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I'm begging you to turn the sound on

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Stephen Miller is an unelected sledgehamner of human rights crimes. True evil.

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this is for you anon

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When I was a kid I kept failing classes because I'd lose my homework. I'd finish it, but between the dining room table and the classroom it would just walk away. Sometimes it ended up in my backpack, sometimes it didn't; sometimes I finished the homework at school and it got home in my backpack but wasn't there the next day.

To attempt to address this, my parents got me a neon orange folder to put in my backpack; it was my homework folder, all homework was to go into that folder and that folder only, and it was to only come out of that folder when it was being worked on. I was to put homework in the homework folder as soon as it was assigned and if I'd worked on it, put it back in the folder as soon as it was finished. The logic here was that using the folder was supposed to be automatic, and you wanted a bright color so it wouldn't get lost in the depths of a backpack.

I think I lost about eight of those before my parents stopped buying orange folders.

So it was very frustrating to search "how to be organized at work as an adult with ADHD" only to get a list that said "set alarms and write things down and try to make friends with a more organized person" which was immediately followed by tips to help your ADHD child stay organized and the one right at the top was to put their homework in a bright folder so they couldn't lose it.

If you have been harmed by the ADHD Tips Industrial Complex you may be entitled to a packet of fun-dip and a cactus cooler as consolation for losing your homework folder again.

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why are you microwaving carbonated drinks that feels wrong.

IDK, most people hate it, but I'm also the person that purposely lets coke go flat because I like it better flat so me and carbonated drinks have a weird relationship.

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OOHHH FUUBLBLBLBLB

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You were born with the unique power to see the most interesting "stat" of a person floating over their head. For most, it's stuff like "TIMES WON GAMES OF POKER: 43," or "PROMISES BROKEN: 105." Today, you glance up at someone sitting nearby to see "EXTRATERRESTRIALS KILLED: 27."

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Being 30 is fun. I was discussing anime with a teen at work and asked her how much of bnha she had watched. She had trouble answering and wasn't sure how to approach it. I said "better question was who was your husbando" and she turned bright red before mumbling an answer. They never expect me to know how deep their love of anime boys runs....

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Hey, I can’t seem to find this one video, so I figured I’d resurrect my old tumblr account. Anybody here remember that old video clip of two guys arguing? One of them was like I’m a not a twink, I’m a *twunk* and the other does the gay gasp /clutch pearls noise. It’s a couple minutes long, had plenty more besides that one exchange. Might have been clipped out from an actual gay porn video. One of them angrily says “I did it… for us.” towards the end of the video. He may have had a laptop since he was uploading their sex videos? I think the argument may have actually been over the guy photoshopping their dicks to be bigger.

It’s super dramatic and campy and over the top and I can’t seem to find it no matter what or where I search.

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CLEAR SKIN IS SO ATTRACTIVE I’D CHOP A TOE OFF FOR CLEAR SKIN FOREVER

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An “I can see when people will die displayed above their heads” story but it is not the time of their death. It’s the order.

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mutual just posted "ok i'm normal now". objective: survive their reverse-chronological dashboard breakdown (wave 1 of 30)

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alright folks, who's your weird regular? we have "snake guy" who always has a snake crawling on his arm (i've posted pics of it on here before)

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“Are you the witch who turned eleven princes into swans?”

The old woman stared at the figure on the front step of her cottage and considered her options. It was the kind of question usually backed up by a mob with meaningful torches, and it was the kind of question she tried to avoid.

Coming from a single dusty, tired housewife, it should’ve held no terrors.

“You a cop?”

The housewife twisted the hem of her apron. “No,” she muttered. “I’m a swan.”

A raven croaked somewhere in the woods. Wind whispered in the autumn leaves.

Then: “I think I can guess,” the old woman said slowly. “Husband stole your swan skin and forced you to marry him?”

A nod.

“And you can’t turn back into a swan until you find your skin again.”

A nod.

“But I reckon he’s hidden it, or burned it, or keeps it locked up so you can’t touch it.”

A tiny, miserable nod.

“And then you hear that old Granny Rothbart who lives out in the woods is really a batty old witch whose father taught her how to turn princes into swans,” the old woman sighed. “And you think, ‘Hey, stuff the old skin, I can just turn into a swan again this way.’

“But even if that was true – which I haven’t said if it is or if it isn’t – I’d say that I can only do it to make people miserable. I’m an awful person. I can’t do it out of the goodness of my heart. I have no goodness. I can’t use magic to make you feel better. I only wish I could.”

Another pause. “If I was a witch,” she added.

The housewife chewed the inside of her cheek. Then she drew herself up and, for the first time, looked the old woman in the eyes.

“Can you do it to make my husband miserable?”

The old woman considered her options. Then she pulled the wand out from the umbrella stand by the door. It was long, and silver, and a tiny glass swan with open wings stood perched on the tip.

“I can work with that,” said the witch.

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ok so i do have adhd but i feel as though this somehow transcends it. I just made a cup of tea 10 minutes ago. Im in a very small room. It has disappeared. I didnt leave the room. It just escaped. It is gone. It never was. Wheres my tea. It couldnt have gone anywhere and yet it has. Did i drink it and eat the cup and forget? Where is my tea. I miss her. This is fucked