rawruhwhat

[rawruhwhat]

Nothing Lasts Forever.

(my first ever fic here and its nagireo wedding angst. Plz be nice.)

“I now pronounce you husband-”

Reo holds his breath

“And wife!”

Reo exhales, watching Nagi kiss a girl as people erupt in cheers and claps, congratulations and praises. Someone pops the champagne with the groomsmen: Isagi and Bachira who go over to pat Nagis back, everyone is happy, everyone is proud. 

This is beautiful, why can’t Reo see that?

He stands in the crowd, his awkward applauses and smiles mask the need to burn the venue down. He tried to feel the happiness that seemed to permeate the building; over there at the altar was his treasure, the very reason why the flame of his life was ignited. Now someone else who could tell him how much he matters, but it’s not the same. It’s never the same.

He should be going over and celebrating with the others, saying congratulations to your “best friend.” Shake his hand and look at his “best friends” wife to say “take care of this idiot” and burst into endless laughter because you’re happy.

Right?

But instead he’s silently seething at the thought of another woman taking Nagi for herself. He could’ve confessed earlier. 

Tracing off into a different world where he's bombarded with the infinite scenarios in which he could’ve made Nagi his. In the field after school, during any selection in Blue Lock, and before Nagi was dating her.

Why her? What did she have that he didn’t? He was better, richer, and could give Nagi everything! What could she do that he couldn’t?

She got to him first. That’s all he could come up with.

Reo didn’t know who he wanted to kill: her or Nagi.

But what difference would it have made? Reo wasn’t the one Nagi loved.

He’ll only be reminding himself that he’s second place to the real prize to Nagi, those memories with Nagi only make him the best friend who lent a helping hand. He’s back at the third selection, wanting Nagi to choose him. 

He wants to be seen. This is Reo Mikage, and it wasn’t enough for Seishiro Nagi.

“Hey Reo? Are you ok..? You look like you’re about to cry or scream, or both.” Nagi interjected into his thoughts, the same way he did when he first saw him leap down the school stairs to catch a phone. 

It had to have been fate, to meet the man who would change his life forever. The man who he would break and remold himself for, to create a new Reo Mikage every time they met. He’s never the same for Nagi, but Nagi is the statue of time, the ancient treasure at the bottom of the ocean.

“I’m fine…I’m just so happy for you man! You’re married! We’ve been together since highschool, didn’t think you’d ever fall in love!” Reo let out a laugh, which made everyone else laugh too. But he couldn’t hear them, everything seemed so muffled and focused on Nagis dark eyes, just staring at him thoughtfully.

He’s the only one Nagis looking at, like he knew the depth of Reos soul. He hates it; He did everything humanly possible to make Nagi happy. Providing him with more than others could.  Hasn’t he done enough? Was he even human to Nagi?

Yet, he dismisses that. All he can think is “Where did everything go wrong?”

       ~ ^_^ ~

The wedding reception is beautiful; people dancing, colors blaring all around, hyperactive music, and the dim lights of the ballroom making things easier to be confident in.

It’s a nice ballroom, it really does meet the expectations of the Mikage Corps image. 

But this wasn’t his wedding. Sometimes he forgets that. You grow so attached to someone that you want to incorporate yourself into their very being, even if it feels selfish in the end.

“Hey Reo!” A soft, but excited tone calls to him.

That voice breaks his internal silence. That voice he loved so much, Seishiro Nagi. The groom.

“Oh, hey Nagi!” Reo practically beams, he could just brush Nagi off and pretend to not have heard him.

 But,

He still responds with that optimistic voice that he’s spoken to Nagi with since they first met. That voice that he declared worthy to the person who gave him the light to a new beginning, a breakthrough in his character…Nagi was his most complicated and exhilarating challenge.

But, he still loses to his own fate.

 Reo Mikage finally lost, and he can’t even dignify it.