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risingode · 1 year ago

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loml (loss of my life)

summary: in which ellie's only ever cried in front of you three times. yet the fourth is the most devastating of them all.

pairing: ellie williams x y/n

genre: angst

wc: 962

please comment or message letting me know your thoughts! it helps motivate me :)

once again inspired by taylor swfit :)

a/n: hello everyone! it has been quite a while since i have uploaded on here. i've had a lot of changes in my life since the last time i posted a writing of mine, primarily, i am now in my third (!!!) year of university. crazy to even think about tbh. anyways, i know i primarily write about jungkook from bts, but recently i was gifted a ps5 by my brother in law and the first game i bought was tlou part 2 remastered because i never quite got over the game, or more specifically, ellie williams lmaooooo. anyways pls enjoy this short little drabble, i am excited to get back into writing! and yes, i will keep writing for jungkook as well, i'm just mixing it up a bit!

Ellie Williams was an enigma to the world, and right now, her mystery is unfurling in the cruelest of ways. The room before you is a tapestry of shattered dreams, clothes scattered like discarded promises, each garment a silent witness to the betrayal unfolding before your eyes.

Your heart, once so full of trust and love, feels like it's disintegrating. A heart-shaped void appears on the floor beneath you, a grotesque reflection of the pain ripping through your chest. There, in the dim light, your fiancée lies entwined with another woman, their bodies a stark betrayal of the vows once promised to you.

It's almost absurd, the way a love that once made you feel invincible can crumble so easily, as if it was all a cruel joke. The sight is so surreal that you question its reality, your mind unable to reconcile the image before you with the life you thought you shared. Your feet are rooted to the ground, as if some invisible force has tethered you to this unbearable truth.

The diamond ring on your finger, once a symbol of unending love, now feels like a shackle, its weight a painful reminder of the promises that were so carelessly broken. You stand there, numb and hollow, the ache in your chest growing more insistent with every breath.

Her voice is a faint murmur, drowned out by the protective haze your mind has wrapped around you, shielding you from the full weight of her betrayal. The woman who promised to stand by you for the rest of your life is now an almost surreal presence, a distant echo as the reality of the situation sinks in.

They scramble to untangle themselves from the bed—your bed. Clothes are hastily pulled on, and you feel a wave of nausea rise up, the bile surging before you can even hope to stop it. The force of the moment propels you into action, and you sprint through the house, your heart pounding with the realization that every corner holds a painful reminder of the life you built together.

The couch you assembled in your first apartment, the dishes you chose together, each one a piece of your shared dream, perfectly matching the white and royal blue of your kitchen. The kitchen where you cooked meals side by side, dancing to songs from artists you discovered together,

“This one’s the song I want to walk down the aisle to,” you’d said, stirring the pasta as you both cooked together.

Ellie looked up from where she stood, buttering garlic bread. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you replied, smiling as you watched her. “Do you like it?”

Her eyes twinkled with that familiar warmth as she walked over to you, wrapping her arms around your waist. “I don’t care what song you walk down the aisle to,” her tender voice whispers into your ear, “as long as the person standing at the end of it is me.”

The air is cold against your hot skin, a reminder of how real everything you just experienced was. You couldn’t seem to care, though, almost prying open the door to your poorly parked car. The silence of it deafening as you give yourself time to catch your breath, finally it was quiet. Still, the sounds of their shared moans and whimpers echoes in your mind. The silence doesn’t last long, a loud thump breaks you out of your dissociated trance. Your neck snaps towards your driver’s side window, Ellie’s tearful face is the sight you’re met with. You think back to all the times you’ve seen her cry before. You conclude it’s three.

The first time was when she was drunk, confessing her feelings, afraid you didn’t feel the same. You had held her close, whispering reassurances.

“Oh, Ellie, you’re silly to think I don’t like you too.”

The second was when you were rushed to the hospital after a fall at work. The memory is a blur of bright lights and pain, but Ellie’s tear-streaked face as she clung to you is vivid.

“You scared me so bad, baby,” she had sobbed into your shoulder.

You had tried to lighten the moment, chuckling despite your discomfort. “I just have a mild concussion. The only thing I’m worried about is how I’m going to step back into that office without a bag over my head. I’m so embarrassed.”

She pulls away to look at your pouting face, noticing a light purple bruise decorating your pretty eye. She frowns, leaning in to leave a kiss on it. “Shut up, you’re never leaving my side again.”

The third and only time you cried alongside her was the day she proposed, her hand shaking in your grasp as she got down on one knee.

“You’re the love of my life, Y/N. I don’t care how many years pass, or how many hurdles we come across, I will always be there for you. I can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I love you, baby.”

You’re choking on your tears, your hand feels almost numb at the tightening of her grip. You reach your empty hand up to your chest, willing your beating heart to still.

“Will you marry me?”

Now, in the cold car, you’re confronting the fourth time, a cruel twist of fate that you never anticipated would be this moment. You thought the tears would come on your wedding day, as you exchanged vows to love and cherish each other, for better or for worse. The irony makes you laugh, a broken, hollow sound, as you shift the car into reverse.

Ignoring the pleading sobs muffled by the glass, you drive away, each mile feeling like a mile further from the life you once knew and the promises that were so easily shattered.

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risingode · 2 years ago

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we need a 2nd part for I know places🥲 PLEASEEEE

soon! i have a lot of schoolwork and haven’t had time to write 💔

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risingode · 2 years ago

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You know who deserves everything in life? People that comment on fics, like literally whatever it is, an emoji, nice detailed comment, a screaming caps lock blessed comment, it makes me so so so happy and when I have dark days I read my comments, because someone took time out of their day to let you know they appreciate you and your work and you guys are literally the BEST

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risingode · 2 years ago

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"no matter what anyone says."

synopsis: after going public with your relationship, you struggle with insecurities and comparisons from the public, but jungkook's reassurance and love help you overcome your doubts and realize that you are meant to be together.

just a small drabble to hold you over until i know places part two (✯◡✯)

You and Jungkook had been dating for a few months now. As idols, you both knew how important it was to keep your relationship private. But your agencies recently confirmed it after it was leaked to dispatch (how typical), and the media went crazy.

It was initially overwhelming, but you and Jungkook did your best to not let it affect you. You both cherished the moments you spent together, whether it was hanging out at home or going out on dates.

However, things started to change when fans began comparing your relationship to one Jungkook had before. It was with another girl group idol, and they were saying they were a better couple. You couldn't help but feel insecure and wonder if you were good enough for Jungkook.

One day, you were both sitting in his studio, and you couldn't keep your thoughts to yourself anymore. "Jungkook, do you think we're a good couple?" you asked, feeling vulnerable.

He looked at you, confusion written all over his face. "Of course we are, Y/N. Why would you even ask that?"

"It's just that everyone keeps comparing me to your ex-girlfriend, and they're saying how she was a better match for you. I don't know if I can measure up to her," you admitted, tears filling your eyes.

Jungkook's eyes softened as he took your hand. "Y/N, don't listen to them. You're more than enough for me. I love you, and that's all that matters. We're a great couple, and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else."

You felt relieved hearing his words, but your insecurities didn't disappear overnight. The comparisons and comments continued, and you found yourself pulling away from Jungkook. You didn't want to burden him with your thoughts and feelings, so you tried to deal with them on your own.

One day, you were driving to a restaurant for dinner in his car. The radio played softly in the background, but neither of you was talking. You were lost in your thoughts, and Jungkook seemed to notice.

"Y/N, is everything okay?" he asked, breaking the silence.

You hesitated before saying, "I just feel like I'm not good enough for you."

Jungkook sighed and pulled the car over to the side of the road. "Y/N, why do you keep saying that? I love you, and I don't want anyone else. You're perfect just the way you are."

"But, they keep saying how your ex-girlfriend was better for you. What if they're right?" you asked, tears streaming down your face.

Jungkook took your hand and looked at you, his eyes full of love and sincerity. "Y/N, listen to me. My past relationship is just that, in the past. We weren't meant to be together. You and I are meant to be together. You make me happy, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please don't let anyone else's opinions affect our relationship."

You looked at him and felt your heart swell with love for him. You knew he was right. You couldn't let anyone else's opinions affect your relationship with Jungkook.

"Jungkook, I love you too," you said, leaning over to kiss him.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. "I love you more, Y/N. And I promise to always be here for you, no matter what anyone else says."

You felt grateful for Jungkook's love and support. You knew that as long as you had him by your side, you could overcome any obstacle that came your way.

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risingode · 2 years ago

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releasing a small blurb today („• ᴗ •„)

#risingode

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risingode · 2 years ago

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Is there going to be a part 2 of I Know Places? I know she's hurt over that kiss, but now that Jake knows, they can come out with their relationship. She doesn't have to be a secret anymore. I hope they get back together.

i wrote it with an open ending in mind, but i think i’ll write part two! initially they ended up together in the end but on my previous story people were commenting that ‘y/n’ let jungkook off too easily so i made them break up for i know places 😭

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risingode · 2 years ago

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i alr lov ur writing ahhh

😭🤍 tysm this means so much to me <3

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risingode · 2 years ago

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Is there going to be another part of I Know Places?? Ahh I just read it and it broke my heart! I know why oc is hurt but I want to believe that JK did not know their friends were going to do that and that Dayeon would actually kiss him.

i’m wasn’t 100% sure on making a part two, i kinda wanted it to be an open ending, but now that i’m rereading it i kinda of want to make one LMAO

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risingode · 2 years ago

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love the two pieces you've put out so far! very excited to see what else you may have in store :))))))

thank you! 🤍🤍

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risingode · 2 years ago

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i know places

summary: you never imagined that reluctantly attending your brother's fraternity party would end up in you finding solace in his best friend, Jungkook. yet you do, and it leads to you sneaking around and beginning a secret relationship, but when Jungkook's childhood friend transfers to your school, the pressure mounts and you start to question the future.

pairing: jungkook x y/n

genre: fluff, angst

wc: 1.7k

please comment or message letting me know your thoughts! it helps motivate me :)

inspired by the lovely Taylor Swift <3

You sit nervously at the edge of the frat party, twirling your hair around your finger. You didn't want to be here, but your brother Jake insisted that you come. Being a freshman surrounded by college juniors and seniors, you couldn't help but feel a little out of place. Sighing, you shrink yourself further into the corner you had claimed, praying to all the god's above for the night to end.

It wasn't all that bad; you had to admit that your brother's frats definitely took the top spot in throwing these parties compared to others. Any other freshman girl would kill to be in your position, but it wasn't your preferred scene. Snapping out of your bored daze, you notice your brother's best friend, Jungkook, a junior, making his way over to you. He was tall and handsome, with tattoos littering his muscular arm and piercings decorating his beautiful face. You had always had a crush on him, but you knew that nothing could ever happen between you, especially not with Jake's strict rules about his friends and you, his sister.

"Hey, Y/N," Jungkook said with a smile. "You look a little uncomfortable. Do you want to come hang with me and some of my friends?"

Against your better judgment, you nodded nervously, following Jungkook through the crowded room. You couldn't help but feel a little more relaxed as you chatted and laughed with his friends. Jungkook had a way of making you feel comfortable, even in a place like this. Jake went up to you, ensuring you were okay, and left only when Jungkook promised to take care of you.

"C'mon Jake! Let her live a little. She's fine!" Jungkook pulls you closer by your shoulders, and you send a small smile toward your leering brother. He sighs, putting his hands up and walking away.

As the night went on, you found yourself getting drunker and drunker. It felt freeing to let loose after such a stressful week full of exams and assignments. Before you knew it, Jungkook had dragged you out to the dance floor. You laughed and danced with Jungkook, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. You knew it was wrong, and you knew Jake would absolutely wring both of your necks if he saw the close proximity between you. But then, out of nowhere, Jungkook leaned in and kissed you.

You were shocked at first, but then you found yourself kissing him back. It was like something had been building between you two for months, and now it was finally coming out. You broke apart, both breathing heavily.

"I shouldn't have done that," Jungkook said, looking guilty.

"Do you regret it?" You ask him, lightly scratching at the nape of his neck.

He huffs out a laugh, "No."

You smiled at him. "Then it's okay," you said. "I don't mind."

You spend the rest of the night together, stealing kisses between conversations. Your heart races every time you do, peering over your shoulder to ensure your brother isn't nearby. Jungkook just shook his head at you, pressing a hard kiss to the top of your head as he pulled you closer to him. As the party started to wind down, Jungkook pulled you aside.

"I should probably go," he said. "I don't want anyone to see us leaving together."

You nodded, feeling a little disappointed. You didn't want the moment to end but knew you had to be careful. As you turn to walk away from him, you feel a light grasp on your hand.

"Hey." He calls out to you. You turn around, facing the older man. "I'll see you later." He says, pressing a kiss to your hand before letting you go.

Summer passed quickly, and you and Jungkook continued your secret relationship. You would meet up late at night, sneaking around to avoid Jake and your friends. It was exhilarating. The thrill of it all made your relationship all the more illusory. You quickly confronted him, asking him what he felt about you and where he saw you two going.

"I thought it was obvious, Y/N." He replies, smiling. "I love you."

Those words cemented your decision to commit yourself fully and totally to him. Yet as the summer ended, you found yourself getting nervous. What would happen when you had to go back to school? Would it still be the same? It was his last year, after all. Would he really commit to you when he had so many options available once he graduated? He would always try to soothe your worries, though, never forgetting to make his feelings and loyalty for you clear. Yet your insecurities always lingered; try as he might squander them.

Sure enough, the new school year arrived, and you were now a sophomore while Jungkook began his senior year. You continued to sneak around, but you could feel the pressure building. Sometime in the middle of the first semester, Jungkook excitedly announced that his childhood friend, Dayeon, had recently transferred to your school. You were happy for him, it was clear that he was thrilled at the news, and he never failed to explain that she was like his sister. You weren't threatened. However, that all came crumbling down when everyone around him kept making it their mission to convince Jungkook to give Dayeon a chance. They kept telling him he had never had a "real relationship" and that Dayeon would be good for him. You wanted to yell in their faces, 'He has a girlfriend! Who he loves and cherishes! And who loves him back!' but all you could do was bite your tongue and tensely nod.

You tried to ignore it but couldn't help feeling like you were competing with Dayeon. You knew that Jungkook loved you. Hell, he had shown you in so many ways, even giving you a promise ring that you could only stare at because it would raise more questions than anything. Nevertheless, you couldn't shake the feeling that something would go wrong. Call it girlfriend's intuition.

You weren't going to go, even ignoring the pleas that rang from your phone's speaker as you rejected your boyfriend's invite, but seeing how you wrapped up before you thought you would, you decided to attend your brother's weekly house party. It honestly would do you more good than harm anyways. You had been so caught up in your schoolwork that you didn't even have time to see Jungkook the whole week. As you walked into the party, you heard the crowd cheering. Smiling, you follow the sounds of the shouting voices, eager to see the chaos that always inhabited your brother's parties. You looked over to where everyone was pointing and gasping and saw Jungkook and Dayeon standing in the middle of the room. They were being encouraged to kiss by the crowd, who egged the two of them on. Your heart sinks. He wouldn't, right?

You let out a tense gasp as Dayeon lunges forward and kisses Jungkook. You wanted to run away and hide, but your feet felt glued to the floor. When Jungkook finally pushed Dayeon away, your eyes met his, and his bashful smile dropped. You shake your head, trying past the crowd of cheering onlookers. Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook immediately chases after you, but his attempts prove futile as he's forced to see you drive away. He was too late.

You couldn't believe it. Your heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces. Sure, he pushed her away, but you couldn't shake the feeling in the pit of your stomach as you saw his smile, how he looked at the girl as he patted her head and forced her to stop trying to lunge in for another kiss. Did he think you were a joke? That the whole relationship you had built was nothing but a nasty hidden secret?

You cried herself to sleep that night and woke up feeling empty and lost. You didn't know what to do or how to feel. All your doubts and fears about your relationship came rushing back, and you felt like you had been living a lie.

The next day, Jungkook gathered all your friends to discuss what happened. He admitted to kissing Dayeon but clarified that his feelings for you were real and that the kiss had meant nothing. Jake was furious when he found out about the relationship and Jungkook's subsequent cheating and punched Jungkook in the face. Jungkook didn't retaliate. He knew he deserved it.

Later that day, Jake sat down with you and admitted to hitting Jungkook. He apologized for not taking better care of you and for letting you get hurt by one of his friends. You were shocked, a little guilty, yet somewhat relieved to hear your brother's words. It did little to mend your broken heart, and you wanted nothing more than to check up on Jungkook, but you knew that the right time would come to sort it all out.

Finally, the time came for you to sit down with Jungkook to talk things out. You both had a lot of emotions to work through and as you sit in front of the older man, tears running down your face, you realize that this wasn't how your life was supposed to be.

"You know," you begin, wiping the trailing tears away. "I think that this was meant to happen."

Jungkook frowns, his eyes darting all around your face, trying to discern what you are trying to say. You nodded to yourself, gathering the courage to voice your following words.

"I want to break up." Your words cast a horrified look onto his face.

"What?" He whispers, and you just nod again.

"I'm done sneaking around, Jungkook. I'm done being nothing more than a secret. I deserve to be shown off, to tell my parents that I have a boyfriend who I love and who loves me." You smile, "And I just don't think it's going to happen with us."

“Y/N …” His eyes are piercing into yours, trying to see if he could recognize an ounce of hesitance. He felt as if he couldn't breathe. His heart was beating so fast that he wouldn't be surprised if it somehow managed to jump out of his chest.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook. I love you, I do." You move to get up, walking toward the door and holding it open. "But loving you isn't enough to fix what you've broken."

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