rasisamess

[rasisamess]

Relate to piku more and more as an eldest daughter with each passing day.

[rasisamess]

I feel okay, but then I am suddenly on the roof with the 1 blasting in my headphones thinking if that one situationship would have worked out and get overwhelmed by a sudden wave of sadness and yearning.

[rasisamess]

First i overshare, then i overthink. Then, i overshare what I was overthinking, then again I overthink why I overshared what I overthought.

[rasisamess]

I was out with my parents, and while waiting for the elevator, just in front of us were a couple and their daughter, not older than 5. My parents were continuously bickering and I was being a sarcastic middleman trying to make them quiet without creating a scene. The woman ahead of us smiled and grinned wide, she saw her future. That moment of ours made her excited for a moment of hers she'd have to wait for atleast a decade to experience. But that smile meant that however difficult she was finding it all right now, it will be so worth it for her, because seeing our family like that felt like a perfect moment to her, something she would be willing to wait for. Honestly, it felt like one of those moments out of a movie, where a 10 second scene is the most beautiful part of it. This was that 10 second scene.

20th April, 2025

[rasisamess]

I stare at the books I read, at all the art I make, at the dating apps I regularly install and uninstall, as a realisation draws upon me, rather tragic, that it is all just a cry for help, to escape the loneliness of not having found love, the soul crushing bond that ties you to someone forever. I realise that I have not cried, because I no longer find anything worth shedding tears, I realise that as much as my love for family is infinite, living with them suffocates me.

What would a person call this dilemma of sorts, the chaos that tangles your mind in unimaginable shapes and forms.

[rasisamess]

Lyndsay Rush, Short Distance Friendship

[rasisamess]

Night after night

I look close in search of a break in the wall

Relive you everytime

So I mend the little scar i let slide

No one enter, no one leave

Walls so high, sit in and grieve

and you try to find light but

Without a crack in those bricks its just...

[rasisamess]

Sadly, I am my father's stern daughter, with parts of inherent rage, a legacy, parts by my mother, and parts by the feminine cult, risen beyond comprehension.

[rasisamess]

I am jealous of those who think more deeply, who write better, who draw better, who look better, who live better, who love better than I.

-Sylvia Plath

[rasisamess]

It has happened and the fall is endless and there is nothing to grip on apart from those tiny little moments that give you the last of joy. 

“It's taboo to admit that you're lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven't left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you're not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are. A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn't transition well to adult life, that you'd fall right through the cracks. And look at you now, it's happening.”

[rasisamess]

Why do you text me first if you don't have any intention of kissing me

[rasisamess]

Why do I only have to go through so much shit in life!? *proceeds to sleep for 12 hours straight and procrastinate every fucking thing until its too late*

[rasisamess]

babe i really can’t talk right now i’m in the middle of pacing around the house while listening to music

[rasisamess]

I'm pretty sure this is just a coincidence and wasn't supposed to actually MEAN anything, but nevertheless it's true and very interesting that Jess was the only one of Rory's boyfriends that she never wore a costume for.

[rasisamess]

Let us go to the garden and sit under the trees and watch the moon come up behind the mountains.

The broken wings, Kahlil Gibran

[rasisamess]

The feminine urge to do everything and nothing and run away to a far-off castle in England all at the same time

[rasisamess]

Not taylor swift releasing an album for people who stay awake past midnight overthinking the weirdest of stuff and crying over fake scenarios

@taylorswift