re-break-my-bones

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My partner's sent me the first illustration for the book <3

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big fan of romance horror. big fan of terrible people still being loved. big fan of bending morality and turning the grotesque into something beautiful.

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If you are dealing with a "situationship" there is really only one solution:

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“Perverted”

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Found the original idea I wrote down for re-break in my notes!

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Fig. 1

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My love holds me still like a frightened rabbit

Hands soft against mottled skin

I'm sensitive- shaved and plucked and raw

Reluctant but ready,

fearful but trusting.

I am hurt, as I usually am

Tears stream down my cheeks

as they tell me,

"It's okay, it's okay, you're going to be okay"

And softly they whisper,

"Do you want me to keep going?"

And I tell them yes, yes,

Because I am used to being hurt

But not used to being comforted

My love carves a space into me

Flesh rent by teeth and claws

Hands tied, collared, leashed,

They tame me, teach me

And I am eager to learn

Pleasure and suffering are good bedfellows

Their body deals both

Bruises by the same hand that caresses me

Bite marks by the same mouth that kisses me

I tell them yes, yes,

And they turn the knife

And I am satisfied

My love is tender with me

And I am tender as well

Easily ripped through with teeth or knife

Endowed with a purpose

I have not yet served

I offer myself to them,

A sacrifice to the god I worship

And they take me, deem me worthy

A hunting trophy, that scared rabbit

Strung up by my feet

As I want, as I need

My love tends to my wounds

When tears stream down my cheeks,

It is their soft hands that hold me

And their whispers that soothe me

Bruises are reminders of their gentle touch

And pain is a shadow of their kindness

Maybe my cruel desires are reflections

Of the cruelty levelled at me

By people without soft hands and tender touch

But my love tells me,

"It's okay, it's okay, you're going to be okay"

And I know it doesn't matter

The cruelties of the past filter away year by year

Replaced by kinder ones

My love shows me

That meat deserves to be savoured

That bloodied hands deserve to be held

That broken bodies deserve to be mended

That cruelty is kind when it is asked for

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Call for Beta Readers

Wesley Short is depressed. Meds don't work. He hasn't felt alive in years, meandering through life with a dead end job and few prospects. When he learns that his high school crush- or maybe, fascination- is in jail and suspected of murder, he decides to take the leap and cast himself as the victim in a gory love story.

Length: 20k (complete)

Genre: horror romance

Content warnings: Explicit violence, explicit sexual content, frank discussion of suicide and sef harm, gore, psychological abuse, and mental disorders.

Re-Break My Bones is a story that came out of a mental health crisis. It's my attempt at communicating what it's like to have Borderline Personality Disorder, not in an abstract and humanizing way, but in a confronting and uncomfortable way. I'm looking for beta readers with or without cluster B disorders to read it and let me know what they think about the plot, characters, and prose so I can find out if it's communicating what I want to say effectively. I have no strict deadline, but I'd appreciate a time estimate from readers if possible, just so I know what to expect.

All you have to do is read the story and send me your honest feedback. I'll provide a list of questions to guide your feedback, but any and all feedback is appreciated.

If you're interested, you can send me a DM on Tumblr (this blog or @townofcrosshollow) or add me on Discord (andallthatjasper)

If you aren't able to beta read, reblogs are also appreciated!

Here's an exerpt:

Sunlight pierced the curtains like a blade, spilling into their darkened sanctuary and rousing Wesley from his sleep. He rolled over, stretched his arms, let out a loud yawn. The room was lit by a soft ambient glow, a single shaft of bright white cutting through the wall above his head and down to the discarded clothes at the bedside. His pocketknife and meds sat untouched on the bedside table. It was like nothing ever happened. For a moment, rubbing sleep from his eyes, Wesley wondered at the strange nature of his dream.

He reached for his phone. It wasn’t there. The rhythmic pulsing of the red power button on his laptop was absent. Sitting up, sheets pooled around his waist, he could hear movement in the other room. A light shone from below the door.

Reality came into focus in an agonizing moment. His back hurt. Not an ache- the sharp twinge of a surface wound, inflamed lines where a belt had grazed his skin. His body, defiled, cried out at him through signals from his pain receptors. It was desperate to leave this place. It had never believed this was a dream. To his body, this was dire. An existential threat.

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bored of puppyboys and catboys. lets consider the humble fishboy, who you can stick hooks in and also gut with a knife. and he loves it

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Sneak peek of the art for the final PDF, being done by my beautiful wonderful partner 👀

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I wanted to take him home and rough him up and get my hands inside him, drive my body into his like a crash test car.

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all the better to eat you with

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STRANGE DARLING jt mollner, 2023