richardgrayson-wayne

[richardgrayson-wayne]

[It’s this blog’s third birthday! Thank you, everyone, for a fabulous three years!]

[richardgrayson-wayne]

Death: i have come to take you, again

Jason: hold on, let me ask my dad

Death: it’s not a choi-

Jason: bruce said no

[richardgrayson-wayne]

Damian: so you’re telling me to…kill people with kindness?

Dick: yeah, that’s right.

Damian: so i should kill them with what, a teddy bear? Because i could totally do that, choking them with it that could-

Dick: i don’t think you fully understand the meaning…

Jason: let the boy continue, Dick, i sort of like where this is going.

Tim: of course you do.

Damian: see, i could use the stuffing of the tedd-

Dick: no! no one is killing anyone with a teddy bear!

Stephanie: that’s very viable actually.

Jason: after choking them with the stuffing can we shoot them? ya’ know, to be certain.

Dick: i live in a family of psychopaths.

[richardgrayson-wayne]

Bruce: Tim, where’s Jason?

Tim: Doing stuff.

Bruce: Then where’s Dick?

Tim: Trying to stop Jason from doing stuff.

Bruce: So where is Stephanie?

Tim: Stopping Dick from stopping Jason from doing stuff.

Bruce: If they’re doing all that, why are you here and not with them.

Tim: I have to keep you distracted so you can’t stop Steph from stopping Dick from stopping Jason from doing stuff.

[richardgrayson-wayne]

Bruce: Tim, is there anything about you and your Kryptonian friend I need to know?

Tim: No?

Bruce: *batglares*

Tim: Uh, fine. Superman asked me if I want to join the league.

Bruce: No, the younger one. And if Superman did that I would have to have a conversation with him.

Tim: Okay, Jon said I can visit their farm if I got a vacation.

Damian: Liar!

Bruce, pinches the brideg of his nose: No, another Kryptonian.

Tim: …Kara?

Bruce: Tim.

Tim: I’m not a Kryptonian and you know that.

[richardgrayson-wayne]

*Hal watching the news*

Reporter: Aliens are invading Earth!

Hal: Again? Why Earth?? Why is it always Earth??? What's so good about Earth????

[richardgrayson-wayne]

Listen, Tim Drake has absolutely walked into Starbucks as Red Robin before the start of patrols

And Tim Drake has absolutely accidentally given his actual name to the barista when they ask for his name on reflex

And when asked if he’s actually Tim Drake he has absolutely replied with ‘bitch I might be’

[richardgrayson-wayne]

[Every year, the Batfam has a miniature Secret Santa. But it doesn’t really matter who pulls whose name.]

[If Tim’s name is pulled, he’s probably getting a Superboy or Robin coffee mug (once he got a Polaroid camera, though). If Dick’s name is pulled he’s probably getting some gag disco gift (and then a Superman tee shirt, because of course he always gets a Superman tee shirt). Jason? Something Wonder Woman (either a top – tank or tee – or an action figure, usually). Damian? Sets of exotic teas and sometimes a fancy bladed weapon.]

[If Babs’ name is pulled, she’ll usually end up with a new harddrive, or something Batgirl (to remind her that she IS Batgirl, even when she’s Oracle). Steph usually gets a stack of cheesy romcoms (but when Jason drew her name, he purchased a bunch of seasons of different quiz shows, because he’s Jason). Cass will usually get her current favourite show on DVD, something mundane but thoughtful. Harper will get just… Batman merch. All the time. Every time. Probably to remind her that she IS a Bat, even if she isn’t a Robin.]

[Bruce always gets a really crappy page to put in this ridiculous scrap book that Dick gave him years ago. Alfred will get an all expense paid vacation (which he’ll never use) and a new tea cup and saucer (which he will use every day until the next year’s cup comes along). Selina gets cat toys. Always. Except when Jason pulls her name. When it’s Jason, Selina get’s a bunch of dog toys and a hamster ball.]

[richardgrayson-wayne]

new batfam theory: at some point when jason wants to start living a public life again as bruce’s son barbara deletes every single web result for “jason todd death” and every related search and the whole family just goes “mandela effect????” when asked

[richardgrayson-wayne]

batkids, passing around a bottle

Dick: is this whiskey or cologne?

Jason: [grabs bottle and chugs the whole thing]

Jason: its cologne.

[richardgrayson-wayne]

i got sad thinking how maybe after a big win or someone’s birthday, bruce decides to take the family out for a meal and well, he’s been pretty busy with batman business these past few months and alfred thinks why not make a public appearance so the world doesn’t think he’s dropped off the face of the earth, which of course means jason can’t accompany them because it’d raise questions about his possible resemblance to a certain very dead ward of bruce wayne

but then i started laughing to the point of crying because imagine jason wearing a blonde wig, a very bad wig he hasn’t even put the least amount of effort into wearing properly on his head, with his normal clothes and everything, and when an interviewer asks him who he is because they know the rest of the kids but not him, he just goes

“my name’s betty. i’m the new orphan” in a deadpan face and voice

[richardgrayson-wayne]

Dick Grayson: Good luck to you out there. Get ready for anything.

Jason Todd: Define "anything".

Dick Grayson: Oh, ninjas, possibly.

Jason Todd: Ninjas? In Oklahoma?

[later]

Roy Harper: [fighting a group] Who are these guys?

Jason Todd: Ninjas, possibly.

Roy Harper: In Oklahoma?

[richardgrayson-wayne]

Wally: *points at bird* Is that your relative

Dick: Fuck you

[richardgrayson-wayne]

Headcanon that the batkids hide under Bruce’s cape ALL the time. When they get cold on patrol, when they’re scared of a particularly creepy villain, when they get tired and need a warm, dark place to hide, they can always be found in Bruce’s cape, hanging onto his back like a koala. One time Hal and Barry were at the watchtower just hanging out when they saw something move under Batman’s cape. Assuming it was an alien parasite out to kill the dark knight by sucking his brains out, Barry pulled off the cape to reveal not one, not two, but three of Bruce’s kids huddled under there playing a game of Uno. It was a mystifying experience.  

[richardgrayson-wayne]

Rambling ahead! Skip this if you don’t want to deal with an overexcited, bouncing bag of glitter talking aboUT YOUNG JUSTICE SEASON 03 THINGS!   Not just YJ S03, though. Like. Ugh. So. Here’s the story (it’s a long one):   I forgot Mister Twister’s name.   Look, I didn’t like him, I didn’t think he was important (except for foreshadowing and getting the Team to be a bit more cohesive), and I forget about him, all the time. The Reds are different because I Love Them and family units in superhero/supervillain capacities are Everything To Me.   Anyway, I had to look him up, which consisted of vaguely googling him (did not work) and then using the YJ Wiki to look up S01E03, Welcome to Happy Harbor. Found him, it was all good, and then I noticed a thing for the YJ comics in the banner on the top of the page and felt A Mighty Need.   I clicked the banner, but it just brought me to the front page of the wiki (sadface). But wait! In the margins was an article about the new costume designs for S03. Now, it’s been a few months since I looked up S03 news (I look it up maybe once every 2.5 months – or try to), and it was all “why the core team has new costume designs and what it has to do with Nightwing” and I’m just “did yoU SAY NIGHTWING” (lawl, I’m weak) and clicked.   The article didn’t have a picture, though, so I googled YJ S03 costumes and BOOM first image in my face was like “HAAAY GURL” and I was like “HAAAY” back at it, because the faces were familiar and new alike. And first I was digging on the Imp– …(another sadface) the KF redesign and the Rob redesign. And then I was like. I was just “Holy Dark Knight, is that Static??” and of course it was, I know my boo.     Anyway, I freaked da eff out, and my bro was like “???” and I was just “StaTIC!! he’s back omg” Which reminded me that I hadn’t checked in on the “is DC out with a Static Shock DVD release yet?” question in awhile, either. So I checked that and, long story short, I blew threw 40$ because S01 and S02 of MY FAVOURITE CHILDHOOD SHOW EVER has finally been released on DVD! I’m dyin’. I’m DYIN.   After all this, I went back to the pictures, found the new stealth suit designs, mourned the missing insignias, asked myself “is that gonna be Mia Dearden?” and then realized that Spoiler was on scene now. It may disappoint ya’ll to know this, but I got kinda sad about seeing Spoiler. I don’t want to see any TimSteph in S03, tbh. Here’s to, hopefully, that relationship having coming and gone in the S02 - S03 timeskip, I guess? XD   BUT MOSTLY! EXCITEMENT! I LIVE! And I’ll have my two seasons of Static Shock in, like, two days! Radical, man. I am. I am so happy. /end rambling. Haha, if you got this far: love ya! Thanks!

Myself, from the End Notes of my Last AO3 fic, Not a “Thing” (https://archiveofourown.org/works/12754434)

[richardgrayson-wayne]

barry: hal have you paid the rent for your apartment in coast city yet??

hal: *blinks*

barry: and what about your car lease? did you sort out your mortgage yet? taxes? the specific-task contract with ferris air?

hal: barry your mouth is moving but i dont understand the words that are coming out of it

barry: hal... who is the current president of the united states?

hal:

hal:

hal:

hal: ...........bruce?

[richardgrayson-wayne]

the batboys as stuff i’ve said

dick: i just want people to love as me as much as i love them

jason: you haven’t truly lived until you’ve kicked someone you hate in the balls

tim: i love coffee more than i love myself

damian:  fuck whoever said that talking to cats isn’t social interaction