richeysblogarama

[richeysblogarama]

I wasn't going to write, but I am. Avery's gone. I can't stop crying. He jumped off the roof. I got to the skylight just in time to see him disappear over the edge. I yelled at Callum and Owen to call an ambulance and I bombed it down the stairs to get to him, but he wasn't on the street.

There was no sign of him.

The ambulance crew were not happy. I had to do that mind manipulation puzzle thing again to stop them calling the police. Don't get me started on the ethics of that. Fuck. I feel like such a supervillain whenever I do it.

Anyway, I didn't know what to think. Where the fuck did Avery go? I was losing it. I'm usually the calmest, but I went to pieces. I was all for calling our parents and Alan, but knew I couldn't explain to them where Avery's body went. Callum was surprisingly calm, considering everything, and he was just like: "It's fine, he's alive." And Owen was stood behind him nodding sagely. I'm not fucking kidding, Owen was nodding SAGELY. Like no offence to Cal and Owen, but they're never the smartest two in a room. For all his expensive education, Callum sometimes seems a bit dim. And Owen, well, everyone knows my feelings about that moron… but I digress…

They were totally certain that Avery is fine. They can feel it. Callum even said that he'd know if Avery was dead. It was kind of creepy. I was a bit too emotional at the time to get him to elaborate much. Thinking about it I was kind of a dick to them.

I mean, I went ballistic. Why was Avery even running away from Callum? What was he running from? What did Callum DO? Why was it so bad that Avery felt he had to get on the fucking ROOF?!

So, I said I wasn't going to write about this. And I wasn't at first. I was gonna spend months crying over and pining for my dead/missing brother and best friend, and let this blog die. But then today he phoned Callum. Confirming that he isn't dead, thank fuck. Cal didn't get the chance to say much to him, the phone cut off and Callum won't go into detail about what Avery said (it's pissing me off that he can't give a word for word account, it's not like they were speaking long. 20 seconds at the most. Is Callum really that dim he can't remember the exact words?!) According to Callum, all Avery said was that he had to leave, he can't control something and tell Richey I'm fine. UGH. WHEN I SEE HIM AGAIN I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM.

Owen and Callum keep trying to talk to me, to check if I'm ok. They're getting on my nerves. Maybe I would be okay if Callum would tell me WHY Avery was running away from him. But whenever I start on Callum, Owen starts on me and then Anwen starts up too. She can get lost too. I hope you're reading this.

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I forced it. But Avery wasn't all that receptive. His mind was obviously elsewhere, but at least I kind of managed to talk to him. I told him that I feel there's some kind of force coming between us, I mentioned theses weirdos that are harassing us. I mentioned the Light and the Dark wisps. I reminded him that Anwen is in my head. But he didn't want to talk. I don't even know if he was listening. He seemed upset and distracted. I wish he'd talk to me. I'm gonna try and get Callum to ask him about it. Callum might have more luck maybe.

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I tried. He said he had to check on Callum. I guess my timing was off.  He  always seems a bit out of it nowadays, even more than usual. I guess it's because of the thing that happened. He'll be worrying about it. He's such a worrier. 

Things are gonna be fine for him though, I've seen to that. To my shame.

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Avery put his fingers in his ears and yelled lalalalalalalalalalal, it was weird. I left it a bit so as not to make a fuss but when I approached him about it later he said he was fine and he was just being silly. No he wasn't. Something is going on. I'll try again.

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I need to talk to him. I'll have to really force myself.

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Oh shit. Police came. I'm not going in depth here about why. He was asking all kind of questions about the altercation. I stayed chill as I could, but I started to panic a bit. That's not like me.

Then, it's like I called it to me. The Light. Like my panic made it come to me. To help. I just knew what to do. I looked right into that cops brain and just knew how to divert those little electrical impulses. It was like playing a video game. A really complicated puzzle game. But a game nonetheless. The Light in him helped.

I convinced him there was no problem. He thought that he'd sat with us and that we'd answered all his questions. He thinks we are all pretty innocuous, and that he needs no further information. Avery came in halfway, I thought he might blunder in and put his foot in it but it was okay. He did fine.

I feel conflicted. I feel awesome and powerful. But I also feel a bit dirty because what I did was really fucking unethical. I'm kind of ashamed of myself. But I'm also pretty pumped that I could do it.

But now I feel worse because…. It made me realise I needed to stop Joe from talking to the police about what happened to Callum.

Normally, I'd talk to Avery about stuff like this, but, we're growing apart. And after the thing with Anwen, I don't want to give him yet another reason to think that I'm going completely insane. I've been keeping quiet about Anwen lately.

No, it's not growing apart exactly, there's something else I can't put my finger on. I think it's why I keep putting off talking to him about all this stuff. Before if I wanted to talk to Avery about stuff I just did it but there's been this subtle change, barely noticeable until recently. I still can't put my finger on what it is. I get the impression Avery still hasn't noticed anything is wrong. Which is so typically him.

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All I seem to do is apologise to An. I'll never be able to apologise enough.

Ave went to see Alan. I was gonna go with him at first, but decided against it. We figured the conversation would go smoother if it's just Avery and Al. They can hold a conversation without arguing. Avery has a sweet level of patience when it comes to Alan that I simply don't have. Although, I have to admit Avery's getting more irritable than sweet as time goes on. He used to be so sweet and cute and naive. Me and Alan could run rings around him. What the hell happened? Heh. Nah, he's still like that. This last year has just been shit for him, that's all.

Anyway. Alan. He's quit his job. He got this really good, highly paid job with zero effort. People just like Alan, immediately, no questions asked. EVERYONE likes Alan. Literally Everyone. It's so annoying. Me and Ave have never been able to work it out. But Alan quit this job. I can't believe it. It's the sort of job he's been after since he was about 13. Avery thinks there's something wrong with him. Judging by the amount of phone call and texts we get from him I suspect that it's us. I should talk to him about it I suppose. Avery doesn't argue with him much, but he doesn't demand info from him either.

I'll call him. It's over due. So is talking to my parents. That's also been a while. Avery speaks to them every few days. I'm a terrible son. And brother. Nah. I'm awesome really.

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I’m dead, rub it in why don'cha. Whose fault is that, anyway?

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She won't tell me. Not properly. "Into the Light" is not an adequate explanation. Especially from some one who is dead. I asked if it was Heaven. She said it isn't. But only after she'd laughed manically for like ten minutes straight.

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I wonder where An goes when she vanishes. I'm gonna keep asking until she tells me.

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Joe's moved out permanently. I'm a bit gutted. He was a good guy. But the drama has been an issue for him for a while. And Owen. And sometimes I think that odd thing he might have for me that I'm not 100% sure is a thing but feels like a thing. I think the latest thing was the last straw.

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Ok. We got to the bottom of Callums weird behaviour and it wasn't good. Turns out the tenant downstairs is an evil bastard. He really hurt him.

And then, when my back was turned Avery vanished.

HE ONLY WENT DOWNSTAIRS TO CONFRONT MAXWELL. Oh my God, I've never been so scared in my whole life. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to Avery. I love that dork to death. He was beat up, but he was okay. Thank God. But, heh, you should have seen the the other guy.

Anyway. Avery's way too much of a klutz to sort things out efficiently, so I did it for him. With a bit of help from my arch enemy. Who was keen to help. I personally wouldn't have asked him but *someone* thought they'd interfere. Give the dickhead his due, he was surprisingly helpful. And i guess, he's probably the most discreet person we could have enlisted. He so insanely in love with my bro he won't do anything wrong by him. …wait did I say that or An…? That's kind of weird. But not untrue.

Alan kept ringing too. I've barely talked about him in my blog. I barely talk about him period. I like to pretend he doesn't exist. Ok sorry, that a lie. He's my brother and I care about him. Genuinely. We just don't gel so I don't, uh whatever. Anyway. He has this incredible knack for ringing at the most, inconvenient moments. Like after pigeons have exploded or windows have smashed or a mutual sibling has had.. an altercation. It's uncanny. I don't think it's a coincidence. But I'd rather not get into an argument with the dude. By which I mean try and talk to him about it. There's always a 95% chance that when Alan and I are in each others vicinity we'll start arguing, and then later on it'll all seem so petty and he'll make me feel like i'm the bad guy cuz he's such a self righteous prick.

Speaking of weird shit. Avery mentioned the Black stuff again. I wasn't expecting it. I dunno. Again just hearing about it made me feel heavy and full of dread. And, I don't like saying it but I felt this little micro flash of hatred and then it was gone. And it was just my confused bro staring back at me. I did my best to stay chill, but it was hard. What he said was interesting though. I wonder if my Light can do the same. I wanted to talk about it, but the situation, well it wasn't the right time really. And Callum was there which made it a bit awkward. I don't know if Callum picked up on it. I find Callum really hard to read. To my untrained eyes he just has this kind of Elijah Wood as Frodo Baggins eternally confused/worried expression that i can't decipher. Maybe Avery is better at picking up his nuances.

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Ave's doing a bit of detective work. He's determined to get to the bottom of Callum's weird behaviour. He will too. He's persistent.

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I don't want to argue with you. It sounds weird when I'm talking to myself all the time. People pick up on it. Avery gets more worried. So l'll reply here. I am not blind to Avery's faults. They're just not as massively offensive as Owens.

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I'm not blind to Owen's faults. I know he has faults. Massive glaring faults. But I understand them and him. You're blind to Avery's faults.

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Ok… she's done one of her vanishing acts. She wont tell me where she goes. Anyhoo. She defends Owen far too much, I say she's blinded to Owens faults and then she had the nerve to say I am blind to my bros faults. Whatevs.

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Avery's really stand offish with Owen lately. It's bothering me a little. He says it's nothing, but I'm not so sure. An keeps saying Owen wouldn't hurt Avery, Owen wouldn't hurt Avery like a broken record. But me and Owen weren't ourselves after Anwen died. What if something happened.

Ok we just had another argument, and yes I am writing it down as a matter of fact, is that a pro