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Jason: yo, whatcha doin’? Damian: *arms crossed, glaring out the window* Father forbade me from moving out Jason: well you are like fiv— Damian: is this not called the land of the free? Jason: Damian: how can I be free, held within these walls like a canary in a coal mine? Forbidden from spreading my wings? Jason: bro you ain’t even in middle school yet, turn off the teenage angst and have one of the cookies I brought you Damian: *huffs and petulantly accepts the cookie* Jason: why’d’ya even wanna move out anyway? Damian: Jason: Damian: . . . Father said he would not allow me to house a tiger here, which I find unacceptable Jason: Jason: you. Have a tiger? Damian: *frowning* have I not mentioned this before? You must have seen her during your time in the League, Akhi. She was but a cub then Jason: KID, YOU KNOW I WAS HIGH AS A KITE ON GREEN ANGER JUICE WHILE I WAS RHERE. THE ONLY THINGS I CARED ABOUT WERE YOU, THAT ONE DESSERT MADE IN THE KITCHENS WITH RICE, AND THE EXTREMELY ENTICING IDEA OF BURNING THIS MANOR TO THE GROUND. YOU KNOW MY MEMORY OF THAT TIME IS SPOTTIER THAN DICK’S ABILITY TO ACCEPT PHONE CALLS. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WOULD REMEMBER A FUCKIN CAT? I AINT EVEN A CAT PERSON Damian: *arches brow* really? You were the one to help me bottle feed her. She slept in your lap most nights. Jason: Jason: this is manipulation Damian: 🥺 Jason: Jason: fine. She can stay at my house. But you’re explaining this to Dickie.

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had some fun drawing random batfam headcanons (pt 1? let's see how it goes)

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Jason: *walks into the kitchen, still half asleep* dick: *sitting at the counter* hey! How’d you sleep? Jason: Jason: *takes long drag of coffee* hmm. Dick: . . . What? Jason: decaf. Dick: what . . . Jason: *growing more angry* DECAF. Alfred, more than used to the batfamily’s one word morning speak: he says someone put decaf coffee in the coffee machine, master Richard. Dick: Jason: *eyes narrow* you Dick: *already backing away* TIM NEEDED SOMETHING OTHER THAN CAFFEINE, ITS NOT HEALTHY Jason: your FACE isn’t healthy Alfred: *calmly hands Jason a caffeinated cup* here, master Jason. This might allow you to articulate your words better dick: *under his breath* you mean make him make sense!? Alfred: Jason: *in an absolutely terrifying voice* heard that Dick: oh shit *speed walks out of kitchen*

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Jason: *walks out of the kitchen to find Steph sitting alone in the living room* what’re ya doin’? Steph: *doesn’t even look away from the window* I’ve found prime entertainment Jason: *looks out the widow to see Bruce, holding a platter of fruits and wearing a toga while Damian stands near with an easel* Jason: Steph: Bruce: Damian . . . We do have . . . Real marble statues, do we not? Damian: we do, father. Bruce: so why— Damian: stop talking, it interferes with the position of your face and therefor my painting Jason: *snaps photo, still staring*

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after Jason reveals his identity as the Red Hood i like to think about the kids begging for Jason to hang out with them and rejoin the family and that but Jason’s being a little bitch about it so when Dick asks for his phone number he just throws an ouija board at him and says ‘i’ll sense it’

issue is that while slightly drunk and sad that his brother hates him, Dick decided to try it out, and Damian watching him through a crack in the door thought it would be funny to text Jason (because he actually does have his league bro’s number) about it so that Jason could maybe mention it the next time they see each other on patrol to freak Dick out, except Jason was working not too far from the manor at the time and he thought it would be even funnier to swing by, slam up against the window and scream through the glass ‘STOP FUCKING DRUNK TEXTING ME�� and absolutely scares the shit out of Dick. so now Dick thinks that ouija boards actually work on Jason because he’s still part ghost and Jason and Damian are scrambling to try and keep up the ruse because of how funny it is.

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Duke insulting Jason Todd for no reason oh Duke nation we are so back

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A Collection of My Favourite Duke Thomas Thoughts

We Are Robin #1 // We Are Robin #2 // We Are Robin #6 // We Are Robin #7 // Batman & The Signal #1 // Batman & The Signal #2 // Batman & The Signal #3 // The Cursed Wheel

[redhead-batgal-offline]

Bruce, giving teen!Jason the shittiest car driving lesson ever: And remember, if you still hadn't figured out how to park, and a police officer tries to fine you for that, just tell your name backwards. The CGPD has too much job to actually search for you afterwards. They will just have a pile on your name in their department. And I didn't tell you that, but their system hadn't been updated well for ages. So, they won't be able to tell for sure if you are lying about your name or not. 16!Jason, nodding: Sounds cool. Bruce: ...It is not cool, but Alfred said it works, so we listen to Alfred.

(Years later, pre-reveal)

Batman, standing on the rooftop: So, Jim... anything new? Jim Gordon: Yeah, you know, nothing, actually. Except for an asshole, whose parking fines are filling my whole fucking cabinet. He keeps putting his bike anywhere he wants, especially next to our building - an audacity! - and then, disappears after receiving a fine. I can't find him anywhere. Batman, chuckling: That's smart. Jim Gordon: Yeah, fuck him. Tason Jodd, my ass. Who fucking names their kid like that? Batman, with his smile disappearing: ...What. Jim Gordon: What? Batman: ...Jim. I need you to call me the next time this guy appears. Jim Gordon, concerned: Hey, this is just a teenager. It is fine, no need to break his spine or something- Batman: Use Bat-signal next time you see him. I am serious. Jim Gordon: ...What the hell. Sure?

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Bruce: Jason, meet my other son. Your . . . brother. Dick: *grinning* hey, kiddo! you can call me Dick jason: *frowning* why the fuck would i do that? i ain't lookin' t' be unadopted in a day dick: bruce: alfred: language, master jason

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Damian: Want to help me commit a felony?

Jason: What the hell??

Damian: Sorry, my bad.

Damian, whispering: Want to help me commit a felony?

Jason, whispering: Of course dude, what do you need?

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Robin! Jason: Robin gives me magic! :D

Constantine: *suspicious side eye glaring* Hm....

Bruce: oh come on, just because I have a high chance of being consumed by evil if I do magic -which is why I'm not allowed to do magic- doesn't mean he will! That's just a kid's saying! Constantine: uh huh -------------------------------

Red hood! Jason: *all-blades in hand* Sup motherfuckers guess who's back Constantine: I FUCKING KNEW IT

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The batkids are all terrors for Bruce, but I like to think that they'd all instantly be on their best behavior for Clark

Red Hood, holding a small child in one arm while running from the kids kidnappers and shooting at them when Superman flies down and saves them.

Superman- Is that a gun?

Red Hood, instinctively pointing at the kid- Its his.

Superman- It's his gun?

Red Hood- Yup. I just confiscated it. I'm the responsible one here

Spoiler, bragging about how she took down Two-Face when Clark walks in- He thought he could get away from me by getting on the freeway and laying down an oil slick, but I-... uhhhhh, steered around it... carefully. And then... followed after him.

Clark-...

Spoiler- He ran outta gas

Clark- Really.

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I love the trope that Damian is always dropping Jason lore on accident to an unsuspecting bat family, but I raise you this: Damian starts dropping little facts bc he's pissed that the rest of the bats are so clueless when it comes to his brother

-

Jason: idk why Alfred started making more italian lately but this is the best week of my life

Damian, who recently informed the family of some of Jason's favorite recipies: maybe he's having a phase

-

Jason, off-handedly to Damian exactly one (1) time: yeah, i just run cold these days, side effect of being dead I guess

*several weeks later*

Damian: hello

Jason, staring at the frankly appalling amount to soft and cozy blankets piled in the living room: hi????

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Guys please I’m begging as an Arabic speaker when you’re talking about Damian referring to Jason as “akhi”, the only context that would work in is if he actually speaking to someone else and refers to Jason. Sentences like “Damian thinks of his akhi” don’t work cause “akhi” is MY brother so you’re basically saying “Damian thinks of his my brother”. If you really wanted to use an Arabic word (which you absolutely don’t have to you ca just say brother in English it flows much better) you could just use “akh” which is just “brother” OR “akhah” which is high Arabic for “his brother”. So it would be “Damian thinks of his akh” or “Damian thinks of akhah” which like… in sentences like these, again… just say brother dude.

Alternative pronunciations of “akhi” based on dialect also exist. I’m Iraqi and we say “akhuya” for example. Gulf dialects use “akhooy”

Conjugation for “your brother” could go something like “akhook” (male, dialect), “akhaak” (male, high Arabic), “akhooki” (female, dialect), “akhaaki” (female, high Arabic (also known as fus-ha)) some dialects use a ch sound instead of the k at the end when talking to a woman (aka: akhooch in place of “akhooki”)

Conjugation for “his brother” is “akhah”, for “her brother” is “akha-ha”

I hope I didn’t confuse all of you😭 if anyone has any questions about Arabic don’t hesitate to reach out!! It IS one of the hardest languages to learn and even as a native speaker I struggle sometimes so it’s completely understandable. In case of doubt just go with the English word cause unless Damian is also talking with a bilingual person who knows Arabic, he’s not gonna drop random Arabic words in the middle of the sentence.

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Talia: *attempting to calm a newly conscious Jason Todd* I am sure this must come as a shock to you, child, but it’s been three years since- Jason: *jolting up in bed, scaring the shit out of five watching assassins* FUCK, MY FICS HAVE GONE UN-UPDATED FOR THREE YEARS? Talia: Jason: I PROMISED MY SUBSCRIBERS— Ra’s: *leaning over to Talia* what is a . . “Fic”? Talia: *shrugs*

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I am never letting go of the “English teacher Jason” headcanon/AU. It’s the best thing ever, I don’t give a shit what you might say. “He didn’t have a lengthy education” so what? This is an AU. He gets a better education. “He’s not good with kids” SAYS WHO. “He’s too busy with his vigilante life” IF TIM CAN RUN A COMPANY THEN JASON CAN BE A TEACHER.

specifically here are the reasons this headcanon/AU slaps:

jason: here's the homework for tonight, guys. bring it back in the morning. unless you have extenuating circumstances. I'm aware a lot of roads are closed and some of you might be hopped up on any number of air pollutants tomorrow because of the recent joker gas outbreak. just . . . i don't know, send me an email. His students: . . . the homework is literally to read a book jason: oh yeah. then . . . read. i guess. don't do anything else. also, don't go out. the bat's working on the gas problem.

jason: here's the book for this week's paper. It's one of my personal favorites! so disrespect it and I fail you. his students: . . . this is a janme austen novel jason: *built like a brick, wearing glasses that do not hidde his perpetual glower, has bruised knuckles* yes? his students: *internally* thank god none of us have insulted jane austen before his students: nothing, teach

Tim: hey, do you have time to join me on patrol tonight? jason: sorry, no. i ghotta read and edit like four papers, and one of them is Jimmy's. it's gonna be a wine night. tim: tim: my first instinct is to ask why you're reading and editing papers but I really honestly just want to know what the fuck jimmy did

his students: *falling asleep* jason: OMG IS THAT RED ROBIN his students: *snap up to look out the window* jason: *bangs hand on desk* WHY WOULD YOU CARE MORE ABOUT RED ROBIN THAN JOHN MUIR. ONE'S LITERALLY A KNOCKOFF ROBIN WITH A BURGER FRANCHISE COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT FOR A NAME

his students: *conversing in the hallway* yeah he's like . . . super ripped. i wonder if he . . . what if he's a superhero??? jason, wlaking past: *deadpan voice* ah, yes. i confess . . . *rips off glasses* I am superman one brave soul: we were thinking more like . . batman jason: what? ew, no.

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Bruce: where’s Jason? Wasn’t he supposed to attend dinner tonight? I know Alfred’s on vacation, so he can’t cook, but I made a good meal myself. There’s no reason for him not to attend. Cass, who is well aware Jason is currently seasoning and heating every dish Bruce made: he’s coming.