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I think my main complaint about porn addiction is that it isn't really clear to me that it's porn that causes the compulsive behavior as it is that it's porn with the form factor of "engagement driven internet application."

The reason this matters is because if we go and ban porn or something and it turns out it was actually the novelty driven dopamine loop of the app, well then all of those supposed porn "addicts" will just go and do something else because the actual source of their compulsive behavior, engagement driven applications, are still abundantly available and may even be impossible to get rid of.

So many of the debates about whether porn/internet/gambling/gaming addiction is a real thing are actually debates about how broad or narrow the definition of the word "addiction" should be.

I think there's a good case to be made for reserving the word "addiction" for substances that create a physical dependence that results in debilitating physical symptoms if you stop cold turkey, and not using it to refer to "habits or compulsions that can mess up your life if they get out of hand."

But the debates always follow this predictable path where someone says "internet addiction isn't real" and someone else will start talking about their experiences because they feel like their struggle is being invalidated, and both parties keep talking past each other.

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One of the more blackpilling things about tumblr discourse was when I realized how much of it was young white women, shaming young white women about being attracted to young white men and unironically thinking that was a political stance.

young seth mcfarlane is doing something to me…

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Porn "addiction" is like being a "chocoholic."

Anyway i think it’s actually kinda important for people to be aware that there is a difference between an “addiction” and a “compulsion” bc it’s not just semantics since those are things that are treated very differently.

If a person has a compulsion where they chug bottles of cooking oil you don’t help them by taking a framework meant for substance addiction and subbing in cooking oil in place of alcohol or drugs or whatever.

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If Pikachu were real, it would not be a very pleasant animal. An enormous mouse that shocks you like an electric eel. I would run from these beasts

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Consider, perhaps, that the mere act of formalizing the feeling of grief into narrative at all is a form of romanticization and the idea that a writer can escape romanticizing the thing is a hubristic denial of the limits of the medium.

Writing Grief Without Romanticizing It

Grief is raw, messy, and deeply personal. It doesn’t follow a neat arc or fit into tidy narrative beats. While stories often use grief as a dramatic device, romanticizing it can cheapen the emotional reality. Writing grief authentically means embracing its discomfort and unpredictability, not sanitizing or idealizing it. 

What Romanticizing Grief Looks Like

Characters who seem emotionally wrecked but always manage to look graceful in their suffering.

Overly articulate monologues that sound more like a eulogy than a real moment of loss.

Depictions of grief as a singular, cathartic event instead of a long, jagged process.

Romanticized Grief:

“Every day without you is like a piece of me fading away into a tragic, beautiful void. I’ll carry this pain forever, for it’s all I have left of you.”

This might be poetic, but it lacks the authenticity of how most people actually process grief.

Realistic Grief:

“I forgot your birthday. I didn’t mean to, but when I remembered, it was already too late. And then I hated myself because forgetting felt like erasing you.”

Writing Grief Authentically

1. Show the Physical Toll

Grief isn’t just emotional—it’s physical. Insomnia, headaches, exhaustion, or even the inability to move can be part of the experience.

“She woke up in the middle of the night again, choking on the air. Her chest felt like a cinderblock had been wedged inside, heavy and unmoving. It was three days since the funeral, and she still hadn’t slept longer than an hour.”

2. Let Grief Be Messy

Grief isn’t a perfectly linear journey. There’s no logical progression from denial to acceptance—there are setbacks, breakdowns, and even moments of denial long after healing has started.

“He yelled at his mother for throwing out the cereal box. ‘It was his favorite,’ he said. She didn’t remind him that it had been expired for months. She just handed him the trash bag and walked away.”

3. Avoid Glossy Sentimentality

Sometimes grief isn’t poetic; it’s ugly, blunt, and devoid of grandeur. Characters might lash out, shut down, or isolate themselves.

Romanticized: “I’ll cry every day, but I’ll keep going because you’d want me to.”

Realistic: “They said time would heal it. But it didn’t. Time just put more space between me and the life I knew before.”

4. Let Grief Manifest in Small, Unexpected Ways

Grief isn’t always about sobbing—it can show up in mundane moments: hesitating to delete a voicemail, holding onto an old sweater, or instinctively setting the table for someone who’s gone.

“She turned to tell him the joke, the one about the broken lamp, and stopped halfway through. The silence hit harder than the punchline ever would.”

5. Highlight the Absurdity of It

Grief can be absurd and disorienting. Characters might laugh inappropriately, obsess over trivial details, or feel disconnected from reality.

“At the funeral, all she could focus on was how crooked the flowers were arranged. She kept wanting to fix them. If she didn’t, she thought, none of this would feel real.”

6. Explore How Grief Changes Relationships

Grief doesn’t happen in isolation—it affects relationships, often in unexpected ways. Some people pull closer, others drift apart.

“Her friends stopped asking how she was doing after the first few weeks. She didn’t blame them; she didn’t have an answer. ‘Fine’ wasn’t a lie—it was just easier than saying, ‘I still can’t breathe when I see his empty chair.’”

7. Show the Longevity of Grief

Grief doesn’t end when the funeral does. Let it linger in your story, showing how it ebbs and flows over time.

“It had been five years, but she still called his number when something exciting happened. She didn’t know why. Maybe it was just habit. Or maybe it was hope.”

8. Allow for Moments of Respite

Grief isn’t constant agony. People still laugh, find joy, and go about their lives—sometimes feeling guilty for it.

“She smiled for the first time in weeks, and then immediately hated herself for it. It felt like betrayal, like forgetting.”

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Even this is a kinda stupid take though because it's hardly just conservatives who abuse these ideas. Ultimately, these are just highly digestible facts that let dull, boorish people prop up their own arrogance about the degree to which they understand the world.

y'all know that whole left-brained/right-brained thing is fake right? and the "brain fully develops at age 25" thing? and the "we only use 10% of our brains" thing? yeah they're all complete horseshit please yell at anyone who says them

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tumblr media criticism

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Do I have to do everything myself around here?

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golden land

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Art Club week 2: Fairy Bard!

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Door B no matter where I am. I need to high five the bus driver and tell him "good driving, bus guy!"

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He forgot leg day

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It actually makes the entire idea of Orientalism as Said describes it make more sense to learn that he is a neurotic nepo baby. A mind with actual, material problems simply cannot come up with something so perversely all encompassing but completely useless.

You’re telling me for decades Edward Said claimed to grow up in Palestine when he actually grew up in the richest neighborhood in Cairo?

And the pro-coexistence Jewish philosopher Said publicly accused of stealing “his” house after 1948 just rented the basement from Said’s uncle before Said’s aunt had the guy & his family evicted in 1942?

What a fucking grifter.

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A raindrop falling in Erie Co. PA will travel 2,147 miles to the Gulf of Mexico rather than 15 miles to Lake Erie.

by u/LexFloruss

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Balmarino Barnamy, scotch terrier, 1930

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thinking about how my old university's automatic email generation gave my friend Andy Ryan the email address ARYAN88

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If at least thirty young artists don't have their careers ended due to horrific RSI, then Miyazaki won't be able to achieve erection and all art depends upon the erotic drive. Plato said that. Or maybe Nietzsche or Paglia. One of them did, I think.

it's really fucked up that because of the AI Hayao Miyazaki won't be able to sit down and animate all those movies anymore, because the machine will do it and give all the credit for his singular hard work to some guy at the top who didn't even animate anything