rationalactor2

[rationalactor2]

Rational Actor is a work in progress.

An ongoing list of what this story is about:

Being a techie with left-leaning belief systems

Having access to capital while also having left-leaning belief systems

Moral OCD

Misogyny in tech

Trying really hard to break the patterns you can see yourself stuck in. Alas

The absurd horrors of office life

If you think you found the one tech industry job that doesn't hurt anyone no you didn't

Being a fat woman surrounded by thin women

Friendships between women that are a lifeline and a dagger at the same time

Spending so much time around someone cumulatively that you grow around and into one another and can no longer be pulled apart without damage

Struggling to evaluate whether your existence has any relevance to anyone or anything else

Agoraphobia

Sensory overload

Bad times at the gay bar

Social anxiety

Climate and capitalism doomerism

Programming and how it worms into your brain

Taking action with good intentions but it blows up in your face as well as everyone else's

Being a good person by doing the right thing vs being a good person by not doing the wrong thing

The cultural furor surrounding artificial intelligence and the mundane disappointing realities underneath

Self-isolation

How COVID derailed everything

Corporate jobs vs startup jobs

Living in a gorgeous townhouse in Manhattan because this is a story and we can do whatever we want in the story we write. Bitch

Bisexuals who fit a stereotype and bisexuals who don't

Touch starvation

Extremely bespoke home renovations

Horrible dates with people from apps who you should have known you wouldn't get along with but you're so exhausted and hollowed out by your own loneliness that you have to periodically re-shock yourself into remembering that not just anyone will do

Chess

Insomnia

Spear-phishing terrible men

Leaking data from websites you don't think should exist

Having the essentially the same argument with your best friend in infinite different forms over the course of many years

Autism with "low support needs"

Trying to keep secrets when you don't know how to lie and don't really want to learn

The utter incompetence of police

How hard it is to figure out who you are and what you want, sometimes

Being down bad as a wlw and having virtually no wlw express interest in you in a way you actually understand quickly enough to act on

Parents who hate each other but are still married unfortunately

Keeping your life together on paper as you spend your days rotting

Not being able to drive