rating-mariokart

[rating-mariokart]

Wild Woods

Driving Experience: Driving in Wild Woods takes an interesting series of drifts and tricks. It's nothing too fancy, and is quite beginner friendly in my experience, but has little added bits of complexity such as the rushing water affecting your speed and the moving speed boosts near the end. This is a well crafted track. 5/5

Aesthetics: This track is perfectly charming. The wood plank track, the little odd-shaped houses, driving down a river that flows through a tree root, the leaves floating in the water, the glowing flower buds. 5/5

Music: The music is not bad, but it's unmemorable. Half a point added for adorable shy guy noise. 3.5/5

Secrets: Not many secrets in this track. A point given for a mushroom-specific spot near the end that's tricky to get onto- you have to know it's there and aim for it if you want to get on, because you don't really see it until you're already past it. Half a point for the way the truck splits near the start- it's pretty intuitive that the right track is faster, which it is. 1.5/5

Total Score: 15/20

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DK Summit

Driving Experience: DK Summit has a number of curves that take a careful drift to stay on, and can toss you off the edge if you aren't careful. It's also got a fun bit with a billion tiny mounds to trick off. Overall, it's an interesting drive in which you need to use a variety of manoeuvres. 5/5

Aesthetics: The intended aesthetic of the track is pretty clear- it's ski themed. You can see the ski lifts throughout the track, there's a log cabin just beneath the first jump, and of course you have the skiing shy guys. It commits decently to the aesthetic, but the aesthetic itself is not really compelling enough to warrant a 5. 4/5

Music: it's cool, it's catchy, it fits the vibe. 5/5

Secrets: DK Summit is a tricky track to get right, but there aren't really any good secrets. 0/5

Total Score: 14/20

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Royal Raceway

Driving Experience: Royal Raceway starts with some satisfying deep curves and then goes flat. An intensely boring driving experience. 1/5

Aesthetics: The colour scheme is pleasant. The hot air balloons are adorable. So are the swan boats. 3.5/5

Music: The trumpets match the vibe. Half point for that. But it's not very memorable. 3.5/5

Secrets: There's like one, really obvious ramp you can mushroom onto and boost off. You can also use mushrooms to ignore the curves near the end of the lap. Nothing particularly secretive. 0.5/5

Total Score: 8.5/20

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Dolphin Shoals

Driving Experience: Many fun parts to this track. The ramps into the dolphin rings. The pipes with the air bubbles you can trick off. You can trick repeatedly off the sea snake's spine. 5/5

Aesthetics: The dolphins jumping through the hoops are very cute. There's a good attempt at variety in sea animals- rays, jellyfish, coral. Nothing to go nuts over, unless you're really into marine animals, which I am not. 3.5/5

Music: A delightful little tune, especially the bits with the marimba. Has a marine vibe in a way I cannot explain. 5/5

Secrets: There's a little road off to the side of the huge gap just before the sea snake that lets you bypass having to float on the pipes across the hole. It's decently easy to spot and pretty intuitive to understand that it saves you a significant amount of time. There's also a good spot to use a mushroom that's right before the finish line, which is the most cinematically drama-inducing place to put such a spot. 4.5/5

Total Score: 18/20

[rating-mariokart]

Sunset Wilds

Driving Experience: I absolutely hate the bit at the start, with the oily looking patches you have to squeeze through. The turn isn't worth drifting on, and later on in the area with all the boosts you literally have to drive into the stuff. You get the offroading haptic feedback. It sucks. Later on you dodge past little dancing shy guys with picks, and that part is fun enough to save this track from getting a zero. 1/5

Aesthetics: I love the warm orange cast everything gets. I adore the little dancing shy guys. The shiny patches are apparently mud. They do not look like mud. Point off for that. 4/5

Music: A boppy little tune that puts me in mind of the little dancing shy guys. Whom I love. 5/5

Secrets: Several of the curves can be cut with a mushroom. You can also cut behind the tents in the shy guy camp, but only if you have two whole mushrooms. 2.5/5

Total Score: 12.5/20

[rating-mariokart]

Los Angeles Laps

Driving Experience: Like many of the World Tour tracks, LA Laps shifts every round so that each lap is different. The track starts off really strong, with a couple of boosted jumps and a set of large curves that are really fun to drift around. The excitement tapers off a little after this, though you get another fun boosted jump in the second lap, and an aerial portion in the third lap where you have to aim for the rings- fun, but only accessible if you off-road to hit the ramp, and so only worth it if you have a mushroom to hand. 3.5/5

Aesthetics: I'll admit to not knowing much about LA, and not recognizing any of the landmarks. The sailboats at the beach are adorable, and so are the colourful apartment buildings. However I don't really want to drive through an oil field for over half a lap. That's lame as hell. Would be a zero, but the cute little sailboats. 1.5/5

Music: Not great. Not bad. Not interesting. 2/5

Secrets: There's a couple of places where there's a space carved out specifically to mushroom over that you have to spot and take advantage of. There's also the aforementioned aerial section you need to mushroom into. A little sprinkling of secrets, just what I expect from a mario kart track. 4/5

Total Score: 11/20

[rating-mariokart]

Sunshine Airport

Driving Experience: Sunshine Airport is a pretty average driving experience. All three laps are the same. There's a few exciting moments at the start of the lap- dodging past the crates and around the wheels of the plane, and the narrowness of the path that takes you through the middle of a plane is tricky in an exciting way. 3.5/5

Aesthetics: I love planes. 4/5

Music: A delightful little bop. 4.5/5

Secrets: There's a handful of good spots to use a mushroom in Sunshine Airport. After you get out of the plane, there's a little ramp you can use to cut a corner if you have a mushroom, and it takes a little practice to get it right without falling into the water. You can also mushroom through the baggage claim, as well as over the grass patch right before the baggage claim, and as that's right before the finish line, can often be used to overturn a game at the last second, which is always exciting. 3.5/5

Total Score: 15.5/5

[rating-mariokart]

Post is set for a week, let's see how it goes...

[rating-mariokart]

Neo Bowser City

Driving Experience: This is more or less what you expect from a mario kart track. All three rounds are identical, but there's a good steep S shape near the end that takes a little practice to get right, and depending on your build you may also notice a slight change in how the terrain handles when driving in the areas not protected from the rain. 3.5/5

Aesthetics: The cyberpunk vibe, complete with drippy rain. This is aesthetically one of the coolest mario kart tracks. 4/5

Music: nothing really special or notable. Half a point for matching the vibe of the track. 3.5/5

Secrets: if neo bowser city has secrets, I'm not aware of them. 0/5

Total Score: 11/20

[rating-mariokart]

Singapore Speedway

Driving Experience: This track has it all. Broad highways, narrow streets, long aerial sections, interesting jumps, track that moves like a travelator, a track that varies from round to round. 5/5

Aesthetics: Look, I live in Singapore, and there no way I'm gonna be objective about this. I recognise all the landmarks. I know if they're good recreations or bad ones. Generally, they're pretty good, and hits all of the expected landmarks, as well as a few that I wouldn't consider an auto-include but are nevertheless recognisable- the helix bridge, the Anglican cathedral, the shrine in Chinatown. 5/5

Music: Incredibly generic and repetitive, but I don't hate listening to it. 2/5

Secrets: You can drive on the pool without falling into the water. Driving into the fountain jets allows you to trick, and is a good idea. These are all unintuitive in a way that kinda pisses me off, but driving into the aerial rings and getting a boost for that is fun in a way that makes up for everything. 3/5

Total Score: 15/20

[rating-mariokart]

Riverside Park

Driving Experience: An otherwise pretty average drive, the walking plants give a sense of variance and trickiness to the track. 4/5

Aesthetics: A lovely little drive in a park. There's a waterfall. 4.5/5

Music: The music is wonderful, both interesting and catchy. One point off for the fact that the vibes are definitely giving 'jungle' rather than 'park'. 4/5

Secrets: So there's a handful of curves where you can cut across the grass patch with a mushroom. Otherwise, this track is pretty much straightforward. 2/5

Total score: 14.5/20

[rating-mariokart]

Mario Circuit 3

Driving Experience: Driving on this track is all about the drift. There's a wide variety of curves that keep it varied and interesting across the track. A fantastically fun drive. One point off for no jumps or tricks. 4/5

Aesthetics: A charming retro vibe, but ultimately very plain. I won't mark it down for being what it is, but no bonus points either. 3/5

Music: Repetitively catchy in a charming way. Definitely makes me feel like I'm in an arcade. 4/5

Secrets: there's plenty of curves where a mushroom can give you a decent edge. I wouldn't call any of them secrets, not with how you can see that hole in the wall a mile away. 3.5/5

Total score: 14.5/20

[rating-mariokart]

Cloudtop Cruise

Driving Experience: The bouncy platforms at the beginning? Getting fired out of a giant cannon? The area covered in boost pads that sometimes get struck by lightning? This track is pure fun. 5/5

Aesthetics: The lightning pad area. Awesome. The pirate ship. So cool. The clouds part is kinda boring but I guess the track does have cloud in the name. 4/5

Music: The pure and distilled sound of adventure calling my name. 5/5

Secrets: Not that much going on here, but there's a corner you can cut right near the end. You have to get the angle exactly perfect and also be ready to veer out of the way of the wall the second your wheels touch the ground. Intensely difficult, and worth two points on its own. 2/5

Total Score: 16/20

[rating-mariokart]

Big Blue

Driving Experience: Big Blue is a non-looping course with several different sections, including boost pads, water slides, travelators, and a large jump. In spite of this, the entire experience of driving it is incredibly samey and doesn't require much interesting use of either drifting or handling. 2/5

Aesthetics: It's Blue. 2/5

Music: The music both slaps and fits the vibe of the track. 5/5

Secrets: The track splits a handful of times. I don't really get the sense that any of them are meaningful choices from a casual perspective. There's no real secret to Big Blue. 0/5

Total Score: 9/20

[rating-mariokart]

Sweet Sweet Canyon

Driving Experience: Sweet Sweet Canyon is a truly average driving experience. Decent curves for drifting, but nothing too special, and the track is identical all three rounds. A vague point of interest is the piranha plants near the end, but they are comically easy to avoid so they add a mere half mark. 3.5/5

Aesthetics: Sweet Sweet Canyon commits to the aesthetic, which is sweets. The fact that you enter a water area at one point but the water is tinted so it looks like syrup? Gorgeous. The fact that the checkerboard start looks like chocolate powder? Genius. The graham cracker jump ledges. The little gingerbread houses. I could go on. 5/5

Music: Nothing really special here. It's not bad, but it fades into the background when you're driving. 3/5

Secrets: The donut at the end is fun to drive through, and requires strategy to keep from just driving yourself into a wall. There's also a point where you have to pick the blue left path, or the pink right path. There's no obvious correct choice, and in a time trial, I was just one second faster on the pink path than the blue path. The pink path is an easier dismount, though, as it empties straight onto the road instead of at an angle. I'd say this is less of a secret and more just a way to decongest the path. All in all Sweet Sweet Canyon is a pretty straightforward track. 1/5

Total score: 12.5/20

[rating-mariokart]

Rating System

Courses are rated out of 20 across four scores.

Driving Experience: What's it like to drive on this course? Is it fun to drift on? Are there varied and unique manoeuvres needed?

Aesthetics: Does the course look good?

Music: Does the music slap? Does it suit the course? Sound effects also affect this rating.

Secrets: Are there fun places to use a mushroom? Are there varied directions you can drive, and do they feel like meaningful and intuitive choices?