redheid

[redheid]

HARRIS DICKINSON as samuel in babygirl (2024)

[redheid]

ah squint against the dying light, sand crusts the tops of ma battered trainers - ah've been walkin aw day. ma nose wrinkles, not from the salt in the air, but from the vibe this lass is giving off—jagged, somethin unsteady. the words slouch oot of her, all half-arsed desperation.

— aye, ay say, well, join the queue. ah don't know where ma days lead nowadays, ah decide it's both good and bad. sometimes it means leaning intae anythin including talking to strangers on a piss-stained beach. — so whit is it then? ah fold ma arms ovir aw defensive. — you runnin from somethin or just takin this shite detour through hell?

★ @redheid … renton. ◜ OO4. the seaside , as the sun is setting . ◞

everything about me is cold and unbelievably ugly. there's a nauseating stickiness i'm unable to wash from the palms of my hands and it causes several wipes and a tug at my jeans to feel remotely comfortable in my skin. sweat trickles down into the crevices of my body, making my pits moist, sand accumulating at my ankles. i could easily remove my limbs from their sockets i'm so queasy. it could be the unpleasant puddle i laid my hand within at some on - the - corner pub moments ago. the sink i used at the gas station; no soap and lukewarm; muddy brown water. the five dollar frosted pastry i ate without napkins or utensils. or the aftermath of cheap beer coming to haunt me in the midst of my chest, crawling into my throat; focus camille.

the words etched on my forearms sting with every dubious step i take. closer and closer. ears stinging with the voice of this boy, or man, i can't tell. the hairs on the back of my neck, [the ones that fell from my lazy ponytail rather than the ones that grow from my skin] itch the back parts of my shirt. cheap as everything else that rings the last dollars of my wallet. a step, and another, and another, and a sigh falls heartily. an insecure attempt at gaining attention without using my words. i attempt a semblance sweetness i'm not used to. ❛❛ hey, kid. you. i need to speak with you. ❜❜

[redheid]

HARRIS DICKINSON as samuel in babygirl (2024)

[redheid]

i know i owe replies i know i owe replies im not swerving anyone i SWEAR

[redheid]

[redheid]

DANNY RYDER is a dull-witted slacker but despite his various faults, he is ultimately a good person. most other characters will either tolerate him as a person or will actively try to kill him. ﹒.﹒outself﹒⺌﹒

[redheid]

cunt isn’t even a bad word he is like a brother to me

[redheid]

I LIED OK I LIED

ill write tomorrow ill write tomorrow ill write tomorrow ill write tomorrow

[redheid]

ill write tomorrow ill write tomorrow ill write tomorrow ill write tomorrow

[redheid]

—— that’s what ah am, a coffin-dodger, and ma reflexes are not getting any better … but it’s all here, all within ma sweaty grasp. MARK 'RENTBOY' RENTON FROM THE TRAINSPOTTING SERIES. written by ciara #REDHEID

[redheid]

— YOU'RE NO FUCKIN HELP ... no fuckin help at aw. ah bow ma heid n give it a shake. mibbe ah blew up there a bit.

@v4vile ✟

[redheid]

today im watching: trainspotting, tomorrow im watching: trainspotting, yesterday i was watching trainspotting, last year i was watching: trainspotting, next year i will be watching: trainspotting, every day i am watching: trainspotting

[redheid]

EWAN McGREGOR as Mark Renton (Trainspotting, 1996)

[redheid]

— aye, sure, ah sais, totally unconvinced. it's easy tae be thit wey wi begbie. because it's begbie though, a mate, a scary fucker of a mate, ah give a convincing nod n look deep intae ma pint as ah bury ma face in it. lay low n let him move oan.

@shiftingmuse ✟

[redheid]

pile of crap gaga’s fit though

gonna go get dinner n watch the new joker heard its terrible literally cant wait

[redheid]

gonna go get dinner n watch the new joker heard its terrible literally cant wait

[redheid]

high school charlie: ah'm aghast but of course ken him the second he turns aroond. ah remember him well and somewhat friendly; the pair ay us were in an english class together. ah didnae have any mates in there (it was an advanced class n the likes ay mine weren't permitted through those doors due to their, ah'll say, subpar scholarly attitudes) and neither did he (though ah'm no sure he had any friends ootside the class if ah'm feelin particularly truthful). ah think ah clung tae him, if anythin. feelin oot ay place, ah remember being ready to cling tae just aboot anybody, but charlie wis clever. sensitive, too. nevir raise his hand but knew just whit tae say whenever he got picked oan wi a question aboot whitevir book we were reading thit week. ah remember thit.

— what, in ma room? ah blink a smile. now thit feels silly. then ah clarify, — our room? n move in closer. ah raise an eyebrow at him. — whit are the odds ay this, eh? roomies? ah cannae really tell how tae play this, currently weighing up the pros and cons of a roommate ah know compared tae some cunt ah don't n then the roommate in question being charlie. ah give a quick scan ay the room. ah remember him quiet. he seems the clean type. not one tae stick a nose in. ah come up quickly wi more positive than negatives and am forced to move on.

ah plant maself on the empty sheetless bed (fuck me, why'd ah think they'd provide bedding?) n hook ma foot in the dropped arm of ma backpack oan the floor and tug it towards maself. ah must look severely underprepared here. ma eyes shoot back up and look back at charlie. — yir family drop you off?

𝙰𝚄𝙶𝚄𝚂𝚃 𝟷𝟾𝚃𝙷 i'm sorry i've failed to write to you like i usually do. i've done well with this since freshman year. several full books, and many pens later. it's just, life has gotten very hectic since graduation. there's been a mess of papers to open, and papers to collect, and papers to put away. it got overwhelming. fast. i was afraid i had morphed into my old self again, my belly growing with anticipation before the big move - in day. it felt like the concoction of tenth grade weed and cheap booze fill my veins and i was once again laying face - first in the carpets of my old friend's place before christmas break. that said, i've been worried what i'd do without my parents and how'd i be on my own now all things considered. candace said to call whenever i needed and my dad promised he'd pick me up if things got too rough. and yet, i'm here, and i'm alone, and it already feels weir-

i haven't got much time to react before the door kicks open, someone's personal belongings sling to the floor in a formidable thump. my demeanor shifts from something of content to an embarrassing brew of nerves and panic. i tell myself it's less the presence of a person that does it, and more the noise that makes the pen fall gracelessly from my hand against the desk; my leg compulsively bouncing without my consent. ( of which it's been doing even before he showed up, i noticed a bit too late, but it brings me comfort, and i'll take all i can get until i'm sure nothing can go wrong this week. or the next ). ❛❛ ... ❜❜

words catch in my throat, creep on my tongue, until they clank against my teeth. knocking the taste of toothpaste and a stale bagel on my taste buds until i grow enough power to stand. it's frantic, causing the chair to stumble and scrap awkwardly, ugly, against the floor. i'm sure it left proof i've been here. ❛❛ mark ... ? mark ?! ❜❜ it doesn't feel real. it feels silly to assume. ❛❛ it's charlie. high school charlie. i didn't think you'd be here. ❜❜