ricalism

[ricalism]

I remember that one time na nakalimutan ko yung cellphone ko sa cr ng convention area. (Dati pa talaga ako makakalimutin)

That phone was a gift from my mother. Alam ni orven yun. Kaya iyak talaga ako nung narealize ko na nawala ko. Nasa jeep na kami nun nung narealize ko na nawawala. Bumaba kami then naglakad pabalik dun sa venue. Tinatawagan and tinitext na ng mga kasama ko.

Pero wala akong maalala na may nagalit sakin dahil nakalimutan ko. Nag aalala lang silang lahat na sana nasa mabuting kamay yung phone ko. At sana maibalik sakin.

Di ko nga lang maalala ngayon pero si odessa ata yung nakabasa ng text ni orven dun sa phone ko para sa kung sino mang nakapulot.

Something na, "kaibigan po ito ng may ari, maawa po kayo kakabigay lang po sa kanya ng mama nya yang cellphone"

Shows a lot right? Kaya crush ko yun eh. Bagay na di nakikita ng ibang tao sa kanya.

[ricalism]

Nakakamiss yung mga ganitong convo. Nakakatawa lang kasi feeling ko that time hindi kami close. Pero pag binasa mo convo namin, close pala kami. Naalala ko sya kasi napanaginipan ko na naman sya.

Last time yung panaginip ko sa kanya, hinatid sundo nya kami ng kaklase ko. Kahit hassle sa kanya.

Ngayon kaninang umaga, napanaginipan ko sila ni kuya chris na nagsisimba sa mormon na church 😆 Pumasok daw ako dun kasi akala ko kainan. Hahahaha

Ang weird lang bakit lately ang dalas ko sya mapanaginipan. Is this a sign? A sign of what??

[ricalism]

Yung nagrarant ka, pero walang may pake. Tulog ko na lang to. Hahahaha

Kahapon pa ko nagrarant sa kanya. Umiyak din ako kagabi pero di nya naramdaman. Umiyak din ako kaninang umaga pero parang wala lang rin sa kanya.

Red!!!!!

[ricalism]

Sobrang na-enlighten ako sa mga sinabi sakin ni Jhustin kagabi. Lahat may point. He commended me on doing better, na akala ko di nya nakikita. I was so shy na napapansin nya pala yon. I don't want him to notice it actually. Because I was doing it for myself. I know I was trying to improve, for myself to deserve him. Because I was having this internal turmoil, na baka di ako para sa kanya. But he assured me. So much. He guided me on things that I could also do to improve my financial. I appreciate him for trying to be soft spoken even tho hindi yun yung upbringing nya. I also need to commend him for that.

He literally saw me through my hardships. And loved and helped me through it. He became my anchor. And I know when I wake this morning, this is the man that I want to be with. The man that I want to grow with in every aspect. I want to be his equal. I want to be his anchor, too.

He fills every aspect that I lack. He has learned how to love me. He still learns how to communicate with me. He has learned to wait on what I have to say. And I want to be with him kahit anong mangyari, kahit saan mapunta.

[ricalism]

I lost count of how many times I prayed to God for me to die in my sleep. I just want to disappear and never be remembered by anyone. Because I don't want to cause any pain to those around me. Just forget about me.