reliablebearoftinysea

[reliablebearoftinysea]

얼굴 문제 아니라 성격 문제 미친녀

[reliablebearoftinysea]

It's 743pm I've taken four anarex in hopes I will not get through the night but I also know this is not going to take me home

Let's just listen to some music and dance the night away.

[reliablebearoftinysea]

Started taking sleeping pills so I don't think of him at night and spiral.

I just need to get use to him not here.

[reliablebearoftinysea]

I still wished we could've fought and I would've had the chance to apologise, for being impatient. For being immature.

[reliablebearoftinysea]

Fairytale

Don’t tell a hopeless romantic

That you love them they’ll believe you

And you’ll never shake them off of you

They’ll die believing they missed a chance

It’s not their fault

They believe in love so deeply

That your flirtatiousness is reality

To them, they’ve been waiting to die

For the right person, to come their way

It’s actually a sad way to live

Clinging onto every word as if it’s meaningful

Holding out hope that someone will love them just as wholly

Making every woman into a holy shrine and becoming a disciple

They’ll wish they could go back in time

And find you before they met anyone else

Just to be yours forever truly, soul mate, star crossed

Lover in bed and in life through thick and thin be yours till the very end

A friend and confidant forever through sickness and in health but don’t ever lie

Be with you but not own you

Not bind you but build their world

Around you wanting to kiss your sickness

But it wouldn’t just be a fairytale it would just feel that way

[reliablebearoftinysea]

To Ash

I'm glad we met. I'm happy to have known you. It is through you that I found me. I got to know more of me through you.

Now I know that I like it soft and slow and gentle. As you have been.

I will always wish it would have been you. But it was not in His takdir.

I love you still. I will continue to love you. Even from afar. Thank you for loving me the way you did , even if it was brief.

[reliablebearoftinysea]

Usually I get scary nightmares.

But I think Allah S.w.t knows how much I've been crying myself to sleep.

I had the funniest dream and woke up giggling😄😄

Alhamdulillah

[reliablebearoftinysea]

Tbf God shouldn't have made me so h0t all the fucking time if he wasn't gonna bless me with a soft spoken, kind man who'd praise me all the time.

[reliablebearoftinysea]

Two weeks no contact.

I wish I wasn't my father's daughter.

It's really over I guess...

I miss him :⁠'⁠(

[reliablebearoftinysea]

Lowkey... I envy the girls who can just cry when something goes wrong and know some one else is going to take care of the problem for them.

I never learnt, never knew that was an option.

Just cry till some one comes and fix your problem.

I would've died frozen I think.

[reliablebearoftinysea]

I ruin everything.

Is it really my fault

[reliablebearoftinysea]

I wish I don't cathastrophise the smallest unpleasant things in my life... Hnghhhh

[reliablebearoftinysea]

I wish I am the type to rant out when I'm feeling upset or stressed.

Instead I shut down, freeze and disappear into the void.

[reliablebearoftinysea]

When you are trying Ng the he more social. And you go out with a group of new people who still have hope and the sparkle in their eye. You try not to look at them condescendingly. You really want to be hopeful of life. But what you have been through, you know better. Atleast not for you.

Not for me..

Even the difference in our family dynamic.

I'm tired and I want to go home and sleep.

[reliablebearoftinysea]

A small aunty came up to me at the bus stop and handed me a kaya jar and asked me to help her open. 🥹

[reliablebearoftinysea]

And one day I started wondering what if we stood facing each other, would my face fit into the space between your neck and your shoulder?

[reliablebearoftinysea]