rippledawn

[rippledawn]

Me and my cousin have an ongoing bit where we pretend we made "slightly better" versions of things where we'll be like.

"That was a pretty good movie, but not as good as my movie, House of 1001 Corpses," or "I guess this song is okay. Kind of reminds me of a song I'm working on called 'Faster Car'."

Never once has it been funny or made anyone but us laugh.

[rippledawn]

hi besties in my phone. i hope today is so so good to you. i hope something special happens to remind you that it’s not always bad. ily.

[rippledawn]

not to shit on zack snyder again but it's really funny that he tried to make a big, grand, complex moral quandary on where superman should stand when he saves people around the world and then james gunn is like "he wants to do it because he thinks it's the right thing to do". sometimes going simpler means you get to the crux of what the character is all about much more efficiently. like wow it's really that easy

[rippledawn]

A note, because not everyone knows this: if you're driving and another driver flashes their brights at you, this is a signal to be on alert and slow down. There may be debris in the road, a cop out of sight, or an animal crossing ahead of you. (Or, alternatively, your brights are on and they're getting blinded.) Whatever the reason, it's a signal that you need to focus and reduce speed. And possibly turn your own brights off.

This PSA has been brought to you by the four fawns and does that ran out in front of me at various points on my drive home.

Let's court death with mama!

[rippledawn]

My casino has new top-of-the-line technology to stop heists: a montage detector. If those bastards want to break in and steal my money, they’re doing it as part of one, long take

[rippledawn]

Hey im gana leave my dog here can you keep her safe?🐕

yes yes of course i will keep your dog safe

[rippledawn]

Fresh off the market this ->🐕 little dog now only $4.99! Get in quick!

[rippledawn]

*if you know/have confirmed from multiple sources, pick the first one you experienced

[rippledawn]

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

[rippledawn]

Wait

Does Lancelot exist in the Dragon Age Universe? Because if not, Ser Pounce-A-Lot isn’t a pun name to Anders.

He just looked at that cat and thought

“Man he sure do pounce a lot”

And decided not only was that a sensible cat name, but that cat is clearly a Sir.

[rippledawn]

Hey remember in 2008 when Phineas and Ferb had an episode that said "having robots create things for you is ultimately unfulfilling and doesn't stack up to the joy of making things yourself!" Dan and Swampy were WAY ahead of the game on that one and you still didn't listen. Have you learned NOTHING from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein?

[rippledawn]

The spirits don't tell them zip.

One of their kids just starts sprouting stuff about spirits and murder and they collectively go 'Oh, it's that one'.

[rippledawn]

ROLLER DERBY KISSES, Acrylic on MDF and leather, Riikka Hyvönen

[rippledawn]

Splendid Fairywren (Malurus splendens), males, family Maluridae, order Passeriformes, Australia

photograph by Jennifer Sexton

[rippledawn]

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

[rippledawn]

this is your monthly reminder to stretch

[rippledawn]