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staying up until 1am with your friends is like. wow we’re so fucking cool we’re so fucking badass we should go on a road trip or become famous or maybe hang out here forever because i dont wanna be anywhere that isnt with you guys im so full of love and joy and a live fast die young mentality. and staying up until 1am by yourself is like. for the third time this year i am genuinely contemplating suicide. good thing i dont have the executive function to clean up my room

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kids deserve so much more respect and it turns out that saying that is a great way to locate the horrible people in any community <3

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i have this unrealistic fantasy in my head where if you calmly and logically explain something to someone perfectly they will understand your position and gain knowledge from the exchange. unfortunately in the real world this does not happen often

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presented without commentary or apology

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Fantasy idea: The reason why elves always sound so eloquent and poetic is because they only learn human languages from classic human poems and literature - they are aware that the language in them is very quickly outdated, but it's still easier to maintain and keep up than trying to learn new human vernacular every single new century. They don't talk like that in elvish. Going like

"If all came to pass as my eyes see and my heart pieces it together, it was wolves who tore our camp asunder. At the darkest hour, in the shelter of the night and emboldened by the shadows and our unguarded, defenseless sleep, they emerged from the woods like gaunt thieves to seek whatever they could take."

[another elf, in elvish] "What did you say?"

"Wolves. Them fucking varmints ripped up our shit."

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elon musk admitted under threat of perjury that this is his burner account

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sharks every time theres a cataclysmic extinction event: damn thats crazy. anyway

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According to old finnish folklore, having a wild animal wander into your house is an omen of death. The bigger the animal, the more imminent the death. A small bird, like a sparrow or a finch, is a sign that someone who lives in the house will die within the year. If the animal that has somehow made its way inside the house is a small mammal like a hedgehog, or a larger bird like an owl or raven, would mean that death is coming to visit in the next few months.

Massive megafauna, like a fully-grown moose or a bear, is a sign that someone will probably die within the next 20 minutes.

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If it ain't broke, Trump'll break it. #immigration

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for me internet friendships are “we don’t talk all the time but I see you’re online and it makes me happy” and I really hope it’s like that for everyone

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Sometimes the rats in my brain come together and start yelling “YEARNING” and in trying to appease them I ask “FOR WHAT” but they are too small so all they can say is “YEARNING” which is a very big word for such a tiny creature, even collectively

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ideal living situation is what i call the 'sitcom special' : having all your closest friends live in the same apartment building or neighborhood where you each have your own space but can wander in and out of eachothers homes at will, seemingly always welcome and never at bad times. and also all of you only have jobs when its important to the plot.

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big fan of when businesses have signs that preemptively thank you for following a rule. "thank you for respecting our staff" "thank you for not smoking in the bus station." etc. its a passive aggressive power move and it works on me every time. i mean i wasn't even PLANNING on direspecting the staff but now i'm extra not gonna. they thanked me already. i've been checkmated.