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[readingabc]

how to actually talk to people (without wanting to vanish into the void)

so you wanna strike up a conversation with that cool coworker, the neighbor you always see at the mailbox, or the person at the café reading your favorite book—but your brain goes ”ABORT MISSION” the second you try. Same. Such a loser right (not you me)...

I found this amazing article by conversation researcher michael yeomans that breaks down how to stop overthinking and just… talk to humans. here’s the gist:

✨ stop waiting for the ~perfect moment

newsflash: it doesn’t exist. most people are way more open to chatting than you think (we’re all just pretending we’re not awkward).

✨ look for low-key clues

their tote bag, their book, their ”i survived my vacation” t-shirt—all golden opportunities to say something like ”oh hey, i love that author!” or ”where was the vacation from hell?” (ok maybe phrase it nicer).

✨ share TWO things about yourself

instead of just ”i’m from seattle”, try ”i’m from seattle, but i miss the pizza from nyc.” now they can pick which thread to pull. galaxy brain move.

✨ ask questions that don’t sound like a job interview

swap ”what do you do?” for ”what’s something you’re obsessed with lately?” or ”what’s the best part of your day so far?” (bonus points if you actually listen to their answer.)

✨ avoid the “boomerask"

don’t be that person who asks ”do you like living here?” just so you can rant about your landlord. let the conversation breathe.

full article here:

~~ talking to strangers is less scary when you realize everyone’s just a little bit feral and lonely. go forth and say the thing.