risu75thirdblog

[risu75thirdblog]

having a body is so fucking high maintenance

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[risu75thirdblog]

- on childhood loneliness

@aphexxtween on tiktok/ @mazzystarjpg/ mastermind- taylor swift/ the virgin suicides/ @heavensickness/ if you’re anything like me- taylor swift/ pen15/ @mango-season

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I miss the days when you could see a cool image and didn’t have to analyse it to see if it’s actually AI

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not to be dramatic but sometimes i feel like i don't belong anywhere on this earth like maybe all there is for me is perpetual loneliness + constant desire to go back to a place that doesn’t exist anymore

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a little autistic

“everyone's a little bit like that,”

you tell me,

with a shrug, a laugh,

as if you’ve just cracked open the secret

to my existence.

no.

you don’t know what it’s like

to live in a body that betrays you

every time the lights are too bright,

the fabric too rough,

the world too loud.

you don’t know what it is

to cry from overstimulation

and have people look at you

like you’ve just thrown a tantrum.

you don’t know the ache

of speaking too loudly,

of watching people recoil

and realizing, too late,

that your volume is a crime

you didn’t mean to commit.

you don’t know the burn

of missing the joke,

of laughing one second too late,

or not at all,

and feeling the eyes on you

like knives.

you don’t know the isolation

of trying—god, trying—

to make a friend,

to talk,

only to be told you’re rude,

awkward,

too blunt,

when all you wanted

was to belong.

so no,

you are not “a little autistic.”

you are not exiled for the way you speak.

you are not punished

for breaking rules

that were never written down

but everyone else seems to know.

you are not built like this.

you do not live like this.

this is not your quirky cousin,

your weird little habit,

your oh, i totally do that too.

this is my life.

It carves me open,

day after day,

and still i wake up

and try again.

don't you dare reduce that

to “everyone’s a little autistic.”

[risu75thirdblog]

abnormally large trees please lend me some of your centuries worth of wisdom

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unfortunately being normal was never an option for me

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Some women will never want children in their life in any meaningful capacity. They don't want to give birth. They don't want to adopt. They don't want to be the fun auntie. They don't want to be a godmother. They don't want to work in a field with children. They will never change a child's diaper and don't believe their lack of childcare skills is a problem that needs fixing, because childcare is not a crucial part of the human experience, with billions of people on the planet. They go about their day while only seeing kids out at the grocery store or at the park, and nothing is missing from their lives.

The refusal to accept this is driving a global right-wing backlash movement.

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I am no longer explaining my chronic illnesses. I'm only ominously referencing them like I'm a fantasy realm NPC dropping plot hooks:

I am besieged by the affliction

The ritual was successful, but it has drained me. I need time to recuperate.

I can't do that, because of The Curse

Dark forces are conspiring within me. I must conserve my strength to battle them.

Unseen foes assault me. I cannot strike back with blows, but I can lessen their influence by consuming certain alchemical rites.

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"next time, log in faster with fingerprint/face/iris recognition!" how about i keep typing my password like i have for the past 25 years and you fuck off

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I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

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accepting that you’re objectively weird & owning it is infinitely better than being constantly desperate to appear normal to people who don’t even matter to you

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If you ever feel like a loser just remember there are people who are genuinely emotionally invested in the lives of the british royal family

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"if you don't believe in a literal eternal hell, what's the point of being a good person? you'll go to heaven either way, right?"

uhhhh... the point is that we're all human beings suffering on this spinning rock in space together?

and Christ calls us to care for each other and reduce the suffering in the world where we can?

and we should WANT to reduce suffering anyway because we've suffered ourselves and want to help others avoid that suffering as much as possible?

because good human beings have these weird things in their bodies called compassion and empathy?

golly.

[risu75thirdblog]

in the mood to roam the dark halls of a vampire’s castle with a candelabra in hand

[risu75thirdblog]

> read library book

> it's good

Thank you library