raynos

[raynos]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[raynos]

[raynos]

Doing for fun.

painting or photography // dusk or dawn // spring or autumn // movies or tv shows // chocolate or nutella // audiobooks or podcasts // card games or board games // fiction or nonfiction // cookies or brownies // dragons or unicorns // bath or shower // blue or yellow // roller-coasters or bumper cars // iced tea or hot tea // left side of bed or right side of bed // zip-up hoodie or pullover hoodie // straight hair or curly hair // gummy worms or gummy bears// rain or snow // sneakers or flip-flops // bowling or mini-golf // pasta or pizza

Feel free to anyone who wants to play.

@yarart4ever tagged me in this post. It was getting kind of long so I'm just gonna branch off with my own. Thanks for tagging me buddy <3

painting or photography // dusk or dawn // spring or autumn // movies or tv shows // chocolate or nutella // audiobooks or podcasts // card games or board games // fiction or nonfiction // cookies or brownies // dragons or unicorns // bath or shower // blue or yellow // rollercoasters or bumper cars // iced tea or hot tea // left side of bed or right side of bed // zip-up hoodie or pullover hoodie // straight hair or curly hair // gummy worms or gummy bears // rain or snow // sneakers or flip-flops // bowling or mini-golf // pasta or pizza

This was cute. I'm tagging @shizukateal @catspinach @0v9 @peri @sub-at-omicsteminist but anyone can do this and tag me if they want!

[raynos]

Across the Spider-Verse, 0:52:00, Frame 74811

[raynos]

Like to charge reblog to cast

[raynos]

A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett's The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.

I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.

All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."

But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.

It's intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it's very easy to find, but here's a link for it anyways.

[raynos]

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

[raynos]

instagram | sixteenmilesout

[raynos]

NOOOOO MY ART GOT NUKED

[raynos]

It's a little surprising that the "Monday's child is fair of face" nursery rhyme never caught on as an arbitrary personality-assigner in the same way astrology did. It makes the same amount of sense.

[raynos]

All of you are wrong. Noodles and pasta are only different thanks to shape, which affects what sauce/ingredients you typically use, and how you cook/eat them.

But they are also each other, which is why cheese ramen and macaroni soup exist.

Think of it as different species but same genus, if you're into biology.

since apparently this is controversial, reblog with your country in the tags and whether or not you think noodles and pasta are the same thing

[raynos]

Spin the wheel. That's who's trying to kill you.

Spin the wheel again. That’s who’s trying to protect you.

(If you have zero idea about the name you got, spin until you see someone you recognize.)

(Six months ago, I did a version of this poll with about five hundred options on the spinner wheel. For this one, I more than doubled it.)

[raynos]

it's gonna be so cool in ten years when i have to argue with people who think they're in love with their sycophantic AI companion

[raynos]

Well, well, well... how do you like them comments?

it’s true!! you can now like comments on Tumblr posts. you know those little replies under posts? you can heart them now.

why did it take us so long? well, we’ve been busy letting Instagram catch up on reblogs (sorry—reposts). now they’re finally up to speed, we figured we could borrow one of their features 😏

it works exactly how you think: see a comment you love → tap the heart → bask in the mutual validation. check out the comments section of this post to try it out. 

go forth and like those comments responsibly!!! or, yk, generously, abundantly, and with all your heart. you know how this goes.

[raynos]

what do you mean you don't have an essay about ace bro 😭😭

i also want to think about it now but the only thought in my head is "haha wouldn't it be funny" 😭😭😭

Alright, hello, so. Basically, no, I don't have the essay anymore! It was 2022, I had been actively working on my Bro Meta Post (you probably know the one, simply because it's my pinned and I refuse to remove it now, I think it's become a part of my brand)

That being said, I am fully capable of writing a probably more hinged, less deliriously self-indulgent new essay, about ace Bro! :) This ended up being untrue. Instead, I talked about puppets. Again. (This is your warning that the below text talks about kink and fetish, especially and almost exclusively in relation to puppets. Sorry. it's also two thousand words. thus the read more.)

Let us get started!

Alright, tiny bit of context.

So basically what happened, right, is that someone asked me one time, about Bro's sexuality, specifically in RNG. and I was like. Well. I think I ended up saying, essentially, that it's not something I'd ever thought much about, because he's always had a lot more going on.

But then I DID start to think about it.

(I mean what I really ended up doing was blacking out and writing that horrible nightmare pinned post)

But I did also say some things, to people I like, in private, or semi-private, on discord, and I've gone through the trouble of dragging up some of the things I said, which I will reword here.

The first thing I said was, ultimately, he identifies as tired LOL

Bro Strider has been raising a baby basically his entire adulthood. If anyone at all remembers the five minutes that Skaianet thing (you know the weird thing about all the clowns that read like some kind of weird conspiracy theory??) was up, I believe it said that Bro and Mom came down in 1975, which mean that Bro had just turned 20 the day Dave’s meteor dropped, and once he had a baby, there’s not like. A lot of time left for yourself after that? Being the kind of person he is (as we see and interpret him, being a Dirk Strider), I just can’t imagine him dedicating a lot of his free time to that shit. He was too busy fucking up Dave’s childhood fantastically to be dating random fucking people, not to mention that Dave himself had absolutely no idea about Dirk’s sexuality at all, which means Bro wasn’t bringing anyone home, so.

And that’s not even getting in to Lil Cal.

And yes, okay, I also started with, okay knowing Bro is Bro, what could possibly be funnier than “Bro is asexual, yes he makes smut puppets, the two are not mutually exclusive.”

And then it got less funny and more, I didn’t shut up.

Words I said with my actual mouth (computer): I now think bro as asexual is so fucking funny and also my god he really cares so much more about puppets and the construction of puppets and running his stupid puppet website, who even has TIME for SEX

More words I said: You can write Bro as ace because he’s a freak but only for freak shit

Both of these are things that are true, past me was on to something, I think.

And then I was like, well hold on now kids, this might be fun to explore.

And honestly, I hope we’re all ready to talk about puppets. When it comes to Bro, as well as any Dirk, one must always be ready to talk about puppets. This is a truth of the world.

Okay but quick detour first we do have to talk about Lil Cal.

You really do have to remember that Cal was all Bro had, and that Caliborn is part of Lil Cal, and that Caliborn’s idea of salacious was kissing and getting married and shit, and this isn’t really meant about his trauma, though I genuinely cannot fucking imagine what that would do to a person, to grow up with that as your sole influence, your literal actual Puppet Dad, as I believe Hussie is on record saying. But I mean it’s more complicated than that. It really depends on how much agency you give Cal, at the end of the day. I’m very much in the camp of Cal largely just encouraged and exacerbated Dirk’s already toxic qualities, maybe would lay on the horn in regards to positive interaction and affection, and again, what happens when you isolate Dirk? Well. Who knows, really. That, I suppose. What matters is that we’ve seen what Lil Cal can do, when in the hands of other people, and Bro Strider spent every single day with him from the second he landed on Earth until he bit it. So. In some ways, less of a concrete thing I’ve thought about and more of like, I cannot see this helping Bro whatsoever in terms of ability to navigate and explore his sexuality, particularly not in Texas in the 80s, even for how far removed we are from reality in a world where we have specibi and god powers.

Anyway back to the asexuality and puppets thing, now that we got Cal as an influence thing out of the way, but not the puppets.

And sure, the puppet fetish has been in Homestuck since (checks watch) at least August 2009, and sure, Bro as an asexual person is funny when you think about his dedication to the beloved art of the plush rump, but the thing is.

Okay the thing is that if you really, truly, want to embrace Bro or Dirk but definitely Bro as a character, you must ponder, or at least vaguely consider the supposed appeal of puppets as a fetish.

It always comes back to the fucking puppets.

Meat has a post about puppets as a fetish that kind of touches on some things that I do also think, in relation to both Dirk and Bro, makes sense.

Here is your obligatory reminder here that Dirk Strider canonically LOVES puppets:

Sometimes I really feel like I must drive this point home. He loves them. He genuinely fucking loves them.

Though we aren’t going to talk about Dirk being ace, here, mostly because as with all things between the Beta and Alpha session, I suspect the two of them differ here. (something I’ve also said: (kisses bro) this is one is ace. (holds dirk upside down) this one is not. at least this my current working theory.)

 Of course the only thing I care about when it comes to headcanons is how much fun they are so. It doesn’t matter which way anyone leans on that matter.

BACK TO BRO!!! In a way, his interest in puppets, and his dedication to them as a way to make money and his livelihood (I mean we don’t really. Know. Exactly. Still. I’ve already gone over plushrumps, I’m not doing it again), makes sense for someone who is asexual.

It gives him the ability to remove himself from the situation, in a way. It creates a quite literal physical separation between him and the act of sex, in that the puppets are not real, they don’t have feelings or thoughts, and they cannot touch, interact with, or do anything to him, as all movement comes at his hand. It’s about control, and the abstraction of the pornographic content, the self removed from the kink while still completely absorbed within and even participating in said kink.

Other words I have said: Bro like, “I have spent 5 hours handcrafting this puppet pornography scene and arranging angles etc etc…. no I don’t want to do anything about it I would actually rather be eating my banana bread thank u”

But the problem of course with Bro is that he’s still a Dirk, and you (royal you, the collective hivemind who participated in my original ramble) know he’s so fucking insufferable about that shit, probably has some kind of stupid meta narrative within the puppet porn centered around how obsessed with sex society is to the point of absurdism. Even with a very real puppet fetish, it is likely, given our knowledge of the pervasiveness of “the ironies” within both Bro and Dirk’s personalities and associated creative works, the puppet porn, while also just straight up being puppet porn, has the additional layer of being ridiculous not because they are puppets, but because sex is a little bit ridiculous, through the eyes of a person who is not interested in sex, and also is a weird dude who flips out with his sword sometimes. I think the little porn bots he created whose sole reason for being is to roleplay about quivering proboscises is a fairly good depiction of the way that Bro Strider might view sexual activity. And you know some people who are ace do very much feel this way, about how absolutely absurd sex is (because it is lol) so this as an angle also fits pretty well both with his personality, and with the hypothetical of Bro himself being asexual

Not, it should go on the record, that I think he would ever admit that. He would just be like, “Everyone else is weird about sex, I’m the one who’s normal. People make everything about sex, it’s ridiculous, what a base mentality to have.” Because he is also a dude in his 30s in the 2000s. I really truly think that you’d get him to cut off his own left arm before he’d even so much as cop to a label of any kind, and that, at least, I am sure of lol.

More insane shit I’ve said but related to Bro and Cal, and relating to the concept of being asexual in a way that’s not wholly comfortable (aka, What Did Cal Influence in Bro’s Life):

I do lean hard into the idea that this man has never felt a single kind touch in his life that did not end in him being deeply deeply uncomfortable probably in some part due to Cal. Wire mother vs Cloth mother etc etc. Punishment for kindness, vs reward for cruelty, blah blah meta again u know me I keep falling back in here. But it does leave the door open for some real fucking tenderness if you can get past his nasty little reclusive self.

 Well u know puppets are not other people so there would be no repercussions for touching them! They are soft, and they cannot hurt him :) and also, he is the one who controls them, and not the other way around.

Kinks and Fetishes, things are removed from being human, can be a very safe thing for an ace person, to have a step removed from the act. Even if examining the act or seeing the object or action gives you pleasure, even if putting yourself up in there would repulse you, or if not repulse, make horribly uncomfortable (maybe even just bored, u know, there are levels), this kind of abstraction allows for a kind of “safety” u know???

SO!!! That is about it, as far as things I’ve said. Anything else I think would come from my own headcanons and the way I see Bro, as someone closed off, unwilling to express himself, let alone what he wants or needs, and I just imagine that in that way, avoiding relationships all together would be easier than trying to find a way to tell anyone at all that he might not be interested in sex. I personally would place a bet that Bro swings wildly between being sex neutral to the point of being stubborn about it to being touch repulsed in a way that is depressing and no good (but probably lots of fun to write about, who doesn’t love whump). He thinks it’s ridiculous,  but he’s not AFRAID (unhealthy way to put that) of it, okay, it’s just. He has things he’d rather be doing. Probably writing, constructing, shooting, directing, and filming puppets, honestly. Or, if you like a bit of Dirk in your Bro, balancing spreadsheets :)

SORRY this is so fucking all over the place and also not a real essay but it IS long and Tony DID make fun of me so I am going to stop.

I hope you had fun, and also I am sorry.

[raynos]

[raynos]

Vivienne Westwood mini kilt, 1993