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I just know the silent/non-verbal three way Trinity conversations are unbearable

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CLARK READING BRUCE FOR FILTH IS THE EXACT THING I AM HERE FOR

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“Bruce doesn’t know how to cook” “Bruce doesn’t make his own bed” have you considered the possibility that Bruce knows how to do all of those things but lets Alfred do them anyway because if he doesn’t, the whole Manor falls apart?

Bruce lets Alfred make the bed because after the close call with Killer Croc last night it’s either crisp folded sheets pressed to perfection OR Alfred goes deep into the Gotham sewers with a rifle, a belt of flash-bangs, and 30 years of unresolved overprotectiveness.

let the man cook. literally, please let him cook something.

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I like how they were already making "phone booths aren't that common anymore" jokes in the 1978 Superman

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thinking david corenswet is hot is the most embarrassing reputation ruining annoying thing I could have done tbh like ohhh my god really? tall big muscles dark hair and blue eyes kind man is hot? god fucking really. are you fucking stupid I hate myself. oh you think superman is hot? fucking superman? groundbreaking type shit going on here oh my god he’s tall should we tell everyone he’s tall and his jaw is nice wow she thinks the attractive man is attractive. you and everyone else. is pizza your favorite food too. fuck you. everyone look at her she thinks SUPERMAN is hot boundaries are really being pushed over here should we get her a medal because she thinks Mr Smile is easy on the eyes. “hear me out” and it’s a fucking marching band. should we call people magazine. vanilla. I DISGUST myself. summer blockbuster. I should be killed

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If I ever wrote a superhero story I’d want there to be a recurring shitty C-list supervillain in the background whose power was changing something’s colour and all her villainous plots would be colour-themed things like “If the city council doesn’t give me a million dollars, I will turn the city of GREEN Bay into the city of RED Bay!” and she’d turn the Golden Gate Bridge magenta or whatever.

So it’s all low-stakes villainy, but everyone absolutely hates fighting her because her very shitty superpower works really really well, and there are dozens of background characters who’ve fought her that are just permanently green now

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“villain attempts to go back in time to kill superman as a small child, gets shot in the face by ma kent, who buries him behind the barn with the others” would probably have niche appeal as a comic but i don’t care, i want it

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"Is Superman stronger than the Hulk" "Is Hawkeye a better archer than Green Arrow" "Dr. Strange vs Doctor Fate" All bullshit. I only have one DC/Marvel crossover question. If Squirrel Girl was dropped in Gotham City, how long would it take for her to realize that Batman cannot talk to Bats.

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“they gave you a human name, Kal, but you didn’t give them Kryptonian names back?”

— Kara one day, oblivious to the fact she is about to send Clark down one of the worst rabbit holes ever where he furiously researches Kryptonian names in the Fortress for a week straight and gives his parents, Lois, Jimmy, Bruce, the entire Batfamily and half the Justice League Kryptonian names on top of their own just in case they might ever need them. Why would they need them? Good question. The point is they have them.

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muscle is very dense so someone carrying a lot of muscle might appear lighter than they actually are. this is all to say, Batman picks up his Robins no problem and makes it look easy, so the one time Jim Gordon needed to haul an unconscious/injured Robin over his shoulder to safety, he actually almost threw his back out and swore so loudly the entire time he woke up Robin

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(pa kent giving The Talk voice) see when a bull and a cow love each other very much, that’s how a calf is born [remembers his son came from space] of course if the bull comes from another farm, the cow might not end up taking, but that’s alright [remembers clark might be gay] sometimes bulls also love other bulls [remembers clark is an alien again] but if the bull is from another farm, he might have a calf if he fools around with bulls from here so he should be careful.

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love my little Creature 🦇

Based on this (poorly photographed in the back room of the book shop I volunteer at)

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totally forgot to post this on here but here are some doodles I did for timmy’s bday 😛 I gotta do more digital

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So it does vary a bit by continuity (shout out to the Animated Justice league series where he admits flat out to just straight up embezzling money from his company lol) but I think frequently boils down to “he gets away with some logistical trickery because he’s rich” or else “people make exceptions because he’s Batman” (shout out to that Q/A that was like “Robin gets a special driver’s license for being Robin. Yes the GCPD knows he’s some age below 13. But also he is Robin.”)

However, I am now also inescapably entertained by the mental image of Batman showing up to a bank. In broad daylight. As Batman. To open an account. Little ears and everything. Does he bring his own GCPD-issued Batman Driver’s License as ID? Does he wait in line? Does he politely usher the older lady with a cane to take his spot at the teller’s window because he doesn’t mind waiting a bit longer?

I’ve seen stories where some villain decides to rob a bank while Bruce Wayne is there, which are very fun. But imagine showing up to hold up a bank and those stupid little ears are already there, sticking up above the crowd, turning towards you along with the heads of everyone else in line when you bust through the doors.

Man, I think I’d just leave.

Batman shrugs and steps up to the counter like “Anyway, I’d like to make a deposit.”

I'm kind of a newbie in this fandom, this is a genuine question

Has Bruce opened a bank account to Batman?

This man has the most expensive everything

How the hell would Bruce Wayne buy a goddamn SATELLITE without sounding suspicious? Or the pieces to build his gadgets?

Is it through Lucius?

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Read a fucking comic man