resolvedbrunette

[resolvedbrunette]

Please pray that I make it safely. Pray however you wish but I’m going to need it.

[resolvedbrunette]

how to know you are a painter:

taking "only the essentials" with you when moving

taking three paintings that are awkward but it's worth it to have them

[resolvedbrunette]

also hey internet folks, if you see this/my blog and you feel led to offer advice, i'm more than willing to listen til wednesday, since on from then i'll be entirely making my own decision.

[resolvedbrunette]

Yeah, while I don't want to leave and upset the life I've built, it's also not really mine. It's a life I curated to satisfy people who raised me and didn't get themselves together before they had me. So while I do not want to leave for my comfort, I cannot stay for my peace of mind.

[resolvedbrunette]

Tomorrow I am cleaning and cleansing my room. I will sleep well tonight so that tomorrow I can rise and accomplish what is set before me.

[resolvedbrunette]

this is a draft.

[resolvedbrunette]

Concrete plan in place to leave. About to write letters of notification to close folks.

I am still not 100% sure on my decision, but I am prepared to leave, and I will sleep on it for at least one night before doing so.

[resolvedbrunette]

I’m reaching my absolute breaking point between finances, school, work, family, my friends, and my lover.

I am contemplating the meaning of liberty. I am trapped by overbearing parents and contracts and transcripts and a degree I care nothing about. I am at work fighting against breaking down into tears and quitting immediately. My head feels like it’s going to explode at any given moment. I cannot continue to live this way.

I am tired in my body and my soul. I wake up exhausted and separated by 400 miles from a part of my spirit that is the only person aside from God who is there without fail, every day, in every situation.

I wish I was being dramatic. I truly, truly wish I was overreacting, but I am not.

[resolvedbrunette]

things are not looking good for me to try and get into a class that's required for my degree and is holding up my graduation schedule. my backup plan is not optimal. well it's optimal for me personally. for the rest of my life? it would explode.

[resolvedbrunette]

this woman is still fucking talking about a man i've not been with for almost two years now fuck off

[resolvedbrunette]

js ate a bigass plate of spaghetti and meatballs, finna crash in this bed have a fire ass nap & gone bout the rest of my day

[resolvedbrunette]

also to add, i could see if it was something hateful i shared that needed to be immediately checked/course-corrected, i'm all for checking in with your people to make sure that they're not goin off the deep end but that was not what i was sharing lmao.

[resolvedbrunette]

honestly, probably a shit take here, but I feel annoyed that it seems that some people don't ever take time to clock out from using their logical brain to analyze everything ever. sometimes the curtains are just fucking blue. sometimes you just need a hopeful report to get you to the next day where you can use logistics and mobilize. jesus christ. if i send somebody something political at nine PM i'm not expecting a dissertation on the ways it's probably not true, leave me the hell alone, i'm trying to bring good news of some kind but no, go ahead, send me a bunch of weird fucking posts that have about zero to do with real life or enhancing your personal experience of the world, go ahead and send me more slop, i fuckign love it and will mindlessly consume all the content you send my way (sarcasm)

[resolvedbrunette]

God I love how words for cat are often just the noise they make at humans. In Chinese, it's māo. freakin awesome

[resolvedbrunette]

Side note, with all this writing, I'm sitting on the couch so much with my legs in that 4-ass lookin position, and last night when I got into bed my hip joint legitimately hurt (probably 3-4 for me)

But there's no comfortable way to sit, otherwise. I might have to just sit at the table and be like "yeah gang I have to sit here or otherwise I'm getting hip pain that ISNT sciatica"

[resolvedbrunette]

If y'aine'en writin on the clock between customers and tasks whatchu doin