raspberrymoriarty

[raspberrymoriarty]

Max: Do you want to play 20 Questions?

Daniel: Sure!

Daniel: What's your favorite color?

Max: Triangle. Do you like guys?

[raspberrymoriarty]

Oscar, throwing a pokeball at Lando: Lando, I choose you!

Lando, not looking up from his gameboy and catching it: You need an Ultra ball to catch this Legendary Pokémon.

[raspberrymoriarty]

Lewis: George just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then he reached down and untied my shoe.

[raspberrymoriarty]

Lando: Is the pink panther a lion?

Oscar: Say that again but slower.

Lando: I don’t get it.

Oscar: He’s a PANTHER.

Lando: Is that a type of lion?

Oscar: No, it’s a fucking panther.

Lando: *googles panther* They aren’t pink?

Oscar: AND LIONS ARE?!

[raspberrymoriarty]

Charles: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.

Max:

Charles: Vroom vroom, come out already.

[raspberrymoriarty]

Daniel: Max, what do you have?

Max: A KNIFE!

Daniel: Okay, have fu-

Sergio: NO!

[raspberrymoriarty]

Lando: Oscar and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.

Oscar: We what?

[raspberrymoriarty]

Daniel: I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

[raspberrymoriarty]

Max: I’m doing what I can to jog your memory.

Daniel: It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little.

Max: Nice.

[raspberrymoriarty]

Lando, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

[raspberrymoriarty]

Max: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Daniel meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

[raspberrymoriarty]

Daniel: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Max: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

[raspberrymoriarty]

Daniel: What are you doing today?

Max: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul. You know hot girl shit.

[raspberrymoriarty]

Daniel: I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship.

Max: These are handcuffs.

Daniel: Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!

[raspberrymoriarty]

SCREAMING THIS IS HILARIOUS

update: marcus now follows the other marcus armstrong on twitter LMFAOO

[raspberrymoriarty]

Charles: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.

Charles: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.

Lance: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?

Charles: Ominous positivity.

[raspberrymoriarty]

Max: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up!

Daniel: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!