rmhyejin

[rmhyejin]

exhaustion settles in and she’s found a quiet corner in the cabin to claim as her own. it’s moving muscle & bone together to seek some semblance of normalcy. but she’s weighed down as if there’s smog in her chest, in her head — breathe and she’d smother everyone on the damn island. as if she could sink into negative space, some phantom-bruise untethered by this carnage of feelings she’s bound herself to ( a lesson on vulnerability & terrible choices that she never learns from again and again ). 

she looks down at her phone, fingers pausing over yejun’s number, half debating whether or not to call him. she should be exploring the island, clearing her head and sketching away by the shore. not hiding herself away like a hermit and dragging him into this pathetic state she’s stuck in. but perhaps misery loves company and hyejin’s internal monologue is interrupted: she hears him before she sees him. 

yejun’s mood is palpable ( just as hers ) but as usual something unknots inside of her effortlessly at his presence. 

a sigh — she drops her phone on the bed and moves to sit next to him, shoulder to shoulder, slumped against the foot of her bed. “well... the change of scenery ain’t half bad.” she offers some half hearted attempt at optimism. “how are things with your cabin?” hyejin turns her head to look at him, genuine concern in her words. her gaze is soft & unguarded, reserved only for those she holds close to her heart. “i heard she’s your cabin-mate... perhaps that’s a blessing in disguise, jun. at least one of us should come out of this trip less miserable than we did starting it.” 

by the toe

@rmhyejin​

the second he steps off of the motorboat, he knows where he’s going: not anywhere near cabin black because loyalty be damned at this hour, but to the one two doors down.

green. synonymous with tranquility, calm in the language of color psychology, the deepest hold of the earth with its emerald-blazed hills, sweeping flora and fauna, and whatever else tree-fucker poetics involve that he can’t care to indulge in. but it’s refuge he’s seeking, and refuge he’ll have one way or another. if not here, then elsewhere.

to his utmost relief, it appears there’s no need to go looking for it anywhere else.

ducking under the doorway, yejun’s steps are pronounced, falling heavy through the cabin. on better, brighter days, he’d put up the stealth act as those possessed by mischief do, but nothing is harmless about the way his shitty mood trails behind him, a presence so loud that it’d turned heads on his way down here. 

she’s turned away when he enters the room, face half hidden by loose beach waves. but there’s no need to do a double-take. real recognizes real, and there’s nothing that rings painfully true like their brand of misery. another summer, another lesson in romantics grown sour. 

he tosses his bag to a corner and drops to the ground, back slouched against the foot of hyejin’s bed. “can this trip be fucking done already?” 

[rmhyejin]

??/@

text meme ft. nam daeil 

send “⁇” for a drunk text.

( sms ➞ daeil ) um daeee,, why the world is upside down ? 

( sms ➞ daeil ) ....lol nvm i am 😐

( sms ➞ daeil ) fuck im neVER drinkig again

send “@” for a scared text.

( sms ➞ daeil ) whoever said this is a family movie LIED. 

( sms ➞ daeil ) pls tell me the dog lives 😨😱

[rmhyejin]

rpmememaker‌:

Send “✆” for a MORNING text. Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text. Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text. Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text. Send “#” for a RANDOM text. Send “@” for a SCARED text. Send “&” for a LOVING text. Send “%” for a CURIOUS text. Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text. Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text. Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text. 

[rmhyejin]

―half of halves.

@rmjae

a tirade for the fire & storm; 

      i. know that walls are built not to fall.  

moonlight stretches over the salt sea as sparks spit into the late night, flames curling over wood - a beacon on the beach drawing them all like moths to a flame. if this were another night, she'd have her teeth in the silver of the moon, laughing & joining the others in alcohol fuelled revelry. instead, alcohol is used tonight to numb & forget. but trying to forget him seems moot when she can see him in plain sight, sitting with another girl half in his lap ( in every version of this story there’s a disaster ). 

she knows she’s drinking too much but she can’t stop drowning memories & feelings as if they could be buried in her gut like some shameful secret ( that was all she was to him, wasn’t she? ). swallowing his affection and trying not to choke on it was an impossible task - it came with everything razor sharp and bitter ( look, the damage was already there ). and it’s happening again: some gnarled jaw clamping over her heart, tearing it to shreds. maybe their gazes meet some time during the night, maybe it's the trick of light. she feigns indifference either way. 

     ii. you want love soft? tough. 

hyejin’s head pounds like there are fingers sifting through her skull and the world sways as she stands. one foot in front of the other, she tells herself, calling it a night and heading back to her cabin. at some point she stumbles and almost falls, expecting a face full of sand but is met with something solid. someone solid. her hands reaches out to steady herself and her brain catches up half a second too late. the familiar build, the familiar scent. the way he holds her. she looks up at him ― 

                                                      and shoves him away. hard.

“aren’t you afraid people will see us?” but she forgets: there’s nothing to see. that much he’s made clear that summer break. 

her cold eyes. her raging eyes. eyes that once looked up at him mid-rapture, kissing his scars, praying for something  h o l y  for their sun starved souls. “or have you decided to play prince charming? is finally being captain not enough? ...no, wait... are you trying to look good for her?” unspoken hurt & confusion at being tossed aside without a word. “was she the reason why you didn’t answer my call?” 

[rmhyejin]

@rmsayuri

the sun had given way to lunar silence, letting the island bathe in a gentle glow. hyejin strolls away from the cabin grounds, still sober and all too awake, long hair tied in a messy bun. a stolen moment away from the others - only the wandering breeze to talk to. she finds a spot to sit and looks up at the darkening sky, the night stretched infinitely, a weightless suspension ( feeling trapped, three voids too mortal ). she tastes the soju in her hand, pitifully drinking alone - but she doesn’t mind. doesn’t mind it when the awning night calls to her, promising peace with dying stars in its gaping mouth. 

the rest of the camp’s revelry slips through the trees around her, faint and faraway ( someone laughs. loud. & hyejin drinks her soju ). the moments pass slowly as she looks up at the stars, coldness settling over her shoulders, a blessed contrast to the day’s heat. there’s approaching footsteps, a branch crunches, and her gaze snaps to the sole figure venturing into her hideaway. 

“had enough of the party—?” 

[rmhyejin]

update: finally got discord up & running again so add me at b.jpeg#2432 if you’d like to plot there! 

✦*.･ﾟ hey all! i’m b (aest, forever suffering @ uni, sorry i’m strolling into the intro tag incredibly late orz) and i bring you the resident jaegar ball of angst… choi hyejin! she’s a fine arts student majoring in traditional art. check out below for a short tl;dr!! if u wanna plot/muse/chat, don’t hesitate to send me an IM. alternatively like this post and i’ll msg u ♡♡♡

                (BIO / PROFILE / PLOTS )

Keep reading

[rmhyejin]

✦*.･ﾟ hey all! i’m b (aest, forever suffering @ uni, sorry i’m strolling into the intro tag incredibly late orz) and i bring you the resident jaegar ball of angst... choi hyejin! she’s a fine arts student majoring in traditional art. check out below for a short tl;dr!! if u wanna plot/muse/chat, don’t hesitate to send me an IM. alternatively like this post and i’ll msg u ♡♡♡

                (BIO / PROFILE / PLOTS )

tl;dr 

the single child of an ex-politician and ceramics sculpture artist. childhood was bliss, a princess adored with sunlight in her hair, but things changed abruptly in her teen years. 

her father was imprisoned on corruption charges (actually #framed because he had dirt on powerful ppl and was a danger to their authority). keeps quiet til this day since they threatened his family - hyejin still believes he’s guilty and hates him for it. sometimes she thinks this isn’t a story with a happy ending. 

was ostracised & bullied in high school (sheep mentality influenced by the media’s twisted coverage of her father’s fiasco), close ‘friends’ left her and ppl looked down at her for her father’s sins. who knows what other nasty rumours they spread... 

became more guarded & apathetic. no one could hurt her if she didn’t care. but she did care, fists clenched as she endured the humiliation before they pushed her too far. hence followed the recklessness, the uncontrollable anger. she won’t allow her family to be disrespected. 

fit right in at jaegar - rough around the edges, brutality the one thing she knows won’t betray her. but calmed down significantly @ gumi, though no less ambitious and sly. 

v loyal to jaegar and fellow team members. looks out for them in the games w her protective bubbles & shields. at the same time, will do nearly anything it takes to win. 

spends half of her time working on her art. she enjoys the solitude, the quiet in her mind when she’s focusing on painting. and for her it’s relaxation & therapy of some form. has probably attended class more than once with paint stains on her hands. 

deep down, she’s actually a marshmallow at heart... but has trust issues and is afraid to form deep emotional bonds. still, she wonders what it’d be like if she gave more people a chance.

in short, she’s just a wounded puppy that bites damn hard when provoked. 

[rmhyejin]

[rmhyejin]

fromanotherroom:

Clair De Lune playing from another room Claude Debussy

[rmhyejin]