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rhettabbotts · 11 days ago

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all yours, always | ben mears

description: in which two lovers experience the aftermath of nearly losing each other

warnings: 18+ only, angst, mentions of death and violence, tender and loving smut, unprotected p in v sex, shower sex

w/c: 6k

notes: i have had terrible writer's block for weeks, and haven't finished a fic in even longer. i wrote this one as a way to stretch my writing muscles and remind myself that i can, in fact, still create (i thought i lost the ability to do so, lol). it's short and to the point because that is all my tired brain could manage. hope y'all enjoy.

His hands were still shaking.

It was a deep, unsettling sort of tremor, vibrating through his nervous system, buzzing like electricity. But his body was exhausted, and the adrenaline had finally begun to wane, leaving him feeling drained and empty. A shell of the man he once was before the events of the Lot.

He’d been driving for over an hour. Knuckles white as he clutched the steering wheel. Obsessively, he glanced in the side and rearview mirrors every few seconds, knowing that realistically, no one was following him. Yet, he couldn’t help but check again and again, terrified that evil was still lurking somewhere out there.

He wasn’t just worried about his own well-being any longer. He was now responsible for two other precious souls, who were, for the time being, safe and sound within the confines of the car.

Behind him, settled into the backseat, was a boy he hardly knew, yet found himself the sole guardian for. Mark, surprisingly, had managed to fall asleep. The poor boy had been through the unimaginable in just a few short days, and had barely slept. Pure exhaustion had pulled him down into the depths of slumber. Ben let him sleep. He knew that when the inevitable nightmares began, Mark wouldn’t be getting much rest for the time being.

And then, there was you. Settled into the passenger’s seat beside him, knees pulled up toward your chest as you gazed out the window at the dark, passing landscape. You were quiet. Had been for the last thirty minutes. Ben’s heart ached for you. He regretted bringing you to Jerusalem’s Lot altogether. What had started as an innocent trip to show you the place where he’d spent part of his childhood, quickly turned into a living hell.

He should have known coming back to that place would only bring trouble. But the Lot was an important part of his childhood, albeit traumatizing as it was. He wanted you to know about his past. There were things he believed that you deserved to know, as his wife.

But bringing you to that cursed place had nearly resulted in him losing you forever. And as he glanced at you, in the quiet stillness of that car, he realized how fortunate he was that you were still here, beside him. Bruised, bloodied, but alive.

And in that moment, he was struck with a wave of emotion so intense, tears sprang to his eyes. He took one of his trembling hands, and placed it upon your knee. He didn’t speak, because words were not something that came easy then. But you didn’t need words. All you needed was that quiet, gentle reassurance.

You placed your own hand over his own, offering a gentle squeeze. As your eyes drifted to his face, you could see how tired he truly was. Shadows lurked beneath his eyes. His cheeks were gaunt. Cuts and scrapes littered his face. But he was here, with you.

He didn’t have to tell you he was blaming himself for you to know that was what he was doing. You longed to reassure him that you didn’t blame him for what had happened. Yet, when you opened your mouth, your throat tightened with emotion, and you could not utter the words that were on your heart. So you said nothing, and yet, the silence said it all.

This wasn’t how you envisioned your life as newlyweds. Never in a million years could you have predicted that you would encounter a horde of evil vampires, hellbent on draining the blood out of every living being in their path. Never could you have imagined that you would spend countless hours surrounded by death.

Everyone you’d grown fond of in the short time you were in ‘Salem’s Lot was now dead, aside from Mark. And although you knew that you should be experiencing grief over it, all you felt was numb. It didn’t feel real yet. Would it ever feel real?

And most importantly, where would you go from here? Could you even go back to normal life after this?

“Where are we going, Ben?” When you spoke, you hardly recognized your own voice. It was hoarse from screaming. The primal wail you’d let out the moment you thought you were going to lose Ben had done some harm to your vocal cords, it seemed.

He shook his head. “I don’t know. Far away from the Lot as we can get. Well stop off at a motel somewhere. Just wanna drive a couple more hours. Make sure we stop at a safe place.” His tone was weary, as if it took every ounce of energy he had to muster a response.

With a heavy heart, you glanced back at Mark, who still slept soundly. He looks peaceful. The way a child should look. Gone was the determined furrow of his brow and the face of bravery he put on. He had no family left in the world. You and Ben were all he had.

“He’s with us now,” Ben softly stated. He didn’t need to elaborate. There was no question of what to do. Mark was part of your family now. You would care for him as if he was your own child.

There was so much you needed to figure out. But for the time being, all you could do was take it one step at a time. And right now, the next step was finding a safe place to sleep.

You weren’t sure how much longer Ben could drive like this. It was dark, and he was bone tired.

“Next motel we see, we’re stopping. We need to rest,” you murmured, reaching over to run your fingers through the tangled curls at the nape of his neck.

His lashes fluttered as your fingers brushed his skin. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to rest again.”

You felt the same.

Nonetheless, the next neon sign advertising a cheap motel soon drew you into a sparsely populated parking lot, and a set of motel rooms that were certainly not The Ritz, but they were better than nothing. Ben parked outside the front office, leaned across the console to kiss you, and pressed something into your hand before he climbed out of the car to secure a room.

A crucifix.

Your fingers closed around the small cross, thumb tracing the smoothness. You silently prayed that you would never have to use it again.

Three minutes later, Ben emerged from the office, room key in hand, and approached the car, easing your door open as he leaned down to speak softly. “Got us a room. You ready to head inside?”

“Yeah.”

He took your hand, gently guiding you to your feet. There was something unspoken in the air between you. It was in his lingering gaze, and the way he hesitated. He longed to pull you close, to hold you for hours. However, he couldn’t. Not yet. He needed to make sure you and Mark were settled. Needed to make sure you were safe.

So he settled for kissing you on the forehead, before he ducked into the back of the car to gather the boy in his arms. He handed you the room key before he reached out, carefully pulling Mark into his arms, trying not to wake him in the process. The boy stirred, but remained asleep, much to Ben’s relief.

You retrieved yours and Ben’s duffel bags from the trunk, each weighing heavily upon your shoulders as you made the quick walk across the parking lot to room one twelve. The door shut softly behind you while Ben ever so carefully placed Mark in one of the beds, taking the time to take his shoes off and tuck him in.

Your hands were quick to deadbolt the door, and shove the nearby desk chair beneath the knob, ensuring it was secure. Of course, you weren’t foolish. If anything evil had followed you from the Lot, a deadbolt and a chair wouldn’t stop it. But even so, it gave you peace of mind.

From across the room, Ben looked at you. His eyes were haunted. The mirth that had been there mere days ago was gone. Life had been so simple when you set out to visit ‘Salem’s Lot. You’d gone to the justice of the peace to get married just a few days before the trip. You were full of hope, your entire future together ahead of you.

You’d never imagined, in your wildest nightmares, that you would be running a stake through a vampire’s heart just to save your husband’s life. The image of Barlow closing in on him still haunted your mind. His fangs had been inches from Ben’s neck. If you’d been a second too late, he would have been dead. Drained of his lifeblood.

A deep, rattling breath passed through Ben’s chest, emotion clouding his face. “I…I guess I should wash all this blood off.” He glanced down at himself, finally realizing what a mess he was. Blood had seeped into the fabric of his denim jacket. You made a mental note to buy some peroxide and see if you could get the stain out without ruining the integrity of the denim.

“Yeah…yeah. That’s a good idea,” came your response, mouth loose around the syllables. It felt strange to pretend everything was normal, when it was not. Nothing would ever be normal again.

Ben made no move to head to the shower. He swayed slightly in his spot, clearly wanting to say something more. The words wouldn’t come. Such meager things they were, as it was. Nothing could soothe the pain you were both enduring.

“Will you be alright without me for a few minutes?” He hesitated to leave you alone, despite the fact that you would only be separated by a wall. You had spent every waking moment together in the Lot, not willing to let the other out of your sight, terrified of losing each other. Now, Ben didn’t like the thought of not being able to see you, even if it was only for five minutes.

He’d learned how quickly bad things could happen. How, in the blink of an eye, everything and everyone he held dear could be taken from him.

You held up the crucifix he’d given you in the car. “I’ll be okay. Promise.”

Somberly, he nodded, and finally turned on his heel, limping slightly as he headed into the bathroom, gently pushing the door shut behind him.

A hush fell over the room, and your eyes drifted over to Mark, who still slept, undisturbed. Silently, you wondered if you would be able to sleep that night. While you were deeply tired, you doubted you would find rest. In fact, you doubted you would ever have peaceful sleep again. It would always be fitful. Even in slumber, you would be hyper aware of your surroundings, disturbed by every sound, every movement.

Even the silence unnerved you, and you were grateful for the sound of rattling pipes and the steady stream of water as Ben turned on the shower. It filled the deafening silence with something so mundane, yet comforting.

A sigh escaped your lips as your feet moved across the old carpet, orange in color, tacky as could be. There was a heaviness in your shoulders, the weight of grief, fear, and pain almost too overwhelming to bear.

But there was something that could help ease that burden. As your eyes drifted to the edge of the second bed, you realized Ben had forgotten to grab his pajamas and toiletries. Glad to have a distraction, you were quick to rifle around in the bag, retrieving everything he’d need before you padded across the floor, sparing one last glance at Mark before you moved toward the bathroom.

Three soft taps at the door, and a murmur of, “It’s me,” alerted your husband that you were coming in.

Steam had begun to cloud the room, but Ben wasn’t in the shower yet. In fact, he was still fully clothed, sitting upon the edge of the bathtub, shoulders drawn in, eyes fixed upon the tile floor. You had never thought of him as small. He was broad, and deceptively strong for a man who chose writing as a career. And yet, he did look small, buckled beneath the weight of all he had endured.

When his eyes met yours, your heart ached, and you were moving without another moment of hesitation. The duffel bag was placed on the counter before you kicked your shoes off, already coming to stand before him.

Hands gentle, you lifted his face toward you, thumbs brushing over his cheeks, careful not to touch the cut on his cheekbone. “My love,” you whispered.

His bottom lip quivered. “I…I can’t do it by myself.” He hated how weak his own voice sounded.

That broke you, anguish washing over you in waves so strong, it stole the breath from your lungs. “You don’t have to do it alone. I’m right here with you.” Your hand wandered as you ran your fingers through his hair, but you were quickly met with resistance from the tangles in his curls. “Let’s get these tangles out first, that way your hair’s easier to wash.”

As you rummaged through his bag for a comb, Ben watched you through heavy lidded eyes, a strange feeling settling into his chest. What should have been normal seemed so foreign now. How was one meant to do things like take a shower, comb their hair, and brush their teeth, after experiencing something so deeply harrowing, they couldn’t even speak of it without being plagued with a violent sense of terror?

And here you were, choosing to lovingly care for him, despite all you’d suffered. It grieved Ben deeply, because you shouldn’t have gone through any of it.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, as you helped him ease out of his jacket.

“For what?” Came your reply as you draped the jacket across the doorknob, already moving to grab the comb and tend to his hair after the fact.

“I shouldn’t have brought you to the Lot. If we’d just gone on a normal honeymoon, like you wanted, none of this would have happened.”

“Hey now,” you softly chided as you held the comb under the stream pelting from the shower head, “I wanted to go. Remember what I told you? How I’d go anywhere, as long as it was with you? I meant every word. I’d follow you to the end of the earth.”

His eyes drifted shut as emotion washed over him. “And I almost did lead you to the end of the earth. That’s not what I wanted for you. I never wanted any harm to come to you. I never wanted to see fear in your eyes.” But that was what he’d seen. Raw, bone deep fear that made his stomach turn.

It had awakened a realization within himself. The knowledge that there were things in this world– evil, ancient things –that he could not protect you from.

“I know that, Ben. But I’m okay. Really, I am. We’re alive, we’re not in the Lot anymore, and that’s what matters.” Your hands were gentle as you began running the damp comb through his tangled curls, careful not to pull too hard.

The tenderness was overwhelming for him. Hands that had fought for him now caressed his scalp with love and care.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Your hands went still, silence following for only a moment before you tilted his face toward you. “Don’t you dare say that. You are the kindest, gentlest, most wonderful man I have ever met. I’m proud to be your wife. Even more so now that I’ve seen you run into the face of danger to protect the people you care about.”

He couldn’t speak, lest he begin to weep. So he simply turned his head to kiss the inside of your wrist, lingering there for a moment, grounding himself. For the next several moments, no other words were spoken. You finished combing through his curls, and once they were smooth and free of tangles, you nodded in satisfaction, tossing the comb onto the counter with ease.

“All finished. Let’s get all this blood washed off, yeah?” Your tone was soft and even as you motioned for Ben to stand. Beneath your feet, the tile was cool, and you welcomed the chill as you moved across the small space. It kept you present and focused on the task at hand.

Ben’s Henley was the first to go, crimson stained fabric fluttering to the floor as you helped him ease out of the shirt. A low hiss left his mouth as he moved, and once his shirt was gone, you understood why. Bruising littered his torso and shoulders. He would be sore for days, that much you were certain of.

“Oh, honey,” you whispered, fingers ghosting over some of the bruising, wishing you could ease his pain.

“I’m alright.”

Your response was a soft kiss left against his sternum before your hands carried on downward, fingers quick to unbuckle his belt. The atmosphere shifted was you reverently undressed your husband. There was nothing sensual. It was pure intimacy.

Ben watched you, eyes hooded as he admired your devotion to him. When he was bare, clothes discarded, he reached for you, ducking forward to kiss you languidly as his fingers tugged at the hem of your shirt.

“Want me to join you?” You spoke against his mouth.

“Please.” A single word, yet it held so much weight.

With as much care as you had shown him, he undressed you. As he knelt to tug your jeans down, he gazed up at you, adoration written over his tired features. He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to your abdomen as he rid you of your jeans and underwear.

Warmth spread through you at the contact, a comforting hum buzzing through your veins. Affectionate moments had been few and far between lately, because you were much too busy trying to survive. But here and now, in the bathroom of some rundown motel in the middle of nowhere, you found each other again.

The heat of the shower engulfed you as you stepped beneath the stream, your hand intertwined with Ben’s as you led him in after you. For a motel bathtub, it was surprisingly spacious, and the two of you had plenty of room to stand apart. However, you found yourselves drawn to one another by an invisible gravitational pull.

As water cascaded over your bare skin, Ben’s lips found yours, kissing you in a way that could only be described as worship.

You melted into each other, two becoming one.

“Oh, god,” Ben whispered against your mouth. “I…” He trailed off, uncertainty clouding his features. He wasn’t sure what he was trying to say. All he knew was that your body was pressed to his, and he was suddenly overcome with a need so intense, it nearly brought him to his knees.

It wasn’t depraved in nature. No, it stemmed from a natural desire to be close to you. To hold you in his arms, skin to skin, and assure himself that you were okay. You were alive. Skin and bones and muscle and sinew, a heart and lungs and a beautiful, intelligent brain.

Standing beneath the water, you held each other, your head pressed to his chest, right over his heart. Days’ worth of dirt, grime, and dried blood were cleansed away, and along with it, you allowed yourselves to pretend that just for now, everything was okay.

You parted only to retrieve the tiny bottle of complimentary body wash provided by the motel, which sat upon the ledge of the tub. With utmost care, you worked the soap into your husband’s skin, careful not to apply pressure to any bruised areas as you washed his body.

His eyes drifted shut as he reveled in the feeling of your hands upon his body. The tension he’d been carrying for days began to melt away, not leaving entirely, but offering enough reprieve for his shoulders to begin to relax, and his breathing to even out.

Oh, how he’d taken it all for granted before. The ability to do something as simple as showering together was now something to be cherished. He was present for every last second of it, never wanting to forget how it felt to be touched by you.

Life was precious. And it could end in a heartbeat. He would never take a single second with you for granted again.

“I think I’m going to need you to kneel so I can wash your hair properly,” your quiet voice pulled him from his reverie, and his eyes fluttered open to find you looking into his face, your expression open and kind.

“Okay.” So he knelt for you, lowering himself to the floor of the bathtub, head tilted back, vulnerable, yet safer than he’d been in days.

The shine of adoration and unadulterated love in your eyes was a beautiful sight, and he felt as if he was basking beneath the glow of the warm sun.

When your hands touched his scalp, he leaned into you, giving you complete freedom to work the shampoo through his curls. While the experience of you washing his body had been intimate, it didn’t compare to this.

Looking up at you as you took care of him broke him wide open, his chest aching as if someone had pried his ribs apart and forcibly yanked his heart out. He fell apart then. Hot tears slid down his cheeks, mixing with the water from the shower.

“I…I need you closer.” He tugged you toward him, and you gasped softly as your knees buckled, sending you right into his lap, your thighs bracketing his own.

“Ben—”

His lips found yours, arms sliding around your torso, holding you close, chest to chest. “Please, I—I can’t—”

With your forehead pressed against his own, your hands came up to cup his cheeks. A deep, longing ache, more intense than anything you had ever felt in your entire life, rippled through you. A sob bounced off the walls of the shower, and you realized the sound had come from you.

Mouth open against his own, you let yourself be engulfed by his warmth, his skin slick and bare against your own. You moved by instinct alone, two lost souls desperate to find each other again, knit together by the fabric of the universe.

“I need to be inside you,” he breathed, voice wrecked, body trembling. “Please, tell me you want that too.”

It took everything within yourself to muster a reply. “Yes, I-I need you, Ben.” It wasn’t about chasing release. It wasn’t even about pleasure at all. It was about being connected after nearly losing each other. It was about soothing the parts of your souls that were raw and ragged and torn to shreds.

It was about becoming one.

Water still rushing down around you, you surged forward, arms thrown around his neck as you kissed him deeply, tasting, consuming. His hand ghosted over your hip, between your thighs, fingers careful as he tenderly parted you, working the digits inside.

You gasped, whimpering brokenly as he oh so gently opened you up, coaxing your slick from you so he would be able to slip inside you without causing you pain. Your body responded in kind, eager to let its guard down and be cherished.

Skin to skin, heart to heart, you allowed yourself to sink down onto him, gasping softly at the stretch of being filled. There was no hurriedness to your movements. You lowered slowly, until your hips were flush with his.

A broken sound, a cross between a whimper and a sigh, pulled itself from his throat, lashes fluttering as he grew accustomed to the feeling of your warmth wrapped around him. It hit him all at once, like a blow to the chest. “Oh, god,” he croaked, bottom lip quivering, the deep blue of his eyes clouded with tears.

Arms around his shoulders, you settled into him, needing to feel every inch of his body against you, grounding you, reminding you that this was real, and not a dream. Forehead pressed to his, a soft sob escaped your parted lips, and it all came rushing forth.

“I…I thought…” You couldn’t speak. Couldn’t utter the words that needed to be spoken. But you forced yourself to swallow the emotion and make your confession. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

Tears tracked down his cheeks once again as he nodded, arms tightening around you. “I thought so too.” His voice trembled, thick with emotion. A beat passed, the sound of your mingled breathing, and the stream of the shower, the only things to be heard. When he spoke again, it was barely above a whisper.

“When I thought it was over for me, my last thought was of you. How the times we had together were some of the best moments of my life. And how I hoped you’d make it out of the Lot and go on to live a good life without me.”

You couldn’t speak. There were no words you could utter, no reassurances you could breathe into the air between you. Instead, you buried your face against his neck, and let him hold you, bodies intertwined, connected in the most intimate of ways. This moment was two soulmates, rejoicing that the unthinkable hadn’t happened, and seeking solace in the other’s arms.

Enveloped in his warmth, you finally felt safe. The war in your mind quieted to a dull hum, and the thrumming in your veins settled, allowing you to melt into him, and just be present. You weren’t fighting anymore. No weapons were brandished, no desperate prayers were uttered.

Your head lifted from the crook of his shoulder, only to take in the sight of his beautiful face. You didn’t want to close your eyes, needing to commit this moment to memory. The slope of his nose, the staggering blue of his eyes, the cut on his cheek, the bruise near his eye. Reminders of what he had survived.

You never wanted to forget the feeling of him inside you. So deep, filling you so completely that it stole the breath from your lungs. Like the universe had created him to be connected to you in this way.

The feeling was too much and not enough all at once. You needed him closer, needed him so deep that it was unbearable. When you pleaded for him to move, it came out as a broken, pathetic sob.

Oh so slowly, he began to rock his hips into yours, not hurried, not rough. Gentle, careful, loving. “I’ve got you, baby,” he gasped against your mouth in reassurance. “I’m never letting you go.”

As he made love to you, he knew that he’d stop at nothing to see to it that you never had to suffer what you went through in the Lot again. He would be damned if he ever failed you again.

Your lips were warm as they trailed feverishly against his skin, a silent response to his words, and he was struck by how much you loved him, even after all you had been through. It made his chest ache so deeply, it took his breath away.

In a moment of sheer need, he pulled you back and sought out your lips, kissing you even as tears trailed down his cheeks.

“You’re everything to me,” he whispered against your mouth. “I’ll always love you. Always fight for you.”

You pressed your forehead against his, whimpering softly as you shifted your hips and felt him nudge against that sensitive spot within you.

“And I’ll always love you,” you echoed. How good it felt to say that. To know that you had survived the unthinkable, and still had the opportunity to profess your undying love to him.

You wanted to say more, but the syllables died in your throat, stolen away by each shunt of his hips into you. I love you. Keep going. Right there. Don’t stop.

A steady rhythm built between your bodies, and Ben lifted his pelvis to meet yours each time you sank down onto him, thighs quivering from the exertion.

“Oh! Ben, I lo-love you,” you whimpered lowly, entirely overwhelmed with it all.

He kissed you, swallowing your confession and burying it deep within his bones, allowing it to knit itself into his DNA. In his mind, his thoughts rang loudly. So good for me. Precious darling. All mine, always.

You trembled fiercely in his arms, heat rushing through your body, both from your pleasure and from the closeness of his body. With each nudge of his hips inside you, his pubic bone pressed against you, sending you teetering toward the edge with every passing moment.

It built, and built, and built. Like magma swelling inside a volcano. Like rain clouds threatening to burst forth in the midst of a storm. The intensity was too much, and you found yourself burying your face against his shoulder, biting down so you wouldn’t cry out too loudly.

Ben grunted softly at the feeling of your teeth against his skin, rhythm stuttering, tremor running down his spine. You were losing yourself. He could tell. Could feel it in the way your anatomy tightened around him like a vice.

His arms held you steady as he rutted into you, and as you leaned your head back, entirely unable to control your bodily responses as the pleasure built, his mouth found yours again. Hot and open, sharing each other’s gasps, tasting the desperation in one another’s mouths.

“I-I’m–”

“I know,” he gasped, hardly able to keep his voice steady. “Let go when you need to, honey. I’ve got you.”

And he did have you. He was so steady and solid beneath you, warm and real and human. So good, kind, and loving. Everything you could ever need. And his love, his tenderness, his care was what sent you plummeting over that edge.

He cradled you close as you fell apart, trembling like a leaf in the wind. Once again, you buried your face in the crook of his neck, muffling your sobs as you writhed against him. Ben’s eyes fell shut, shocks of electric pleasure crackling to life at the base of his spine.

You were so perfect. So beautiful. Shaking against him, overwhelmed with pleasure, giving yourself to him completely. It ebbed through you, not like a violent monsoon, but in gentle waves, warmth radiating through your blood stream. It was comforting, in a way. Grounding.

And as you came down from it all, Ben offered a few more deep, deliberate thrusts, arms tightening around you before he tipped over the edge, gasping brokenly as it washed over him. You took all he had to give, shivering at the feeling of his warmth flooding you, filling the deepest part of you.

Mouth hot and open against your temple, he breathed, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

When you looked up at him, there were tears shining in your eyes. The kiss that followed was tender, raw, laced with all the words left unsaid. There was no rush to break the spell that had fallen over you both. You remained intertwined, uncaring that the water was still running.

After being terrorized by an ancient monster, wasting water was low on your list of worries.

Holding each other seemed much more important. You remained cradled in your husband’s arms, safe and secure. But all too soon, you had to part, and he tenderly helped you ease his softening cock from you, soothing you when you whimpered softly.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, angel.” When he stood, he groaned softly, his joints protesting after being seated on the floor of the bathtub for so long. But he ignored the pain, carefully helping you to your feet so he could rinse you clean.

He was reverent and adoring, handling you as if you were a precious jewel. And when he was finished washing your body, he shut the water off, reaching beyond the tub to retrieve one of the towels off the nearby rack. Once dry and wrapped in the towel, he ever so carefully guided you out of the tub.

“My bag,” you sleepily murmured, “it’s in the room.”

His lips found yours in a sweet kiss. “I’ll grab it.” After tossing on a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants, ignoring his still damp skin, he padded out of the bathroom to retrieve your bag.

Now alone in the bathroom, you let out a weary sigh, turning toward the mirror. A strange sort of hollow feeling settled in your chest as you took in your appearance. Exhaustion lurked in every ridge and curve of your body. The events of Jerusalem’s Lot had aged you, it seemed. You hardly recognized yourself. Part of you wondered if you would ever be the same again. It felt as if your very soul had been altered. Ripped apart and put back together again in all the wrong places.

You weren’t given much time to fall into a spiral, for moments later, Ben returned, quiet in his movements as he closed the bathroom door, duffel bag in hand.

As he retrieved a little pot of body lotion for you, you asked, “how’s Mark?”

“Still asleep,” Ben murmured as he warmed the lotion in his palms before he began to smooth it along your skin.

“Good for him. Lord knows he needs all the rest he can get.”

Silence settled between you again as Ben continued. You let him take care of you, watching in awe as he so meticulously lotioned your skin. Caring for you in this way quieted his mind and gave him purpose.

“There. All finished,” he murmured, hands quick as he put the lid back on the lotion. The product was returned to your toiletry bag, and once you’d retrieved your pajamas from the duffel, Ben helped you dress.

Finally clean and settled into comfortable clothes, the two of you made your way back out into the main part of the room, sure to be quiet as you moved. As you settled into the surprising softness of the empty bed, your husband crossed the room, taking a moment to look through the peephole on the door, and peek through the curtains. Of course, no one was out there. But he had to be certain.

When he turned to join you in bed, he caught sight of the mournful look in your eyes. “We’ll always be looking over our shoulders, won’t we?” You whispered.

He let out an unsteady breath as he pulled you into his arms. “For a while, at least.” He settled behind you, arms cinched around your waist, holding you against the warmth of his broad chest. “But maybe…in the future, we’ll find ourselves in a place where we finally feel safe.”

A deep sense of longing spread through you. “God, I hope so.”

He slowly moved to hover over you, his eyes filled with raw sincerity. “I need you to know that no matter what, I’m with you. Whatever comes our way, I’ll be by your side, fighting it with you. You and Mark deserve the chance at a normal life, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen.”

Tears welled in your eyes as you brought your hands up to cup his cheeks. “I know you will, Ben. There’s no doubt in my mind.”

He nuzzled his nose against yours before he sealed his promise with a kiss. As you settled into bed that night, you knew that your journey was only just beginning. It would not be an easy task to move on from the events of the Lot. You didn’t even know how to begin to recover from it.

But what you did know was that you wouldn’t have to go it alone. You would lean on each other, just like you always had. And somehow, some way, you would come out on the other side of this. Battered and scarred, but alive.

tagging:

@thecowboyfiles @sunfloress @thesoftdumbass @householdcryptid @rainymitskicain

@mashtonbunny @mrcspectr @awesomekollie @bbybnnybee @rosesandtae

@fairyheart @mywinterivy @queer-vampire @voidslxt @withahappyrefrain

@shinycupcakebaker @cosmic-marauder @trelaney @gwaciechang @mustaaarrd

@avengerofyourheart

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rhettabbotts · 14 days ago

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#I miss being on here but I feel so out of place now #Like damn no one gaf if I’m gone or not 🙂‍↕️#May delete this blog soon idk #shelbs runs her mouth

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rhettabbotts · 14 days ago

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lewis via grhmparkes

#YEAH WHAG THE FUCK

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rhettabbotts · 17 days ago

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hey y’allllll! so sorry i have been inactive for a bit. work has been busy and im getting married in 50 days!!!! hope everyone is doing well and i am sending forehead kisses to every single one of you! mwah!!!

also i am hoping after life settles down a bit i can get back into writing bc i miss it a lot and miss u guys 🥺

#shelbs runs her mouth

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rhettabbotts · 1 month ago

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LEWIS PULLMAN in GUZZLE BUDDIES (2024) — dir. Michael Rees

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rhettabbotts · 1 month ago

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Will you write ‘They can't fuck you like I can.’ With professor! Ben from the age gap list. Love your fics btw <3

dwindling, mercurial high - professor!ben mears x fem!reader

18+ only. mdni. slight power dynamic. another problematic age gap fic bc nothing new (21 years). oral (fem receiving). doggy. possessive and jealous ben. he’s kind of a perv. spanking. spitting (sorry look away). unprotected sex (don’t listen to him). aftercare (as always).

you didn’t expect to run into him while you were on a date. not after the fight you had the week prior and he claimed he couldn’t do it anymore. it was too risky. too irresponsible. you held back the tears and swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded your head. saying you understood and walked away.

so, when ryan asked you out, you didn’t feel bad for saying yes. but you were beginning to regret that decision when you saw ben sitting in the corner booth nursing a glass of whiskey. the expensive kind, no doubt.

“you okay?” ryan asked after you hadn’t answered his question. what was the question again? you had stopped listening about five minutes ago. around the same time ben’s eyes locked with yours. damn him for having such an effect on you.

“huh? oh. yeah, i’m good. i just- i need to use the restroom.”

you took your bag and hurried to the back of the restaurant, not noticing someone following you. and you certainly did not expect that person to follow behind you into the restroom and lock the door behind them, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin.

“what the fuck are you doing?!”

“nice to see you, too.” his thin lips curved into a smirk and his button down shirt clung to him like a dream.

“you- you can’t be in here,” you stuttered, starting to feel a little bit like cornered prey.

“you look good,” ben said. his eyes roaming up and down your body, licking his lips at your exposed legs. “love that dress.”

“i need to get back to my date,” you said, voice shaky. he always made you nervous. and damn it, your stomach fluttered and heat built up between your thighs as he walked closer, cornering you against the sink countertop.

“you don’t want him,” he murmured, fingertips dancing up your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “he can’t take care of you. can’t give you what you want.”

“ben…” you breathed out.

“come home with me.”

“no.” you said and pushed past him. “we can’t do this, remember?” and that was the last thing you said before you unlocked the door and went back to your table, to ryan.

and ryan was sweet. driving you back home to your apartment. walking you to your door. kissing you on your cheek. and you should’ve invited him up for a cup of coffee. but you couldn’t. couldn’t stop thinking about the man you drove you mad. the man you flipped your world around and made you feel desired.

so, when your hand slid between your legs that night, you couldn’t stop ben’s name from escaping you as you reached your peak.

the next couple of weeks were dizzying. you were preparing for finals while also working on your dissertation. and while you didn’t want you, you knew you were going to have to ask for help. for ben’s, dr. mears’, help.

you sucked in a deep breath before knocking on his office door. shuffling of papers were heard on the other side. he opened the door and you felt lightheaded. his glasses were perched low on his nose and his tie was off. the top two buttons on his shirt undone, a peak of chest hair showing.

“dr. mears, is this a bad time?”

you didn’t miss the way he sucked in a deep breath at the official title. it always got him hot and bothered.

“no.. no it’s okay. just finishing up some grading. come in.”

you situated yourself across from him, pulling at the hem of your skirt as you crossed one leg over the other, catching ben’s eyes watching your every move from his seat on the other side of the desk.

“what’s going on?”

“i need help with my research. i’m just- i feel like i’m stuck.”

so for the next forty minutes, he helped you find resources. told you places to look that you hadn’t even thought of. he was so intelligent. it made him that much sexier. you couldn’t stop your thighs from clenching as his hands wrapped around the book he pulled from his bookshelf. a strand of hair falling out of place and his bottom lip sucked in, worrying it with his teeth as he concentrated. damn him for being that good looking.

ben could feel you staring, practically eating him alive with your eyes. and he reveled in it. knew the power he held over your. he slammed the book shut, causing you to jump slightly in your seat and he made his way towards you.

he towered over you from where you sat and your breathing became shallow in an instant. you could smell his expensive cologne. woodsy and spicy and something so incredibly ben, it made you dizzy.

“what do you want?” ben questioned, bracing his hands on the arm rests of the chair, leaning into your space until you could feel the heat radiating from him.

“what?” your brain was fogging up, becoming delirious from the desire that was coursing through you now.

“don’t play stupid, sweet girl. i know you better than that.”

“i want-“

“say it,” he demanded.

“i want you…” you said under your breath, almost scared to admit it. but it was the truth. and that’s all ben needed to hear before a strong hand gripped the back of your neck and hauled you into his arms, slamming his mouth against yours in painful, lustful kiss.

it was sloppy. tongues fighting against each other, hands gripping at body parts. your hands were ripping at the buttons of his shirt and his hands were pushing your skirt above your waist. he groaned when he grabbed handfuls of your ass.

“knew you wouldn’t stay away long. you need it too bad. those boys… they can’t fuck you like i can, can they?” he moved his mouth to your jaw, sucking a mark into your skin. “answer me, doll.”

and when your answer was delayed, a sharp smack landed onto your ass cheek.

“no! no, sir!”

“good girl.”

he pushed you towards his desk, swiping off all of the papers and supplies, causing them to crash into the floor in a mess. you couldn’t help but laugh. he was just as desperate as you were. his chest was heaving as he towered over you once more, his shirt half way undone and his chest on display. his cross necklace hung between his pectorals.

“wanna taste you,” ben said, not even bothering to pull your tights down, just ripping them at the seams so he could pull your panties to the side and devour you. he sucked your clit between his lips which caused you to arch your back off the wood beneath you. and he was filthy with it. moaning into your pussy like it was his favorite dessert. his tongue found its way to your dripping hole and he circled it a few times before thrusting inside you. you’ve never been eaten out like this before. like he couldn’t get enough of you. like you were his last supper.

your thighs shook and squeezed around his head, biting the heel of your hand to stifle your moans. and when you came, you nearly squealed his name. waves of aftershock washed through you as he slowed his licks. he pressed one last kiss to your clit before pulling away. a cheshire like grin was spread across his wet mouth.

“delicious. want you to taste,” he said. he gripped your jaw and worked his before a drop of spit fell into your mouth. the mix of your juices and his saliva was enough to make you moan wantonly. “taste so fuckin’ sweet.”

“ben! please!”

“what’s that, baby?”

“need you!” you whined, pawing at him.

“and i need you to be patient,” ben retorted back.

he eyed his office until they landed on the leather couch that was flush against the wall.

“wanna see you bent over for me.”

and that’s how you ended up with your face squished against the cool leather, hands held behind your back as ben pounded into you. the sound of skin slapping filled the space. the hand that wasn’t gripping your wrists was landing smacks against your ass with every thrust. you just knew there would be handprint marks there later.

“s’fucking tight. know you love it like this. love your professor fucking you senseless. dirty little girl. letting someone old enough to be her father do this to her.”

“dr. mears! ben! just like- like that! almost- almost there!” you hiccuped, pushing your body back into him to feel him even deeper.

“come for me, baby. come on daddy’s cock,” the name made you both release at the same time, the intensity of it causing you both to nearly scream.

ben released your wrists and fell forward, putting his full weight on you as he pulled out. you could feel him leak out of you and down the inside of your thighs. you blushed profusely as he placed a kiss to your shoulder and got up to grab his handkerchief to clean you. he took his time, shushing you when you winced and whined.

“i got you, baby,” he said as he hauled you into his arms to cuddle naked on the couch. “not letting you go again.”

tagging those who asked!

@vivianfiles @auroralightsthesky @galatially @lewmagoo @fairyheart @sebsxphia @whisperofsong @moondustfairies @kiwi-the-first @magicwithaknife @howtodisappear444

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rhettabbotts · 1 month ago

Note

Will you write ‘They can't fuck you like I can.’ With professor! Ben from the age gap list. Love your fics btw <3

dwindling, mercurial high - professor!ben mears x fem!reader

“huh? oh. yeah, i’m good. i just- i need to use the restroom.”

“what the fuck are you doing?!”

“nice to see you, too.” his thin lips curved into a smirk and his button down shirt clung to him like a dream.

“you- you can’t be in here,” you stuttered, starting to feel a little bit like cornered prey.

“you look good,” ben said. his eyes roaming up and down your body, licking his lips at your exposed legs. “love that dress.”

“you don’t want him,” he murmured, fingertips dancing up your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “he can’t take care of you. can’t give you what you want.”

“ben…” you breathed out.

“come home with me.”

“no.” you said and pushed past him. “we can’t do this, remember?” and that was the last thing you said before you unlocked the door and went back to your table, to ryan.

so, when your hand slid between your legs that night, you couldn’t stop ben’s name from escaping you as you reached your peak.

“dr. mears, is this a bad time?”

you didn’t miss the way he sucked in a deep breath at the official title. it always got him hot and bothered.

“no.. no it’s okay. just finishing up some grading. come in.”

“what’s going on?”

“i need help with my research. i’m just- i feel like i’m stuck.”

he towered over you from where you sat and your breathing became shallow in an instant. you could smell his expensive cologne. woodsy and spicy and something so incredibly ben, it made you dizzy.

“what do you want?” ben questioned, bracing his hands on the arm rests of the chair, leaning into your space until you could feel the heat radiating from him.

“what?” your brain was fogging up, becoming delirious from the desire that was coursing through you now.

“don’t play stupid, sweet girl. i know you better than that.”

“i want-“

“say it,” he demanded.

and when your answer was delayed, a sharp smack landed onto your ass cheek.

“no! no, sir!”

“good girl.”

“ben! please!”

“what’s that, baby?”

“need you!” you whined, pawing at him.

“and i need you to be patient,” ben retorted back.

he eyed his office until they landed on the leather couch that was flush against the wall.

“wanna see you bent over for me.”

“s’fucking tight. know you love it like this. love your professor fucking you senseless. dirty little girl. letting someone old enough to be her father do this to her.”

“dr. mears! ben! just like- like that! almost- almost there!” you hiccuped, pushing your body back into him to feel him even deeper.

“come for me, baby. come on daddy’s cock,” the name made you both release at the same time, the intensity of it causing you both to nearly scream.

“i got you, baby,” he said as he hauled you into his arms to cuddle naked on the couch. “not letting you go again.”

tagging those who asked!

@vivianfiles @auroralightsthesky @galatially @lewmagoo @fairyheart @sebsxphia @whisperofsong @moondustfairies @kiwi-the-first @magicwithaknife @howtodisappear444

#hiiiii #can yall pls show this some love :)

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rhettabbotts · 1 month ago

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Hiiiii! Sorry to bother you, but do you know when you'll be posting the professor!Ben Mears fic?

she’s posted! so sorry for the delay starting my new job has been crazyyyy but i hope you like it!

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rhettabbotts · 1 month ago

Note

Will you write ‘They can't fuck you like I can.’ With professor! Ben from the age gap list. Love your fics btw <3

dwindling, mercurial high - professor!ben mears x fem!reader

“huh? oh. yeah, i’m good. i just- i need to use the restroom.”

“what the fuck are you doing?!”

“nice to see you, too.” his thin lips curved into a smirk and his button down shirt clung to him like a dream.

“you- you can’t be in here,” you stuttered, starting to feel a little bit like cornered prey.

“you look good,” ben said. his eyes roaming up and down your body, licking his lips at your exposed legs. “love that dress.”

“you don’t want him,” he murmured, fingertips dancing up your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “he can’t take care of you. can’t give you what you want.”

“ben…” you breathed out.

“come home with me.”

“no.” you said and pushed past him. “we can’t do this, remember?” and that was the last thing you said before you unlocked the door and went back to your table, to ryan.

so, when your hand slid between your legs that night, you couldn’t stop ben’s name from escaping you as you reached your peak.

“dr. mears, is this a bad time?”

you didn’t miss the way he sucked in a deep breath at the official title. it always got him hot and bothered.

“no.. no it’s okay. just finishing up some grading. come in.”

“what’s going on?”

“i need help with my research. i’m just- i feel like i’m stuck.”

he towered over you from where you sat and your breathing became shallow in an instant. you could smell his expensive cologne. woodsy and spicy and something so incredibly ben, it made you dizzy.

“what do you want?” ben questioned, bracing his hands on the arm rests of the chair, leaning into your space until you could feel the heat radiating from him.

“what?” your brain was fogging up, becoming delirious from the desire that was coursing through you now.

“don’t play stupid, sweet girl. i know you better than that.”

“i want-“

“say it,” he demanded.

and when your answer was delayed, a sharp smack landed onto your ass cheek.

“no! no, sir!”

“good girl.”

“ben! please!”

“what’s that, baby?”

“need you!” you whined, pawing at him.

“and i need you to be patient,” ben retorted back.

he eyed his office until they landed on the leather couch that was flush against the wall.

“wanna see you bent over for me.”

“s’fucking tight. know you love it like this. love your professor fucking you senseless. dirty little girl. letting someone old enough to be her father do this to her.”

“dr. mears! ben! just like- like that! almost- almost there!” you hiccuped, pushing your body back into him to feel him even deeper.

“come for me, baby. come on daddy’s cock,” the name made you both release at the same time, the intensity of it causing you both to nearly scream.

“i got you, baby,” he said as he hauled you into his arms to cuddle naked on the couch. “not letting you go again.”

tagging those who asked!

@vivianfiles @auroralightsthesky @galatially @lewmagoo @fairyheart @sebsxphia @whisperofsong @moondustfairies @kiwi-the-first @magicwithaknife @howtodisappear444

#ben mears #ben mears x reader #ben mears x you #ben mears smut #ben mears fic #short n’ sweet celly

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