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ok this ones kinda dumb

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Y

E

S

so I've been rewatching all* MST3k in order

I started with Season 8 (beginning of the Scifi Channel era) and when I finished 8-10 (Scifi channel era) I looped around to Season 1 in its doofy under-written Dr Erhart-y goodness (or as Comedy Central called it at one point, "Season 1, with cardboard sets and a fake Frank").

..uh, would folks like to hear about it?

*: all cable tv-based mst3k; so Joel / Mike, Comedy Central / Scifi

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testosterone should be neon green and glowing btw

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Everyone clap for non consensual body modification everybody loves a character whose body has been altered against their will

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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

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Hey man, ahead of this heatwave I'm gonna go ahead and rip the veil off of something for you:

The reason American Southerners have the luxury of saying that 90 ain't that bad and it's not unbearable until it's 100 is 1) prolonged exposure to high temperatures over multiple decades 2) our mindset for these living conditions.

You don't have number 1, and you can't just acquire it, so I need you to adopt number 2 immediately. How do you live like a Southerner in the heat?

Don't be a hero.

Stay inside. Buy a box fan, put it next to a bucket of ice, and wrap your arms around it like a lover. Do not leave the shade under any circumstances. If a dude makes fun of you for getting out of the sun, don't get mad, just think of a funnier insult to call him while you flip him off and go stand under a tree.

Southerners love nothing more than to exaggerate and lie to each other. Like I think we got off on the wrong foot when you walked in on us saying things like "It was only 110, I didn't even take my damn jacket off" when really, last week it was 95 at 10 PM and we were on the bed buck nekkid in front of the fan moaning incoherently and praying to die. So yeah, we can take extreme heat. We also want you to think we can take ludicrous heat. You must learn to talk shit and then be a hypocrite and a coward in your actions, because this will serve you best.

It sounds like I am joking but I cannot express to you how much I am not. Do not fuck with Mother Nature, because that bitch will kill you. Take every opportunity to lower your body temperature and drink water, because that is what all of us in hot climates are doing all the time, and that is why we are not dead, even when it seems like we should be.

(And yeah, we do go through like two and a half ugly weeks in April every year where everyone wants to absolutely just goddamn drop dead because none of us have our heat tolerance back, but we must go to work anyway, which must be a crime. And yes, when it gets below 70 we really all do short circuit and cover ourselves in seven jackets, except for Shorts Guy.)

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The beauty of tumblr is that some people here think that cigarettes get you high and drinking once a week makes you an alcoholic, while others here started smoking at 13 and wouldn't even consider ketamine a drug because everyone does it. And both of them are on tumblr blogging about TV shows from 2005.

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Nikki doodle

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if you’re on tumblr and over the age of 24 it means the mental illness won

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Can We Talk About Dinsey's Transgender Princess?

There has been as lot of fan discussion about Frozen over the past several months, a movie that has (justifiably) stirred strong feelings on both sides of the spectrum. It’s a movie that deserves to be talked about, balanced as it is between being Disney’s first major animated feature directed by a woman and containing some progressive notions of sisterhood and staggeringly obvious allegories to growing up queer, and the blatantly racist white-washing of history and the problematic comments of its head of animation complaining that women are hard to animate because emotions. I’m glad it’s stirring debate and that the debate raising awareness, and will hopefully lead us to a future with better, more inclusive animated features for everyone.

But why does no one ever talk about the fact that Jasmine is trans?

Disney’s Aladdin came out 22 years ago. It is old enough to drink. And it gave us the first transgender Disney princess, but no one ever talks about her being trans. Why not?

Jasmine is a princess with no ladies in waiting, no handmaidens, no female servants of any kind. In fact, the only servants she has are guards. Male guards. Male guards who are very clearly not intended to be eunuchs. That’s… a bit odd, especially considering her father is obsessed with keeping her isolated and hidden in the palace, and with strictly obeying marriage laws which, we can assume (since three men stand around arguing over who gets to deflower marry her) depend heavily on her remaining a virgin.

But we see later in the movie that the Sultan can change the marriage laws on a whim. This speaks to a man trying to teach his child a lesson about how hard it is being a woman. It speaks to a man trying to convince his daughter not to be a woman.

Jasmine’s only companion besides her creepy male guards and out-of-touch father is her pet tiger, Raja. The princess’s tiger is literally named “Prince.” And her “prince,” which seems large and scary at first glance despite being loveable and fun, keeps driving away male suitors. And what’s one of the first things Jafar decides he needs to do when he wants to sexualize Jasmine? He shrinks her tiger.

And let’s talk about that red outfit Jafar puts her in. Jasmine is one of the few Disney princess to be overtly sexualized. And if there’s one things cis people love to do, it’s sexualize trans women. After all, changing your gender presentation can’t be about seeing the world through more genuine eyes or being a more fulfilled person, like Jasmine talks about wanting in her introduction; it must be about sex. It’s not exactly a trope in Disney movies that the heroine needs to be vamped up when captured; The Horned King doesn’t sexualize Eilonwy, Beast doesn’t put Belle in something more revealing, Malificent doesn’t sexualize Aurora (despite Malificent obviously being gay). Even Disney’s other princesses of color don’t end up getting that kind of egregious treatment, even though white people love to eroticize women of color.

Jasmine hails from one of the most medically- and scientifically-literate cultures in the ancient world. A culture that already had a concept of transgender women, and has transgender priestess of various faiths. So it’s hardly a stretch to believe it isn’t appropriate for a fantastical, Arabian-knights-style setting.

So let’s talk about this. Let’s stop hiding the fact. Maybe it was too taboo to discuss in 1992, but it’s 2014 now and Jasmine is Disney’s first trans princess, and more people need to know.

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fat belly peeking out of too short shirt: the hottest summer look?

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I want to try so many little hobbies. Candle making, soap making, basket weaving, wood carving, book binding, baking, weaving, I want to try them all.

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Pan says hi ! Welcome to her bakery !

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Happy #makeaterriblecomicday2025! Please make a comic! It’s mandatory that you create some piece of sequential art — what it is and how you make it is up to you! Have fun! You might as well!

If you make a comic (again, it’s mandatory) and you want to share it, post it on the tag #makeaterriblecomicday2025! Or don’t, I’m not a cop.

Remember, the goal is to make something terrible! So if you can’t draw or have never made a comic, or if it’s been ages since you made something just for fun — that’s perfect! You’re all set! If you fuck up and make something that’s NOT terrible… well, some might say there’s joy in that too.

Ok stop reading this and go make something!!!

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

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glass // 3

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