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Me blasting it on the shared living room on YouTube back then
family: âwhy are you just sitting in ur room smiling at ur phone?â
me whoâs been reading smut about fictional characters for the past 6 hours:

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Fucking masterpiece
Home Is You
Paring: Neteyam x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader
Warnings: NSFW 18+, established relationship, flirting , smut, cheating (technically), mentions of sex tapes/hot pictures/videos, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of child birth, mentions of blood, gunshot wounds, loads of trauma, explicit language and acts, p in v, orals (m&f receiving), our man falls into a coma, memory loss, kissing, touching. (If I forgot anything please lmk)
Word Count: 49.1k
Disclaimer: All my characters are aged-up! If that bothers you, please do not interact with my account or any of my post! Also for the this fic, Kiri is the biological daughter of Jake and Neytiri.
Index: mauri - homes in the Metkayina Clan, yawne - beloved, tĂŹywan - love, kelku - homes in the Omatikaya Clan. (If I forgot anything please lmk)
Main M.List
You met Neteyam when your steps were still wobbly and your words mostly giggles. He was barely steadier than youâhis braids just beginning, his steps a little widerâbut from the moment he found you crouched near the roots of the Home Tree, you became his shadow. He toddled up with a half-eaten yovo fruit and, without hesitation, tore it in two with clumsy fingers, offering you the larger half. It was sticky and sweet, and you always remembered it as the moment he chose you. And maybe⌠the moment you chose him too.
From then on, it was rare to see one of you without the other. You learned to walk together, your hands often tangled as you teetered around the village. When you fell, heâd help you up, and when he tripped, youâd sit beside him until he stood again. The other adults would chuckle at the sightâtiny footsteps weaving through the forest, your matching laughter echoing through the trees. Youâd nap curled beside him in the Sullyâs hammock during long afternoons, Neteyamâs hand always reaching for yours in sleep, even when heâd roll away. Jake would raise a brow and smirk knowingly. Neytiri would only smile, brushing your hair back and calling you syulang, her little flower. They saw it earlyâwhat you and Neteyam would someday becomeâeven when you were still too young to understand it yourselves.
You both remembered when Neytiri was pregnant with KiriâNeteyam was confused at first, always poking at his motherâs growing belly and asking when the baby would âstop hiding.â You didnât understand it either, but you liked resting your head beside him on Neytiriâs belly, watching it move as little Kiri rolled inside. When she was finally born, Neteyam was speechless, wide-eyed and soft as he held her tiny hand. âSheâs mine,â he whispered to you with the quiet pride only a big brother could wear. You just nodded, understanding without needing to speak.
Then came Loâak. You were both a bit olderâNeteyam nearly sixâand you still remember when Neytiri told you heâd be getting a brother. Neteyam practically vibrated with excitement, dragging you around the village talking about all the things heâd teach his brother: how to climb, how to throw a spear, how to chase glow bugs at night. âAnd Iâll teach him how to protect you,â he added casually, like it was obvious. You just smiled and said, âHeâll have the best big brother.â When Loâak was born, Neteyam wasnât overwhelmed like with Kiriâhe was ready this time. âIâm gonna be the best,â he told you, gently adjusting the babyâs blanket like he was holding the future. He even whispered to Loâak that he already had a best friendâand that it was you.
Those years were full of joy. Your days were endless stretches of running through the forest, racing along vines, whispering secrets while hidden in the high tree canopies. You shared everythingâfruit, beads, bruises, laughter. When Tuk was born and made the family five, you both stood over her, older now, understanding just how sacred it was to grow up surrounded by love. Neteyam pressed a kiss to her forehead, then turned to you. âI hope she finds someone like you,â he whispered, and you pretended not to hear how warm your cheeks became.
Jake often joked that youâd been adopted by the Sullys long before any ceremony could make it true. Neytiri treated you like a daughter, braiding feathers into your hair with loving fingers, scolding you just as gently as she would Neteyam. And sometimes, when she caught the two of you dozing in a sunbeam, limbs tangled and breath in sync, sheâd just exchange a look with Jakeâa knowing one. The kind that said, itâs always been them.
By the time you were thirteen and Neteyam fourteen, you were no longer just playmates. You were partners in everything: training, learning, dreaming. But even then, the purest part of your bond was the way you looked at each otherâlike somehow, in all the chaos and beauty of the forest, you had each found home.
When Neteyam turned fourteen, the village buzzed with anticipation. It was also his timeâhis rite of passage, the long-awaited climb to the floating mountains to claim his ikran. You werenât allowed to go with him, though Eywa knew you tried to convince the elders otherwise. âIâll just hide behind the rocks,â you had argued, arms crossed and defiant. But Jake only ruffled your hair, and Neytiri kissed your cheek with a chuckle. âYouâll have your turn, little one. Let him fly.â
You waited at the edge of the village the entire day, pacing, chewing your bottom lip, weaving and unweaving a small bracelet youâd started just to keep your hands busy. Every time you looked up, your eyes searched the skies, your heart jumping at the faintest sound of wings. And then, finally, you saw him.
Neteyam came soaring over the trees with the wind in his braids and the sun blazing behind him, riding the back of a fierce, sharp-beaked blue ikran. His smile was wide, radiant, full of victory. His yips of joy echoed across the forest and lit something wild in your chest. You didnât wait. You ranâbare feet pounding across the ground, eyes stinging with happy tearsâand launched yourself into his arms the moment he landed. He caught you effortlessly, laughing as you wrapped your arms and legs around him like a clingy yip-yip. âI did it,â he whispered into your neck, and you just nodded, tears soaking his shoulder. âI know,â you breathed. âI never doubted you.â
The next night, the village danced in celebration. Neteyam completed his Dream Hunt, bringing back a successful kill and presenting it with reverence. The people welcomed him as one of themâwith chants, with firelight, with the steady pounding of drums. You stood beside his family, your heart full of pride. Loâak teased you all night, nudging your shoulder and muttering, âYouâre gonna cry again, arenât you?â And you did. But you didnât care, you were so proud of him.
A year later, when you turned fourteen, it was your turn. And just like you had waited for him, Neteyam waited for you. He rose before the suns and flew to the floating mountains ahead of you, perched among the cliffs like a silent shadow waiting for you to arrive. You knew he was there watching, waiting, smiling. When you approached the ikran rookery, heart pounding, palms sweaty, your eyes fierce with determination, you didnât know that far above, Neteyam held his breath with pride as he followed you below the waterfall, âyou got this. Remember what I taught you.â
You tamed your ikran with grace and fire, your spirit strong and your heart steady. And when you paused. Neteyam ran up to you holding the rope around your ikranâs mouth and guided her to face the edge of the cliff. âFirst flight seals the bond, think fly.â
âFly?â And just like that you took off, quickly finding a way to steady yourself in the back of your now winged companion, the grin on your face nearly split you open. He stood there on the cliff, hands cupped around his mouth as he cheered for you. You returned home flying side by side with feathers tangled in your braids and windburn on your cheeks, your soul forever changed. When you landed, Neteyam was the first to greet you. His hands framed your face, his eyes bright. âYou were beautiful up there,â he said softly. âLike you were born to fly.â
You became one of the people that night, dancing beside Neteyam around the flames, your foreheads pressed together as the village sang for you. Jake lifted you into a strong embrace, calling you daughter with pride. Neytiri wept and braided a special feather into your hair. Kiri held your hand the whole ceremony. Even Loâak, grinning ear to ear, handed you a carved piece of bone shaped like a little ikran.
And Neteyam? He stood behind you the entire night, his hand warm on your waist, his eyes only ever on you. You were no longer just his shadow. You were his equal now, his partner. And it was written in every look he gave you.
The glances you exchanged held a different weight. Now you were fifteen and he was sixteen your bodies had begun to shift, youâd noticed it first in his arms, how theyâd grown thicker with muscle from climbing, hunting, training. His chest had broadened, his voice deeper now, richer. You caught yourself watching him from the corner of your eye as he helped build or skin a kill, your stomach flipping each time his back flexed under the stretch of his bowstring. And he noticed you, too. Your hips had begun to curve, your stride more fluid. The paint across your chest during ceremonies now made his mouth go dry. You would catch him staring sometimes, pupils wide, a subtle swallow in his throat as he looked away too late. Neteyam wasnât good at hiding it, and his siblings were relentless.
Loâak smirked every time you came around. âYouâre staring again, big bro,â heâd nudge with his elbow, loud enough for you to hear, making your ears burn. Tuk would giggle and whisper, âYouâre always looking at her,â and Kiri would grin with that knowing look and mutter, âYouâve got it bad.â Even Jake noticed, pulling Neteyam aside once with a teasing tone and a raised brow. âKeep your eyes in your head, kid. Youâre not subtle.â
The heat between you two thickened during sparring practice. Heâd pin you, hand against your hip to brace you, and linger a second too long. Youâd roll over him to escape, but not before he noticed the way your breath caught. Your touches began to last longer, skin to skin in the most innocent ways that didnât feel innocent anymore. Then came a moment, that humid afternoon after a hunt, when he walked behind you, offering water. You took it, brushing his fingers, and when you turned, his gaze was already on your mouth. His ears twitched, his throat moved like he wanted to speak. He didnât. But his eyes said it all.
It started slowly, the shift in how others looked at you both. At first, it was almost laughable, how the same boys who used to pull your braid now stammered when you smiled. Or how the girls, once shy around Neteyam, now found every excuse to ask for help, compliments bubbling on their tongues.
You had grown used to the lingering stares, but what you hadnât expected was Neteyamâs silence when one of the older hunters, Rokean, offered to walk you back to your kelku after training. You caught the flicker in Neteyamâs jaw, the way he adjusted his stance, too stiff, too still. Later, while cleaning your bowstring by the fire, he dropped down beside you with a grunt.
âDidnât know you needed someone to walk you home now,â he said casually, picking at a loose thread on his chest strap. You paused. âDidnât know I needed your permission either.â
His eyes flicked to you, sharp and unreadable. âYou didnât say no.â You scoffed. âI didnât say yes, either. I was being polite.â
He leaned back, resting on his elbows, exhaling slowly. âHe looked like he was ready to offer you his entire kill pile just to get you to smile again.â You turned to face him. âWhatâs your problem, Neteyam?â
âMy problem,â he said, voice low, âis that Iâve seen the way you smile at me â and then I have to watch you give that same smile to someone else like it means nothing.â Your breath caught, heart hammering, but before you could snap back, the loud sound of laughter echoed nearby.
âOhh nooo,â Loâak sing-songed, appearing from behind a cluster of trees, arms slung around Kiri. âTheyâre arguing again. Whatâs this time? Another boy tried to breathe near her?â
âOr a girl complimented his braid?â Kiri added dryly. You rolled your eyes and Neteyam looked away, lips twitching. Then came the softest voice.
âYouâre not supposed to fight,â Tuk mumbled as she padded up, holding a leaf plate of fruit. âYouâre supposed to love each other. Like kisses and hugs and babies.â
Both of your faces snapped toward her in horror. âTUK!â you squeaked. Neteyam choked on nothing. âWhat?!â
Little Tuk blinked slowly. âThatâs what mama said happens when people love each other too much.â
The rest of the Sully family burst out laughing. Even Jake couldnât hold it in. Neytiri buried her face in her hands, half-mortified, half-delighted. âYouâre grounded,â Neteyam muttered, ruffling Tukâs hair. âNo, you are,â she said proudly. âYouâre grumpy.â
You were trying not to laugh, your annoyance slipping away with the warmth of everyone around you. Neteyam leaned closer, voice quiet. âStill mad?â You didnât answer, just nudged his knee with yours. He smiled. âDidnât think so.â And though you didnât say a word, the way your hand slipped into his as you walked off together made everyone, including Tuk, smile behind your backs.
But the jealousy went both ways, you just went as leveled headed as Neteyam. One day, you sat on a mossy stone near the gathering circle, fletching your arrows and pretending not to watch the lesson. Neteyam was helping Airi, one of the older girls in the village with her bow grip. She wasnât exactly subtle, letting her hand brush his, laughing too loud at everything he said.
Your jaw clenched as you scraped the feather too hard, splitting it. Great. Across the circle, Kiri noticed. She nudged Loâak. âUh oh. Sheâs got that look again.â Loâak followed your glare and snorted. âPoor Airi. Sheâs about to get shredded.â You stood, trying to keep your face neutral, and walked over just as Neteyam leaned in to adjust Airiâs arm. âHmm,â you said lightly, arms folded. âDidnât know bow training required that much touching.â Neteyam blinked, surprised, and then grinned. âJust making sure her stance is right.â
Airi smiled too sweetly. âHeâs very helpful.â
You gave her a polite but tight smile. âHeâs also very taken. Or is that part unclear?â
Airi blinked, caught off guard, her hand still awkwardly on Neteyamâs arm. âOhâI didnât mean anything, I didnât thinkââ
âI know you didnât thinkt.â You didnât raise your voice, but it was firm with the same smile. âMaybe thatâs the problem.â A beat of silence passed, thick and awkward. Airi gave a small, forced laugh, murmured something about needing to help her mother, and quickly walked off.
The second she was out of earshot, Neteyam let out a low whistle and crossed his arms, eyeing you with open amusement. âDamn.â
You turned toward him slowly, still tense. âDonât.â
âDonât what?â His grin widened. âSay how hot that was?â
You shot him a look. âYou didnât stop her.â
âI didnât even see her coming,â he said, laughing. âI was halfway through talking to Loâak about hunting patterns. She ambushed me.â
You huffed, still annoyed. Neteyam tilted his head, stepping closer. âYou know, itâs funny.â
âWhat?â
âI donât have a girlfriend.â Your eyes narrowed and put your hand to rest on your hip very sassily. âReally?â
âReally,â he repeated, voice low and teasing. âNo official titles. No agreements. Nothing carved in stone.â
Your chest twisted. You hated when he did this, danced the line between teasing and truth, between almost and not quiet.
Then he leaned closer, eyes locking on yours. âBut if I did? You know itâd be you.â You froze, caught completely off guard. Your lips parted, but no sound came out. From behind, a snort of laughter broke the tension, Loâak, of course. âYou guys are exhausting.â
Kiri added dryly, âOne of these days youâre both just going to explode from the tension and take the whole kelku with you.â
âI like her better than the other girl,â Tuk said seriously, tugging on Neteyamâs tail. âSheâs prettier. And funnier. And nicer.â You buried your face in your hands.
Neteyam chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist. âCanât argue with that.â You didnât pull away. You couldnât. Not when he was this close, warm and solid and entirely too pleased with himself. And even though you wanted to stay mad⌠part of you was glowing. Because for all his teasing, you knew he meant it.
A few years passed, just like that. What started as sleepovers and sharing fruit as toddlers had blossomed into something much deeper, something no longer so easy to ignore. By the time you were seventeen and Neteyam had just turned eighteen, the change between you had settled in quietly but unmistakably.
The flirting had evolved from playful to lingering. The touches â brushing hands as you passed, his palm against your back when you ducked beneath the trees â stayed just a little too long. And the jealousy⌠that hadnât faded. If anything, it had grown more obvious. You saw it in the way Neteyam went stiff whenever another boy tried to flirt with you during hunts or communal dinners. Just like how your stomach would twist when one of the village girls leaned too close to him, laughing too loud at something he hadnât even said.
Everyone saw it â the whole family. Kiri gave you side-eyes, Tuk giggled whenever she caught the two of you looking at each other. Even Jake had exchanged a knowing look with Neytiri once when Neteyam instinctively reached for your hand as you crossed a riverbank. Still, nothing had been said. Until the night he finally did.
Neteyam had asked you to meet him just after eclipse, near the glade where youâd learned to climb as kids. You thought maybe it was another stargazing night, like the ones you often shared in silence. But when you arrived, your breath caught.
He had cleared a space in the grass and lined it with soft, glowing petals. A few hung from nearby branches â not too many, just enough to make the air feel alive with light. In the center, he stood waiting, hands behind his back, eyes brighter than youâd ever seen them.
âYou remember this place?â he asked softly, watching your face. You nodded. âYou dared me to climb that tree,â you smiled, pointing up. âYou had to carry me down after I got stuck halfway.â He chuckled, stepping closer. âIâve carried you through a lot since then.â Your stomach twisted in the best way.
He took your hands in his. âI didnât know how to say it before. I didnât want to ruin what we had. But I canât hold it anymore.â
Your heartbeat like thunder in your chest. âI love you,â he said. Simply. âI have for years. Youâre my best friend, my peace, the only thing that feels right no matter what else changes.â You stared up at him, blinking fast, your chest tight.
He smiled, breathless now. âAnd if Iâm lucky⌠maybe you feel the same.â You didnât answer with words. You stepped forward and pulled him into a hug so tight it nearly knocked the wind from him.
âI see you,â you whispered against his skin, and he melted.
When you pulled back, your eyes were glassy. âIâve loved you too. I just didnât know how to say it either.â
His smile was the softest youâd ever seen. âYou didnât have to. I think Iâve always known.â
And when he kissed you â slow, reverent, trembling just slightly â it felt like the end of a question youâd both been asking for years. Ever since that night under the stars, everything between you and Neteyam had shifted.
There was no more wondering, no more hesitation, no more hiding behind half-glances and lingering touches. Now you could hold his hand openly in the village, sit a little closer during meals, steal little kisses when no one was watching. But the problem was⌠people were watching.
It started innocently enough. A few days after youâd officially become a couple, Neytiri had walked into the family kelku earlier than expected and found the two of you curled up in Neteyamâs hammock. Fully clothed, mostly, but definitely tangled together, your hands beneath his chest wrap and his lips pressed against your neck like he had no plans to stop.
She didnât say anything, not at first. Just blinked, paused⌠and then quietly backed out of the space with a small smirk that left you burying your face in Neteyamâs shoulder while he cursed softly under his breath.
âSheâs going to tell everyone, âYou groaned. âShe probably already has,â he whispered, but he kissed you again anyway. After that, the teasing began.
Loâak was the first to weaponize it. He caught you and Neteyam just outside the edge of the forest, your back against a tree and your mateâs hands far too low on your hips for brotherly comfort. Loâak didnât even pause â just whistled as he passed.
âDonât mind me, just trying to avoid eye contact so I can keep my vision,â he said loudly, laughing all the way back to the village.
Then came Kiri, who found you both late one night when she came to retrieve a healing pouch from the supplies and opened the wrong curtain â only to find Neteyam halfway beneath your wrap and your legs around his waist.
âAHHHH!!â she squeaked, backing out so fast she knocked over a water basin. The two of you froze, staring wide-eyed at the closed flap.
Even Tuk caught youâŚTwice. Once during a morning swim, when Neteyam pulled you into his lap and whispered something you really shouldnât have giggled at. Tuk popped out of the water like a fish, wide-eyed and innocent. âWhy is your face all red?â she asked you curiously. âDid Neteyam say something naughty?â
âGo swim,â Neteyam said immediately, flustered. âGo!â
The last time youâd been caught, it had taken a full week for Loâak to stop whistling teasingly every time you and Neteyam so much as stood near each other. But today, the pull between you was too strong. Just a few stolen minutes behind the large cluster of flowering trees near the family kelkuâit wasnât far, but just out of sight.
Neteyam had you pinned gently to the forest floor, his broad, paint-streaked body curled over yours, propped on his elbows to avoid crushing you. One hand was tangled in your hair, the other⌠was not where it shouldâve been, tugging your tweng slightly aside as his mouth met yours over and over. The air between you was breathlessâsweet, gasping kisses exchanged like secrets.
You had your hands on his back, fingers pressing into the muscle at his sides as you whispered, âNeteyamââ Then came a very small gasp.
âNeteyam?â a tiny voice squeaked. Both of you jolted in unison. There, just a few feet away, stood Tuk, eyes huge, hands clutching her toy beads. She looked confused. Then her lower lip quivered.
âMommy!â she screamed at the top of her lungs. âNETEYAM IS HURTING HER!!â Your heart stopped.
âTuk, no! Wait, Iâm notââ You scrambled up, dragging your tweng back into place, face burning.
Neteyam looked like Eywa herself had struck him. âTukâitâs not what it looks like!â Too late.
Tuk had already darted off in a blur, hollering, âMOMMY! COME FAST!â Seconds passed in a panicked blur before Neytiri burst into the clearing, bow drawnâfollowed closely by Jake, Loâak, Kiri, and an already-snorting Tuk. The scene they arrived to? You, breathless and flushed, your hair mussed. Neteyam crouched beside you, shirtless as always, hands raised like he was surrendering to the Great Mother herself.
âSheâshe thought I wasââ he started.
âI thought she was hurt!!â Tuk insisted, tears pooling in her wide golden eyes. âShe was saying âNeteyamâwaitâââ
âOh Eywa,â you groaned, dropping your face into your hands. Jake turned away, trying not to laugh. Loâak didnât bother trying. âBro. Again?!â
Neytiri sighed deeply and gave her son a long look. âGreat mother Neteyam.â
âOh my Eywa,â Kiri echoed, arms crossed.
Meanwhile, Tuk sniffled into Neytiriâs side, still confused. âBut why was her tweng pulled down again?â You shrieked in embarrassment, as Kiri and Loâak started and uproar
Neteyam wrapped an arm around your shoulders and leaned in, whispering with a smug smile, âNext time⌠high in the trees?â You elbowed him. âNext time? There wonât be a next time.â
It had been years in the making, the two of you growing up entangled in a love that had bloomed slowly and deeply, like roots stretching beneath the forest floor. Everyone had seen it comingâlong before either of you were ready to admit it. The glances, the lingering touches, the way Neteyamâs eyes always searched for you in a crowd and the way your laughter always came easiest in his presence. But still, nothing prepared you for the day he asked you to be his mate.
Youâd been walking together through the forest, side by side as you always had, your fingers brushing now and then as they often did. He was quiet that day, more thoughtful than usual. You didnât know where he was leading you until you reached that ridge above the canopyâthe one with the clearest view of the floating mountains. Youâd sat there many times before, watching the banshees in the distance, the sky changing colors like a slow-burning fire. But this time, he turned to you with a look in his eyes you hadnât seen beforeâsoft, certain, a little nervous.
âIâve known this since we were children,â he said, his hands gently taking yours. âEven before I knew what it meant⌠I knew you were mine. I want to make that true in the eyes of Eywa. Will you choose me? Will you mate with me for life?â
Your heart stilled, then surged. You had loved him for as long as you could rememberâthrough the awkward childhood years, the teasing, the jealous stares, the stolen kisses behind trees. It was never a question. âYes,â you whispered. âAlways, Neteyam.â
He exhaled, his forehead resting against yours, both of you whispering, âOel ngati kameie.â His lips brushed yours thenâslow, reverent, full of all the promises he hadnât yet spoken aloud. There was no pressure, no rush. Just love. You would wait for the ceremony. You would wait for each other.
The engagement celebration arrived just a few days later, and the entire clan seemed to vibrate with joy. Music echoed through the trees, lightstones glowing in woven vines above the gathering space. Neytiri had helped braid your hair that morning, her hands gentle as she whispered about her own mating to Jake, about the sweetness and seriousness of the commitment you were about to take. Jake, on the other hand, gave Neteyam a mock stern look and muttered, âIâm so proud of you boy. You earned a good one. Just try to keep it in your tweng until after the ceremony, yeah?â
Kiri hugged you both, whispering, âDonât think we havenât noticed all the disappearing acts and stolen touches. Eywa has eyes, you know.â Even Loâak smirked and raised his drink in a toast. âTo the two worst liars in the family.â Tuk, sweet and wide-eyed, had thrown flower petals at your feet and loudly declared, âNow you get to kiss forever!â
As tradition dictated, you and Neteyam exchanged woven bands of hand-dyed fibers, made from plants you had both gathered together during a quiet week of preparing. They were simple, but beautifulâyour initials carved in tiny beads sewn into the weave. You danced beneath the moonlight, your bodies close, eyes locked, his hand warm on your waist. It felt like flying.
Later, when the songs faded and the laughter quieted, Neteyam took your hand once more and led you to your new shared kelku, tucked beneath the giant roots of a banyan tree not far from his familyâs. Youâd helped build it together, but tonight was the first time you saw it finished. Lightstones glowed warmly inside. Feathers and woven flowers draped along the doorway, and the bed of moss and pelts was soft and inviting.
âI wanted it perfect,â he murmured, pulling back the curtain of vines to let you step inside first. Your breath caught as you turned, meeting his gaze. âIt is.â
Inside, he was gentleâso gentle. Every kiss felt like a prayer, every touch reverent. You had both waited for this night, saved yourselves for it. There was laughter and clumsy shifting, soft sighs and long-held gazes. He murmured your name again and again, like a vow. And when the moment finally came, when you gave yourselves fully to one another, it wasnât rushed or fiery or awkward. It was sacred. Yours. Together.
He held you through it, whispering encouragement, kissing away your nervousness, moving slow and with care. You clung to him, heart pounding, breath catching in your throat when pleasure overtook pain, and you realized just how deeply he loved you.
After, you lay tangled together, your head on his chest, your hand curled over his heart. The air still held the scent of the flowers heâd hung earlier, and the sounds of the forest hummed softly around you like a lullaby. He kissed your hair and whispered, âYou are my forever, yawne.â You smiled against his skin. âAnd you are mine.â
Outside, the stars blinked gently through the treetops, and the moon cast soft light across your new home. And inside, beneath warm furs and whispered breaths, you slept curled in each otherâs arms, truly mated, body and soul.
Not long after you and Neteyam were officially mated, it happened â you became pregnant. The signs came slowly at first. Your body began to change in subtle ways: your energy dipped, your appetite shifted, and there was a soft heaviness blooming low in your belly. Neteyam noticed before anyone else, before even you. He started watching you more carefully, guiding your steps when walking through thick roots, brushing your hair away from your face when you were tired, lingering with his hand over your abdomen when you rested. He didnât say anything for a few days â just watched, waited, and loved you all the more gently.
When you finally told him, you placed his hand over your growing belly. You didnât have to say anything; his eyes widened, and his whole expression softened into something almost reverent. âA baby,â he breathed. âOur baby.â And then he kissed you â slow and deep and full of wonder â before pulling you tightly into his arms. âEywa has truly blessed us,â he whispered, voice thick with emotion. âI will take care of you both. Always.â
The Sully familyâs reaction was just as emotional. Neytiri pressed her forehead to yours and wept, hands cradling your cheeks as she whispered a motherâs blessing over you. Jake grinned and clapped Neteyam on the shoulder, shaking his head in amazement. âThatâs my boy,â he said, laughing quietly. âStarting his own clan already.â Kiri was immediately fussing over you â bringing herbs, creating teas to ease discomfort, and weaving protective beads into your hair. Loâak smirked and muttered, âGreat, now thereâs gonna be a mini you running around,â but even he couldnât hide the pride in his voice. Tuk was simply overjoyed. She wrapped her arms around your stomach and spoke to the baby as if they could already understand her. âIâm going to teach you all my games,â she promised seriously. âAnd weâll eat fruit and swim and make trouble.â
As the seasons passed and your belly grew round with new life, you were never alone. The entire Sully family wrapped you in love and care. Clan members stopped by with gifts â soft cloth for the baby wrap, carved toys, fruits and roots rich with nutrients. Neteyam, though, was your constant. He helped you bathe in the cool springs when your back ached, carried you when your legs tired, massaged your feet when you couldnât sleep. His hands were always gentle, reverent. He spoke to your belly each night, whispering stories, dreams, and promises. âYou are already so loved, little one,â heâd say. âYour mother is the strongest soul I know. Youâre safe with us.â
Then, one evening, the pain began. It started as a low pressure in your back, then came the waves â tightening, pulsing, until your body was trembling with effort. Neteyam didnât panic. He scooped you up and brought you to your kelku, calling softly for his mother. Neytiri arrived swiftly, calm and collected. âIt is time,â she said, brushing your sweat-dampened hair from your face. âBreathe, maâite. I will help you bring this child into the world.â
Neteyam knelt at your side, holding your hand, grounding you with his touch. âYouâre doing so well,â he whispered, kissing your temple between contractions. âIâm here. Iâm right here.â
Neytiri worked with the grace and strength of a seasoned mother. She guided you through each wave, spoke calmly even when your cries rose with the intensity. You gripped Neteyamâs hand, locked eyes with him, and knew â you could do this. With his love. With his strength. With your own. And then â a cry. Not yours.
Your baby was born under the canopy of night, with Neytiri lifting him gently into the air, his small limbs flailing, his voice strong and full of life. âA son,â she said, her own eyes shining as she handed him to you. âYou have a son.â
Tears streamed down your face as you cradled him to your chest. Neteyam leaned close, arms around both of you, trembling with joy. âHeâs perfect,â he whispered. âYou did it, yawne. You gave us a son.â
The family came soon after, quiet and wide-eyed. âHis name is Eylan.â Neteyam told everyone. Neytiri placed a kiss on your forehead. Jake kissed his grandsonâs tiny hand. Kiri smiled with misty eyes. Loâak and Tuk peeked from behind the doorway until they were invited in, and Tuk gasped, clutching her mouth. âHeâs so small,â she whispered. âCan I hold him?â
That night, your kelku glowed with woven lanterns, the scent of sweet herbs, and the sound of lullabies. Neteyam held you close, his son resting on your chest, and whispered, âThis is our beginning. And I will love you both for the rest of my life.â Time had a strange way of moving when your days were filled with joy.
Eylan turned one beneath the thick canopy of Home Tree, surrounded by warmth, song, and laughter. His wide amber eyes sparkled with the curiosity of his father, and his tiny feet already tried to run before they could walk properly. He giggled with wild abandon, often tumbling into arms always waiting to catch him â yours, Neteyamâs, or someone from the Sully family, all of whom adored him beyond reason.
Neteyam carved him a tiny wooden ikran, polished smooth with love, and painted it with soft, natural dyes. âSo you can fly even before youâre big enough to ride,â he whispered to his son, lifting him high into the air with a grin as Eylan squealed in delight. That moment was one of hundreds. Every day, Neteyam would swing Eylan onto his shoulders and run with him through the trees, climbing, laughing, teaching him the sounds of the forest and the names of the creatures they passed. âThis is your home,â he would say gently, tapping Eylanâs chest with two fingers. âHere, and here with us.â
The Sully family was hopelessly smitten with him. Tuk was his favorite playmate, often letting him ride on her back like a direhorse, giggling as she neighed and galloped through the roots of Home Tree. Kiri braided tiny strings of flowers into his baby hair, whispering gentle stories of Eywa, and Loâak â despite pretending to be too cool â secretly carved Eylan little animals out of soft wood, sneaking them into his sleeping furs at night.
Even Jake, who was always so focused, would sit down with Eylan and bounce him on his knee, speaking to him in English and Naâvi, smiling despite himself when the baby would babble back nonsense. Neytiri taught you how to soothe him when he cried and helped you prepare his first bow â though it was mostly for show, since Eylan liked to chew on it more than anything.
And between it all â it was you and Neteyam. Your bond grew even deeper, grounded in shared parenthood, laughter, and exhaustion. Late nights swaying with Eylan between your bodies, mornings where you awoke to Neteyam cradling him on his chest, humming softly, eyes half-lidded with peace. He was the most patient, most loving father you could have dreamed of. He told you that he had never known a love like this before â not just for his child, but for you, the mother of his son.
âEywa has blessed me more than I deserve,â he said once, eyes locked on you both while you nursed Eylan under the flowering branches of a quiet grove. âYouâve made me a father, a mate⌠a man.â But peace doesnât last forever.
The Sky People returned like a storm â metal crashing from the skies, fire scorching the land. In that first wave, everyone fought. Even Neteyam, young but fierce, took to the air with his bow and his ikran to defend what mattered most. For a full year, the Sullys waged war at the edges of the forest â watching, protecting, ambushing.
You kept Eylan close, never letting him out of your sight. Neteyam came back to you every night, stained with ash or blood or both, always checking to see his son sleeping safely in your arms before allowing himself to breathe.
There were nights where he didnât speak â only held you and buried his face in your neck. âI donât want him to grow up like this,â he murmured once, voice breaking. âHe deserves to know trees, not fire.â When Eylan turned two, Jake finally said the words that shattered your heart: We have to go.
Neteyam protested quietly but understood. âTo protect Eylan,â he said, holding his son tighter that night, âwe must let go of everything weâve ever known.â
The night before you left, you and Neteyam stood hand in hand, watching your kelku â the home where Eylan took his first steps, where Neteyam carved lullabies into the walls â one last time. You whispered blessings to the trees, and Neteyam lifted your sleeping son to the stars. âEywa, guide us,â he said. âGuide our family to where he can be free.â And with hearts both heavy and hopeful, you turned toward the sea.
The sea was not the forest â not in the way it whispered, not in the way it held you â but in time, it became a new kind of home.
Arriving at the Metkayina village had been overwhelming. The open skies and endless horizon felt like another world entirely compared to the thick canopy you had once called home. You remembered how Eylan had clung to Neteyamâs shoulders, wide-eyed and quiet, watching the turquoise waves roll beneath the woven walkways.
You had been welcomed with caution. The Metkayina were kind, but wary. Their ways were not yours. Your bodies were different. Your tongues spoke in a slightly different rhythm. But you learned â all of you.
Neytiri, though her heart still longed for the trees, adapted with quiet grace. Jake trained beside Tonowari, his voice always calm but commanding. Kiri thrived â as if sheâd been born from the sea itself. Tuk learned fast, her tiny braids always dripping with salt water, and Loâak⌠well, Loâak found love.
Tsireya â beautiful, graceful, radiant. Her laughter was a melody that rang through the cove like birdsong, and Loâak fell fast and hard. It was the kind of love that snuck up on him, the way it had for you and Neteyam all those years ago. She became a sister to you, her presence a comfort and joy. Her family welcomed you all in time â friendships forged through hardship, trust, and time. Ronal eventually softened, especially when she saw the way you raised your children with the same fire and patience she held for her own.
You remembered when Neteyam first brought you to the deeper reefs. Your fingers laced, the sun cutting gold through the waves as he taught you how to dive with your whole body, how to let the sea carry you. âThis is freedom too,â heâd whispered against your skin as you surfaced, breathless and laughing. âJust a different kind.â Four years passed like water slipping through your fingers, quietly, steadily.
Eylan grew into a wild-hearted six-year-old, just like his father. He was fearless in the water, nimble with his ilu, sharp-eyed and fast. He learned to dive before many of the Metkayina children his age, and Tonowari even joked once that âthe forest boy mustâve been born in the waves.â Neteyam beamed with pride, always the first to cheer when his son surfaced from a dive or speared his first fish.
Your family expanded, love growing even deeper between you and Neteyam. One starlit night, under a blanket of bioluminescent light dancing across the sea, you told him you were expecting again. He cried softly, cradling your belly with reverence. âEywa gives me everything I never knew I needed,â he murmured into your neck. âYou, our sons⌠our life.â
From the moment Likan was born, the Sully kelku overflowed with even more laughter, love, and affection than ever before. Neytiri had been the first to hold him after Neteyam, her hands gentle and sure as she cradled her newest grandson, whispering quiet blessings in Naâvi. She marveled at how much he looked like his fatherâNeteyamâs strong jaw, his deep golden eyesâbut with your nose and the soft curl of your lips. She pressed a kiss to Likanâs brow and then turned to you, tears in her eyes. âMa âite, you and my son⌠you make such beauty together.â
Jake, too, was wrapped around Likanâs tiny fingers. Even more laid-back as a grandfather than he ever was as a father, he spent mornings showing Likan carved wooden animals he made just for him, while Eylan proudly helped paint them in bright sea-colored hues. âTwo boys,â heâd say with a wide grin, tousling Eylanâs hair while Likan cooed in his lap. âYou and Neteyam are in for it now.â But the pride was clear in his voice, and so was the joy.
Kiri, as always, was a natural. She carried Likan around on her hip with flowers braided in his hair, telling him long stories of Eywa and forest spirits. Likan loved the sound of her voice and often fell asleep curled against her chest as she whispered the tales of Home Tree. Tukâwho had long since appointed herself big cousin of the yearâtook her role seriously. She made matching seashell necklaces for both Eylan and Likan, always watching over the youngest with gentle care. The first time Likan said âTukâ in his tiny voice, she cried and wouldnât let go of him all afternoon.
Even Loâak, ever the wild one, became surprisingly soft when it came to Likan. He would let the baby climb all over him, even yank on his braids, never once complaining. He carried Likan on his shoulders through the shallows, pretending to be a tulkun, while Eylan rode proudly on Neteyamâs back beside them. âYouâre just lucky you look like your mama,â Loâak teased once, pinching Likanâs cheek. âThatâs why I let you drool on me.â
And NeteyamâEywa, Neteyam. The way he looked at his sons was enough to melt your heart every time. He was a father so deeply in love with his family that every look, every laugh, every moment spent cuddled between the boys and you in the hammock, told its own story of devotion. With Likan sleeping on his chest and Eylan curled at his side.
Now at two years old, Likan was a constant companion to Eylan â always trailing behind him, squealing as he tried to mimic everything his big brother did. Neteyam was utterly taken with them both. He carved toys from driftwood, told them stories under the stars, and swam with Likan cradled on his back while Eylan darted circles around them. You watched often from the shore, your heart full beyond words. And though the forest still called to you sometimes in dreams⌠the sea answered back with peace. This was your home now. Your family. Your love.
A few months later you were sitting in the sand with Neteyam, just past the tree line where the sea met the forest, your legs stretched in front of you, your back against his warm chest. His arms were wrapped securely around you, one hand gently tracing the growing curve of your belly â not yet obvious to others, but known, deeply felt.
âYouâre sure?â he whispered softly into your ear, his breath warm, his voice reverent. You smiled, fingers threading through his. âIâm sure,â you murmured. âI wanted to wait to tell you until I was certain. Youâre going to be a father again.â
Neteyamâs breath caught. He froze, just for a second, then exhaled a shaky laugh of disbelief, joy breaking across his features like sunlight. He kissed your cheek, your temple, your jaw, your shoulder â then rested his forehead against yours. âThree,â he whispered. âWeâre going to have three.â
You both waited until that evening to tell the family. The Sully kelku was alive with laughter and light. Tuk was trying to balance Likan on her back like a paâli, and Eylan was using a shell to make âsoupâ out of seawater and sand. Loâak and Kiri arguing about minuscule things making Tsireya laugh. Jake and Neytiri sat by the fire, smiling at the chaos around them. When you took Neteyamâs hand and stood, all eyes turned.
âWe have something to share,â Neteyam said, his voice gentle but steady. You couldnât stop smiling as he placed a proud hand over your belly. âWeâre expecting again.â
Gasps echoed. Tuk squealed, running to throw her arms around your waist. Neytiri rose quickly, mist in her eyes as she cupped your cheeks, her joy immediate. âEywa has blessed us,â she whispered. Jake let out a whoop and clapped Neteyam hard on the back. Loâak tackled him in congratulations, and Kiri and Tsireya wrapped you both in a long, warm hug.
Even Ronal and Tonowari sent over gifts the next day â strands of woven pearls for you, a carved bone teether for the baby, a set of tiny sea-colored wraps. The whole village celebrated. For a while, everything was peace and laughter and hope. Until the demon ship came.
It was fast â the sky people returning in brutal force. The hunting party never returned. Roa, Ronalâs spirit sister, was slaughtered along with her calf. The waves turned red. The village turned silent. Jake called for the warriors to move â and Neteyam turned to you, gripping your arms tightly.
âStay,â he whispered, his voice low but firm. âStay here. Watch the boys. Donât leave the kelku, no matter what. Iâll come back. I promise.â Your heart twisted, but you nodded. You kissed him once, then again, pressing your forehead to his. âCome back to me,â you whispered.
Hours later, too many hours in your opinion passed, the sky and see had matching shades of orange when Kiri came stumbling in, âcome, come, he is hurt.â She stuttered out and you didnât need another word picking yourself up and running to the healer's mauri. Kiri close behind with Likan in her hip and Eylan clutching her hand.
The healerâs mauri was already crowded by the time you ran through the reef village. She hadnât said much after those wordâjust âNeteyamâ and âshotââand that alone had been enough to steal your breath, to send your thoughts into a panicked spiral. You didnât even stop to ask if he was alive. You couldnât. You didnât want to hear anything but âyes.â
Your chest was tight, your throat aching with the pressure of a scream that hadnât yet found air. Kiriâs footsteps splashed behind you through shallow tidepools, your two sons in her arms and at her heels. You didnât dare turn around. You were focused on one thing.
When you reached the healerâs mauri, you pushed aside the flap without hesitationâand froze. He was there. Laid out on a woven mat, bloodied and still. The wail that tore out of you was immediate, raw and unrestrained. âNeteyam!â
Jake was already kneeling beside his son, hands stained red, whispering soft prayers to Eywa. Neytiri sat with her forehead pressed against Neteyamâs hand, tears streaking her face. Loâak stood rigid in the corner, jaw clenched so tight it looked like he might crack his own teeth. Tuk, curled in Neytiriâs lap, was wide-eyed and quiet, too young to understand all of it but old enough to feel the fear. When you stumbled in, the room shifted instantly.
You fell to your knees beside Neteyam, grabbing his hand, sobbing so violently it was hard to breathe. âPleaseâNeteyam, wake up. Wake up! Please!â
Jake reached for your shoulder, trying to steady you, but you pulled away, your entire body curling over Neteyamâs as if your love alone could protect him from whatever force had done this. âMama?â Eylanâs little voice broke behind you. You turned around sharply, wild-eyed, as Kiri entered, holding Likan on her hip and Eylanâs hand. The boys stopped short at the sight of their father.
âMama, whatâs wrong with sempu?â Eylan asked, clutching Kiriâs leg, voice quivering. âWhy is he all red?â Your breath hitched. Likan looked around, confused and teary. âIs Daddy sleeping?â You pressed your hands to your mouth, eyes wide and brimming with tears. You tried to speak, but nothing came outâonly broken sobs.
Kiri gently passed Likan to Neytiri, who cradled him and Tuk together, her arms trembling. Jake picked Eylan up and sat down beside you on the mat, placing the boy in your lap and anchoring your shaking hands around him.
âBreathe, sweetheart,â he said, firmly but gently. âI know. I know itâs hard. But heâs alive. Heâs fighting. Look at him.â
You barely heard him. Your eyes were locked on Neteyamâs face, unmoving, pale save for the angry red of dried blood. Eylan looked up at you, his tiny hand pressing to your cheek. âWhy are you crying?â he asked, sniffling. âIs Daddy gonna go to Eywa?â
âNo!â you gasped out, shaking your head too fast. âNo, no, babyâheâheâs notâheâs notââ You couldnât even finish. You broke again, hugging Eylan to your chest, your other hand reaching toward Neteyam even as your entire body shook.
Neytiri passed Likan to Loâak, who gently bounced him as he stood, whispering, âItâs okay, little guy, Daddyâs gonna be okay.â But you could see his jaw trembling too, the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. Neytiri came to you, kneeling beside you and pulling you into her arms, guiding your head to her shoulder while you sobbed.
âYou are not alone,â she whispered, voice thick with emotion. âYou donât carry this alone.â Kiri had tears on her face too, but she wiped them away as she pressed a damp cloth to Neteyamâs brow. âWe got to him in time,â she said quietly, mostly for your sake. âTsireya stopped the bleeding. He just needs rest. Healing.â
Jake was silent for a long moment; his eyes locked on his eldest son. Then he reached over, brushing Eylanâs curls out of his eyes, and said, âYour dadâs the strongest person I know, kiddo. Heâll wake up. Youâll see.â
You just cried harder, holding your boy as if they were the only thing keeping you tethered to the ground. And all the while, Neteyam lay still, his hand warm in yours. A breath of lifeâbut only barely.
You clutched Eylan to your chest, holding him so tightly he whimpered, confused, but not resisting. His round eyes flicked between you and his fatherâs unmoving body. His little fingers fisted in your hair as your cries beganâraw, broken, guttural. You were saying his name over and over, as if it alone could tether his soul back to you. âNeteyam⌠please⌠pleaseâŚâ
You barely noticed Loâak nearby, now crouched low, arms full of Likan who writhed and whimpered and cried against his uncleâs chest. The toddler was panicking, struggling to reach for you, reaching out with one hand while he clung to Loâak with the other. His small voice was cracked from crying, his face wet with tears, overwhelmed by the sight of both his parents falling apart in front of him. You didnât notice Kiri until she was right beside you. She didnât speak.
She simply knelt, calm and sure, and slid her arms under Eylanâs small body. He resisted only briefly, but the tears on your face, the shaking of your shoulders, it frightened him. He let go of your neck and went into Kiriâs hold, his lower lip trembling as she stood and turned away, taking him to the edge of the mauri.
Only when his weight left your arms did you suddenly feel how hollow they were. You turned back to Neteyam, grabbing at his hand, kissing it, whispering to him as tears continued to pour from your chin to his bare chest. Your trembling fingers brushed his braids back from his sweat-damp face, desperate for anything, any signâany flicker.
Likan was screaming nowâsoft, broken screams of confusion and fear. Neytiri appeared behind Loâak, arms open, and Loâak handed his little nephew off gently. Likanâs tiny fists pounded at her shoulder, face pressed to her neck as she rocked him, whispering softly, shielding him from the sight of his father.
The mauri entrance stirred Ronal entered first, sharp-eyed and focused, followed closely by Tsireya and two other healers. Their arms were full of salves, herbs, warm cloth. The moment they entered, the air changed urgency replacing fear. âYou must move,â Ronal said, not cruelly, but firm.
âNo,â you gasped, clutching Neteyamâs arm, burying your face in his shoulder. âNo, I canâtâhe needs meâI need to stayââ
âHe will not survive if we cannot reach him,â she said, already setting her things beside him. Tsireya crossed to the other side and knelt. Her voice was softer, coaxing. âPlease. Let us help him. Youâve done all you can.â
You didnât hear yourself sob. You didnât feel your body convulsing with every breath. But the arms that pulled you back were familiarâJakeâs. You resisted at first, claws curling into the woven mat. âNoâno, pleaseâI canâtâplease, noââ
Neytiri approached, still rocking Likan, who was hiccuping against her shoulder, his little voice warbling with the last of his strength. She kissed his head and crouched beside you. âLet them save him, maâite. You must let go for now.â
âNo, no no no I canât,â you whispered through choked sobs. Jake pulled you back slowly, and you crumbled into him, your face buried in his chest as your hands reached blindly for your mate.
Kiri was nearby, holding Eylan close, whispering softly. Loâak paced beside her, running his fingers through his hair, glancing back constantly at Neteyam. Tuk stood just behind her mother, silent, holding her own tears in a tight, trembling grip. And there, in that mauri, with your heart breaking open and your sons crying for comfort you couldnât give, you watched as the only person who could soothe your storm lay still unmoving while the healers began their quiet, desperate work. The moment the flap of the healerâs mauri closed behind you; it felt like the world fell silentâthen exploded into anguish.
You dropped to the sand as if your legs no longer knew how to hold you. Jake had carried you out, his hands firm but careful, his jaw clenched with grief. He tried to speak, but you had already broken into pieces in his arms, and there were no words that could hold your weight now. Gently, he set you down and immediately turned back for Tuk, who had come stumbling out moments after, her face a pale mask of confusion.
She didnât speak. Didnât cry. Her wide eyes just watched her family unravel. Jake bent down, scooped her into his arms, and held her like she was the last solid thing in his life. He kissed her forehead again and again as she clung to him, asking over and over, âIs going to Neteyam okay daddy?â Jake had no answers.
You knelt just beyond the entrance, in the pale sand outside the mauri, your body trembling uncontrollably. The sobs that escaped you were unhingedâraw, cracking your chest open in a way that made Loâak look away, jaw tight, his own eyes shining. You gasped like you couldnât find the air. Like breathing itself betrayed you. You clutched your stomachâyour growing bellyâand cried out his name.
âNeteyam! Neteyam! Pleaseâplease! Wake up! I canâtâhe canâtââ The words never finished. Your throat closed around them.
Loâak was the one who caught you this time, sliding to his knees and pulling you into him. You fought him at firstâyour hands pushing against his chest, trembling with the desire to get back inside, to feel Neteyamâs warmth, to stop this nightmare. But Loâak held you, arms locked tight around you like a brace, grounding you when the world kept spinning. You crumpled into him, shaking violently, your sobs muffled in his chest. âHeâs cold, Loâak. He was so cold. He lookedâhe lookedâgone.â
Loâak couldnât speak for a moment. His throat was thick, lips trembling. He closed his eyes, pressing his cheek against the crown of your head. His voice was hoarse when he finally said, âBut heâs not. Heâs not gone. Heâs alive. Tsireya stopped the bleeding. Ronalâs working on him now. Heâs gonna pull through. He has to.â Your arms clung to him like a lifeline. âI need him⌠I need himâŚâ
âI know,â he whispered. âWe all do.â Nearby, Kiri sat cross-legged in the sand, Eylan tucked into her lap. The little boy was crying silently now, exhausted, tears streaking his cheeks as he leaned into her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair, whispering soft reassurances even as her own face was stiff with fear. She kept glancing toward the mauri, her heart clearly still with her brother.
Likan was still in Neytiriâs arms, wailing louder nowânot because of Neteyamâs absence, but because he could feel the pain in his family, see the desperation in your cries. âMama! Mamaaaa!â he hiccuped into his grandmotherâs neck, reaching his arms toward you, but Neytiri gently rocked him and whispered, âShh, little one. Let her breathe. Sheâs just scared. She loves you. She loves your sempu.â
Jake, holding Tuk close, had crouched in the sand a short distance away. His face was stone, but his eyesâred and glossyâbetrayed the cracks inside. He held Tukâs small head against his shoulder as she finally started crying, her confusion becoming real fear. âWhy is she screaming?â she asked. âWhy canât we go help?â
âSheâs scared,â Jake said softly. âAnd weâre just waiting now. Giving Neteyam time to be okay.â
Kiri gently leaned her head down, pressing her forehead to Eylanâs. âYour daddyâs strong, ma âitan,â she murmured. âHeâs going to be okay. But you need to be brave too, alright? Your mama needs you to be brave.â
You didnât hear any of it. You couldnât. Everything was a blur. A tunnel of soundâyour heart pounding, your sobs relentless, your baby squirming in your belly as if they, too, could feel your terror. Loâak held you as your cries lost their sound and became breathless heaves, his own hands trembling as he wiped the tears from your cheeks.
âYou canât fall apart,â he said, but the words werenât harsh. They were trembling. âNot yet. Not when heâs still fighting in there. You know Neteyam. Heâd never leave you. He wouldnât.â
The world was muffled behind your tears. But your ears caught the soft, broken cries of your sons again, and your heart lurched. Your lungs burned as you forced yourself to look around.
Likan was still in Neytiriâs arms, clinging tightly to her as fat tears rolled down his round cheeks. At two years old, he didnât understand any of thisâjust that something was terribly wrong. He let out a pitiful whimper, burying his face in her shoulder, sniffling and murmuring, âMama⌠mama, dada⌠where dada?â
Eylan sat quietly now in Kiriâs lap just a few steps away, tear tracks fresh on his cheeks, his little fingers curled in the fabric of her chest wrap as he looked between you and the mauri hut. His voice was quiet but clear. âWhy wonât Daddy wake up?â You broke. Again. But this time it was different. This time you didnât fall into your griefâyou leaned into your sons.
Loâak gently released you as you dropped to your knees, arms open for Eylan. Kiri didnât hesitate; she leaned down and let your boy shuffle into your arms. He clung to you instantly, curling against your chest, his little breaths shaky.
âIâm here,â you whispered, your voice hoarse. âIâm right here, my love.â
You felt movement behind youâNeytiri came forward and knelt beside you in the sand. Her arms eased Likan into yours, his soft, warm body curling against your other side. The moment your arms closed around him, he gave a wobbly cry and pushed his face into your neck, still trying to speak through his distress.
âDada hurt? Dada owie?â
âNo, baby,â you murmured, rocking them gently, tears still falling. âHeâs going to be okay⌠Heâs just sleeping. Just sleepingâŚâ And then, finally, the world slowed.
The sky darkened above you as the sun dipped lower, the air thick with salt and grief. You sat there, tucked beside the mauri, your sons pressed tightly to your chest, tears still running silently down your face. The rest of the family formed around you.
Jake sat just behind Neytiri, arms wrapped protectively around Tuk, who trembled in his lap but didnât make a sound. She stared at the entrance of the healerâs mauri like it might swallow her whole. Kiri curled next to you, brushing your hair back, her own eyes rimmed red but her touch soft, calming.
Loâak finally lowered himself to the sand beside you and sat in silence, head in his hands, his shoulders rising and falling with shallow breaths. One of his knees bumped against yoursâclose, supportive. He didnât say anything more. No one did.
For a long time, the Sully family simply sat in a circle around you. Pressed together. Supporting each other in silence. Each face painted with pain and fear; each heart suspended between hope and horror. But together.
You clutched Eylan and Likan closer, your lips brushing their hair, whispering soft things that didnât always make senseâjust your voice, soothing, constant, loving. And in that quiet, broken moment, you remembered: you were still a family. Still together.
The night had long since fallen, the sky above painted with stars scattered like beads of light across deep ocean blue. The air was cool now, and the soft crash of waves against the reef was the only thing filling the silence outside the healerâs mauri. The Sully family hadnât moved far â they couldnât. Not with Neteyam still inside, still unconscious.
You were seated on the sand, legs folded, your arms wrapped tightly around both of your sons. Eylan was curled in your lap, his tiny fingers clutching the fabric of your chest wrap. Heâd cried until his voice broke, then fallen asleep against you, lips still quivering in dreams. Likan, your littlest one, had cried himself hoarse in Loâakâs arms. When your sobs had calmed just enough to take him back, Loâak wordlessly passed him over, holding the back of your hand for a moment as he did, grounding you without needing to speak.
Now, Likan lay tucked across your legs like a baby ilu, one hand curled in your songcord, the other clutching his fatherâs discarded sash. His cheek was wet, pressed to your belly where his unborn sibling stirred gently in your womb â safe, for now. His small chest rose and fell with heavy, exhausted breaths.
Loâak sat directly beside you now. He hadnât left your side since youâd been dragged from the mauri. His arm brushed yours, his shoulder nearly touching. Though he wasnât saying much, the tension in his posture spoke volumes â hunched slightly forward, fingers fidgeting over a seashell bracelet, jaw clenched like he was fighting every wave of panic. His eyes, normally so full of mischief and light, were dim. He kept glancing toward the mauri flap like if he blinked, something would change.
Jake sat not far off, his strong arms wrapped around a sleeping Tuk. She was curled tightly in his lap, her small face still damp with tears. Neytiri had one hand on your back, rubbing slowly, her presence like a warm fire in the cold. Kiri was nearby too, legs pulled close to her chest, her gaze occasionally drifting to you and the boys, then back to the healerâs tent.
Tonowari stood quietly at a respectful distance, his wife having disappeared back inside some time ago. Aonung sat cross-legged just behind Loâak, giving space, but still clearly there â watching his friend, his second brother, with the protectiveness of someone whoâd become family too. No one spoke.
The stillness was heavy, the kind of silence born from fear and hope and bone-deep exhaustion. But Neteyam was alive. You repeated that over and over in your mind like a prayer, like a chant to keep your heart from tearing again. Neteyam is alive. He is breathing.
You tightened your arms around your boys. Loâakâs hand reached over in the quiet and touched your shoulder, squeezing gently. You leaned into him for a moment â both of you needing it more than youâd ever say out loud.
The flap of the healerâs mauri finally shifted. Everyoneâs head snapped up, every breath caught. You clutched your sons tighter, both still asleep against your chest and belly, and Loâakâs hand instinctively moved from your shoulder to your back, steadying you.
Ronal was the first to emerge. Her expression, always unreadable, was softer now â solemn, but without panic. Her hands were streaked with drying blood up to the forearms, her chest rising in quiet, measured breaths. Tsireya followed a heartbeat later, her eyes already shining with unshed tears, but her mouth curled in a small, hopeful smile.
âHe lives,â Ronal said gently, looking at the circle of broken hearts around her. Your breath hitched, and Neytiri gasped softly beside you. Jake let out a quiet, choked sound and pressed his lips to Tukâs hair, hugging her closer in his arms.
Loâak slumped forward, burying his face in his hands with a trembling exhale. Your heart stuttered in your chest.
âHe is stable,â Tsireya continued, stepping forward, her voice softer, for you. âThe wound was deep⌠but it missed anything vital. We have stitched it well and given him salves for pain. He is sleeping now â deeply. He may not wake for some time⌠but his spirit is strong.â
You couldnât stop the tears. Silent, steady drops falling down your cheeks, soaking into Eylanâs curls. âHeâll wake up?â you asked, barely a whisper.
Ronal nodded. âYes. In time. But he must rest. His body must heal.â Your arms tightened around your children. You nodded through your tears, leaning your head down to kiss both your sons on their brows. Neteyam wasnât lost. Not this time. Not this battle.
Kiri let out a shuddering breath and leaned into Neytiriâs side. Neytiri took her hand. Jake looked to the sky as if thanking Eywa herself.
Aonung stepped forward and crouched next to Loâak, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. âBrother will be alright,â he said simply. Loâak just nodded, still pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes, silent tears slipping through.
Tonowari stepped forward at last, kneeling beside you. âYou are welcome to stay here, all of you,â he said gently. âAs long as you need. You are not alone.â
You looked up at him through your blurred vision and nodded gratefully. âThank you⌠thank youâŚâ Ronal placed a hand gently on your head â a rare, maternal gesture from her. âSoon, you may see him. Not yet. But soon.â You nodded again, your throat too tight for words, and pressed your cheek to Eylanâs little shoulder.
After that night, the one that tore the sky open above you â it was Neytiri who suggested moving Neteyam. She spoke quietly, like she might break if she raised her voice. âHe should be home,â she said, eyes red-rimmed. âWith you. With his sons. Where he belongs.â
And so, gently, the family helped you move him to your mauri â the small sea-shelled home you and Neteyam built with woven love and endless laughter, now filled with echoing silence. Jake carried his sonâs weight like a ghost, Kiri and Loâak flanking either side. You stayed close, one hand on Neteyamâs chest, the other wrapped protectively around your swollen belly.
It wasnât far from the Sully mauri. Close enough that no one ever knocked, and no one ever asked to enter. And so, your home became the heart of the family â the place everyone gathered, watched, waited. Grieved. Nights were the hardest. The soft sounds of the ocean couldnât mask the ache.
Eylan slept between you and Neteyam, fingers always curled in his fatherâs braids. He would whisper, childlike and sure, âI think Daddy can still hear me. Right, Mama?â And though your heart would squeeze in pain, you nodded. âYes, baby. He hears every word.â
Little Likan, barely two, still too young to understand, would crawl across Neteyamâs unmoving chest and giggle like nothing had changed. âDada sleepinâ,â he would murmur, laying his head down. âShhh, baby sleeping.â Your heart cracked, over and over again.
One quiet afternoon, as you rubbed your aching belly and tried not to cry, Loâak sat beside you, legs crossed, elbows on knees. He watched Neteyam in silence for a while before saying, âYou know, he always said heâd be the best dad. Like he wanted to prove something.â
You glanced at your sleeping mate. âHe didnât need to prove anything. He already was.â
Loâak smiled sadly. âI think⌠I think he was afraid. Of becoming like Dad. Of being too hard. Too⌠heavy.â
âHeâs not,â you whispered. âHeâs light. Always was.â
The Sully family never stayed away. Jake would come by early mornings to sit near Neteyamâs mat, just watching him with a hard jaw and teary eyes. Neytiri often brought steaming bowls of herbal broths and helped brush Likanâs hair from his eyes. Tuk curled against Neteyamâs arm every chance she got, small voice rambling about whatever creature sheâd found that day.
âHeâs still warm,â she said once, looking up at you with wide, hopeful eyes. âSo that means heâs still in there.â
âYes,â you murmured, brushing her hair back. âHeâs still with us.â
Kiri came often too, singing over Neteyamâs still body, lighting healing oils, and wrapping arms around you when your breath caught from the pressure of the growing baby inside you. Tsireya and Aoânung came by almost every day.
Tsireya would gently take Likan into her arms and hum soft Metkayina lullabies while you rested. âYou are being so strong for your boys,â she said once, when your hands trembled too much to feed yourself.
Aoânung was quieter, surprisingly so. He didnât speak much, but he would bring fish, or woven toys for the boys, or sit near the edge of the mauri, his gaze flickering to Neteyamâs form with guilt and worry that never quite left his face. Once, you caught him whispering, âCome back, forest boy.â
It was your little family that held the world together. Eylan curled beside Neteyam at night, whispering stories about jellyfish and fish chases with Uncle Loâak. âDaddy needs to hear what he missed,â he would say matter-of-factly. Likan would climb onto your lap and ask, âBaby come soon?â then lay his tiny hand on your belly and say, âTell Dada wake up. We waitinâ.â
And you would lean into Neteyamâs chest, brushing your fingers over his jaw, whispering into the hollow of his throat, âYou have to come back, ma yawne. They need you. I need you.â
Even though your world had cracked, you werenât alone in the pieces.
Three moons had passed since the day your world cracked in two. Neteyam lay motionless on the center mat of your shared mauri, surrounded by silence and warmth and the weight of his familyâs endless love. His chest still rose. His heart still beat. But his eyes⌠they never opened.
The boys had adapted, in a way only children could. Eylan had stopped asking when his father would wake. Instead, he stayed close, laying his tiny reed mat beside Neteyamâs every night, whispering stories into his ear about fish heâd seen, shells heâd found, dreams heâd had. âSo when he wakes up, he knows everything, Mama,â heâd explain.
Likan didnât understand. Two years old and all big eyes and chubby fingers, he still climbed onto Neteyamâs chest every morning and curled up, waiting for his fatherâs arms to wrap around him. Sometimes he laughed, babbling in half-sentences. Sometimes he cried. You never stopped watching.
And your belly â it was so round now. Eight months. You could feel every kick, every shift of the baby inside. Every night, you whispered to your unborn child as you stroked your mateâs still face. âYour sempu is here. He just needs more time.â
Norm and Max had come again that morning, quiet as always. They carried their strange, blinking human tools and moved around Neteyamâs mat with practiced care. They checked the IV that fed his body fluids and nutrients, adjusted the monitor that tracked his vitals. âHeâs still holding on,â Norm said gently, not looking you in the eyeâ
âI donât need him to hold on,â you muttered. âI need him to wake up.â
Loâak stood near the entrance of the mauri, arms folded tight across his chest, jaw clenched. He hadnât left your side in weeks. He helped with the boys, helped you up when your back ached too much to rise, helped keep you breathing when everything inside you begged to scream.
That night, Eylan climbed into your lap beside Neteyam. âMama,â he whispered, stroking your arm, âwhen is sempu gonna talk to me again?â You froze. Your hands tightened on his little back. âI miss daddy,â Eylan continued. âI think Likan does too. He cries sometimes for daddy.â You couldnât hold it in. You turned your face away and let the sob break through. Eylan reached up, brushing away a tear. âDid I do something wrong?â
âNo, baby. Eywa, no.â You kissed his forehead, hugging him tight. âHe loves you more than anything. He just⌠heâs sleeping very strong.â
âLike when the fish go deep for the cold moons?â
âExactly,â you lied, smiling through the ache. âBut heâll come back.â
Later that night, after the boys had fallen asleep â Likan curled on Neteyamâs chest, Eylan tucked under his arm â you stepped outside. The stars shimmered over the ocean, and the sound of waves broke softly against the reef. You didnât cry this time. You just breathed.
âIâm scared,â you whispered to the sky. âHeâs missing everything. Every kick. Every day the boys grow. He hasnât even heard this babyâs heartbeat.â
Loâak appeared behind you quietly. âI know.â You turned to him, voice trembling. âWhat if I have this baby alone? What if he neverââ
âYou wonât,â he said, stepping forward. âWe wonât let you be alone. I know Iâm not him, but I swear⌠weâve got you. Iâve got you.â You sank into him, tears finally returning. âI donât want anyone else. I just want him.â
âI know,â Loâak whispered, pressing your head to his shoulder. âI want him to wake up too.â
Ronal came the next day, her presence as quiet and firm as ever. She set a bowl of warm herbs beside Neteyamâs mat and applied a paste along his temples. You watched as she murmured prayers and touched his chest.
âHe is tethered,â she said finally, glancing at you. âYou are the cord that keeps him here. Keep speaking to him.â You nodded, though your heart was so tired.
Tsireya came later, bringing new salve for your aching legs and sweet-smelling herbs for the boys. âWe havenât given up,â she said gently. âYou shouldnât either.â Even Aoânung came by more often now. He didnât speak much, just brought fresh fish or sat with Loâak near the shore when he needed space.
And still, your stomach grew. Every movement of the baby inside you brought both awe and fear. Youâd lie next to Neteyam at night, his arm draped lifeless across your middle, and whisper, âTheyâre almost here, ma tĂŹyawn. Please⌠please donât miss this.â
But the days kept passing, and one month later, the pain came like fireâdeep, sharp, and wrong. It was still dark outside the mauri when it woke you, seizing your breath and curling your body forward instinctively. You gasped, a broken cry ripping from your throat as you clutched your swollen belly. You knew what it meant. âNoâno no no,â you whispered, panic rising fast. âNot now. Please not now.â
Your pain woke the boys, who both began to cry in their half-sleepâfrightened, confused by the sound of your agony. âMama? Mamaaa?â
You couldnât even answer. You barely registered the door flap flying open, Kiri and Neytiri rushing in. Kiri dropped to your side. âItâs the baby,â she breathed, feeling your stomach. âYouâre in labor.â
âI wonât do it,â you gasped, trying to standâonly to collapse into Neytiriâs arms, trembling. âI wonâtâI canât! Not without him!â
âHe would want you to be strong,â Neytiri said quickly, but her voice cracked. âYou have to be strongâplease, for the baby.â
Tsireya and Ronal arrived next, gathering supplies and laying out a woven mat across the floor beside Neteyamâs still form. You shrank away from them, clutching your belly like it might hold the pain back.
âYou need to lie down,â Tsireya said softly.
âI said no!â you cried. âIâm not having this baby without him! He was supposed to be here! He was supposed to hold my handâhe promised!â Ronal looked to Kiri, silently asking her to calm you, but before she could move, a voice cut through the panic.
âY/n Iâm surprised at you I really am, thisâŚ. this is not how I thought youâd handle this.â Loâak stood in the doorway. Pale. Tense. Eyes rimmed red from weeks of holding back every emotion that now pulsed right beneath his skin. Kiri opened her mouth, clearly ready to tell him to leave. âLoâak, maybe give her someââ
But he walked straight past her. He knelt down in front of you, gently brushing your damp hair back, speaking quietly so only you could hear. âI know youâre scared. You have every right to be. But you donât get to quit right now.â You shook your head, voice cracking. âYou donât understandââ
âNo, I do,â he said, cutting you off gently. âHe was supposed to be here. I know that. And this isnât fair. None of this is fair. But youâre not alone.â Your eyes welled up again, and you looked away.
Loâak leaned closer. âYouâre not doing this for just you. Youâre doing it for the baby. For Neteyam. For your little boys who still need their mama cause theyâre crying cause you're in pain. You donât get to quit on them. You donât get to quit on me.â Your lower lip trembled as a contraction surged again, and you folded into it, screaming. âI know thereâs a lot of things going on here we canât control, but this, we can do this.â He caught you as you slumped forward, gently guiding you down onto the mat Tsireya had prepared. The moment you hit the floor, the room shifted.
Kiri immediately began gathering towels and boiling water. Neytiri scooped the boys into her arms, quickly passing them to Jake who waited just outside to rock them even as tears streaked her own cheeks. Ronal positioned herself at your feet, checking how far along you were. Tsireya set her hands at your side, grounding you in soft whispers.
Loâak didnât move from behind you, sitting cross-legged so your back could lean into him, just like Neteyam had done for your first two births. He took your hand in his. âIâve got you,â he whispered into your ear. âJust breathe. Iâm not going anywhere.â
Another contraction came, and you screamed into his shoulder. He didnât flinch. âI know it hurts,â he said quietly, his voice cracking. âI know everything feels like itâs falling apart, but this baby is yours and his and theyâre ready. You just have to help them get here.â
âI donât want to do it alone,â you sobbed.
âYouâre not alone,â he said, pressing your forehead to his. âLook at me.â You opened your eyesâbarely.
âIâm here. Kiriâs here. Momâs here. Tsireya and Ronal are here. You are surrounded by people who love you. Weâre not letting go. You can do this.â You let out a shuddering breath, nodding once. âOkay.â
âThatâs it,â he whispered. âThatâs all I need. When the next one comesâpush. Iâve got you. I swear.â
The room shifted againâcalm in the storm. Ronal nodded. âThe baby is crowning. You must push.â You closed your eyes, tears falling fast, and squeezed Loâakâs hand as the next contraction came. You pushed. Screamed. Cried. And Loâak held you through every second of it.
Your chest heaved, sweat glistening on your skin as your trembling arms cradled the impossibly small bundle against your chest. She was still cryingâtiny and sharp and alive. And Loâak⌠Loâak was still behind you, arms braced on either side of you, steadying you like a living pillar. His chest pressed to your back, chin briefly lowering to your shoulder as he whispered, âYou did it.â
You couldnât answerânot yet. Your voice was trapped in your throat, and your heart was thundering too hard, but you nodded weakly, tears falling freely down your cheeks.
Tsireya leaned close, her smile wet with emotion. âShe is strong,â she whispered. âJust like her saânok.â
Ronal was quiet, checking your daughterâs tiny fingers, murmuring something under her breath maybe a prayer, maybe thanks to Eywa. âIâll go tell them,â Neytiri said softly, already turning toward the mauri flap. Her hand trailed along your shoulder as she passed. âThey are waiting.â
You could feel Loâakâs breath on the back of your neck. His voice was hoarse when he said, âShe looks like Neteyam.â That broke something in your chest. You nodded, lips trembling. âI knowâŚâ
She was beautiful. She was warm and breathing and here. And yet⌠Neteyam still hadnât moved. He hadnât seen her. Not yet. You shifted slightly, and Loâak helped you ease backward, supporting you so that you were resting against his chest, your newborn daughter swaddled snugly in your arms. You hadnât even realized you were still holding his hand until you felt his thumb gently stroke over your knuckles. Then the flap lifted again.
Jake entered first, quiet and slow, with a child in each arm. Tuk still clung to his side, sleepy and blinking, and beside her was your oldestâEylan, eyes wide with worry, searching.
âMamaâŚ?â he said softly.
Your breath caught. You sat up straighter. âEylan,â you whispered. He ran forward before Jake could even say anything, reaching out toward you. You held out your free arm, and he climbed up next to you, careful but eager, immediately peeking down at the baby in your arms. âIs that the baby that was in your belly?â
You nodded, voice soft and cracking. âYour sister, yeah.â He gasped quietly. âSheâs so smallâŚâ
âSheâs perfect,â you said.
Loâak shifted behind you, his hands never leaving your shoulders, still there like an anchor. Jake stepped closer, kneeling with Likan in his arms. âHe woke when he heard her cry,â he said gently. Likan rubbed at his eyes with a little fist, clearly still tired, but the moment he spotted you and his brother, he reached out. âMamaâŚâ
You nodded, arms full, and Loâak moved for the first time, gently helping take Likan from Jake and nestling him beside you, right between you and Eylan. Both boys now tucked into your side, wide-eyed and curious. âLook,â you murmured. âYour little sister.â Likan blinked at her. âMama BabyâŚâ You nodded, kissing his forehead.
The flap to the mauri was still drawn open, and behind Jake came Neytiri and Kiri, the whole family drawn like a tide around you. They didnât crowd. They didnât speak loudly. But the space filled with warmthâblinking away the cold ache of the months of silence. Your daughter squirmed a little, letting out a tiny sneeze.
âOh,â Eylan whispered with a giggle. âShe sneezed!â
âSheâs a strong girl,â Jake said with pride, voice a little rough as he tucked a few braids behind your ear. âJust like her mama. Just like her brothers.â
You looked to Loâak then. He caught your gaze, then leaned close enough to kiss the crown of your head. âYou did so good,â he murmured. âNeteyam would be losing his mind right now.â The lump in your throat swelled again.
âI wish he could see herâŚâ
âHe will,â Kiri said gently, her voice from just beside the boys. âHeâs still here. And when he wakes up, weâll tell him everything.â
Loâak looked at you, his voice a low, sure thing. âWeâll tell him how brave you were. How beautiful she is. How she cried just like Likan and wriggled like Eylan when they were born.â
âAnd how much we missed him,â you whispered. Loâak nodded.
Tuk came forward then, kneeling beside the boys, and smiled at the baby in wonder. âSheâs really hereâŚâ she whispered. âWhatâs her name?â
You paused, heart pounding. You hadnât chosen it yet. Not without him. âI uhâ I havenât chosen one yet, Neteyam normally has finally say but this time weâŚI donât know yet.â I tell the family and Loâak squeezed my arms softly his fingers running up and down them. âItâs okay, youâll name her when youâre ready.â He whispered speaking for everyone.
The air in the mauri is thick with warmth, sweat, blood, and silence. Somewhere just outside, Neytiri hums to Likan, rocking him slowly. Kiri is tending to your newborn, her steps soft. Tsireya is quiet, watching the Eylan sleep, giving you space.
Itâs just you and Loâak now. The curtain drawn. A bowl of warm water beside him, and you, aching and barely awake, lying half-curled under a blanket, eyes glazed with exhaustion. You donât even flinch when you feel the cloth on your thigh. His touch is gentle, almost too gentle like heâs afraid of you breaking.
ââŚLoâak?â your voice cracks. He doesnât look at you. âItâs okay. Iâve got it.â
The cloth moves carefully over your skin, down the inside of your thigh where the blood dried hours ago. Normally, this moment is sacred, Neteyamâs hands, not Loâakâs. Always Neteyamâs. After every birth, every hard night, every wound. It was Neteyam who bathed you, held you, kissed your shoulders in the firelight. Only him.
This feels too close. Too much. Your voice trembles. âYou donât⌠have to do this.â
âI know.â
âIs it weird?â You swallow. âYou can ask someone elseââ
âI know,â he cuts in, gently. Finally, his eyes meet yours. And the look in them â it undoes you. Itâs not pity. Itâs not lust. Itâs something else. Raw, reverent. Careful. Fractured.
âIt is weird,â he admits, voice low. âBut not because I donât want to help you.â He dips the cloth again, wrings it slowly. âItâs weird because this isnât mine. This moment. This part of you. Itâs his.â Your breath catches. He lowers his eyes, begins wiping you again â the inside of your knees, the curve of your hip. Nothing improper. But your skin burns under his touch.
âI used to wonder what it felt like,â he murmurs suddenly, âbeing needed like that. The way you always looked at him after the births. Like he was the only person who knew where you ended and started again.â
You say nothing. You canât. His next words are barely audible. âNow I know. And I wish I didnât.â The silence hangs so heavy it could break. âIâm sorry,â you whisper, tears slipping sideways into your hair.
âIâm not,â he says softly. Then after a beat, a shaky breath escapes him, and he tries to smile â the kind that barely holds. ââŚThough I gotta say,â he adds gently, âI never pictured the first time Iâd see you naked would involve this much blood and crying.â You laugh â a strangled, wet sound. âLoâakâ!â
He grins, but itâs quiet. Tired. Tender. âHey. I made you laugh. That counts for something.â The cloth slips back into the bowl. He covers you gently, then sits there beside you, elbows on his knees, staring at nothing.
You watch him through half-lidded eyes. It should not feel this way. He should not have seen this much of you. Should not have touched your skin. Should not have looked at you like that. But he did. And you let him. And in the soft dark, with your mate still unconscious and your body raw from birth, you realize⌠Youâre not sure where the line is anymore.
At first, itâs still about the kids. Loâak carrying Eylan when the boy is too sleepy to walk, playing with Likan in the dirt while you rest with the baby sleeping on your chest. He never complains. Never acts like itâs too much. But the way he watches you begins to change â it becomes quieter. Heâs more careful. Always aware. He doesnât hover. But he notices everything.
When your arms start to tremble from holding the baby too long, heâs already there before you ask. He doesnât make a scene â he just crouches beside you and gently takes her from you, cradling her like sheâs his own blood, offering that crooked half-smile youâve seen a thousand times before. Except now it feels different.
When you try to eat, one hand balancing your daughter and the other too sore to lift much of anything, he kneels next to you. No teasing, no fuss. He just takes the food and feeds you with quiet patience, like itâs normal, like youâve always done this dance. Thereâs a rhythm forming between you that neither of you meant to create.
âYou either eat this,â he says once, âor I eat it and tell everyone you starve me.â You roll your eyes. But you open your mouth. The next time, you lean forward before he even lifts the bite. The first time it goes too far is at the river. You sit on the edge of the rocks, staring at the water, your body aching and raw, and no one else is free. You donât even say anything. You donât need to.
âIâll help,â Loâak says, not looking at you. âJust the shallow edge. You donât have to move much. Iâll look away.â And he does. Always.
But his hands are gentle when they brush your back. His silence is heavy. And when he hands you the cloth and cups the water for you, your hands touch â just for a moment â and your breath catches, and neither of you mention it.
He still returns to Tsireyaâs arms every night. He kisses her when she brings herbs to help with your healing. He rests his head on her lap while she hums over his braids. He holds her hand when they walk together, when they sit by the fire, when she laughs too loud and he smiles just watching her. He is still her perfect partner.
But something in him has gone quiet. Especially when itâs just the two of you. He stays a little longer than he should. Touches your shoulder more than is necessary. His eyes linger when they shouldnât. He steps into Neteyamâs absence like he was born into it, without ever being asked.
And Tsireya notices. Not everything. Not enough to accuse. But enough to pause. One evening, she watches from across the marui as Loâak gently lifts the baby from your lap, tucks the blanket higher on your legs, and smooths your hair away from your face. His fingers hesitate there, just for a moment, brushing your skin like it means something. Like it hurts to let go. She doesnât say anything. Not yet.
You try not to rely on him. You hate how easy itâs become â how when you need something, when you so much as look tired, Loâak is already there. You try not to look for him, not to listen for his voice, but you do. And you catch yourself waiting for him, for the sound of his feet in the sand.
You hate the heat in your chest when he speaks your name gently. The soft way he says, âEat. You need your strength.â You hate that sometimes â just sometimes â you wish it wasnât just kindness. That it meant something more. Because itâs Loâak. Because you love Neteyam. Because youâre still his. Because you shouldnât feel this.
But you lean your head against his shoulder one quiet afternoon while your boys laugh nearby. And he doesnât move. He just lets you stay there, still and warm and silent. His fingers brush your wrist â the barest touch â like it anchors him. Or maybe anchors you. Neither of you speak. But something has shifted. Quietly. Unmistakably. And itâs getting harder to ignore.
The babyâs asleep again, her soft, steady breaths rising against Neteyamâs bare chest. Youâve bundled her there every night now â itâs the only place she seems to settle. Her little hand rests right over the bullet scar. Your fingers twitch every time you look at it.
You sit beside them; knees pulled to your chest. The lantern burns low, casting long shadows across the woven floor. The boys are asleep near the doorway, Likan curled against Eylanâs back like a fern folding in the night.
You donât expect Loâak. Not this late. But the flap rustles, soft and careful, and he steps in â quiet, like he doesnât want to wake anyone. His hairâs damp. He smells like the sea. He sees you and stops. âI thought youâd be asleep.â You give a tired shrug. âCanât.â His eyes flick toward the baby on Neteyamâs chest. âSheâs there again.â
âEvery night.â You feel the breath leave your chest, sharp and bitter. Loâak crosses the marui, lowers himself to sit beside you. You donât look at him. âTsireya okay?â you ask, voice low.
âYeah. Sheâs⌠sheâs good.â
âDid she want you to stay?â A pause. âYeah.â
âThen why are you here?â He doesnât answer right away. Instead, he leans forward, elbows on his knees, staring at the fire.
âI just wanted to check on you.â
âIâm fine.â
âYou always say that when youâre not.â
You glance at him. âAnd what if Iâm not?â He meets your eyes, steady and too soft. âThen I stay.â
You donât say anything. Not for a long moment. The only sounds are the babyâs tiny sighs, the breath of the wind outside, the creak of the marui walls. You shift, hugging your knees tighter.
âI miss him,â you whisper. âEven though heâs right there. I miss him like heâs alreadyââ Loâak turns quickly, hand reaching for yours. He grips it tight, grounding you.
âDonât,â he says. âDonât say it.â You look down at your joined hands.
âIâm so tired, Loâak,â you breathe. âOf being strong. Of pretending I donât need help.â
âYou donât have to pretend with me.â
You exhale a shaky laugh. âYouâre not supposed to be the one holding me together.â
âMaybe I want to.â His voice is lower now. Thereâs something in it that curls under your skin â a crack you shouldnât notice, but you do. You turn your head. Heâs looking at you. Really looking. The firelight flickers over his face, the high cheekbones, the small scar near his jaw, the dark, aching eyes.
Your voice comes out quiet. âThis feelsâŚâ He doesnât let you finish.
âI know.â
He shifts closer, slowly, like heâs not sure if he should. His fingers brush your cheek, just once. You donât stop him. He leans in, just enough that his forehead grazes yours. Just enough to steal your breath.
âIf I kiss you right now,â he murmurs, âwill you hate me for it?â
Your heart stops. You donât answer. And he doesnât move. You sit like that â too close, too quiet â with your foreheads barely touching, your breaths syncing, your hands still joined.
âI still love him,â you whisper. Itâs barely audible.
âI know,â he says again. âI wouldnât ask you not to.â
Then the baby shifts. A small sound. A flutter of fingers against Neteyamâs chest. You both freeze. And just like that, the moment shatters. You pull back slowly, blinking fast, like coming up for air. Loâak leans away, breaking contact, hand sliding from yours. He looks wrecked. Like heâs been caught in something he didnât mean to start.
âI should go,â he says.
You nod. âYeah.â
But neither of you moves. Your hands are still touching. Just your fingers. Barely. And the silence between you tightens, not like tension, but like grief. Like hunger. Like everything youâve tried not to feel has risen to the surface and is begging to be touched.
He looks at you. You look back. He leans in. And this time, you donât look away. Your breath catches, but your body doesnât flinch. His hand brushes your cheek again, fingers trailing behind your ear, so soft it almost doesnât register. Almost.
âLoâak,â you whisper. Just his name. Nothing more. But it cracks.
And he breaks. He kisses you. Slow. Gentle. Terrified. Heâs not rushing. Heâs not devouring. Heâs aching. His lips press to yours like heâs asking for permission he already knows he shouldnât need. Like he knows itâs wrong â but more than that, he knows itâs too late.
And still⌠you kiss him back. Only for a second. Maybe two. Itâs not passionate. Not carnal. Itâs not even romantic. Itâs just grief. Muted and drowning. A moment where you arenât the woman holding everything together. Youâre not Neteyamâs mate. Youâre not a mother. Youâre just you.
And Loâak is the only one who sees that. When he pulls back, he stays close â forehead against yours, breath ragged. âShit,â he whispers, eyes shut. âIâm sorry.â You say nothing. Because youâre not. Not yet. Your chest is rising too fast. Your hand is still on his wrist. You can feel his pulse beneath your thumb.
âI didnât meanââ he starts. âYes, you did,â you say. Not angry. Not hurt. Just⌠honest. And it shatters him. He nods. âI know.â
Then a soft sound breaks the air â not from the baby, not from the boys. From Neteyam. A shift. A breath. You both turn. He hasnât moved. Still and unchanged. But the guilt crashes into you anyway. Heavy. Sharp. You pull back completely, hands to your lap, your chest squeezing like itâs too full to breathe. Loâak stands up slowly. âI shouldnât haveââ You cut him off, eyes still on Neteyam. âItâs okay..â you whisper. âBut I think you should go.â
He hesitates. Just a second. Then he leaves. And you sit alone in the half-light, your baby sleeping on her fatherâs chest, your heart pounding from another manâs lips. You donât cry. You donât panic. You just stare, swallowing the weight of it â knowing that something has changed. Knowing that if Neteyam wakes up tomorrow, if he looks at you the way he used to, you will never be able to tell him. But youâll feel it.
The next morning, Neytiri was brushing your baby girlâs tiny curls back from her forehead, humming softly, when you approached. âCan you take them to Ronal for their checkups?â you asked quietly, trying not to wake your daughter. âShe wants to see them today.â
Neytiri turned, giving you a look that read deeper than words. âAre you all right?â You hesitated. âI just⌠need a moment.â
She nodded, collecting the baby in one arm and calling softly to Eylan and Likan. Your boys rushed over, Likan clinging to your leg briefly, then letting go when Neytiri took his hand.
You kissed each of them, your heart squeezing tight as Likan babbled a sleepy, âMama be back? âSoon,â you promised. âI love you.â
With Neytiri leading them off toward the reef healerâs marui, you turned away. But your heart stayed behind.
Loâak was exactly where you expected â perched alone where the reef cliffs met the sea, his feet dangling above the water, arms resting on his knees. The wind pushed through his hair, the waves whispering beneath. You approached quietly and sat beside him, not too close. He glanced sideways. âDidnât think youâd come.â
âI had to.â He looked back out at the ocean. âI didnât sleep. Couldnât.â You nodded. âMe neither.â A pause stretched out. You could feel the weight between you â not heavy with love, not sweet with longing. Just guilt. Raw and too recent.
âWhat we didâŚâ he said slowly, âI keep trying to explain it to myself. I know it wasnât about love. Wasnât even about wanting each other like that.â You watched the horizon. âWe were just too tired. Too empty. We found each other in that space.â
âI still hate that it happened.â You swallowed. âMe too.â A moment passed. Then, quietly: âBut I donât hate you for it.â He looked over. âI donât hate you either.â The wind picked up, salt brushing your skin. âI donât want to pretend it didnât happen,â you whispered. âBut I donât want it to happen again.â His eyes fell to the ground. âIt wonât.â
âGood,â you breathed. âBecause I canât lose him. And I still feel like Iâm losing myself.â Loâakâs hand reached out, fingers brushing yours gently.
Not holding. Just⌠acknowledging. âWeâll be okay,â he said. âEventually.â Just then â a scream carried across the reef. âGET HERâGET HER NOWâHEâS AWAKEâ!â
You both bolted upright. Kiriâs voice. Your heart slammed into your ribs. âNeteyam?!â you breathed. And then Loâak grabbed your hand without thinking, and the two of you ran. By the time you reached the mauri, the entire reef was there. Ronal. Tsireya. Aoânung. Neytiri with the baby held protectively in her arms, boys pressed into her sides. Jake knelt by the mat.
Neteyam was sitting up. Blinking. Awake. Loâak skidded to a halt beside you, breath ragged. Your legs wouldnât move â not at first. Kiri turned to you, eyes wild with tears. âHe opened his eyes. He said somethingâhe looked around, butââ You pushed through them all, falling to your knees at his side.
Neteyam looked at you, face pale, chest rising with effort. His gaze slid over you, confused but calm. You smiled through the tears. âHi. Hey. Iâm here.â
He blinked again. âAre you⌠the healer?â The words hit like ice water. Your breath caught. âWhat?â Jake turned sharply. Neytiriâs lips parted. Neteyam looked around slowly. âI⌠where am I? What happened?â
You didnât feel your legs give out, but suddenly you were leaning forward, gripping the edge of the mat. âIâmââ your voice cracked. âIâm your mate. Your wife.â
He stared at you like you were speaking another language. Neytiri stepped forward, voice soft and shaking, âitan⌠Neteyam⌠this is your wife. Your children are here. You are safe.â
Neteyamâs brows furrowed. âWife?â He looked at your baby in her arms. At Eylan and Likan â their golden eyes wide and scared. His eyes were blank. Tsireya stepped back, hand over her mouth. Loâak stood frozen beside you, his face twisted in disbelief, grief washing over him in a silent wave.
Neteyamâs gaze landed on him last. âLoâak,â he murmured. âI⌠I know you.â But even that seemed uncertain. Loâak stepped closer. âYeah, bro. Itâs me. Iâm right here.â Neteyam squinted, nodding slightly. âYou look⌠older.â And then he looked at you again. Eyes searching. Still not recognizing.
âIâm sorry,â he whispered. âI donât know who you are.â You didnât break down. Not yet. But your hand slipped from the mat. And Loâak was the one who caught it.
The room seemed to hold its breath. Neytiri stepped forward again, her voice low and tender. âNeteyam,â she said gently, kneeling beside you, âthis is [Name].â You watched his eyes flick to her, then back to you. The name hung in the air. He blinked slowly, and something passed across his face. Not clarity â but a glimmer.
â[Name],â he repeated, tasting it. âI know that name.â Your heart jumped. You shifted, leaning in, desperate for more. âYes,â you whispered. âYes, you do.â He tilted his head slightly, eyes narrowing as if trying to place a memory behind fogged glass.
âYou had long braids even at a five-year-old,â he murmured, more to himself than anyone. âYou followed me everywhere. You made me that ugly stone necklace and cried when I said it stankâ A soft laugh caught in your throat, half-sob. He looked up again, blinking hard. âThat was when we were⌠kids. Thatâs all I remember.â
Jake exhaled quietly through his nose. Kiri covered her mouth, face crumpling. You reached for his hand, but he shifted just slightly â not in rejection, but in confusion. He stared at your touch like it was unfamiliar. âI donât understand,â he said again, voice cracking. âWhy is everyone crying? Why do I feel like Iâm⌠missing something? A lot of somethings?â He turned his gaze slowly toward Jake. âHow long was I out?â
Jake hesitated. âMonths,â Neytiri said softly, before her husband could answer. âYou were shot. You almostââ She cut off. Her eyes burned. Neteyam looked down at his chest then, slowly lifting his fingers to touch the healed but angry scarring beneath the cloth. His breathing hitched.
His head snapped back up. âMonths?â He looked around wildly now â at the baby, at the boys pressed into Neytiriâs side, at the reef around him he didnât recognize. His fingers curled tightly into the bedding. âIâI donât remember this place,â he stammered. âI donât remember being here. Why are we not in the forest?â
âTheâŚthe sky people returned we came here because they were hunting us,â Jake said gently. âWe allâŚlive here now. Me, your mom, siblings and your wife and kids. This is our home now.â
âI donât understand,â he said, more panicked now. âWhy does everything feel wrong? Why do I know her name but not her voice? Notââ His voice cracked. âNot those kids?â Eylan whimpered softly. Likan shrunk against Neytiriâs side, clinging to her braid. The baby stirred in Neytiriâs arms and let out a soft, fussy noise â and Neteyam flinched at the sound. His eyes snapped to her. He stared.
âSheâs⌠mine?â he asked. âOurs?â You nodded, your voice almost inaudible. âShe was born while you were still⌠still asleep, just a couple weeks ago.â He dragged a hand down his face. âNo. No, this doesnât make sense.â
âNeteyamââ Kiri started, moving forward. âI donât know her,â he said louder, looking at the baby. âI donât know them. How can they be mine?â
Loâak tensed beside you. You could feel it in his grip. You turn to your boys who were shying away from their father saying he didnât know them and your heart ached.
Neteyamâs breaths were picking up, eyes darting. âWhy donât I remember you?â he asked again, his voice climbing toward panic. âIf youâre my mate, why donât I feel it? Why does it feel like Iâm seeing my own life from outside?â
You leaned in, your hand still lightly on his, even though he wasnât returning the touch. âBecause something happened,â you said quietly. âAnd we donât know why yet. But Iâm here. And weâll figure it out.â
He stared at you for a long time. Then whispered, âI feel like Iâm drowning.â You nodded, a tear falling as you brushed your thumb over his knuckles.
âSo am I.â Neteyam didnât pull away this time. He just looked at your hand on his, blinking back tears he didnât quite understand.
And Loâak, still kneeling beside you, kept holding your other hand, jaw tight, not speaking a word. You sat frozen, still holding your breath, your hand gently resting on his.
Neteyamâs gaze was on you â no longer searching, just⌠overwhelmed. His eyes were wide. Distant. Then, slowly, carefully, he pulled his hand away. It was a soft motion. Not cruel. Not forceful. But deliberate. Your heart cracked again. He pressed his palms flat to the mat, his shoulders hunched slightly as if he were curling in on himself, trying to make sense of a world that was too loud, too big, and far too unfamiliar.
You swallowed hard and pulled your hand back, fingers trembling in your lap. Neytiriâs face shifted, like something inside her folded in half. Loâakâs arm brushed yours. Subtle. Silent. âIâm sorry,â Neteyam said again, still staring down. âIâm not trying to hurt anyone. I justââ he shook his head, a quiet panic rising again in his voice. âIt doesnât feel real. None of this feels real.â
Jake stepped forward then, slow and calm, crouching near his son. âNeteyam, youâve been unconscious for a long time. Your body survived, but somethingâs wrong with your memory. You donât remember the reef. You donât remember what happened. And thatâs okay. Weâre gonna help you through it.â Neteyam barely nodded. He still wasnât looking at anyone. Only the floor. A small voice broke the stillness.
âNeteyam?â Everyone turned. Tuk. She had slipped through the gathered crowd, her steps careful and quiet. Her big golden eyes glistened with tears as she crept toward the mat, holding something in her arms â a small shell toy heâd carved years ago.
She knelt near him and offered it up with a little smile. âYou made this for me when I was little. Do you remember?â Neteyam looked up and froze. His brows furrowed hard, confusion blooming deep. His eyes roamed over her face, her frame, her tiny shaking hands. âIâŚâ he blinked. âI donât know you.â The silence snapped sharp. Tukâs smile faltered. Her lip quivered, and she clutched the shell tighter to her chest.
âIâm Tuk,â she whispered. âIâm your baby sister.â Neteyamâs face had gone pale again. âNo, Iâno. I have one sister. Kiri. Thatâs all. You werenât⌠there.â You could feel Neytiriâs body tense, just a breath away from crumbling. Tukâs chin wobbled. âBut I was. You used to braid my hair. You used to carry me everywhere when I was smallââ
âI donât remember,â Neteyam said, voice cracking. âI donât remember you. Iâm sorry, I donâtââ Tukâs face fell, and the shell slipped from her fingers. Kiri was already moving, sweeping her into her arms and pulling her away as silent tears streamed down her cheeks. Tuk buried her face in Kiriâs neck and sobbed. Neteyam shut his eyes tight, pressing his palms to his forehead. âIâm sorry,â he whispered again. âI donât understand why everything hurts.â Your own tears blurred your vision as you watched him â not just lost but shattered inside his own mind.
Neteyamâs breath hitched again. He stared at the place Tuk had stood, hands still braced on the mat, knuckles pale. He didnât look at anyone now. He couldnât. And then, like a dam breaking everything scattered. Jake stood swiftly. âI need to call Norm and Max,â he said to no one and everyone, already stepping toward the sat phone near the far wall. âIf this is neurological, theyâll know what to look for.â
Ronal moved forward without a word, her face set in that unreadable TsahĂŹk calm. She knelt beside Neteyam and placed her hands lightly over his head and chest, lips murmuring prayers too soft to catch. Tsireya and Aoânung stepped back to give her room, their hands linked tightly. Tsireya looked like she might cry. You didnât move at first. You were still kneeling right where Neteyam had pulled away. Right where heâd looked at you and not known who you were.
It hit you then, all of it. The months of keeping it together. Of surviving. Of healing. Of pretending you could carry all this weight alone. It caved in without warning. Your breath snagged. Your hands trembled. And then you stood, barely feeling your legs move, and backed away. Slow. Silent. Like if you just got far enough away, maybe it wouldnât crush you.
You didnât stop until you reached the far side of the mauri, your back pressing against the woven wall. But your eyes never left him. You kept watching. As if sheer will could force his memories back. âMama?â The small voice broke you. Eylan was at your side, his little hand wrapping around yours, eyes wide with confusion. Likan toddled behind him, thumb in his mouth, clinging to your leg. You sank down, arms wrapping around both of them. And then Neytiri was there too.
She knelt on the floor beside you without a word and pulled you into her arms like she used to when you were young. When you scraped your knees or cried after fights with Neteyam. She knew her son needed her in this moment, but her daughter needed her more. You clung to her tightly, your face buried in her shoulder, trying not to sob.
âI donât know what to do,â you choked out, voice splintered. âI donât know how to help him. I canât lose him again. I canât.â She stroked your hair, arms strong around you. âYou havenât lost him, maâite. Heâs here. His heart still beats. You brought him back.â
âBut he doesnât know me,â you said. âHe doesnât remember⌠us.â And just behind you, Loâak kneeled his hand brushed your shoulder, grounding you. âIâm here too,â he said quietly. âYou are not alone.â You nodded, your eyes never leaving the figure across the room. Still staring at your mate. Your love. The father of your children. Still watching the way he looked around the mauri like he was on another planet.
The mat was still where it always was, yours and Neteyamâs. But it hadnât felt like his since the day he woke up. Now, it was you and the boys. Eylan curled into your chest, Likan wrapped around your leg, the baby in the woven basinet beside you, close enough to touch. Neteyam watched you from across the room, the firelight casting your silhouette in soft gold. You were quiet, always tired, always holding one child while keeping an eye on the others. Always doing something. And he⌠just watched.
He slept on a new mat, set up on the other side of the mauri. The distance felt necessary. That first night when heâd pulled away from youâwhen he saw Tuk and didnât recognize herâit was clear. He wasnât the same. He remembered his motherâs voice, his fatherâs hands, Loâakâs laugh, Kiriâs connection to the forest. But he didnât remember you as his wife. He didnât remember the baby, the boys. And Tukâshe wasnât even born in his memory either. The look in your eyes when heâd asked who you were, never left him.
Since then, the mauri had been a blur of movement. Jake had sent word to Norm and Max. Ronal checked on him every day. Tsireya and Aonung kept their distance, though Tsireyaâs eyes lingered sometimes when she looked at you. Kiri stayed close. Neytiri moved between you and Neteyam like she was split in half. Everyone tried to act like things were normal. They werenât.
You never asked Neteyam to come back to the mat. You let him choose. You never tried to force the baby into his arms. Never corrected the way he hesitated when Likan reached for him. But he noticed. He noticed everything. He saw how you carried it allâhow you shifted the baby with one arm while holding Likanâs hand, how you smoothed Eylanâs hair and soothed him to sleep while the others cried. You never asked for help, but you didnât need to. Loâak was always there.
Loâak, who shouldâve been carefree. Who shouldâve still been the younger brother. But Neteyam saw how he moved around you like heâd done this all before. Helped you wrap the sling for the baby. Tied the back knot without needing to look. Lifted the basket out of your way without being asked. Fed Likan. Braided Eylanâs hair. Caught you when your legs almost gave out. And it wasnât just helpfulâit was natural. Familiar. Too familiar.
One morning, Neteyam watched as Loâak pressed a hand to your back while you sat feeding the baby, whispering something that made you exhale a tired laugh. Your head dropped forward, and he gently lifted the hair from your face. The touch was soft. The kind of soft that made Neteyamâs stomach twist.
Later that day, you stumbled again as you were going to a fussy Likan, only for a second and Loâak was there, catching you before you hit the ground. His hands went to your waist. You gripped his arms to steady yourself, eyes meeting in silence.
Neteyam stood up. The room shifted, just slightly. Kiri paused. Neytiri looked up. âIâll do it,â Neteyam said, voice sharp. You turned, confused. Loâak blinked.
Neteyam crossed the space and reached for Likan, who had been fussing on the floor. His hands were unsure, but the moment Likan saw him, the toddlerâs arms lifted in recognition. Neteyam picked him up. Held him. He didnât even know if he was doing it right. But Likan laid his head against his chest and didnât move. It was the first time Neteyam held one of his children since waking up. Something cracked open.
That night, he watched you sleep again. Your body curled around the baby. Eylan sprawled out beside you. Likan using your leg as a pillow. You hadnât even noticed how your hand remained outstretched, resting on the basinet like you needed the baby within reach. You looked like a home. His home. But it felt like you were a thousand miles away.
Loâak came in quietly and crouched beside you. He brushed your hair back. Whispered something. You nodded. Neteyamâs jaw clenched. His fists curled in the blankets.
The next few days, Loâak pulled back. Let Neteyam help first. Watched from a distance more often than he acted. He never said anything about it. But Neteyam noticed that, too.
He noticed the quiet glances from Kiri when he didnât know how to soothe the baby. The way Neytiri held both you and Tuk in the mornings. The way Jakeâs eyes lingered on him with a mixture of guilt and sorrow. Everyone knew he was missing something. And they were waiting.
Neteyam was trying. Trying to remember. Trying to learn. But more than anything, he was trying to understand how he could forget you. How you could be his mate, and he couldnât feel it. How Loâak could touch you like that, help you like that, and somehow it didnât seem wrong to anyone, except him.
And still, the baby slept with her cheek to your chest. Likan wrapped his hand in your braids. Eylan reached for you when he woke crying.
Neteyam sat on the edge of the mat, stiff and quiet, watching his own hands like they werenât his. Max crouched in front of him, scanning a pad while Norm gently rotated a small light near his temple. Every time Neteyam blinked, it felt like he was waking into a world he didnât recognize.
You sat nearby, the baby still asleep in the shallow woven basket beside you. Eylan was curled into Loâakâs lap again, sucking on his thumb â not out of habit, but anxiety. Likan was sprawled across your thigh, little fingers tangled in the strings of your chest wrap.
âIâm going to ask you a few things, okay?â Norm said gently. âNo pressure. Just answer what you can.â Neteyam nodded slowly.,âWhatâs your name?â
âNeteyam te Suli Tsyeykâitan.â Norm smiled, âthatâs good,â encouraged. âAnd your parents?â Neteyam looked across the room at Jake and Neytiri. âMa saânok. Ma sempu.â
âDo you remember where you grew up?â
âThe forest. The Omatikaya clanâ He glanced around the reef mauri. âThis place is⌠new.â Max nodded. âYou came here during the war after the sky people returned. Thatâs okay you donât remember yet. What about your siblings?â
Neteyam hesitated. âLoâak⌠and Kiri. I remember them.â His brow furrowed. âBut that little oneââ he pointed at Tuk, who stood near Neytiri, peeking out from behind her legs. âI donât know her.â Tuk shrank back slightly, confused. Neytiri placed a protective hand on her head. âThatâs Tuk,â Jake said gently. âYour youngest sister.â
âI never met her,â Neteyam murmured, voice flat. You glanced down, heart sinking. Norm didnât let the pause linger. âAnd this woman?â He nodded toward you. âDo you remember her?â Neteyam looked at you for a long time.
âI know her name,â he said quietly. âI remember her from before. When we were little. She always followed me around.â You almost laughed at that, even through the ache. âBut after that⌠nothing,â he whispered.
âNeteyam,â Max spoke up, shifting tone. âYouâve lost all memory past a certain point in your life. Itâs not unusual in cases like this â trauma, brain swelling, lack of oxygen, comaâŚâ
âIâve been asleep for months?â Neteyam cut in, sharp as if to confirm it again. Jake stepped forward. âYes.â
âAnd youâre all just⌠what? Waiting for me to get up?â
âOf course we were,â Neytiri said softly. He rubbed at his chest like it ached. âBut I donât even remember learning how to fight. Or fly. Or the war. I donât remember being a husband or a fatherââ He stopped. Looked at the children.
âYouâre telling me theyâre mine, but I donât feel it.â Loâakâs jaw twitched. Tsireya stepped beside him. âItâs okay to feel lost.â
âIs it?â Neteyam shot back, and his tone was more edge than emotion. Silence crept through the mauri. You didnât move. You couldnât. Neteyam turned to his brother, eyes narrowing just slightly. âYouâve been helping. With⌠them.â His gaze flicked to you. âWhy?â Loâak blinked. âBecause she needed help.â
âYou seemed very close,â Neteyam said, voice careful. Loâak frowned. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
You stepped in finally, firm but calm. âIt means heâs scared. And confused. And this is all too much for everyone involved, especially him.â
Neteyam looked at you, jaw tense. âI just donât understand how Iâm gone for a few months, and suddenly I wake up and my little brother knows more about my life than I do.â
âThatâs not what happened NeteââLoâak stood, slowly setting Eylan down beside him cutting you off. âBro, none of us wanted this. I helped because I had to. Because I love you. You think this was easy for anyone?â
You stood too, placing a hand on Loâakâs arm before it escalated. âStop. Donât fight. Please.â Jakeâs voice was heavy. âWe all did what we had to.â
âIâm not even mad about it,â Neteyam muttered, running a hand over his face. âI probably should be but, I just feel like I woke up in someone elseâs life. A strangerâs life.â Neytiri moved to kneel at his side. âItâs not someone elseâs life, maâitan. Itâs yours. We will walk with you until you find it again.â
Tsireya leaned gently into Loâak, whispering something that calmed him. He exhaled hard, jaw clenching, but he nodded.
Max tapped something on his pad. âWeâll give you space. The best thing now might be small pieces. Familiar things. Let him be around his family. Let him feel things before he tries to remember them. Just live, hopefully memories will resurface during daily activities which normally happens in cases like these.â
You looked down at your children. Eylan was clinging to Loâakâs hand. Likan was staring at Neteyam like he didnât understand why his papa didnât scoop him up. And your daughter, curled in her basket, let out a tiny sigh in her sleep. A sound Neteyam once swore was the best thing heâd ever heard when you had the boys. But he didnât even flinch this time. And you had no idea how to begin again.
The next few months were both careful and chaotic â a balance of heartbreak and fragile hope, as life moved forward with Neteyam awake but not truly returned. You tried not to mourn what you lost. He was alive. Breathing. Laughing sometimes. But he wasnât yours, not in the way he used to be.
At first, it was small things. Kiri brought out the old woven toys they used to play with as kids. She laughed when Neteyam remembered the names they gave them â âthatâs Oâupey, the angry monkey-bird,â he muttered one day, blinking in surprise at the memory. Tuk was still shy, unsure how to be with a brother who didnât know her. But eventually, she began sneaking beside him during mealtimes, nudging his arm with her shoulder until he smiled down at her and shared his fruit.
Loâak kept his distance for a few days after that first confrontation, letting space settle between you all. But he never strayed far from the kids. Eylan still ran to him when he scraped his knee. Likan still tugged on his braid when he was sleepy. Neteyam watched this from the edge of the room, always quiet.
Neteyam had moved into a separate space near the edge of the Sully mauri which was next to the one you both shared in the previous years. He couldnât sleep beside you, not with the weight of your shared history heavy on a mind that couldnât recall it. So, the boys stayed with you, and the baby girl in the woven basket slept at your side. Neytiri helped every night, whispering lullabies and staying close when your arms trembled from exhaustion.
Jake took it hardest in the quiet moments. His son was there, walking beside him, training again slowly, and yet the bond between them was stunted. Neteyam asked him once if heâd been a good warrior, and Jake nearly broke, but he told him how proud he was, how much of a good person, son, warrior, husband and father heâd always been.
âHe was the best,â he told Max later, voice rough. âHe died trying to save us. And now he doesnât even remember what he was saving.â
You and Neteyam began spending time together carefully. Norm had suggested building new memories to replace the missing ones. So, you started showing him the forest again â not the one youâd grown up in, but the edge of it, where vines crept low and fruit hung from branches. You told him the story of how you first met.
âYou were three, just turned three and I was two years old. I was sitting in the village, and you came up to me and sat down and shared your fruit with me.â you said one day, crouched in the sand beside the mangroves. âAnd you just sat there with me eating the little piece of fruit you kept for yourself and after that we justâŚstay together.â He smiled, barely. âSounds sweet.â
âIt was,â you whispered, âand so was the fruit, I knew cause as we got older you never ate fruit that wasnât overly ripe. It was always the sweetest u could find.â Neteyam didnât argue. But he kept his soft smile until it faded.
Tsireya was gentle with him, like she always had been. She reminded him of reef customs, reintroduced him to Aonung, and brought him on swims through familiar coral paths. There was never judgment in her voice â only patience. You saw her watching him when he wasnât looking. Once, you caught her eyes drift to you, and in that silence between you, there was no rivalry. Just pain shared in quiet solidarity.
Loâak helped where he could, but he never overstepped again. Not in front of Neteyam. Not anymore. But you felt it sometimes â the way Neteyam watched him carry Likan, or braid Eylanâs hair while you nursed the baby. It wasnât jealousy, not fully. It was a wound. A gap in time that didnât make sense.
One night, after a long day helping with repairs near the reef line, Neteyam lingered outside your mauri. You were inside, humming softly as you tried to get the baby down. He didnât enter. But his voice drifted through the curtain: âWhatâs her name?â
You froze. You stepped toward the flap, lifting it slowly. âWe havenât named her yet,â you said. âNot fully. We were waitingâ
He blinked. âWhy?â Your voice cracked. âBecause I choose too many names because there are a lot of pretty ones, and you are the one that normally has the final say.â He didnât say anything. But he didnât leave either.
Kiri was the first one to make him laugh again. She dragged him to the beach with a basket full of sea slugs and made him chase Likan, who had stolen one and was screeching with joy. When Likan fell in the shallows, Neteyam picked him up instinctively â and for one heartbeat, it felt like the past.
But when Likan called him âsempu,â Neteyam stiffened. âHe thinks Iâm someone Iâm not,â he told you later âNo,â you said quietly. âHe thinks youâre you. His father. And he is not wrong.â
One afternoon, the sun had barely started to dip beneath the waves when Tsireya brought Neteyam down to the shallows again. Loâak followed without a word, as if he didnât want to leave his brother alone, to keep him safe. It had become a quiet ritual, easing Neteyam into the life heâd forgotten. He was polite. Curious. Observant. And completely unaware of the landmines his presence was walking over.
The beach was half-crowded with young hunters cleaning their weapons and tending to their gear. Laughter floated above the gentle surf. âNeteyam?â Soft, like a breeze. He turned, and so did Tsireya and Loâak.
Lina stepped out from a cluster of others, a gentle smile pulling at her lips. Her eyes were kind, the curve of her voice never sharp. She was tall and pretty, wet curls cascading down her back, bow slung across her back, fingers stained with oil from cleaning arrowheads. Neteyam tilted his head. âHave we met?â
âYes,â she said gently, approaching but still giving him space. âWe used to train together. Before⌠everything.â He squinted, curious. âI donât remember.â
âThatâs okay,â she replied, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. âYou used to say you could outswim me. You never could.â He blinked, then laughed â and it was so easy. Like he didnât have the weight of a family he couldnât remember pressed into his chest. Like something about her didnât require effort. âI doubt that,â he said, smiling full now. âYou donât look like you swim very fast.â
She blushed faintly and laughed. âYou said I was faster than you once. But you also said I cheated.â
âMaybe I did,â he said, eyes twinkling a bit too long on her face. âSounds like something Iâd say.â Loâakâs brows lowered slightly. Tsireya shifted beside him, her hand sliding into his as if instinctually â as if to ground herself. Lina lowered her eyes a moment. âYou helped me build my bow. Back when my brother broke mine. You carved a seashell on the handle for me.â Neteyam looked down at the bow on her back, then back at her. âI did that?â
âYou said it reminded you of a sunrise.â There was a pause. His smile softened. âIâd like to see that sunrise again.â Loâakâs jaw slackened, his brother had always been smooth, but heâd only ever seen Neteyam really show interest in you. Tsireya sucked in a slow breath, eyes flicking toward her mate in quiet concern. They exchanged a look â full of too much they couldnât say out loud. Not here. Not now.
âYou⌠want to walk the shore?â Lina offered shyly, motioning toward the far end where the cliffs curved. And Neteyam nodded. âI think I do.â The two of them wandered off, feet kicking through the foam. Tsireya turned to Loâak. âWe need to say something.â His face was carved from stone. âNot yet,â he said, voice quiet. âSheâs been through too much already.â
âSheâll notice eventually.â He nodded, jaw tight. âThen weâll tell her eventually.â But neither of them moved. They just stood there, watching their brother disappear further down the sand â toward someone he never remembered, but now seemed to see more clearly than the people whoâd loved him all his life.
It was another sleepless night. It had been a couple of weeks now since Neteyam woke up and he was no where to be found. The baby had been fussing for hours, her soft cries escalating into breathless wails. Likan stirred again, kicking off his woven blanket, eyes puffy with confusion and frustration. Eylan was curled on his side but not asleep, thumb tucked against his lips the way he hadnât done in years. He didnât cry anymore, he just stared at the wall and sniffled, quiet in that way that made your heart twist.
You were pacing again. Rocking the baby against your chest, bouncing on tired feet, muttering soothing nonsense into her ear. You hadnât eaten much. You hadnât really sat down. You hadnât even noticed the blood on your lower back where the wrap had pulled too tight across your healing skin. The strain of childbirth, the strain of grief, the loneliness of loving someone who didnât know you anymore â it had started to show.
And no one had said it aloud, but the mat felt emptier now than when Neteyam had been unconscious. Because now he wasnât there, and you were alone.
The family tried, they did, Neytiri and Kiri checked in. Jake held Likan when he screamed for his father. Tsireya helped brush Eylanâs hair when he refused to do it himself. But they were pulled thin. And Loâak had pulled away.
You had noticed it a few nights ago, when you turned in desperation to ask him for help reaching the water jug, and he pretended not to hear you. When the boys cried for him and he sent Tuk instead. You hadnât said anything then. Maybe you thought it would pass or that youâd just figure it out.
But tonight, the pressure snapped. The baby wouldnât settle. You were shaking. Likan started crying. Again. And your hands were trembling so bad the cup of water you tried to pour spilled across the floor. And thatâs when Loâak walked in.
You didnât even hear him at first â just saw his shadow, crouched beside Eylan, checking on him. The soft whisper of âHey, buddy,â as he tucked the boyâs arm back under the blanket. Then he turned and saw you.
You were standing near the mat, the baby clutched to your chest, your whole body strung tight. Likan was crying in the corner, and you didnât even know what to do anymore â hold him? Put her down? Lie on the ground and cry with them? You blinked at Loâak like he wasnât real. And when he reached to take the baby from your arms, something snapped.
âNo.â He paused, arms mid-stretch. âWhat?â
âYou donât get to come in when itâs convenient for you.â Your voice cracked. âIâve been here. Alone. You were supposed to help me. You always did.âLoâakâs jaw locked. âI thought with Neteyamââ
âWell, Neteyam is gone!â you hissed, too loud, the baby jerking in your grip. You rocked her faster, whispering apologies, tears burning behind your eyes. âHeâs not dead but heâs gone, and I am so tired, Loâak. Iâm tired of holding this family together with spit and prayers.â
âI didnât know you wanted my help anymore.â
âI didnât want to need it anymore!â Silence stretched. You were shaking. Loâak took a slow step closer. âHeâs my brother,â he said, quietly. âAnd I thought⌠if I stepped back, maybe it would be easier. For everyone.â
âItâs not.â You looked up at him, eyes glassy and dark. âI didnât ask for this. And I didnât expect you to fix it. But you were the one who was there. You were the one who held me when she was born. And I know, I know Iâm asking a lot of you, and I know these kids arenât your responsibility, but I need help sometimes.â Loâak flinched.
The baby finally drifted into exhausted sleep. You sank to your knees beside Likan, curling him against your chest as best you could. Loâak just stood there, like he didnât know if he should stay or go. âIâm sorry,â he said. âI thought Neteyam would come back and remember how to be everything you needed.â You didnât look at him. Just whispered: âMe too.â
He knelt down beside you then, hands hovering before gently reaching for Likan, taking him from your arms. The toddlerâs sobs stilled a little against Loâakâs shoulder.
âYou should rest,â he murmured. âIâll stay tonight.â You didnât thank him. Not with words. But you leaned into him â just slightly â and he stayed there. Holding your child, watching you sleep with the baby curled in one of your arms. The other reaching for Eylan to try easing him to sleep. But no one said the thing hanging in the air between you. That he wasnât the one who was supposed to be there. That he shouldnât have had to fill the space his brother left behind.
Neteyam stayed close. His mauri was just a few steps from yours â the one you used to share â and right next to his parentsâ. Close enough to hear the baby cry at night. Close enough to sometimes catch the scent of your cooking drift over in the mornings. Close enough that the boys could wander to his mat and sit nearby, even if he didnât fully understand why it made his chest tighten when they did. But he never stepped inside.
Even as the weeks passed and his strength returned, Neteyam never once crossed that threshold. Not even when he watched you from the corner of his eye, swaying the baby back to sleep just outside. Not when Eylan called out âSaânok, saânok! Look!â while holding up a fish Loâak helped him catch. Not even when Likan would wander over, curious and bold, standing at the edge of Neteyamâs sleeping space before being gently redirected by Kiri or Neytiri.
He stayed in the in-between. And Loâak, for all his own complicated grief, never once gave up on him. He came by almost every day. Sometimes with food. Sometimes with little tools or handmade knives â âYou used to like this,â heâd say casually. Other times, he just sat, throwing pebbles at the sand as Neteyam stared at the sky. âYou talk less than you used to,â Loâak muttered one day, nudging him. âYou used to talk a lot. Mostly telling me I was being dumb.â
Neteyam gave a faint, crooked smile. âThat still sounds accurate.â It was moments like that flickers, glimpses, that made Loâak hopeful.
But then there was Lina. Sheâd been there from the beginning, one of the few Metkayina Neteyam didnât look at with the uncomfortable weight of âI should know you.â Because he didnât. Not really. Not in memory. So, it was easier.
Easier to walk with her on the shore after a long day. Easier to practice knife-throwing with her and not feel like a failure when he missed. Sheâd laugh gently, encourage him, sometimes place her hand over his to guide the movement. She smelled like sea salt and wind. Spoke softly. Never stared at his scars. Loâak noticed it all.
He didnât mention it but, he didnât stop it either. But he started watching more closely. Not out of jealousy â no, not that. It was something closer to protection. For you. For the boys. For a version of his brother that Loâak still believed was inside there somewhere. And the strange thing was, Neteyam wasnât doing anything wrong. He wasnât cruel. He wasnât trying to replace anyone. He was just lost. And Lina, with her easy calm and open eyes, was the only place that didnât make him feel like he was failing someone just by existing.
Meanwhile, the nights for you stretched long and raw. The baby cried more now. Maybe she felt it â her father just a few paces away, but never close. Eylan had grown quieter, his eyes constantly drifting toward his fatherâs silhouette. Likan had taken to curling into your side and not letting go, even in sleep.
The family helped where they could. Neytiri especially â splitting her time between you and Neteyam, her heart torn in half. But no matter how many hands helped, you were still up at night. Still aching. And Neteyam was still outside, just beyond the flap of the mauri. Awake. Watching the stars. Not knowing why they felt lonelier than before.
One day the boys were laughing as they chased one another along the shore, their feet kicking up puffs of white sand. You watched them with tired eyes from just outside the mauri, the baby restless in your arms.
She was crying again â not a loud, piercing wail, just that miserable, fussy sound that always came in waves when she couldnât seem to settle. Youâd walked her, rocked her, hummed and whispered to her until your throat ached. Nothing helped today. You bounced her gently, pressing a kiss to her damp cheek. âI know, sweet girl. I know.â
Behind you, there was a shift in the air. You turned your head just slightly â and found Neteyam standing there. He wasnât close. Just at the edge of the clearing, half in shadow, watching with unreadable eyes. He hesitated. âI can take her,â he said finally, voice low and unsure. âIf⌠if you want.â
Your heart gave a soft, startled flutter. You straightened slowly, blinking at him. âYou donât have to,â you murmured. âI know,â he said. âBut I want to.â You looked down at the baby in your arms. She was still fussing, fists clenched, brow furrowed like the whole world was wrong. She didnât know her father had never held her. Didnât know heâd been sleeping when she was born. Didnât know he didnât remember her at all. But somehow⌠maybe she felt it.
You stood carefully and stepped toward him. Your arms trembled a bit â not from fear, just the weight of the moment. You cradled her close a second longer, then gently passed her over. He took her like she was made of glass. The way his hands moved â cautious, reverent. His whole body stilled as she settled into the crook of his arm. She squirmed at first, then let out a small, sighing cry⌠And stilled. He looked down at her. Then up at you. âShe looks like me,â he said quietly.
You nodded. âShe does.â âI never held her before now?â he asked. âNo,â you whispered. âYou havenât really.â He looked away, shame flickering across his face. But the baby â your baby â made a soft, curious coo and blinked up at him with slow, sleepy eyes. His mouth parted, stunned. âI donât remember her,â he said. âBut I feel like I should.â You reached out gently, fingers brushing his arm. âYou donât have to force anything. Youâre holding her. Thatâs enough.â
He looked at you â really looked â then back down at her. âWhatâs her name?â he asked. You exhaled slowly. âShe doesnât have one yet. I⌠I couldnât pick. I tried. But I couldnât.â He looked at you again, a strange mix of emotion tightening his brow. âYou said I used to choose.â You nodded. âAlways. I would give you too many names. I could never make up my mind, and youâd just⌠decide. Like you already knew.â His eyes fell back to her, the tiniest crease forming between his brows. âDo you have names now?â he asked. You swallowed. âThree.â
He waited. âSahri. Eiweya. Kiriya.â He mouthed them silently. Then, softer than breath â âKiriya.â You blinked. âThat one,â he said. âShe feels like that.â She shifted in his arms, letting out a tiny sigh before nestling her head beneath his chin. You stared at them, heart thudding, something breaking and stitching together all at once. âKiriya,â you echoed. âThen thatâs her name.â He didnât say anything else. But he didnât hand her back either.
The beach wind had quieted, the tide soft at your feet. Kiriyaâs cries had faded into soft snuffles as she dozed in Neteyamâs arms. Her tiny hand rested against his chest; her brow furrowed even in sleep â just like his.
You were watching Eylan and Likan build crooked towers of shells in the sand when Neteyam glanced over at you. âI should bring her in,â he said. You turned to him slowly, heart tapping at your ribs. âWill you stay? For dinner?â He didnât answer right away. His eyes flicked back to the baby. âDo you want me to?â You blinked, caught off guard by the question. âOf course,â you said. âThe boys would love that.â Neteyam gave a tiny nod, shifting the baby carefully. âOkay.â
At the mauri, the scent of roasted yovo drifted over fresh leaves and warm stones. Neytiri and Jake were already sitting, Tuk bouncing between them with a carved spoon in each hand. Ronal and Tsireya moved around the fire, while Kiri passed plates to everyone. Loâak was sitting cross-legged, peeling fruit with his knife and chatting with Aoânung.
He looked up when he heard your voice first â then saw who was walking beside you. His eyes widened slightly. Neteyam holding the baby. Loâak stood up halfway, his fruit forgotten. A grin broke across his face before he could stop it. âBro.â His voice cracked. Neteyam paused, shifting under the attention. âShe was crying,â he said stiffly. âI was just⌠holding her.â Neytiri was already clearing a space near her side. âCome. Sit.â Loâak backed up, still smiling, as you and Neteyam stepped into the circle. You caught the warmth in his eyes â not surprise. Relief. Eylan barreled past you, nearly knocking over a bowl. âSheâs still sleeping?â
âStill,â Neteyam said. Likan scrambled onto your lap, thumb in his mouth, then reached toward his baby sister. âDada hold her,â he whispered, proud. âShe sleep wike a bug,â he added, pressing his hand over his cheek to mimic her squish. Neteyam smiled â a real one. Quick and uncertain, but real. Loâak sank down beside him, nudging Eylan aside just enough to pass him a plate. âYou gonna eat or just be the baby chair tonight?â Neteyam snorted. âThink sheâs claimed me.â
âGood,â Loâak said. âShe deserves it. So do you.â You looked over at him, and he gave you a small wink â not smug, just glad. Like something inside him had finally relaxed. Dinner passed in slow waves â small bites, soft laughter, cautious conversation. Kiri watched you like a mother pent up with hope. Tsireya offered seconds. And when Kiriya stirred, Neteyam didnât pass her off right away. He held her close, tracing the fine wisps of hair over her temple. You didnât say anything. But when he looked at you and said softly, âI like the name,â it almost broke you. âMe too.â
Afterward, when the children had eaten their fill and begun nodding off against each other, Loâak helped clean up. He passed behind you and murmured low near your ear: âHeâs trying. I see it.â You looked back at him. âAnd Iâm glad,â he added with a grin. âYou look lighter tonight.â You pressed your fingers to your lips, almost in disbelief. So did he. Because for the first time in many weeks, you all sat under the stars together. And Neteyam stayed.
Over the next several days, Neteyam had been around sometimes, other times disappearing off to somewhere in the reef. You honestly didnât think much about it, having your hands full with the children kept your mind occupied, and ever since the night he had dinner things have been better between you, or thatâs what you thought anyways. You had no idea he was off bonding with another woman.
The first time, they were hunting along the reef ledge. Lina was leading him through narrow tunnels in the coral, glancing over her shoulder to smirk at him every few paces. âYouâre too slow,â she calls over the bubbling tide. Neteyam grins, swimming harder to catch up. âIâm letting you win.â
âOh?â she tilts her head, treading water as he nears. âYou always this generous, or just with me?â He chuckles â canât help it â and bumps her gently with his shoulder. She bumps him back.
The second time, they were drying gear near the rocks. Linaâs hair is loose, still dripping, skin shining with salt and sun. She reaches out to adjust the strap of his sling.
âStill too tight,â she mutters, tugging it just slightly. âYouâll bruise yourself.â His hand brushes hers. âWhat would I do without you?â
âStarve. Or bleed out,â she says, looking up at him through her lashes. Neteyam bites the inside of his cheek to hide a grin.
The third time, he finds her sitting on a flat stone, braiding thin strips of shell into a necklace. âThat for me?â he asks, flopping down beside her, deliberately brushing her leg with his tail. She laughs, doesnât move away. âYou wish.â He leans on one arm. âWhat if I do?â She goes still â just for a second â then smiles again. âThen maybe Iâll make you one. If you catch a bigger fish than me tomorrow.â
âEasy.â
âYou talk too much.â
âYou like it.â She says nothing â but she doesnât argue.
The fourth time, they were in the shallows, dusk falling in golden streaks across the ocean. She splashes him lightly, then darts away with a laugh. He chases, catches her wrist under the water, and spins her in a circle. Their laughter echoes against the reef wall. âYouâre impossible,â he says, chest heaving. âYouâre slow.â
âI let you go.â
âLiar.â He pulls her close again â just slightly â hand on her arm, holding her steady. She doesnât pull away. âYou gonna let go?â she whispers. He hesitates.
And thatâs when they hear it. A sharp inhale. Both of them turn â and Tsireya is standing at the edge of the sandbank, staring. She wasnât meant to find them here. Not this close. Not this comfortable. Her eyes flick between their bodies â wet, pressed too close, laughter still fading in the air. Lina steps back instantly and Neteyamâs hand drops. Tsireyaâs voice is tight. âLoâakâs been looking for you.â He doesnât answer so she turns and walks away.
That evening when the tide had rolled in, moonlight catching on the crests as the reef swayed in rhythm. Most of the village had gone quiet â the firelight around the Sully mauri low and flickering. Tsireya found Loâak by the far edge of the reef, feeding dried root to an ilu calf. His hair was damp, eyes tired. She didnât speak at first. Just stood there, jaw tight.
Loâak glanced up. âHey,â he offered, but her expression stopped him cold âWhat?â
âI saw them again.â He frowned. âWho?â
âNeteyam. And Lina.â Loâakâs shoulders dropped. âYeah, I figuredââ
âNo,â she said sharply. âYou donât understand. This isnât just awkward flirting anymore.â
She stepped closer, voice barely above a whisper. âShe touched his chest today and he was touching her arm. Laughed like it was nothing. Then leaned into him likeâlike she wanted him to notice. And he did.â Loâak looked away, jaw clenching.
âShe doesnât care,â Tsireya hissed. âShe knows. She knows heâs married. She knows you all told him. She knows he has children. And she still looks at him like that.â
âNeteyam doesnât rememberââ
âThat doesnât excuse her.â Loâak shook his head. âI donât think he sees it the way we do.â Tsireya didnât back off. âHe doesnât have to know everything to feel whatâs right. Something in him should know. That kind of bond doesnât disappear just because you forgot a name.â
âHeâs not the same,â Loâak muttered. âNot yet.â
âAnd sheâs taking advantage of that,â Tsireya snapped. Silence hung between them, thick as sea fog. âI didnât tell her,â She said quietly. âI didnât say a word. But I swear, Loâak⌠if Lina puts her hands on him again like that, I will.â He exhaled slowly. âDonât.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause sheâs already breaking,â he said, voice strained. âEvery day sheâs holding it together for those kids, for the family. You think watching him forget her wasnât bad enough?â Tsireyaâs eyes softened.
âShe finally got him to hold the baby,â Loâak added. âNamed her with him. The day they sat and ate with the family. First time in months. It was right before that.â Her voice dropped to a whisper. âThen why is he out there with her?â
âI donât know,â Loâak admitted, eyes glistening. âBut I canât be the one to break her.â Tsireya nodded once, quietly. âThen Iâll wait. But not forever.â Loâak stared at the stars, wondering how long he could keep pretending nothing was burning.
Neteyam sat on the warm stone, legs stretched, hands braced behind him as the waves lapped close. Lina was beside him, knees drawn up, the curve of her smile impossibly soft in the golden light. âYour shoulders tense again,â she murmured, scooting closer.
He didnât stop her when her fingers brushed along his shoulder. âI think you like touching me,â he said, not quite teasing, not quite serious. Lina laughed under her breath. âMaybe. Youâre not stopping me.â He turned to look at her â really look.
âYouâre not like the others,â he said slowly. âEveryone stares at me like Iâm supposed to be someone they remember. You just⌠let me be who I am now.â
âYou donât owe anyone a past you canât remember,â she whispered.
âYou donât even ask questions.â
âI already know the answers that matter,â she smiled. âI like you.â
He blinked. âYou donât care that Iâmââ
âMarried?â she finished, almost playfully. âYou donât remember that. Itâs not the same.â There was a pause. A long, heavy pause.
âIâm stillââ he started, then faltered. âSheâs kind. Patient. But itâs like Iâm supposed to feel something I donât.â
âYou donât have to explain anything to me,â Lina said, brushing her fingers along the side of his jaw. âYou just⌠feel this. Now.â And then she kissed him. Not a short, confused kiss. Not unsure. This was deliberate. Gentle, but real. And Neteyamâhe didnât pull away, not right away. His hands twitched against the rock. When he did break it, it was breathless, conflicted. âLinaââ She smiled. âYou can stop me next time. If you want.â
Behind a rock ledge just above them, Neytiri stood frozen. She had come looking. Something in her heart told her something was wrong. And what she heard broke her completely. Every word. âYou just feel this. Now.â The kiss. She almost called him out. Almost walked forward and made her presence known. But she didnât. She couldnât. Not when her son â her eldest â the one she buried her soul into, kissed another woman while his mate rocked their baby just a few steps away in the village. Neytiri backed away, breath trembling, hand pressed hard against her chest. She didnât speak. But something inside her, something sacred, began to unravel. Not for herself, but for you.
The night air was still and thick with the hum of distant ocean wind. Only the crackle of low embers broke the silence inside the Sully mauri. Neytiri sat by the hearth, her body unmoving, eyes fixed on the firelight flickering across her knuckles.
Jake entered quietly, wiping his hands with a cloth after helping Kiri settle Eylan and Likan into their sleeping mat while you tended to Kiriya. âYouâve been quiet all night,â he said, crouching beside her. Neytiri didnât look at him. Her voice, when it came, was soft but cut with steel. âI saw them.â Jakeâs brow furrowed. âWho?â Her jaw clenched. âNeteyam. And the girl.â He sat down slowly, feeling the air shift. âWhat girl?â Neytiri nodded once. âThat Lina girlâ Two nights ago. I followed him. I wanted to be sure.â
Jakeâs voice dropped. âWhat did you see?â Her eyes lifted to meet his, burning. âThey were kissing. Her hand was on his jaw. He did not stop her.â
Jake swore under his breath, rubbing his temples. âShit.â Behind the thin woven wall, there was a scuffle of movement. Someone breathing too loudly. Too sharply. Neytiriâs ears twitched. A moment passed before Loâak stepped into the light, arms at his sides, face drawn in guilt. Tsireya stood behind him, hands knotted in front of her, not meeting anyoneâs eyes.
âI know,â Loâak said before either parent could ask. âIâve known.â Neytiri rose slowly to her feet. âHow long?â Loâak held up a hand. âIâve known for a while. Since before he even held the baby. I saw them. First just talking, then⌠more. Since he started to go to the tide pools the hunters hand out by.â
Jakeâs eyes narrowed. âAnd you didnât think to say anything?â
âI didnât know how,â Loâak admitted. âSheâs already barely holding things together. Sheâs feeding the baby alone. Putting the boys to bed. Waiting on him to come home. And I justââ
âYou should have told us,â Neytiri snapped. âI thought heâd come around,â Loâak said, voice cracking. âI thought once he saw her â really saw her â saw the kids â it would all fall into place. I thought the memory flashes were working.â Jakeâs jaw worked. âBut he kept going back to Lina.â Loâak nodded. âHe kept going back I guess.â Neytiriâs voice was trembling now. âAnd you let her believe he was trying.â
âI didnât want to be the one to break her,â Loâak whispered. âShe still believes in him.â Tsireya finally spoke, quiet but firm. âLoâak and I first saw them. I told him we should say something, but he said it wasnât time.â
Neytiri turned away, her fists clenched. âHe kissed another woman. While his mate waits. While she takes care of those babies alone.â
Jake stood slowly, running both hands down his face. âWe need to talk to him.â Loâak looked up quickly. âNot yet. Please. Heâs remembering. Not all of it, but enough that I think heâs confused. Let me talk to him first.â
Neytiriâs eyes narrowed. âAnd if he touches her again?â Jake answered this time, voice cold and low. âThen itâs no longer confusion. Itâs a choice.â The word no one said was still thick in the air. And none of them could bear to imagine the moment you would find out.
The sky was dark, save for a stretch of stars reflected on the surface of the sea. Small waves lapped at the sand as Neteyam stood alone, arms folded, staring out at the horizon. His back was to the village, but he hadnât gone far â not really. He could still hear the soft calls of nocturnal birds, the echo of distant laughter, the crackling of fires. Loâak found him there.
He didnât say anything at first. Just stepped up beside his brother, letting the silence linger. The two stood shoulder to shoulder, the sea wind tossing their braids gently. Neteyam spoke first, barely above a murmur. âDid they send you?â Loâak shook his head. âNo. I came on my own.â Neteyamâs jaw tightened. âI already know what this is about.â Loâak sighed. âThen that makes it easier.â A long pause. Then, quietly: âI saw you with her, bro.â Neteyam flinched, but didnât turn. âYouâve been spying on me?â
âNo,â Loâak said softly. âJust looking out. For her. For the kids.â Neteyam finally looked at him, eyes conflicted, searching. âItâs not like that.â
âYou kissed her,â Loâak replied, not harshly, just stating fact. âAnd youâve been sneaking off for weeks.â Neteyamâs mouth opened, but no words came. Loâak shook his head slowly. âIâm not here to yell at you,â he said. âIâm not our dad. Iâm your brother.â
He hesitated, then added, âAnd Iâm hers too. Not by blood â but I helped catch your daughter when you were unconscious. Iâve held your sons when they cried for you. Iâve seen the way she looks at you like you hung the stars.â Neteyamâs eyes shimmered with something â regret, maybe, or confusion. âI donât know whatâs happening in your head,â Loâak said, voice low. âI know this memory thing is eating you up. I know youâre not the same. But that doesnât mean you get to break her in silence.â
âI didnât mean to hurt her,â Neteyam said. âBut you are,â Loâak whispered. âEvery time you donât come home. Every time she lies to the boys and says youâre busy, or training. Every time she feeds the baby alone. And she wonât ask you to stay, she has no idea. Sheâll wait for you to come to her.â
Neteyam turned his face away. âShe thinks youâre getting better,â Loâak went on. âShe thinks youâre coming back to her. And you are, sometimes. That night on the tablet, when you smiled at her. You felt like you. Thatâs whatâs killing her. She hopes.â Loâak paused, then said gently, âIs it Lina?â Neteyam didnât answer. âSheâs not your mate,â Loâak said, still calm. âShe doesnât know your sonsâ lullabies. She didnât carry your child. She didnât sit at your side when you were dying.â Neteyam closed his eyes. His voice was a whisper. âI know.â
Loâak looked at him with something like grief. âThen why are you still going to her?â The silence hung, heavy and raw. âI donât know,â Neteyam said. âSheâs⌠easy. I donât have to feel like Iâm failing when Iâm with her.â Loâakâs eyes darkened. âShe doesnât ask you to remember.â
Neteyam nodded. âShe doesnât look at me like sheâs waiting to find the old me.â Loâak stepped closer. âShe doesnât know the old you. We do. And she does.â Neteyam looked at him, chest tight. âWhat if I never remember everything?â
âThen you start from where you are,â Loâak said. âBut you donât build something new while sheâs still holding the pieces you left behind.â Neteyam turned away again, swallowing hard. Loâak let the words sit. He didnât demand. He didnât lecture. Just before he walked away, he added one last thing, soft as dusk. âYou were always the one I looked up to. The steady one. The protector.â He paused. âIf you canât remember it from your own memory, remember it came from me.â And then he left his brother alone with the stars.
Itâs the next morning. Youâre up early with the baby, trying to braid Eylanâs hair while Likan chews on a toy. Neteyam returns from the beach. His shoulders are tense. His steps are slow. You smile when you see him. âHey,â you say softly. âWe missed you at breakfast.â He hesitates. Then: âCan we talk?â Your stomach drops. You hand Eylan the comb and step outside with him, the light warm on your skin.
He doesnât look at you when he speaks. âI⌠I need some time. To think. To breathe. Things are getting clearer but⌠itâs a lot. Being here. With you. With the kids. With the pressure to feel everything Iâm supposed to feel.â You go quiet. His words twist in your chest. âYou donât feel anything?â
He shakes his head quickly. âNoâ I do. I think I do. But I donât know whatâs real and whatâs me wanting it to be real. Last night felt⌠good. You felt safe. Familiar. But then I woke up this morning andâŚâ His hands clench. âI was terrified again. Of losing myself to a life I donât remember.â You swallow hard. âSo, you want space.â He nods. You nod too, but your lips tremble. âOkay.â
âItâs not forever,â he says, voice low. âI just need to understand who I am⌠on my own.â You force a small smile. âOf course. Take the time you need.â But when he leaves, heading toward the far edge of the village â you donât know heâs going to see Lina.
youâre left standing outside the mauri with the wind in your hair and a silent ache blooming beneath your ribs. And for a long moment⌠you just stand there. Because what are you supposed to do? Chase after him? Beg him to stay? Demand an explanation he doesnât even understand himself? No. You go back inside. You wipe your eyes before the kids see.
The sun had barely risen when he walked away. Soft golden light slanted through the mangrove roots, stretching long shadows over the damp earth. The village was still, caught in that in-between hush before the day began â birds just beginning to chirp, ocean breeze barely rustling the fronds above.
Inside, the air was warm and faintly sweet from the firepitâs embers. The kids were already stirring. Kiriya had begun to fuss softly in her basket, tiny fists working against the woven cloth around her. Eylan sat nearby, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm and yawning loudly â a tangle of half-finished braids still jutting out at strange angles. Likan lay sprawled on his belly, drooling into a woven mat and humming something tuneless to himself. You didnât feel ready. But ready or not â you were their world. And you were not going to let them see you fall. Youâve already let them down too much as it is.
You moved on instinct. You knelt first beside Kiriya, scooping her into your arms with the ease of a mother whoâd done this a thousand times, even if it still ached in your chest. She whimpered once before latching against your breast, and the tension in her small body melted almost instantly. You rocked gently, her soft suckling grounding you. âThatâs it, my little star,â you whispered, brushing your nose against her temple. âEat well. Youâve got a big day ahead.â
âIs it done?â Eylanâs voice broke into the silence, scratchy and young. âMy braids?â You turned your head to him, gave a soft smile. âNot yet. Come here.â He scooted over eagerly, plopping himself down in front of you with crossed legs. âYou stopped braiding it,â he said, not accusing â just observing. âI know,â you murmured. âMama needed a moment. But Iâm here now.â
You finished nursing Kiriya and shifted her gently to your shoulder. With one hand, you resumed braiding Eylanâs hair, fingers nimble even with your youngest curled against you, slowly drifting back to sleep. His hair was thick, like his fatherâs, and slightly wild â stubborn strands that always slipped from your grip. But you were patient. You always had been. Likan toddled over next, dragging his woven bird toy, his eyes still puffy with sleep. âHungry,â he mumbled, pressing his face to your knee. You leaned down and kissed the top of his head. âSoon, baby boy. Let Mama finish your brotherâs hair.â
âI help?â he asked, pointing at the pile of fruit. You chuckled. âYou can hand me the yovo, hmm?â He nodded proudly and waddled off on his mission. By the time you finished Eylanâs last braid and tied it off, Kiriya was burping sleepily against your shoulder and Likan had managed to bring back half a yovo fruit, teeth already sunk into it. You couldnât help the small laugh that bubbled up. âThank you, sweet boy. Very helpful.â He beamed, mouth full.
You got up slowly, adjusting Kiriya in your sling so she could sleep tucked against your chest. The boys followed as you moved toward the firepit, preparing their breakfast from leftover grilled fish and soft yovo mash. Eylan fetched the dishes, Likan danced in circles, and you worked â stirring, plating, humming softly â while the sun crept higher outside.
There were no grand declarations. No epiphanies. Just movement. Just being present. Just⌠trying. Because yes, you were his wife. But you were more than that. You were their mother. Their comfort. Their rhythm. Their constant. And no matter who stayed, who left, who forgot â you would always be the one still here.
The stars were beginning to blink awake as the sea breeze curled through the village, quiet and cool. Dinner had come and gone. The children were already tucked away â Eylan and Likan asleep in their nest, Kiriya dozing peacefully in her wrap against your chest. You sat close to the firepit outside Jake and Neytiriâs mauri, cradling her gently, her small weight grounding you more than anything else could.
Kiri was plaiting Tukâs hair beside you. Loâak leaned against a post nearby, Tsireya tucked against his side. Jake and Neytiri sat across the fire, quiet, eyes flickering between the flames and each other. It was Kiri who finally spoke. âNeteyam didnât come back with you today?â You shifted slightly. âHe said he needed some space. Just for a while.â Loâak stilled. You didnât see his jaw tighten, but Kiri did. Jake looked up. âHe told you that directly?â
You nodded. âThis morning.â There was a beat of silence. You were still trying to gauge the reactions when Neytiri stood slowly, brushing off her hands. âHe asked for space,â she repeated, voice carefully neutral. âFrom what, exactly?â You blinked. âFrom everything, I guess. The memories. The pressure. Me.â You looked down at Kiriya. âHeâs not running. He just⌠needs air.â
âAir?â Neytiri said sharply. âHe has all the air in the world here.â Jake put a calming hand on her leg, gently. âMaâTiri.â Loâak straightened up suddenly. âItâs not just about the memories.â Everyone looked at him. Kiriâs eyes narrowed. âLoâak.â But he ignored her. âHeâs confused, yeah. But itâs not just about that.â âLoâakâŚâ Neytiri warned under her breath. He backed off instantly. âI just meanâitâs complicated for him. You canât judge him for needing time.â You watched him, head tilting. âYou okay?â He nodded too quickly. âYeah. Just tired.â
You didnât press it. The odd quiet that followed said more than any of them did. You felt it but couldnât place it â the edge in Neytiriâs tone, the way Loâak wouldnât quite look at you, the heaviness in Jakeâs silence. Kiri shifted closer to you, her presence warm, protective. âYouâre all acting weird,â you murmured, trying to joke. âIâm the one who got asked for space. I should be the one brooding.â
âYouâre handling it with grace,â Jake said finally, offering a quiet smile. âWeâre proud of you for that.â You met his eyes, then Neytiriâs. Hers were guarded. Too guarded. Something was off. Still, you smile and looked down at your sleeping daughter. âHe just needs time. Thatâs all.â No one argued with you. But no one agreed either. And as the fire crackled quietly, your heart ached with the weight of all the things left unsaid â because you were still standing in the light, and everyone else⌠already knew something you didnât.
Three months later, your mornings had changed. No longer did they begin with tear-streaked cheeks or aching silence. They started now with purpose. With Eylan giggling as he tried to braid his own hair, with Likan waddling into your arms, babbling half-formed words, and with Kiriyaâs soft, sleepy coos as she nursed while wrapped against your chest. You rose before the sun most days, not out of sorrow, but to reclaim yourself piece by piece.
You had begun to hunt again. The first time you picked up your bow, it felt foreign in your hands, the weight unfamiliar after moons of barely using it. But the moment your feet touched the forest floorâalone, quietâyou remembered. The strength in your arms, the rhythm of your breath, the way the jungle had always spoken to you. You didnât go far the first time, but it was enough. Enough to remember who you were. Not just his mate. Not just a mother. But a warrior. A woman. A force.
Over time, you started to laugh again. It came slowly at firstâsoft smiles, half-hearted chuckles. But then, one afternoon, you met up with two old friends from your youth, both mothers now, and one cracked a joke about her toddler eating a bug. You laughed so hard you cried. You realized you missed yourself. And more importantly⌠you missed joy. Joy you havenât felt since neteyam had his memories. You helped mend nets, wove baskets, joined other mothers in gathering sea fruits, and swam farther than you had since giving birth to Kiriya. You didnât do it for Neteyam. You did it for your sons, for your daughter⌠and for you.
Jake and Neytiri loved you like their own. They helped when they couldâwatching the kids when you needed to gather, bringing fresh meat after long hunts, or simply sitting with you at night when you couldnât sleep. They noticed your growing strength, the fire returning to your eyes, and they were proudâeven if it broke their hearts that it had to be this way.
They said nothing of Lina. They didnât have to. The pain in Neytiriâs eyes whenever she looked at her son, the way Jake sighed deeply whenever the topic of space came upâit was all there. They knew. And they hated it. But they also understood that Neteyam was lost in his own way, and anger wouldnât guide him home. Patience might.
Loâak was the one who struggled the most. He couldnât understand why his brotherâwho had once looked at you like you were the starsâcouldnât see you now. Loâak tried to hold his tongue, but it gnawed at him. Tsireya was the one who calmed him, reminding him that love canât be forced, and healing isnât always linear. Even Tuk knew. She had cried one night in your arms, confused and worried, asking if Neteyam would ever come back to being him. You didnât have an answer.
The children were adjusting, each in their own way. Eylan, ever the oldest, had grown more protective, more aware growing into a man who mimicked his father without even knowing. He watched your face carefully when you thought he wasnât looking, quietly stepping in to help with Likan or Kiriya when he sensed you needed a moment. Likan, wild-hearted and two, was all tangled curls and endless energy, bouncing between tantrums and giggles as he tried to mimic his big brotherâs every move.
And Kiriya, just three months old, was beginning to show more of herself: tiny hands always reaching, eyes wide and curious, gurgling happily whenever you or her brothers came near. She loved being held against your chest, calmed instantly by your heartbeat. Together, the three of them were loud and loving and beautifully chaotic. They didnât understand everything, but they were still happy. Still whole, because they had you.
Each night, after the children were asleep and the fire was low, you knelt and prayed to Eywa. For strength. For patience. For your mate to find his way backânot just to you, but to himself. You no longer waited by the door, hoping he would come. But you didnât close it either. You lived. You thrived. You healed. Quietly, painfully, and steadily. And though you didnât know it⌠Your light was still reaching him. Even from afar. Even in the arms of another. Something in him still remembered. And Eywa⌠was still listening.
Meanwhile with Neteyam, he spent his months with Lina, she always waited for him at night. Not coy. Not nervous. Prepared. Her hair was down, lips glossed with fruit oil, and her wrap â if you could call it that â barely covered anything. A soft green length of fabric tied at her hip with a loose knot that looked like a gentle breeze might undo it. Neteyam didnât miss that. And she knew.
âLong day?â she whispered one night, slipping behind him, arms curling around his waist, mouth pressing to the back of his neck. She was tall, taller than you, where you stood at Neteyamâs chest, she stood just below his jaw. âYou can relax now, youâre with me.â Her hands slid across his stomach, dipping low. He exhaled, chest tight. Sometimes, he didnât stop her.
Her fingers found him hard, aching â always from her touch, her scent, the way she pressed into his back like she belonged there. Sheâd stroke him slowly, lips dragging along his jaw. Sometimes sheâd murmur praise. Other times, sheâd drop to her knees, hands sliding up his thighs â but every time her lips brushed against him, the sound of footsteps, a call in the distance, a flicker of lightâ Heâd freeze. âWaitââ heâd say, hands gripping her shoulders. âNot now.â She always looked up, mouth flushed, eyes wide. âYouâre always say that.â
âI know,â he breathed. âI know.â But he wouldnât let her finish, wouldnât let her cross that line. Even the night she climbed into his lap, completely bare under her shawl â guiding his hands to her breasts, her thighs parted over his hips, rocking gently until he gasped against her mouth â he stopped it. Her fingers had worked his tewng loose. Her tongue was in his mouth, his hands full of her heat and softness, his head spinningâ Then a branch snapped outside. A childâs laugh. A shadow. He gripped her hips, breathless. âNo. We shouldnât.â She groaned in frustration, but softened, kissing him again. âYou keep saying that.â
âIâm trying to do the right thing.â
âBut you want me,â she whispered, grinding down again, making him stutter. âDonât lie.â He didnât. He never did. Because yes, he wanted her. She was beautiful. Willing. Soft and warm and slick against him. But every time they got close â too close â something pulled him back. Something inside or outside stopped him. And when he left her mauri, half-dressed and still aching, heâd collapse onto his sleeping mat and try to breathe.
Thatâs when the dreams began, not nightmares â memories. You. Laughing beneath him in the forest, hair tangled, your moans stifled by his kiss. And just felt it, he loved kissing you in those dreams, loved dipping his head and pressing up on your skin. You on your back, guiding him in with a sigh like youâd done so many times he just couldnât remember them all yet. You crying with joy, his son in your arms. You pulling his hands to your growing belly. And the way you looked at him like he was your whole world. He started to wake up with a tightness in his chest. Not just lust. But longing. Heâd press his palm over his heart like it could stop the ache. The confusion, the guilt. Because Lina felt good. Safe in a way. Familiar now. But when he touched her, it was never like that. The feeling of worship. Of oneness. That only lived in the dreams. And those dreams were growing stronger, more vivid, more real. Which meant, little by little⌠Lina was losing him.
he didnât know when exactly the dreams had started exactly. Maybe it was after the night you looked at him with flushed cheeks, when the sunlight kissed your skin and your laughter echoed through that small space between you, when his fingers brushed yours and something deep in him shifted. Or maybe it was earlierâwhen Likan grabbed his tail one day on the beach toddling between his legs like he was so used to doing it. Maybe after he once again, stopped Lina from getting her desperate fuck. He wasnât sure.
But now, they came more and more often. Vivid. Unshakable. Sometimes warm and quiet, like drifting through memories too soft to be real. Other times sharp, intenseâdesire threading through his body until he woke in the dark, chest heaving, skin damp with sweat, painfully aware of the ache low in his belly.
At first, he thought they were just dreams. Imaginings. Wishes. But they kept happeningâso detailed, so real, down to the sounds of your voice, the way you smelled, the exact curl of Likanâs fingers around his thumb. Eylan laughing, splashing in the river as you reached for him. You smiling up at Neteyam in the forest, eyes glowing with pride and love. The feeling of carrying you into your new mauri when you first arrived at Awaâatlu, both of you still dripping from the sea. The first night Likan was born, when you placed the baby in his arms and cried into his chest, or when you both introduced Eylan to his new baby brother.
He started writing them down, carving the details into the bark of a sea tree near the cliffs where no one would look. Just in case. He needed to be sure. Needed proof. He wanted to bring them to you someday, look you in the eye and ask, Was this real? Did I carry you across the ocean? Did we love like this, this deeply, this hard?
And then there were the other dreams. The ones he didnât know what to do with. Your hands on his chest, your mouth on his skin. The soft groan he made when your hips rolled against his. The sound of your laughter tangled in heavy breathing, the press of his hand between your thighs as your voice broke on his name. Your body beneath him, around him. Sometimes playful. Sometimes desperate. Always you.
He would wake up with his heart racing, painfully hard, breath caught in his throat. It was impossible not to imagine what it had felt like in realityâyour warmth, the way you moaned when he whispered in your ear, how you gripped him when he pressed deep inside. Sometimes it left him quiet for hours. Other times, he found himself flushed, frustrated, pacing near the waterâs edge, unsure if it was guilt or longing.
He never told Lina. How could he? Those dreams never had her in them. Only you. He still didnât remember everything. He was still confused, overwhelmed, pulled in two directions. But each night when he curled beneath the woven mat in his quiet mauri, Eywa whispered a little more of his past back to him. Gently. Deliberately. Sometimes cruel in its intensity, sometimes kind in its simplicity.
The cove was half-shadowed, kissed in dusk light and the faint shimmer of tide pools. The waves lapped gently, rhythmic, soft like the hush of a whisper. Neteyam sat alone on a rock worn smooth by the sea, one leg bent, the other dangling just above the sand. His jaw was tight. His eyes distant, mind loud Lina found him there again, just as she always did, silent steps through the shallows, stopping just behind him. âYou always come here when your headâs too loud,â she said softly, voice just above the waves. âI like that.â
He didnât turn, but his shoulders didnât tense. He was used to her now, her voice, her scent, her closeness. âIâve been dreaming again,â he murmured, fingers drumming against his thigh. She took the invitation. Sat behind him on the rock, then leaned forward, pressing her chest to his back gently, her arms wrapping around his middle without hesitation. Her hands settled flat against his stomach. âAbout her?â He nodded slowly.
âI see her sometimes. The boys. The baby⌠Kiriya.â He said the name carefully, like it might shatter in his mouth. âItâs not just flashes anymore. I can feel the emotion of the moment. Like I was really there.â Lina rested her chin against his shoulder, her fingers tracing slow, calming shapes against his stomach. âDreams can be like that,â she murmured. âVivid. Powerful. Especially when youâre searching for something â for yourself. Maybe your mind is trying to fill in blanks with what your family told you.â He was quiet.
She turned her head slightly, brushing her lips just behind his ear, soft, innocent. âBut here, now⌠none of it is confusion.â He inhaled â not sharply, but deep â and Lina felt the moment shift. She took it. She moved to sit beside him, hips pressed to his, then slowly reached for his hand and brought it to her thigh, guiding his fingers to rest there. âYou werenât dreaming when you kissed me,â she said, voice velvet smooth. âOr when we touched.â Her hand slid along his wrist, up his arm. âYou werenât someone else. You were you. And you were relaxed. Real. With me.â He looked at her now, eyes shadowed with conflict â torn. Linaâs smile was soft, never smug. She cupped his cheek with one hand, her thumb grazing his jaw.
âShe may have been your past, Neteyam,â she whispered. âBut Iâm your present.â Then she leaned in and kissed him. It wasnât shy not like the first few times. Her fingers slipped behind his neck, pulling him closer as she moved her body more fully into his lap. His hands hesitated â one landing on her hip, the other still limp at his side â but she coaxed him gently, slowly. Her touch was steady, persistent, like the tide eroding stone. âYou donât have to force yourself to remember someone you donât feel for anymore,â she murmured against his lips. âWhat if sheâs just part of the story others told you? What if you donât fit there anymore?â Neteyam looked at her â really looked at her.
âI donât know what fits,â he admitted, low and raw. âI just⌠I donât know.â Lina kissed him again â slower this time, her fingers tangled in his hair. âThen stop trying to remember who you were,â she breathed. âLet yourself be who you are. Now.â And for a while, he let her hold him like that. Let her mouth guide his. Let her arms wrap around his neck and pull him close, as if she could remake him from memoryâs ashes into something brand new. And for now â she had him. Right where she wanted him.
Linaâs fingertips danced along the cords of muscle at the back of Neteyamâs neck, so light it almost tickled. She leaned in again â not to kiss him this time, but to let her forehead rest against his. Their breathing synced in the quiet. âYouâre always thinking too much,â she murmured, voice barely audible. âEven now.â His hands had stilled at her waist. She could feel the tension buzzing just under his skin. âI see it, you know,â she whispered. âThe weight you carry. The questions. The guilt.â She traced down his arm slowly, then took his hand in hers, guiding it back up, placing it over her heart. âBut here, with me⌠you donât have to answer to anyone. You donât have to know anything. You can just be.â
His jaw clenched, throat tight. His fingers flexed against her chest, and for a moment she thought he might pull away. But he didnât. Lina smiled gently and leaned back just enough to look at him fully. âYou told me about your dreams,â she said, brushing his hair from his face. âHow they feel so real. So full. But those dreams⌠theyâre just pieces. Fragments.â He blinked slowly, watching her lips more than her eyes.
âYou said they feel like memories, but maybe theyâre not. Maybe theyâre just your mind trying to give shape to something you lost.â Her fingers slid up under the leather strap across his shoulder, curling against his collarbone. She leaned in again, this time pressing a kiss to his cheek, then the edge of his jaw. Neteyam exhaled hard through his nose, but his hands came down to her thighs, steadying her in place. Linaâs voice softened, velvet sweet. âBut this?â She guided his hands again â down her back, over the curve of her hips â slowly rocking forward so he could feel the press of her body. âThis is real. This moment. Me.â
Neteyam groaned under his breath, jaw tightening, eyes fluttering shut for a second before he opened them again. âItâs not that simple,â he said, voice rough. âWhy not?â She nuzzled against his neck. âBecause I feel like Iâm losing my mind.â
âYouâre not,â she whispered. âYouâre waking up in a life you donât remember. A mate you donât recognize. Children who look at you like youâre someone youâre not. Thatâs not your fault.â She felt him tense under her, so she kissed the side of his neck, slow and soft. âYou didnât choose this, Neteyam.â
âI didnât choose you either,â he said quietly. That made her pause. Not because it hurt â but because it told her she needed to move more carefully. So she gave a soft laugh â not mocking, but light, breezy. âNo,â she agreed. âBut sometimes Eywa puts the right person in your path at the right time. Someone who sees you. Who gives you space to breathe.â Her hands cupped his face gently now. âIâm not asking you to choose me. Iâm just here. With you. Right now.â
His eyes flicked down â to her mouth, her neck, the way her chest rose and fell close to his. His hands were still on her thighs, but one began to trail upward slowly, as if he were testing what felt familiar. Or maybe⌠what felt good. Lina closed the distance again, this time kissing him with more intent â a slow burn, coaxing his mouth open with hers, one hand sliding down his chest and resting low on his stomach. She didnât push further. Not yet. She just let the kiss carry the weight, the confusion, the need. And when he didnât stop her, when he kissed her back and let his hands roam, when his grip tightened and his mouth opened wider â she knew. He was spiraling. Floating somewhere between desire and doubt. Between what used to be and what he didnât remember. So she kissed him deeper, then slower. Then softer.
When they broke apart, breathless and flushed, she smiled and leaned her forehead against his again. Her fingers grazed his chest. âYou donât have to feel bad,â she murmured. âYouâre allowed to want something that feels good. That feels real.â He didnât answer. Just stared at the ground over her shoulder, jaw taut, hands still trembling on her body. âYouâre not the same man you were before,â Lina whispered. âYou donât have to force yourself to go back to someone you donât know. Maybe⌠Eywa gave you a second chance. A clean start.â Neteyam said nothing. But he didnât pull away either.
And that was enough for her. Because as far as Lina was concerned â she already had her foot in the door. And every time he let her touch him, let her pull him in, let her speak softly into the cracks in his memory â He was already choosing her. Even if he didnât know it yet.
His lips were still warm against hers. Lina didnât move at first â didnât dare. Her fingers lingered on his chest where sheâd pulled him to her, heart thudding like a war drum in her ears. She kept her eyes on his mouth; breath caught in her throat like sheâd swallowed fire. That kiss was real. That was progress. Slowly, she let out a trembling breath and smiled up at him, soft and sweet, playing the part, sheâd carved out so perfectly.
âYou always taste like the sea,â she whispered, voice low. âEven after all this time.â Her thumb dragged gently along his jawline, a featherlight touch meant to make him stay. To keep him close. Hers. Neteyamâs eyes flickeredâuncertainty warring with something else. Want. Or confusion. Maybe both, she didnât care which. Because he hadnât stopped her. That was enough.
She shifted closer, knees pressing against his hips. Her fingers slipped from his jaw to the cords of muscle along his throat, brushing softly, tracing. âYou donât have to say anything,â she murmured. âI know what it feels like to be lost. You donât owe anyone your peace.â He swallowed but didnât answer. Just watched her. Watched the way her hands moved. The way her voice soothed. The way she filled the silence. Lina leaned in, nose brushing his. âLet me be that peace,â she whispered.
She had worked too hard for this, too long. From the moment she saw him step out off his ikran, a baby in his arms and war in his shoulders, she knew. She felt it. The weight of who he was â who he used to be. And she envied it. All of it. The love. The family. The way his mate clung to him like gravity. He never noticed her back then. Not really. But she noticed everything. She started helping with hunts she didnât care about. Took training sessions near the Sullys. She gave him fruit, offered quiet jokes, asked him questions no one else did â just to hear him speak.
But his eyes always found their way back to her. The mate. The mother. So she stepped back. Smiled politely. Waited. Until the sky burned and blood soaked the sand, and suddenly, Eywa delivered him straight to her â broken, blank, and so beautifully lost. She had thanked the Great Mother that night. And every night since. Linaâs hand slid beneath the braid resting on his collarbone, fingertips brushing the skin just under the hollow of his throat. âI donât ask you to be anything,â she said softly, lips brushing his cheek. âI donât ask you to remember. I only ask you to feel whatâs right in front of you.â
Her hand guided his again, this time to her hip, letting it rest there, just above the bone. His fingers twitched against her skin, but he didnât pull away. She smiled. âYouâre always tense around them,â she murmured. âLike youâre failing some invisible test. But with me⌠I see you breathe again.â She leaned in, barely touching her lips to his ear. âYou feel like you when youâre with me.â And he did. She made sure of that. She never questioned him. Never pushed. She laughed at everything he said. She let him lead even when he didnât know where he was going. She was patient. Attentive. Always near but never too much. She never even brought up the mate. Or the children. Not unless he did. And even then, only with a quiet smile and understanding eyes. The kind that said itâs okay that you donât love them. You donât have to.
Because eventually⌠He wouldnât go back. Eventually, he would stop dreaming of a woman he didnât recognize and realize how easy it was to just let her go. Eventually, he would choose the calm over the storm. And she would be there. Waiting, still smiling, still soft and still his.
Neteyam began spending more time outside during the day, often seated in the sun with Kiri or helping Jake mend a fishing net, eyes following the sway of the sea in silence. He spoke more now â slowly, cautiously â as if testing the weight of his voice in old rhythms. The boys would come up to him sometimes. Eylan offering him small gifts, Likan tugging at his tail to get attention. He didnât always know how to respond, but he didnât back away.
That morning, you caught him holding Kiriya again â this time with her tiny fingers wrapped tightly around his braid as she gurgled happily in his arms. He didnât realize you were watching. But he smiled. The dreams were changing him. Heâd begun writing them down â scratching notes into thin leaf parchment when he woke, tracing the edges of memory with almost frantic curiosity. He saw your face in all of them. Your laughter. Your tears. The sound of your voice calling him âtĂŹyawn.â
And lately, heâd been seeing Loâak too, laughing with him, hunting beside him, helping deliver Eylan, pulling him from danger. The images werenât clear, but the feeling was. Love. Loyalty. Trust. He needed to talk to someone. So that night, he found Loâak sitting on the rocks near the shore, watching the tide pull against the reef. âYou got a minute?â Neteyam asked, voice rough from use. Loâak glanced over. âYeah, Whatsup bro?â They sat together in the moonlight, the ocean lapping at their feet. For a long time, Neteyam said nothing. Then, âI keep dreaming of you.â Loâak blinked. âUh⌠thanks?â
âNo,â Neteyam huffed a laugh. âNot like that, skxawng. I mean⌠we were close. Werenât we?â Loâakâs smile faded into something soft. âYeah. You are my brother. My best friend.â There was silence between them again, warm and heavy. Neteyam nodded slowly. âI feel it. Even if I donât remember it all yet. I feel like I trusted you more than anyone.â
âBesides your wife, you did,â Loâak said. âYou still can.â Neteyam rubbed a hand over his face. âEverythingâs so loud lately. The dreams wonât stop. And every time I look at herââ His voice faltered, but Loâak knew who he meant. âItâs like⌠my body remembers even if my head canât.â Loâak swallowed, choosing his next words carefully. âYou donât have to force anything. But if you feel it⌠follow that.â Neteyam looked at him, searching. âYou think Iâm a terrible person?â
âNo,â Loâak said without hesitation. âI think youâre lost. But youâre finding your way back.â Neteyam exhaled, the corners of his mouth twitching up. âI missed you.â Loâak grinned. âI missed you more.â
But further back, hidden in the shadow of the reef wall, Lina stood â her back pressed against the stone, breath caught in her throat. She hadnât meant to follow him, not at first. But when she saw him walking toward Loâak, toward his family, something gnawed inside her. And when she heard what he said â that he dreamed of them, felt something for them, missed them and that gnawing turned to fear. No. No! She had worked too hard to lose him now.
She had touched him, claimed pieces of him, given him herself in every way he would allow â all to be the one he reached for in the darkness. She couldnât compete with dreams. Not if he started believing they were real. And so, as the brothers laughed quietly under the stars, Lina stepped back into the shadows â her smile gone, her hands curling into fists. If he was starting to remember who he was⌠Then she had to remind him who he could be. With her.
The lanternlight inside Linaâs mauri flickered low, casting her face in a warm, amber glow. Outside, the reef was quiet, only the occasional lap of water against stone and the breeze threading through the woven walls. Neteyam stood near the entrance, silent for a long while. He shouldnât have come. He knew that. But her voice had pulled him in again, soft and aching when sheâd said, âCan we talk?â
Now he stood in the hush of her space, tense and unsure. She hadnât touched him yet â not like she usually did. She just sat there, on the mat, her knees drawn to her chest, her head resting lightly against them. âYou didnât come yesterday,â she said quietly. His brow twitched. âI had a lot on my mind.â
âI noticed,â she said, her voice tight. âYouâve been⌠different.â He didnât answer. She glanced up at him â eyes glistening. âI keep thinking I did something wrong.â Neteyam exhaled. âYou didnât.â
âThen why donât you want me anymore?â He flinched. Lina dropped her gaze, fingers curling against her legs. âYou come here, but you donât touch me like before. You donât even look at me the same way.â
âI never meant to hurt you,â he murmured. âIâm justââ she whispered cutting him off. âI know. Confusedâ A shaky breath escaped her lips. âBut⌠you kissed me, Neteyam. You held me like I mattered. And IâI thought that meant something.â
âIt did,â he said quietly. âThen why do I feel like Iâm losing you?â He stepped forward, uneasy. âYouâre not.â But she shook her head, blinking fast. âYou are slipping away, and I can feel it.â A tear slid down her cheek, and she looked at him with trembling lips. âWhat did I do wrong? Why canât I be enough?â Neteyamâs chest ached. He didnât have an answer. His mind was too full â dreams, flashes of laughter, touches he couldnât place, names that held weight even without memory. Lina leaned forward slowly, crawling toward him on her knees, eyes wide, wet. âDo you still want me?â she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. âOr was I just⌠something to hold while you were lost?â
âLinaââ
âBecause I was there,â she said. âI didnât ask for anything. I didnât push. I just stayed. I listened. I held you. And nowâŚâ She reached for his hand. âYou wonât even look at me.â
He looked down at her hand in his â warm, trembling. Her fingers threaded with his, then slowly, she guided his palm up to her shoulder, pressing his hand there like she was pleading with her skin. âTouch me like you did before,â she whispered. âLike I matter to you. Even if itâs just for tonight.â His fingers twitched.
She moved closer, lifting his hand to her collarbone now, guiding his touch as if it were his idea. Her breath hitched when his thumb brushed her neck. âThere,â she said. âDo you feel that?â He swallowed. âThatâs me,â she murmured. âStill here. Still wanting you.â Her hands slid to his waist, her head tilted, eyes searching his face. âLet me have this. Let me keep something before it all disappears.â His heart pounded. She rose slightly onto her knees, her chest pressed to his, her breath warm on his lips. Her hands curled around his shoulders, pulling him gently, softly, until his forehead was resting against hers.
âI need you,â she whispered. âI need us.â His eyes closed for a moment, the weight of her words curling around him like vines. Guilt. Sadness. Confusion. His body responded â it always did â but his mind was a storm. And then, like always⌠a noise outside. Children giggling, passing by. A familiar laugh in the distance â his brotherâs. Neteyam tensed. He stepped back slowly, his breathing unsteady. Her hands slipped from his skin, her face falling. âWhy?â she asked, voice breaking. âWhy do you always pull away?â
He didnât answer. He just looked at her, gaze heavy with something she couldnât quite decipher â sorrow, maybe. Or guilt. Or both. Then he turned and left. And she stayed there, staring at the doorway like it betrayed her. But in her chest, something twisted. If soft didnât work⌠maybe it was time for something harder. Because she was not going to lose him. Not after everything.
The stars blinked above him as Neteyam walked the short distance from Linaâs mauri to the Sullyâs. His hands were still warm from her touch, but his heart felt heavier than it had when he walked in. He hadnât said anything on the way out. He never really did. The flicker of torchlight reached him first â then the sound of laughter, childrenâs voices, and the smell of grilled fish and roasted sea roots drifting through the humid evening air, home. He stopped at the edge of the mauri, just out of sight, watching.
Jake sat cross-legged with Tuk and Eylan, cutting bits of fish for both of them while they chattered excitedly. Neytiri was nearby, laughing softly at something Loâak had said while Kiri fed Likan, who squirmed and babbled with his usual endless energy. You sat to the side with baby Kiriya in your lap, bouncing her gently while you tried to eat with your free hand, the sling now loosened. Her little head bobbed as she cooed and reached for a piece of your braid.
The space was warm and full, lively and familiar. It felt like something he didnât realize heâd been missing. Then Tuk spotted him. âNeteyam!â she chirped, waving hard with both arms like her life depended on it. Everyone turned. And youâyour head snapped up, eyes meeting his with that small, soft smile that hadnât changed, even through all of it. He stepped in slowly. Loâak shifted over without a word, patting the space between him and Eylan. âYouâre late,â Jake teased. âI didnât know I was invited,â Neteyam replied lightly, settling down between his brother and son. âYou always are,â Neytiri said, smiling warmly at him.
Eylan wasted no time crawling into his lap, talking a mile a minute about the reef games he played with his friends and how he won twice but only because one of the boys cheated once and tried to pull his tail underwater. Neteyam listened. Really listened. His arm curled around the boy instinctively, his smile more genuine than it had been all day. Kiriya squealed from your lap; eyes locked on her big brother now curled in her fatherâs arms. Her little hands wiggled excitedly in the air. âSheâs been very chatty today,â you said softly, brushing a hand over her head.
âLike you?â he replied before he could think twice. Your eyes flicked to his and your open your mouth in offense playfully, the words surprised even him. âWas that an insult? You saying I talk to much?â You laugh and so did he, a real chuckle. Then Loâak leaned in, smirking. âWe were just talking about the clan gathering.â
âThe big one?â Neteyam asked, eyes going to Jake. Jake nodded. âFew weeks. All the coastal villages are coming in for it. Singing, dancing, food â even a few races and competitions.â You grinned. âEylan is already planning what heâs going to wear. And Iâm thinking weâll leave Kiriya and Likan with a sitter so we can all actually enjoy it.â Neteyam blinked. âA sitter?â You nodded and told him about a friend of Ronalâs who volunteered to watch them. âShe agreed to watch them,â you said. âSo the family can go.â
âSheâs kind,â Neytiri added, âand Likan already loves her.â Neteyam looked toward Likan, who was now face-first in Kiriâs lap, pretending to be a sea creature while she dramatically scolded him for drooling on her skirt. Everyone laughed. Neteyam looked down at Eylan still cuddled into his chest. The world felt right for a moment. Lighter.
âI remember this,â he murmured softly. âThis feeling,â he said more clearly. âThis noise. The way everyone talks over each other. Itâs warm. I remember that.â Loâak smiled at him, wide and proud. âYou always said it drove you crazy.â
âBut I liked it,â Neteyam replied. Eylan looked up. âYou remember us, sempu?â Neteyam hesitated. He didnât want to lie. âNot fully. But I dream about you. A lot.â Eylanâs eyes lit up. âWhat do I do in your dreams?â
âYou cry a lot,â Neteyam teased, nudging him with a grin. Eylan gasped. âI do not!â Everyone burst out laughing. Likan shouted something unintelligible and flailed in agreement, as if he understood everything and Kiriya squealed again, bouncing in your lap. For the first time in weeks, Neteyam laughed â fully. Loud and real. He leaned into his brother, who bumped shoulders with him. You looked down at your baby, then at your boys, your mate sitting there like he always belonged, and you smiled.
Dinner had ended with the warm hum of laughter still lingering in the air, the scent of smoked fish and sea root still clinging to everyoneâs fingers and hair. Youâd barely noticed how late it had gotten until Tuk yawned with a dramatic stretch, and Eylan slumped more into Neteyamâs side, rubbing his eyes and murmuring sleepily. Likan was already asleep in Kiriâs lap, his little hand still clutching a half-eaten piece of roasted yovo fruit. Kiriya lay against your chest, blinking slowly from the sling, her fists curling into your wrap like she didnât want the night to end. You rose slowly, brushing the side of her cheek. âAlright, bedtime,â you murmured. Neteyam was already shifting, carefully gathering Eylan into his arms. The boy sighed, nestling in with a contented little hum.
âI can get Likan,â he said, glancing toward Kiri. She smiled softly and handed over the sleeping toddler. âHeâs heavier when heâs asleep. Good luck.â Neteyam gave a little huff under his breath and took him carefully, one arm under Likanâs bottom, the other supporting his back. âWhen did they get so big?â he muttered. âYouâve been gone a while,â Kiri said gently, then turned to help Neytiri tidy the dinner space.
With the baby against your chest and the boys in his arms, the two of you left the Sully mauri and padded softly across the sand toward your own. The stars blinked above, and the soft crash of waves against the reef formed a lullaby in the dark. Your home was quiet, warm. The fire pit glowed low with embers, just enough light to see by. Neteyam crouched and carefully lowered Likan onto the sleeping mat, then Eylan, who stirred immediately with a dramatic groan.
âI donât wanna sleep,â Eylan mumbled. âYouâre already sleeping, itan,â Neteyam said dryly, nudging him. âAm not,â came the sulky reply. âIâll settle Kiriya,â you murmured, already tugging at the ties of her sling, her soft breath hot against your skin. âIf you settle the boysâ?â
âDone,â Neteyam said. It was not done. Eylan rolled onto his side, bumped into Likan, and immediately yelped, âHeâs kicking me!â Likan sat up with a startled cry, wide-eyed and completely disoriented. âNo kicking! No!â You sighed. âGreat. Now theyâre both up.â Neteyam rubbed his face. âI jinxed it.â
âClearly.â The next half hour was a blur of soothing and shifting. Eylan wanted a different pillow â ânot that one, the soft one!â and Likan kept scooting off the mat to look for a rock he swore he lost during dinner. You nursed Kiriya while walking gently in a slow loop, whispering soft lullabies, but she squirmed and whimpered, unsettled. âI think sheâs overtired,â you murmured. âShe gets that from you,â Neteyam called quietly from the mat. You shot him a look and he grinned.
Eventually, Eylan conked out again, curled around one of the large shell-shaped pillows. Likan was sprawled across Neteyamâs chest, one tiny hand curled against his fatherâs collarbone, breathing slow and deep. And Kiriya⌠well, she was still fussing. You sat on the edge of the mat, nursing her again, hoping this time it would soothe her to sleep. Neteyam turned his head where he lay on his back, looking at you through half-lidded eyes. âYou make that look so easy,â he said softly. You huffed a tired laugh. âI donât think my back would agree.â
âShe looks so much like you when sheâs angry,â he whispered. âShe looks like you,â you corrected, brushing a finger down her nose. Neteyamâs voice dropped lower, warmer. âYouâre really beautiful when you do that, you know.â Your eyes flicked to his. âFeeding her,â he added. âYou look strong. Like a mother. Like a wife.â You felt your cheeks flush, heat crawling up your neck. âIâve been doing it for months.â
âI know.â His gaze lingered on your chest for a moment longer before flicking back up to your eyes. âStill.â You cleared your throat. âYou should get up. Youâll fall asleep like that.â He smiled rubbing a hand on Likanâs back âI might.â
âYou havenât slept here in months.â He looked down at the cozy chaos beneath him â soft woven blankets, the seashell pillows, Likan drooling slightly on his chest. âItâs nice,â he said quietly. âYou made this warm. Safe.â You smiled, brushing Kiriyaâs cheek. âThatâs what a home is supposed to be.â He didnât answer, but he didnât move either. His hand rested lightly on Likanâs back, rising and falling with the toddlerâs breath. âYouâre good at this,â you said softly, surprising yourself. âAt what?â
âBeing a father. Even if you donât remember how you got here⌠you belong here.â He turned his face toward you again. âYou really think so?â You nod, âI do.â The fire popped gently. You switched Kiriya to the other side, and Neteyamâs eyes flicked toward your chest again before quickly looking away. âYou know,â he said after a pause, âsome of those pictures we saw⌠you looked downright dangerous.â You laughed under your breath. âDangerous? You were looking at pictures again?â
âIn a good way. Like⌠you knew exactly what you were doing.â
âI did,â you teased. âYou liked that.â
âI do like that.â You glanced over. âDonât flirt with me while Iâm breastfeeding.â
âWhy not?â he said, voice a little lower. âYouâre still hot.â You laughed again, quieter this time, trying not to jostle the baby. âI canât tell if youâre joking.â
âNeither can I.â There was a pause. Then, softer: âBut I think I mean it.â And when Kiriya finally drifted off against your chest, her little lips still puckered, Neteyam reached out and adjusted the blanket around your shoulder, fingers brushing the skin just beneath your collarbone. âThank you for this,â he whispered. You met his eyes, voice almost too soft to hear. âYouâre welcome home.â The mauri was quiet, soft with the hush of the ocean beyond its walls and the occasional murmur of sleeping children shifting in their dreams. But Neteyam lay wide awake, still and silent, his arms at his sides, his head turned slightly toward you.
You were close, closer than you had been in months. Eylan lay between you both, curled into his fatherâs side, one hand resting over Neteyamâs chest. Likan sprawled in his usual starfish pattern across the bottom of the mat, and Kiriya had been swaddled and tucked close to your chest earlier. But now, it was the middle of the night. The stars outside had shifted overhead. And Kiriya stirred, giving a soft, sleepy whimper. You woke immediately â that motherâs instinct still razor sharp. You sat up slowly, rubbing your eyes, careful not to jostle Eylan. Kiriya let out a soft protest again, louder this time, and you pulled her into your arms, guiding her to nurse as naturally as you breathed. Neteyam didnât move. But he wasnât asleep. His voice came softly, almost hesitantly, like he was testing the darkness.
âIf someone⌠forgot their whole life,â he said, âand started over⌠are they still responsible for what they do when they donât remember who they were?â You blinked at the question, caught off guard. âYouâre awake?â Kiriya suckled quietly, your hand stroking her soft downy hair. âThatâs a strange thing to ask,â you said gently. âI know.â You could hear the tension in his voice â low and conflicted, almost uncertain. âWhy are you asking?â
âItâs justâŚâ he paused. âWhat if⌠they did something they wouldnât have done before? Something that⌠wasnât fair to the people who love them?â Your heart tightened. Your fingers stilled where they stroked the babyâs back. The air felt thicker now. In the dark, you couldnât see him. But you knew. You knew what this was. âNeteyam,â you said quietly, âdid you do something?â He didnât answer right away. You reached out, careful not to wake Eylan, and your fingers brushed across your sonâs curls before finding the edge of Neteyamâs arm â warm, steady, trembling slightly. âI didnât know who I was,â he said finally, barely a whisper. âBut that doesnât mean I didnât⌠feel. I still felt things. Wanting to be wanted. To feel like I mattered to someone.â
âAnd now?â He exhaled shakily. âNow I remember more every day. And I feel like Iâm⌠two different people trying to live in one skin. The man who forgot, and the man whoâs starting to come back.â Your hand stayed there, on his arm, fingers tightening just slightly. âAnd both of them are hurting.â He swallowed. You heard it. âI didnât mean to hurt you.â You whisper, âI know.â
âI think I already did,â he whispered. You were silent for a long moment, and Kiriya stirred again in your arms, unlatching briefly before shifting and settling once more. You brushed her cheek and whispered, âSheâs hungry again. She does that. Doesnât like to be alone.â
âI think I understand that.â You looked at where you knew he lay. âI donât need a perfect version of you, Neteyam. Just the one who tries.â He was quiet, but your fingers still felt his â brushing lightly over your knuckles now, just barely. âI donât want to be lost anymore,â he said. You nodded. âThen come back. Piece by piece. Iâll wait.â And there was something in his next breath â a sound halfway between a sigh and a sob, so soft it barely made it to you. You didnât say more.
You stayed there, in the dark, with the baby nestled against you, your fingers resting against the edge of his hand across Eylanâs little head. And somehow, even with all that had happened â the heartbreak, the confusion, the silence â it felt like you were finding your way again. In the dark, but still together.
The rain had slowed outside, just a gentle patter on the leaves now, but inside the mauri, it was still warm with your shared breath and the soft sounds of your sleeping children. Neteyam hadnât moved since your conversation started. Likan was curled up on his chest, Eylan pressed into his side, and Kiriya was snoozing in your arms. You let a beat pass. Then you whispered, not quite able to let it go, âIs that all you did with her?â He blinked slowly. ââŚYou meanââ
âYes, Neteyam,â you cut in, voice hushed but clearly not done. âBecause Iâve been sitting here, holding our daughter, who literally looks like a smaller, grumpier version of you, and wondering how far another woman got with my mate while I was leaking milk and chasing toddlers.â Neteyam groaned softly, covering his face with his free hand. âYou really want to do this now?â
âYes.â He peeked out between his fingers at you. ââŚYouâre serious?â You narrowed your eyes. âDead serious.â He sighed, careful not to jostle Likan. âShe⌠tried things.â You raised a brow. âShe kissed me. Obviously.â
âObviously,â you muttered, nose wrinkling. âAnd, uh⌠she touched me.â His ears twitched slightly in embarrassment. You waited, blinking slowly. âTouched you how, exactly?â He gave you a long look. You didnât blink. Neteyam cleared his throat. âWith her hand.â You blinked again. âAnd?â you pressed, biting back a smirk. He gave a half-hearted shrug, lips twitching. âShe tried to go down on me. Like⌠a few times.â You gave him a scandalized look, eyes adjusting to the dark. âShe was veryâforward,â he muttered quickly. âI never let her. But her hand⌠got there a couple times.â
You just stared at him and then shook your head. âCouple times, he says. Neteyam, a couple is two.â He looked at the ceiling like it held answers. âIt was more than two.â You let out a soft snort. âI should throw this baby blanket at you.â He gave you a sheepish grin. âPlease donât. Likan might wake up. And Iâm currently pinned under his drool.â You stared at him, lips twitching despite yourself. Then your voice turned teasing, but it held an edge. âSo? Was she good at it?â
He choked. âWhat?â You tilted your head. âIâm asking. Was she good with her hands?â Neteyam looked like he wanted Eywa to strike him down where he lay. âIâI mean. It was⌠fine.â
âFine?â He winced. âOkay, good. Whatever. It felt good. Iâm not made of stone.â You leaned closer, voice lower. âBetter than me?â He looked horrified. âWhy would you ask me that?â
âBecause Iâm your wife,â you said, barely containing your laughter, âand if another woman had your favorite parts in her hands, I want to know if she did it right.â He groaned again. âItâs like youâre trying to kill me.â You shrugged, totally unfazed. âWas she better?â
âNo,â he said without thinking. Then added, âLikeâI mean I donât fully remember everything with you, but I know how it felt with you. That connection. The trust. The way we⌠moved together. Thatâs not something you just replace.â You smiled a little, then asked slyly, âDid she smell good?â Neteyam paused. âWhat is this?â
âAnswer the question.â He rubbed a hand over his face. âShe smelled like seaweed and flower oil.â You wrinkled your nose. âI knew it. That woman bathes in crushed petals like sheâs trying to lure in unsuspecting men.â Neteyam chuckled softly. âYou were always so territorial.â You shrugged. âYes, but Iâm more protective. Thereâs a difference.â
âUh-huh,â he said, lips twitching. âWas she softer than me?â His eyes slid over to you, finally catching on to the playful, wicked glint in your gaze. âYouâre soft and strong. Best of both.â
âWas she prettier?â
âNo.â
âCurvier?â Neteyam smiled. âNo one fits against me like you do.â You paused, surprised by how much that made your heart skip. Then, in a quiet moment, you asked, âDid you want her?â
He went still. His gaze dropped to your daughter, curled on your chest. To your hand resting on the mat near his. And finally, to your face. ââŚNo,â he said. âI was confused. Lost. And she was there. But I didnât want her. Not like I want you.â The silence that followed was full of everything unspoken, all the weight of grief, memory, love, and longing. You exhaled. âOkay.â
âOkay?â he echoed softly. You nodded. âWeâll figure it out.â He looked at you a moment longer, then brushed a knuckle across Likanâs back. âYouâre incredible, you know that?â You smirked. âYeah, well. Your memory may be slow, but your taste is still perfect.â Neteyam laughed under his breath, and for the first time in ages, it felt like home.
The mornings felt different now. For the first time in what felt like seasons, Neteyam was back in the mauri where he belonged â where you and the children had waited for him without ever stopping. His things had been moved quietly during the early hours of his return, his arm brushing yours as he helped fold blankets, tuck them into corners, smooth over sleeping mats. The space had always been his, and yet now he treated it like a sacred gift he was trying to earn back every day.
He hadnât gone to Lina since you told him not to â since he agreed not to. He hadnât even looked in her direction when he passed the outer reefs. Every time guilt threatened to creep up his spine, he reminded himself that he was here because of you. Because you still loved him, still prayed for him, even when heâd forgotten everything.
He remembered more now â slowly, in pieces. The way you used to curl into his chest at night. The way Eylan would cling to his shoulders when he was younger, pressing his cheek into Neteyamâs neck. How Likan used to demand to ride on his shoulders, yelling âUp! Up!â with a chubby little hand tugging his braids. And how Kiriyaâs lips curled the tiniest bit when she nursed, like she was smiling up at you in her own way.
He apologized over and over. Quietly, loudly, sometimes with tears in his eyes, sometimes with flowers braided into your hair when he thought words werenât enough. He hadnât slept with Lina â but it didnât make what happened disappear. And he didnât expect your forgiveness quickly. He just wanted the chance to prove he was worthy of it. You let him. Slowly. On your terms.
He swept the floors of the mauri. Took over the task of bathing the boys in the lagoon when they were fighting so you didnât have to. Cooked badly â and burned things often â but he kept trying. Kiri joked once that he was trying to atone through labor, and Neteyam didnât even deny it.
One afternoon, a few days into his return, Loâak came by to help him fix a crooked support beam that held up the side of the roof. The boys were napping after an afternoon of chasing each other in the sun, Kiriya nestled against your chest while you rested in the shade nearby. âHold this steady,â Neteyam said, gripping the thick vine and pulling it taut while Loâak looped it around. Loâak grunted. âYou got heavier since the war, bro. Youâre not fun to lift anymore.â
âYou got scrawnier,â Neteyam shot back, smirking. Loâak snorted. âYou wish.â They worked in easy silence for a bit, sweat collecting at their temples, the weight of the sun warm but not oppressive. Then Neteyam asked casually â too casually â âSo⌠you and my mate. You kissed her?â Loâak froze like someone had poured cold water down his spine. âWhat?â Neteyam didnât look at him right away. He was focused on tying a knot. âShe told me. Said it happened the night before I woke up.â
âYouâsheâoh my Eywa.â Loâak dropped the cord. âBro, I didnât mean toâshe was crying, I wasâNeteyam I wasnât even trying toâIâm sorry.â Neteyam let the silence stretch. Then: âWas it⌠passionate?â
âBro!â You, overhearing from the shade, couldnât stop the snort that slipped from your nose. Loâak looked like he wanted to fling himself off the reef. âI mean I justââ Neteyamâs mouth twitched, trying to keep a straight face. âShould I be worried?â
Loâak waved his hands wildly. âThere was no tongue, okay?! It was likeâa sad, forehead-touchy kind of thing, and then we kissed but likeâyour wife kisses with emotion, okay?! I wasnât trying to seduce herââ Neteyam was laughing now. Fully, openly. Loâak narrowed his eyes. âYouâre the worst.â
âIâm serious,â Neteyam said between laughs. âWas it good?â Loâak turned to you. âAre you hearing this madness?â You were howling now, arms crossed as Kiriya snoozed peacefully, unfazed by her familyâs antics. âIâm just saying,â Neteyam added, wiping his face, âif my brother kissed my wife, I at least want to know how I rank.â Loâak pointed at him. âYou ranked. I promise. I almost got punched by guilt mid-kiss. Itâs you, bro. Itâs always been you.â
Neteyamâs expression softened at that. He nodded once, serious again. âI know. Itâs okay. I just⌠I needed to hear it.â Loâak tilted his head. âAre we⌠cool?â Neteyam clapped a hand on his shoulder. âYou raised my kids with her. Helped her when I was gone, kept them safe. Iâm not just cool with youâI owe you.â
Loâak smiled. âJust donât make me babysit all three at once again. I still have nightmares.â You grinned, watching the two brothers laugh again. The ache in your chest softened. This was what youâd missed. What had been missing. And slowly, piece by piece, the bonds were stitching back together.
The dreams were getting worse. Or⌠better, depending on perspective. But for Neteyam, waking up next to you every morning while you slept peacefullyâwith your curves tucked beneath soft cloth, your breath warm and even, and Kiriya cooing quietly against your chestâwas becoming increasingly difficult. Not because he didnât want to be there. But because he really wanted to be there.
The dreams started off soft, tender⌠sweet flashes of you and him tangled in the glowing forest under a curtain of bioluminescent vines, your skin glowing, your laugh echoing in his ears as you kissed his cheeks, his mouth, his neck. But then they escalated. Faster than he was prepared for.
Now they were⌠loud. In every sense. They were full-body, flushed-skin, back-arching, tweng-tangling flashes that left him panting awake in the dark, his hands fisted in the bedding, his chest heaving, and a very obvious situation in his lap that he had to hide quickly before Eylan or Likan stirred beside him. He thought cold water would help. He was wrong.
So, every morning, right as the first rays of dawn touched the edge of the reef, Neteyam would sneak off into the waves, slipping into the water with a hiss through his teeth, determined to let the icy ocean chase the heat from his blood. It never worked. And when he came back in, shivering, teeth chattering slightly, you always gave him the same look. This day was no different. You blinked awake slowly, brushing a hand over Kiriyaâs soft little back where she lay snuggled against your chest, her lips still puckered from nursing. Then you caught sight of him, dripping wet, shoulders hunched slightly, arms wrapped around himself as he tried to warm up. You blinked again. Then smirked. âAnother swim, mighty warrior?â He cleared his throat, doing his best to look casual. âJust clearing my head.â
âSure.â You sat up slightly, brushing Kiriyaâs curls from her cheek, her sleepy little eyes barely cracking open. âDid the ocean help, or just make your balls disappear?â Neteyam choked, whipping around. âSkxawng!â You were laughing before you could stop yourself, your shoulders shaking, one hand trying to cover your mouth. Neteyam was pink around the tips of his ears as he rubbed his arms. âItâs cold out there.â
âWell maybe,â you said, setting Kiriya gently down beside her brothers, who were still tangled in a sleepy pile, âyou should try not torturing yourself.â He huffed. âItâs not like I can control what I dream about.â You gave him a knowing look as you moved to him, placing a thick, woven cloth over his shoulders. He flinched at the warmth, grateful. âBut you can control what you do about it,â you teased. He looked at you warily. âWhat does that mean?â
âIt means,â you said, beginning to rub warmth into his arms through the cloth, âI see you, Neteyam. You wake up every morning tense and hard like a stone pillar under that tweng. Youâve been diving into the water like some cursed, guilty little boy. But youâre not little. Youâre a grown man. My mate.â
He looked anywhere but your eyes. You lowered your voice. âI know what your dreams are about.â He finally met your gaze, his voice low. âDo you?â You nodded slowly. âYou talk in your sleep sometimes.â He groaned, pulling the cloth over his face. âGreat.â
âDonât be embarrassed,â you said, laughing softly. âTheyâre⌠kinda flattering.â He peeked at you with a look of dry betrayal. âYouâre enjoying this?â
âJust a little.â He scowled, though it lacked heat. âItâs not fair. I remember just enough to want you, but not enough to feel like I deserve to act on it.â Your smile faded into something softer. You moved closer, fingertips brushing his arm. âYouâre my husband. The father of my children. You donât have to earn whatâs already yours. You just have to come home to it.â
He looked at you for a long time, jaw tight, eyes searching your face. âI dream of you,â he said. âThe way you used to kiss me. Touch me. Your voiceâsoundsâI didnât know I remembered⌠They wake me up shaking.â Your lips parted slightly, your own breath catching. âAnd then I look at you,â he added, âand I just feel⌠pulled. Like my body remembers everything my head forgot. Every time I brush against you by accident, it feels like lightning in my chest.â You swallowed thickly, stepping closer. He glanced toward the children. âBut I canât keep waking up like this, hard as a rock, running into the ocean like a foolâfreezing my balls off.â
You laughed again, unable to help it. âDo you want help next time, ma Neteyam?â His eyes darkened, lips quirking. âDonât start, yawne. Iâm barely holding on as it is.â You smiled at him with soft eyes, brushing his hair from his face. âThen maybe you should stop fighting so hard. Come back to me. All the way.â
He leaned in, almost without thinking, but then pulled back with a sigh. âI donât want to mess this up again,â he said. âSo Iâll wait until I know for sure Iâm ready. You deserve all of me.â You nodded. âAnd youâll get there. But maybe next time, skip the icy ocean.â He looked down at his lap, where the evidence of his dreams had finally subsided. âGood. Because my balls still havenât recovered.â You giggled, smacking his arm. âGo warm up, skxawng. Iâll make tea.â
As you turned, he reached out and caught your wrist gently. âHey.â You turned back. His gaze was full of everything he couldnât quite say yet. âI love you,â he said, voice quiet. Your heart skipped. You squeezed his hand. âI know.â I giggle, âI love you more.â And as the morning sun broke through the clouds, there was a quiet promise lingering in the space between your joined hands: He was coming home. Fully. One dream, one breath, one kiss at a time.
The night was still. Quiet but for the gentle whisper of waves against the reef, and the occasional coo or sigh from the children shifting in their sleep. Neteyam sat on the mat, legs crossed, the tablet glowing faintly in his hands. You had already told himâtwiceâto come to bed. You were curled up at the far end of the mat, Kiriya tucked in your arms, Likan curled against your side, and Eylanâs head resting gently near yours. But still, he stayed up. Still, he scrolled.
He couldnât stop. The images, the videos⌠they were you. Him. All the small things that shouldâve been ordinary felt sacred now. You walking through the forest, barefoot, laughing. You trying to cut fruit with a curved blade and muttering curses under your breath when it slipped. You with the boysâsmeared in mud, singing lullabies, dancing in the kitchen. Every second was a thread. And slowly, they were stitching his life back together.
Then he tapped a file. One he hadnât seen before, the screen went black for a moment, then it lit up. It was you. Dressed in Omatikayan wedding clothâdeep forest green and rich maroon threads, handmade jewelry wrapped delicately around your wrists and ankles. Beads adorned your hair. Your face was dewy with tears. You stood inside a new home, just barely furnished, still smelling of fresh cut wood and woven palms. You looked straight into the camera and sniffled, smiling so wide it cracked through your tears.
âWeâre mated.â You laughed, wiping your eyes. âI canât believe it. I mean⌠I can, because of course itâs him. But Iâm stillâIâm married to Neteyam. The love of my life.â You giggled. âHe went back to get the rest of our stuff. He wouldnât let me help. He said, âJust stay here, baby. Iâll bring home our whole world.ââ You glanced around, eyes full of emotion. âThis is it. Our home. He built this with his own hands for us. And somehow, I get to live here with him.â The camera shook slightly as you leaned in. Your eyes were shining. Honest. âHe loves me. He loves me so much. Even when Iâm angry. Even when I donât get things right. Even when I talk too much or sleep with my feet freezing cold. He never complains. He just⌠pulls me close. He tells me Iâm everything he ever wanted.â You breathed out slowly, clutching somethingâyour courting tokenâin your hand. âI never thought Iâd have this. I never thought Iâd get to be chosen. But he chose me. And Iâll spend, the rest of my life loving him the way he loves me. The way he made me feel like I deserve and the way I know he deserves.â The video ended quietly. Neteyamâs chest caved inward as he stared at the dark screen, frozen.
And thenâIt hit him. Everything. Like water crashing through a dam. The forest. The moment you first reached for his hand. The first time you slept curled up together under the stars. Your first kiss, his fingers trembling where they touched your jaw. His face pressed into your neck the night you gave birth to Eylan. You squeezing his hand, eyes locked on him as Likan came into the world. Your laughter. Your cries. The fights. The passion. The love. Every. Single. Second. He gaspedâchoked on airâand jerked forward as if the wind had been knocked out of him. His hands trembled violently. You stirred. He didnât even realize how loud heâd whispered your name. âMaâma yawneââ You blinked awake slowly, sleep-soft and groggy. âTeyam?â
But his hand was already on your cheek, his breath hitching, eyes wide and wet as he leaned over you. And that was when Kiriya stirredâyour movement jostling her. She let out a sharp cry, confused and still tired. Likan, pressed against you, whined and flailed sleepily. Eylan murmured something and turned over. You sat up quickly, trying to hush her, but Neteyam was shakingâsmilingâand crying all at once, one hand over his mouth, the tablet slipping from his lap. You turned to him in confusion. âNeteyamâwhatâ?â He was already pulling you close, chest heaving as he clung to you, half-laughing, half-sobbing. âI remember.â His voice broke. âI remember everything.â Your heart stopped. âWhatââ
âEverything.â He leaned his forehead against yours. âYou. Our life. The boys. Kiriya.â His hand hovered over her; chest wracked with emotion. â*You were right. Youâve always been right. I was yours. Iâve always been yours.â The emotion in your chest was a storm. You couldnât speak. You could barely breathe.
Then you heard feet, running. Kiri burst in, wide-eyed, Neytiri behind her. Jake wasnât far. Tuk, sleepy and bleary, trailed behind holding her bow. Loâak came in next, tense and worried. âWhat happened?! Is something wrong?â Kiriâs eyes landed on Neteyamâs faceâhis tear-streaked, smiling faceâand yours, where you trembled and wept against him. Neytiriâs breath caught. Jakeâs shoulders slumped in relief. You turned to them, cradling Kiriya as Neteyam wrapped an arm around all three of his children, pulling them in.
âHe remembers.â The room stilled. Kiriâs hands flew to her mouth. Neytiri was crying in seconds, turning into Jakeâs chest. Tuk ran forward, hugging Neteyamâs leg. âYouâre back?â He laughed wetly. âIâm back, Tuk.â Loâak stared, stunned, then shook his head in disbelief. âYouâre such a skxawng,â he muttered, voice cracking. âIâm gonna punch you so hard later.â Neteyam only nodded, tears slipping free as he held you tighter. âGo ahead,â he whispered. âI probably deserve it.â You were sobbing now, holding onto him as he kissed your temple again and again, touching your face, your hands, your belly, like he had to feel every part of you to make sure you were real. He remembered. Everything. And from this moment on, he would never forget again.
Once the noise settled and the tears dried, the Sully family gave their son one last round of bone-crushing hugs, quiet laughter, and forehead kisses before Neytiri gently ushered everyone back to their mauri, smiling through her tears.
âIâll see you in the morning, maâitan,â Neytiri whispered as she smoothed his hair like she had when he was a boy. âMy son has returned.â Jake gripped his shoulder with pride, his eyes red. âWeâll talk tomorrow. Youâll explain everything⌠after you sleep.â Kiri gave him a long, tight hug, and even Loâak ruffled his hair with a sigh that sounded suspiciously like relief. âYouâre lucky I love you, bro,â he muttered. âYouâre lucky I remember you,â Neteyam replied with a grin.
After the family trickled out, leaving only the soft glow of a candle and the quiet hum of night, you found yourself staring at the mat, where the three kids had already started dozing again in the aftermath of their interrupted slumber.
Likan had kicked off his blanket and sprawled belly-first across a woven pillow like a tiny lizard. Eylan had found his way to the spot Neteyam sat in earlier and curled up there like it was still warm, his little face slack with sleep. Kiriya, sweet and full after nursing, lay content against your shoulder, her soft breaths ghosting across your collarbone. âStars,â you whispered, looking at the chaos. âThey sleep like drunk adults.â
Neteyam let out a small, husky laugh and dropped into the mat beside you, his shoulders finally relaxed, his posture slouched in a way you hadnât seen in monthsâlike the weight of confusion had fallen off his chest. âYou always said thatâ he said with a grin, brushing Likanâs stray braid out of his face. âI never understood it until now. He sleeps like he fought a tree.â
âHe did fight a tree yesterday,â you said, smirking. âLost, too.â Neteyam chuckled, glancing at you as you gently laid Kiriya down between the pillows and tucked her beside her brothers. You both stared down at them in silence.
âI missed this,â he said softly. You turned to him, laying on your side, your hand propping your head up. âYou didnât know you were missing it.â He groaned and replied âI know. Thatâs the part that kills me.â You reached across the mat and touched his wrist. âYou came back to us. Thatâs all that matters.â His eyes softened. âYou kept this going. All of it. The home. The kids. Me.â
âI cried. A lot,â you admitted. âAnd yelled. And didnât shower nearly enough.â Neteyam grinned. âYou smell fine. You always smell like⌠berries and sunlight and baby.â You giggle softly. âThatâs either really sweet or mildly offensive.â
âDepends on the baby,â he joked. Then, after a beat, his smile faded into something gentler. âI remember what you went through. At least, parts of it. When I was shot. When you saw me unconscious. The birth of Kiriya.â You blinked. âYou remember that?â
He nodded. âNot the pain. But I remember her crying. And Loâakâs voice. And yours.â His gaze dropped to your belly. âYou were in so much pain, and I wasnât there. And then you were holding her and sobbing because I didnât wake up.â Tears welled in your eyes. âYou remember that?â He reached over and cupped your cheek. âI do now. It all came back. I felt like Iâd forgotten how to breathe without you. But the second I saw that video of youâour wedding, you talking to the cameraâit was like my whole soul snapped into place.â You sniffled, trying not to cry again. âI didnât know if youâd ever see that.â
âIâm glad I did. You were so beautiful in that video.â His grin returned, sly this time. âI remember how long it took me to take those wraps off.â You flushed. âDonât start, Neteyam. The kids areââ He leaned closer, teasing. âAll asleep. Deep, drooling sleep. We could draw on their faces and they wouldnât notice.â You swatted his shoulder, laughing into your hand. âYouâre horrible.â
âIâm yours,â he whispered, brushing your fingers aside to kiss your knuckles. You stared at him, your heart full to the brim. âYouâre sure?â
âIâve never been more sure of anything in my life.â He lay down facing you, so close now your foreheads touched. âI remember every scar, every fight, every kiss, every moment I told you I loved youâand everyone I didnât say it but showed it anyway. I remember you, yawne. All of you.â You swallowed around the lump in your throat, your fingers finding his, tangled loosely between your bodies. âYouâre gonna have to prove it, you know.â He smirked. âOh, I plan to.â Kiriya stirred in her sleep with a little grunt and both of you froze, peeking over her bundled shape. âSheâs got your nose,â Neteyam whispered. You smiled. âAnd your attitude. She screams when her milk isnât warm enough like I can do anything about it.â He laughed softly âSheâs perfect.â
âSheâs ours.â Neteyam leaned forward, gently pressing a kiss to your brow, your temple, then your lips. It was soft. Familiar. Like coming home. When you pulled apart, he yawnedâfinallyâand tucked himself closer to you, curling behind Kiriya as you remained on your side facing him. âThis side better than mine,â he mumbled. âBecause itâs mine,â you teased. âIâm never leaving it again.â And you believed him. As the rain danced on the thatched roof above and your family slept safely around you, you let your eyes drift closed. Neteyam was home.
Lina paced the length of her mauri, the woven floor creaking softly beneath her bare feet. The ocean breeze no longer felt soothingâit was biting. Mocking. Her hands trembled as she set down the shell bowl, she had no intention of eating from. The scent of sea fruit made her stomach turn. Three weeks. Thatâs how long it had been since sheâd last seen Neteyam.
No word. No visit. No trace of the man who once sat beside her every evening, tangled in her nets, tangled in her. Gone, like fog when the sun rises. And worseâworseâhe had moved back into the home he once shared with you. That forest-bred thing he couldnât remember loving. That mate who stood in her way again. She had heard it secondhand. Whispers from the market, low murmurs from children, the ripple of gossip as effortless as breath. âDid you hear? Neteyam moved back in with his family.â
âHe carries the little one again, helps the boys bathe by the shore.â
âThey say he remembers.â
That last part hit like a blade. He remembered. Sheâd dropped her basket when she heard, too stunned to care that her gathered sea herbs had spilled across the coral path. Her chest had gone tight, her vision narrowed. She hadnât cried. No. She didnât cry. But the burn in her throat was undeniable. He remembered. And he didnât even say goodbye. He hadnât needed to. Youâd won. Again.
All her work, all her effortâeverything she gave him: her attention, her patience, her body, her timeâit had been for nothing. For a glimpse. A taste. And then gone. But Lina wasnât the kind of woman to lose quietly. She sat that night beside her hearth, face lit by dim firelight, fingers curled tightly around a carving knife. She didnât think about stabbing anything. Not really. Just the weight of it. The way the handle fit in her hand. She needed control. She needed something. Then the plan began to spin in her mind, fine and sharp as woven fishing line. If Neteyam remembered everythingâeverythingâthen surely, he also remembered pain. Jealousy. Doubt. The flaws. The insecurities. And maybe⌠just maybe, if she sowed the right seed, it would take root.
She didnât know about your moment with Loâakâhow could she? But that didnât stop her from making one up. She found the right voice, trembling, sweet, just innocent enough. She whispered it first to a pair of girls near the shore. âThey say she was never loyal,â she sighed. âEven when Neteyam was still unconscious. I heard Loâak was always around. Maybe too much.â She knew how to pick the right moments. Who to speak near, she wasnât foolish enough to name names or say it too directly. But whispers had power in a clan this tightly knit. âDid you see how Loâak always carries the boys around? Itâs like theyâre his.â
âI thought she moved on. I heard she and Neteyam werenât⌠together when the baby came.â
âShe and Loâak used to sneak off into the woods before dinner, remember?â
Lies. Crafted with care. Not wild ones, but the kind that sounded like they could be true. And they spread. Lina watched from the rocks, arms crossed, as you passed with Kiriya in your sling and Neteyam at your side, your boys trailing behind him, clinging to their fatherâs fingers. You were laughing. He was smilingâgenuinely smiling. Her stomach twisted. It wasnât fair.
She had earned him. Sheâd been there when no one else had. When he didnât know his name, she had whispered it against his skin. When he forgot who he was, she told him he was hers. But that version of himâblank, open, lostâwas slipping further away with each passing day. So, her smile turned thin and patient, her hands laced sweetly in her lap, but her eyes stayed sharp. Scheming. She wasnât done. Not yet.
It started with whispers â again. You had exactly, one week of peace together. But this time, the whispers were about you. At first, Neteyam tried to ignore them. He wanted to. He wanted to stay focused on the life he was building back â the family dinners, the quiet moments with Kiriya curled into his chest, the way Eylan giggled when he tossed him into the shallows, Likanâs sticky kisses, your soft sleepy smile before dawn. That was his life. But the voices got louder.
âShe was with Loâak even before the baby came, I heard.â
âI saw them, always together, before Neteyam woke up. Touching.â
âMaybe the little one isnât even his. Look at her eyes.â
âYou think thatâs why Loâak always helps with the kids? Guilt?â
One thing Neteyam had learned since regaining his memories: gossip in the clan was like a storm on the sea. Small at first, and then suddenly everywhere, churning, devouring, crashing over every surface. And it hurt. It hurt more than anything had in the last few months â because he had forgiven you. You had told him everything. That one kiss. That one moment of weakness. And he knew you regretted it. You had been broken. Alone. You had never stopped loving him. He knew that. But now, it wouldnât leave his mind, the noise of it. Over and over. What if there was more? What if everyone else knew something he didnât? He tried to push it down. Until the final blow came. âLoâak said something once⌠he said he loved her. Thatâs what I heard.â Neteyam lost it.
The entire family was gathered, talking near the cluster of Sully-linked mauri when it exploded. You were inside yours with the kids, nursing Kiriya down for her nap, and Neteyam was supposed to be helping Jake with spear repairs â but his voice rang out loud enough to stop everything. âYou swore it was only one kiss!â Neteyamâs voice cracked like thunder, loud and hurt and furious. âOne mistake! And now Iâm hearing that my daughter might not even be mine?! That you and my wifeââ Jake stepped in immediately, pushing a hand against Neteyamâs chest. âHey! Hey! Watch yourselfââ Loâakâs face twisted in confusion and disbelief. âBroâwhat the fuck are you talking about?â
âYou knew she was mine!â Neteyam shouted at him, ignoring everyone else, fury pouring out of every muscle. âYou stood by her while I was dying, and now Iâm finding out you touched her? Loved her? Are you proud of that?â Loâak stumbled back, face blanching. âNo. WhatâNeteyam, I neverâ! It wasnât like that! You know that!â Neytiriâs voice sliced through the air. âEnough.â But it was too late. You stepped out of the mauri then â Kiriya in your sling, wide-eyed, blinking against the noise. You looked⌠shattered. Neteyam saw you. The pain on your face. The hurt. The sheer shock at what he was saying. And still â still â he couldnât stop himself. âDid you sleep with him?â he asked, low now. âTell me right now, if you everââ Your eyes welled up. âHow dare you?â Everyone froze. You backed away slowly, turning without another word, disappearing down the sand path.
And then, a day passed. Two. You barely left the mauri, save for fetching food for the kids, helping them bathe and nap. You didnât want to see anyone. You didnât want to see him. Which is exactly when she came. Lina, you didnât realize it was her before, honestly you didnât even know what she looked like, but then she started talking. Soft-voiced. Sweet-smiled. Innocent eyes. âOh,â she said gently, âI just⌠I saw you out, and I wanted to say Iâm so sorry for what everyoneâs saying.â You didnât respond. She stepped closer. âIt must be hard, all the lies. But if anyoneâs lying, itâs not you.â You blinked, confused. She leaned in, whispering. âNeteyam lied to me too. Said he wasnât with you anymore. I wouldnât have ever let it happen otherwise. But⌠he got me pregnant. So⌠I guess youâre not the only one heâs been lying to.â Silence. Your vision blacked out. You shoved Kiriyaâs fruit basket into Linaâs chest and bolted.
The entire family saw it. The storm that broke next. You stormed into the Sully cluster of mauri, hair wild, eyes blazing, your body shaking with rage, and before Neteyam could say a wordâyour fist collided with his jaw. âMotherfucker.â He stumbled back, hand to his mouth. âWhaâ?!â
âYou accused me of things I never did! Sleeping with your brother?! And nowâNOW I find out you got the girl pregnant?! After everything?!â
âWhat?! Wait, what the fuck are you talking about?!â You shoved him again, sobbing, your arms flailing, âI loved you. I forgave you! I took you back, I let you in our home! And the whole timeââ
âShe said I whatâŚ?â Neteyam asked again. Loâak repeated it, slowly, disbelief still etched into his features. âShe told your wife⌠that you got her pregnant, bro.â
âSheââ Neteyam shook his head, blinking fast like he could erase the whole moment. âNo. No. I never⌠Eywa. I never even slept with her.â You scoffed bitterly, a sharp sound that cut deeper than your fist had. âWell, she says you did.â
âI didnât!â Neteyam barked, stepping forward, eyes pleading. âWe⌠we kissed. She touched me, I told you that. But I neverâ I never laid with her.â You held up your hand, cutting him off like a blade. âDonât. I swear to Eywa, donât come any closer.â He stopped dead in his tracks. Jake stepped forward. âWe need to get to the bottom of this. Now.â
Thatâs when Kiri ran up, breathless. âI heard it,â she gasped. âThe other girls were talking. Itâs Lina. She started the rumors. Sheâs the one who said the baby might not be Neteyamâs. Sheâs been lying this whole time. I knew it. I knew something was offââ The entire family turned quiet. Everything made sense. The rumors. The whispers. The timing. Neytiriâs face went pale with rage. Jakeâs jaw was clenched like stone. And youâbroken, shaking, furiousâyou stepped back, whispering only: âI hope sheâs worth it.â Neteyam didnât say a word.
Because for once⌠he had none. The silence after your final words was thick and suffocating. Your voice still rang in everyoneâs ears. Kiri stood stiffly off to the side, face pale and lips pressed tight, trying to catch her breath after rushing from the far reef. Neytiri stood close to her, a trembling hand on Kiriâs shoulder. Loâak had his hand on your back, trying to steady you as you held Kiriya close now, her tiny fists gripping your braid, confused by all the shouting. Likan and Eylan stood by Jakeâs side, wide-eyed and silent, watching everything with the sense that something very, very big had just happened.
Neteyamâs lip was bleeding. A trickle ran down the side of his mouth, where your fist had landed hard. He didnât wipe it. He didnât move at all. Just stood there, heart pounding out of rhythm, staring at you like he couldnât breathe. Jake crossed his arms, staring hard at Neteyam. âThen you need to find out the truth.â
âWhat?â Neteyamâs eyes darted from his father to you, shaking his head. âI told you. Itâs not true.â
âYou think I care what you say right now?â you hissed, voice low and deadly. Kiri took Kiriya from your arms gently, but your hands didnât fall limp â they curled into fists again. âI stood in front of your family, of my family, and defended you when you asked for space. When you forgot me. When you kissed her. When she touched you. I let it go because I loved you enough to let you find your way back. And now this?â Neteyam opened his mouth, but you didnât let him speak.
âYou accused me of being unfaithful,â you said through your teeth. âOf letting your brother touch me. Of lying about our children. You believed the rumors without asking me first, and now you expect me to stand by and let you see her again? After she says you got her pregnant?â
You took one step closer, the fire from your soul blazing in your eyes. âI donât care what you find out. I donât care what she says. I donât want you anywhere near that woman again. You walk into her mauri, Neteyam, and you stay there. You hear me?â He flinched at your words like they were lashes. Neytiri finally spoke, her voice cold, quiet. âShe manipulated you. Lied. Twisted her way into this familyâs peace. If you donât find the truth, she will never stop.â
âAnd if sheâs not pregnant?â Loâak asked warily. âIf itâs just another lie?â Jake added grimly, âTonowari and Ronal will deal with it.â Neteyam looked torn apart. His face was pale, expression twisted with a storm of pain. âI never wanted this.â
âBut you made choices,â you said softly now, quieter. It was worse than yelling. âAnd now you live with them.â
âIâm sorry.â You scoffed. âYou believed everything she said.â
âI didnât! Not all of it, not really,â he argued, eyes desperate now. âBut Iâ I wasnât thinking. I was a mess. And sheâ she took advantage of thatââ Loâak cut in, jaw tight. âYeah, we know. But the damage is done. The clanâs talking like itâs already true.â
âI donât care what the clan says!â you snarled. âI care about my children hearing lies that their father has another family!â Jake raised his hands, trying to calm the growing storm. âEnough. Both of you. We need to figure this out. Without sending Neteyam back there.â
Neteyam looked over at Jake now, lost. âHow do we find out? If she wonât talk to anyone else, and I canâtâwonâtâgo near her?â
Kiri stepped forward slowly. âI might have a way.â Everyone turned to her. Kiriâs eyes were steady, serious now. âShe talks to someone every day. A younger girl named Aluke. She was the first to start repeating the rumors about everything â about the baby not being yours. She mightâve overheard something else. Sheâs not very good at keeping her mouth shut.â You narrowed your eyes. âYou think you can get her to talk?â Kiri tilted her head. âIf sheâs anything like she was as a child, yes. If not, Iâll figure out another way.â Loâak nodded. âIf sheâs saying too much, sheâll keep talking. Maybe she knows Linaâs real intentions. Maybe she even knows itâs a lie.â
âIâll go with Kiri,â Neytiri said, jaw clenched. âThat girl said she saw the kiss between you two.â Loâak grimaced. âThat lie ends today, too,â Neytiri hissed. Jake nodded. âGood, go.â You didnât speak again â just nodded, sharp and stiff, and turned back toward the mauri with your children. Neteyam reached out instinctively â not to stop you, but to be near you. âMa yawneââ You turned your face just enough to look at him over your shoulder. There was no softness in your eyes. âI meant it,â you said again, low and quiet. âIf you go near her, weâre done.â He watched as you disappeared inside with Kiriya on your hip, Likan trailing behind you sleepily, Eylan still gripping your hand tightly.
The night settled in around them like a heavy blanket, no stars visible behind the clouds. And all Neteyam could think, again and again, was: âwhat if it is⌠and Iâve destroyed everything anyway?â
The rain had started up again just before nightfall â soft and drizzling, tapping against the woven leaves of your mauri like a lullaby meant for someone else. Not for you. Not for the mess your life had become. You sat curled up against the far wall, knees pulled tight to your chest, your arms wrapped around them as Kiriya nursed at your breast, her soft suckling the only real sound in the room. Likan and Eylan were asleep on the furs, their small bodies curled up together near the low-burning fire pit, unaware of the storm â outside or inside.
Your face was damp, and not just from the rain that had kissed your skin earlier. Youâd cried so hard your ribs ached. Your stomach burned. Your soul had frayed. You didnât look up when you heard the flap of the doorway shift. Neteyam stepped in quietly, his shoulders hunched, eyes rimmed red and jaw tight. He was breathing like heâd run here â or maybe like he was trying not to scream. He saw you and stopped mid-step. You didnât say anything. Couldnât. âCan I talk to you?â he asked, softly. Like you were something fragile. Like the wrong word would break you for good.
You didnât answer. Just stared down at Kiriya, who had stopped feeding and now blinked up at you sleepily, pawing at your chest. Neteyam took it as a maybe and came closer, crouching slowly beside you, careful not to disturb the boys. âI know youâre hurting,â he whispered. âAnd I deserve it. I do. I justâ I need you to know something. Really know it.â
You finally looked at him. Your face was blotchy, lips trembling, eyes bloodshot. His heart cracked wide open. âI didnât sleep with her,â he said, quickly, his voice raw. âNo matter what she says, or what anyone says⌠I swear it on Eywa. On my soul. I didnât. I never did.â You stared at him for a moment, like you werenât sure if your heart could risk believing him again.
âShe tried,â he said. âA lot. But every time⌠something pulled me back. It didnât feel right. It never did. Even when I didnât remember everything, there was something wrong about it. And I promise, I promise baby I told you everything. Everything that happened.â Your voice cracked when it came. âYou touched her.â
âYes,â he said honestly. âI did. And she touched me. Iâm not going to lie to you. But it didnât go further than that. I never let it. I never wanted to go all the way, even when I was confused. I didnât let her stay with me. I didnât let her into our home. I never crossed that line.â You choked. âThen howâhow could you still accuse me?â
âI was scared,â he admitted, his voice nearly breaking. âI heard what people were saying and I thought⌠I thought maybe I deserved it. Maybe it was true and Iâ I couldnât breathe. I lashed out. And I know it was wrong. Iâm so sorry.â He dropped his head, resting his forehead on your knees. âI was stupid. I let myself get pulled into something I knew deep down wasnât real. Not like this. Not like us. And now youâre hurting. And I did that. I did that.â You finally spoke again, whisper soft. âShe said sheâs pregnant.â
âI donât care,â he said quickly. âIf she is, itâs not mine. It canât be. Sheâs lying. She has to be. And if sheâs not⌠she was with someone else.â You stared at him, your hand resting on Kiriyaâs back. âWhy would she say it, then?â
âBecause she knew I was slipping away,â he said. âI stopped going. I stopped touching her. I came home. She saw. She knew I remembered. Thatâs why she did this. To punish me. To keep you from forgiving me.â Your bottom lip quivered. âYou donât deserve forgiveness.â
âI know. But Iâll spend the rest of my life earning it if youâll let me.â A silence passed. The sound of Kiriyaâs breath. The fire crackling. A gust of wind outside. You wiped your cheek with the back of your hand. âI donât believe sheâs carrying your child.â Neteyamâs eyes met yours, startled.
âI donât believe her,â you repeated. âBecause I know you. Even with your memory gone, I knew who you were. You wouldnât do that. You wouldnât give her that. You could make mistakes, sure. But that? No.â His throat bobbed. âI swear I didnât.â
âI believe you.â Tears welled in his eyes, falling freely now. âThank you.â
âIâm still angry,â you added quickly. âIâm so angry. Iâm not ready to just⌠be okay. But I needed to hear it from you. That it wasnât true.â He nodded, eyes shining. âIâll take whatever you can give me.â
âI canât give much,â you whispered. âIâll still be here.â You exhaled slowly, eyes falling to the sleeping boys, then to Kiriya now curled against your shoulder. âI need you to be the father they deserve. Not the man that woman wanted you to be.â
âI will be,â he whispered. âI swear, yawne. No more lies. No more her.â Your lip trembled again. âYouâre not allowed to leave us again.â
âI wonât.â He reached out, gently covering your hand with his.
The fire had burned low. The boys still slept, warm and safe beneath the woven furs. Kiriya dozed in your arms again, her soft little face pressed against your bare chest, one tiny hand curled at your throat. You rocked her absently, though your eyes stayed locked on the flames.
Neteyam hadnât moved far. He knelt just beside you still, silent, watching the way you held your daughter. The weight of everything hung between you â grief, pain, betrayal, but also something else. The flicker of something alive. Something trying to bloom back to life in the ash of everything youâd survived.
When Kiriya let out a soft sigh, eyes fluttering fully closed, you shifted and began to lower her gently to the mat, tucking her into the blankets beside her brothers. You stroked her cheek once and then let yourself sit back â your hands trembling from the storm you hadnât yet shaken loose. Then⌠Neteyam reached for you. Slow. Gentle.
His hands came to your waist first, then slipped around your back, tugging you into him. You let it happen, though your arms stayed limp at your sides, your face burying into his shoulder automatically as your body began to tremble again. Not loud, not dramatic. Just deep, silent sobs. The kind that come when the worst has already passed, and all thatâs left is the exhaustion of surviving it. He rocked you gently. âMa yawne,â he whispered, over and over. âOeyä yawne. Iâm so sorry. Iâm here. Iâm here.â
His hands rubbed up and down your spine, anchoring you against him, his breath warm at your temple. You clung to him then, arms looping tightly around his chest, pulling yourself into his warmth as if you could melt into him and never have to leave. âForgive me,â he whispered, voice trembling. âPlease. Iâll say it every day. Iâll say it in my sleep. Iâll never stop saying it. But you have to know â I never stopped loving you. Even when I didnât know who I was⌠something in me always knew you.â
You pulled back just enough to look at him. His face was wet with tears, his eyes searching yours like he was still begging to be allowed this moment. And you nodded. âThen show me,â you whispered. âShow me, ma Neteyam.â He blinked. âAre you sure?â You nodded again, slow and full of meaning. âI want to feel you again. All of you.â He inhaled sharply, heart pounding, and then â reverently, slowly â he reached for your kuru. The moment he touched it, your chest fluttered, and your hands instinctively rose to the braid at the base of his skull. Together⌠you connected. Tsahaylu. And in an instant â the world shifted.
You gasped softly as everything came crashing in. The pain heâd been holding onto. The regret. The confusion. The shame. And thenâunderneath it, rising like the tideâthe love. So much love. You felt it â how heâd carried your voice in his soul even when he didnât know it was yours. How home had always been the sound of your laugh. How the dreams haunted him because you were in every one of them â your smile, your body, your touch. How much he missed being yours. Being Neteyam â your Neteyam. And you let him feel everything too.
The moment your belly swelled with Kiriya, and you lay awake at night just praying heâd live to see her. The quiet strength you held for your boys every day while breaking inside. The ache of being forgotten. The pain of being blamed. The unbearable longing for his arms, his voice, his eyes full of love. How you still wore his courting token in your hair every day. How even after everything â you still loved him. Still chose him. A choked breath left his throat, and he crushed you into his chest again, one hand cradling your head, the other spreading across your back.
âI canât believe I forgot I had this,â he whispered hoarsely. âEverything. Every moment. Every promise I made. I meant them all.â
âI know,â you whispered back, your breath catching as more tears fell, softer this time. Cleansing. âI know, ma tĂŹyawn. So did I.â He kissed your hair, your cheek, your temple, tenderly, over and over like he couldnât stop. His hands shook against your skin. âI donât deserve your forgiveness,â he murmured.
âYou already have it,â you said quietly. âYou always did. You were sick, Neteyam. Lost. But I knew youâd find your way.â
âAnd you waited,â he whispered. âEven when I was breaking your heart.â
âI prayed for you every night,â you said. âI loved you even when it hurt.â He pulled back and touched your cheek with such reverence it made your eyes sting all over again. âI donât know how I ever looked at another woman when you were right here.â You let out a broken laugh, and he laughed too, just a little, brushing his nose against yours. âYouâre such an idiot,â you whispered, watery and smiling. âBiggest skxawng in the clan,â he agreed softly.
You both stayed there for a long time â connected, bonded, whole â until the fire burned down to embers and the soft rise and fall of your childrenâs breathing filled the quiet night. For the first time in moons, you werenât broken anymore. You were together You looked up at him, your fingers still trembling in his. Your tears had dried, but their weight clung to your chest. The soft glow of the lantern in the corner of the mauri cast golden light over Neteyamâs face, over the worry in his brow, the love in his eyes.
You had missed him. Missed the warmth of him. The way his arms felt like protection. The way his presence calmed the storm in your chest like nothing else ever could. His hand rose to brush your cheek, thumb grazing softly over the edge of your jaw. âYouâre still the most beautiful thing Iâve ever seen,â he whispered, his voice low, reverent, full of ache. Your breath caught. âYou donât have to say that just because you remember now.â
âIâm not,â he murmured. âIâm saying it because I feel it. Because Iâve always felt it.â Then he kissed you. Slowly, gentlyâlike a prayer, like an apology, like a promise. His lips moved with care, like he was relearning the shape of you, the rhythm of your breath. You shifted carefully until you were straddling his lap, your hands slid up his arms, his shoulders, anchoring yourself to him as his fingers trailed down your sides, not rushed or demandingâbut familiar.
He paused, eyes locking with yours. âCan IâŚ?â he asked, voice quiet, but full of need. Full of reverence. You nodded, breathless, pulling him closer. He leaned in again, lips brushing your temple, your cheek, the corner of your mouth. âI want to take every doubt out of your body,â he whispered. âEvery lie she told, every word I ever said that made you feel less.â
Slowly, tenderly, he slid away the fabric of your chest wrap, revealing skin he hadnât touched in what felt like years. He kissed every place he uncoveredâyour collarbone, the hollow of your throat, your shoulder. His hands were careful, steady, full of quiet devotion.
âI missed you,â he said against your skin. âThe way you laugh. The way you look when you hold our children. The way your eyes soften when youâre teasing me. I remember all of it now.â You breathed in shakily, fingers in his hair. âThen show me.â And he did. Every kiss was a promise. Every whisper a vow. No rush. No demands. Just the slow, sacred return to something only the two of you had ever shared. To something no oneânot even memory loss, not even betrayalâcould truly erase. When he finally held you in his arms, skin to skin, soul to soul, the weight youâd been carrying fell away. You werenât just forgiving each other. You were finding your way back home.
His hands moved with a reverence that made your breath catch, as if every part of you deserved to be memorized all over again. And maybe you didâmaybe he did, too. His lips traveled slowly, unhurried, pressing to every dip and curve like he was rediscovering sacred ground. Neteyam was about to lay you down onto the mat but then the Likan shifted, and you both paused looking over at him. Instead, you silently pointed to the fur rug in front of the fireplace, and he lifted you effortlessly, laying you down in front of the warmth.
When he kissed down your body, over your chest, the soft skin of your stomach, and lower, you gasped, a quiet sound that broke somewhere between relief and longing. Your fingers curled against the blankets beneath you, your eyes fluttering shut. It wasnât just the sensation of his mouth or the trail of heat he left in his wake, it was what it meant. It was him choosing youânot out of duty, not because memory demanded it, but because his heart knew it. Because he remembered. Because he wanted to.
You felt it in the way his lips lingered. In the way his hands steadied your hips like you were something precious. In the way he paused, looking up at you with dark, reverent eyes before continuing, like asking for permission even now. Your heart thudded in your chest, overwhelming and fragile. You whispered his name. Not in desperationâbut in awe. He smiled. Softly. Like he knew what this meant. It wasnât frantic or rushed. It wasnât about need. It was about presence. You had him again. All of him. The weight of his body, the brush of his breath, the worship in his touch. And for the first time in so long, you werenât surviving. You were living. You were loved.
Neteyamâs lips brushed your collarbone, slow and warm, and you gasped softly half-laughter, half-need. âYouâre laughing?â he murmured against your skin, lips curving into a smile. You giggled breathlessly, your fingers brushing through his braids. âIt tickles,â you whispered, voice catching. âYouâre not usually this slow.â He chuckled, dragging his lips to your neck. âIâve been gone a while,â he said lowly, âI think Iâm allowed to savor my wife.â
You bit your lip. âYouâre lucky I missed you.â He lifted his head just long enough to meet your eyes. âMissed me? Or missed this?â His hand slid along your thigh, deliberate but gentle. You grinned. âDonât act like you donât know.â
âI want to hear you say it,â he teased, voice dipping as he nipped at your shoulder. âFine,â you breathed, a flush blooming over your cheeks. âI missed your mouth⌠and your hands⌠and the way youââ You broke off with a gasp as he found a spot that made you squirm. âThere?â he said with a smirk, nosing into your neck. You shoved at his chest, laughing. âYouâre so smug.â
âOnly when Iâve earned it.â You arched slightly, brushing your lips against his ear. âYou havenât yet.â His growl was soft but promising. âChallenge accepted.â You both laughed, your bodies close, breaths mingling. Then he stilled for a moment, his forehead resting against yours. âYouâre still the most beautiful thing Iâve ever seen,â he said, voice barely a whisper. âI thought Iâd never remember what you felt like. But now⌠Iâll never forget again.â Your eyes stung, heart pounding. âThen donât ever leave me again, mighty warrior.â He leaned in, brushing your lips with his. âNever,â he promised.
Your breath hitched as his mouth wandered lower, slow and reverent, and your hand found its way to his hair. âYou always do this,â you murmured, voice trembling with a smile. âDo what?â His voice was low, warm against your skin. âTake your time⌠like youâre unwrapping a gift.â He chuckled. âYou are a gift. Iâve been starving, yawntu. Let me taste what I nearly lost.â His lips kissed down and around both your breast before kissing your nipple softly, his lips dragged against the harden nub You blushed hard at his words, shivering under his touch. âYouâre saying things that make my knees weak,â you whispered.
âGood,â he said, tongue darting out to give you a tantalizing, slow flick. âBecause I remember now. I remember exactly how to make you fall apart.â You gasped, laughing lightly, trying to tug him back up to kiss you, but he resisted, trailing his fingers up your sides instead. âNo, no,â he teased, grinning against your skin. âYou said I hadnât earned it yet.â You whined. âNeteyamâŚâ
âSay it again.â His tone was softer now, tender. âSay my name like that.â He moved his head down after biting your nipple and tugging softly making a little mess in his mouth. âNeteyam.â Your voice cracked on it, raw and breathless. He kissed down the curve of your ribs, slow and steady. âThere it is.â A pause. âYou always said it like that. Like it was sacred.â
âIt is,â you whispered, cupping his face and drawing him up to you. âYou are.â He kissed you then â slow, searching, aching â and as he hovered above you, his forehead pressed to yours, your legs tangled beneath the covers, you felt the shift. âDo you remember this part too?â you asked shyly, teasing. He laughed softly. âI remember everything to know you used to beg.â You let out a scandalized gasp. âI did not.â
âYou did,â he said with a smug smile. âEspecially when Iâd tease these cute nipples with my tongue and my fingersâŚ.and when I sucked on your pretty clit and stuck my tongue in this tight little hole.â He leaned down and whispered something in your ear that made you swat at his arm, breathless and flushed. His fingers ran down your body, all the way dow between your bare thighs to rub small light circles on your clit, making you whimper âFuckâŚ!â you said, burying your face in his neck.
âYou love it,â he whispered against your shoulder. âI love you,â you corrected, breath heavy on his neck as you kissed under his ear He froze, just for a moment but didnât stop his movements. Then his voice broke as he said, âSay it again.â you repeated, one hand over his heart. âI love youâŚAlways.â
âEven now?â You nodded. âEspecially now.â He exhaled like heâd been holding his breath for months. âThen let me show you how much I love you too,â he whispered. âYes pleaseâŚâ you whisper as he worked his was down once more, smiling as he already got that little âpleaseâ out of you. His head disappeared under the thin blanket, kissing and sucking the skin of your thighs, grazing his fangs and sometimes biting like he really was getting taste out of the act. Your moaned softly into the air having to control your voice now more than ever, not wanting to be interrupted. Neteyamâs hands wrapped around your thighs pulling you closer and tossing your legs over his shoulders, his breath lingered on your core making you clench around nothing before you felt his mouth on you.
His tongue worked magic between your thighs, hit the spots he had hit perfected for years, as if it was the only thing in the world he was supposed to remember. Itâs been so long since felt him you didnât realize youâd want to cum so fast, his tongue flicked up and down, side to side making you arch your back and whimpers escape from your lips. Your hands tangled into his braids tugging him closer as if his face could be anymore buried in you. He sucked on your clit making your eyes go wide and your grip tighten in his hair as you hiss into the air, âohâŚoh my EywaâŚâ you whispered clenching your teeth and squeezing your eyes shut as he fucked his tongue into you, it only took a few sweet thrust before you were cuming on his tongue, your essence messing up his face, your thighs, and leaking down his chin to his neck as he lapped you up sweetly.
His head rose from the blanket as you were trying to catch your breath, he looked very pleased with himself. He wiped his face with the back of his hand before hovering over you again, his fingers trailing down to your core as he kissed you again letting you taste your cum on his tongue, it was sweet, like the flowers he picked for you yesterday. Your thighs twitched as his fingers made may to your hole, but you stopped him, âMa TeyamâŚâ you mumbled against his lips. He pulled away and looked down at you, âwhat is it sweetheart?â
You bit your lip at his sweet nickname and took a breath, âdonâtâŚ. donât put your fingers in..â Neteyam tilted his head at your request, itâs been months since the last time you had sex he wasnât to stretch you out, so it doesnât hurt as much, and he was about to say so before you spoke again. âWant your cock to stretch me outâŚwanna feel itâ you bit your lip and smile up at him sweetly, as if the most vile words ever didnât just come out of you. Neteyam let his fingers pause where they were toying between your folds, rubbing against your tight hole and look he gave you was wrecked. âOh, Great MotherâŚâ His groan punched from his chest like heâd been struck.
You snorted through your nose, half laughing, half breathless. âShh, the kids are asleep, ma Teyamââ You put a finger to his lips, wide-eyed. âDo not wake them.â He caught your wrist, kissed your fingertip, his voice rough and dark: âThen stop saying things that make me forget we even have children.â
He dipped his head into the crook of your neck, panting hard, his hand that was between your legs now gripped tight on your hips. âYou canât say things like that.â His voice was wrecked, trembling. You tilted your head sweetly. âWhy not?â He growled, lifting his head to look at you, eyes ablaze. âBecause Iâm trying to be gentle, and thatâŚâ âhe kissed you hard, teeth grazing your lipâ âmakes me want to ruin you.â You gasped into his mouth, heart pounding. His hands roamed now, slow but more desperate.
âStars, yawntu,â he muttered, his forehead resting against yours. âYouâre going to kill me.â You giggled â quiet and sinful. âYou keep saying that.â He groaned again, softer this time, but no less strained. âDonât do that, donât laugh like that after you didnât just say the nastiest thing to meâ which made you giggle again. âYou want me just like this?â he whispered, voice dipping low, dangerously low. âWant my cock in you just like that?â He asked as if he was confirming thatâs what you so desperately wanted. You nodded, lips parted, breathing shallow. And the fire in him roared. âYouâre playing a dangerous game.â But even as he said it, he was already gone for you.
His body shifted again, ridding himself of his loincloth now hanging, hard and heavy between his strong thighs over cunt. Before his hand could, you swiped your fingers on your tongue giving them a nice wet lick before grabbing his cock in your hand, your stroked it softly and his body tensed, âoh fuckâgreat motherâ he cursed dropping his head down, so your foreheads touched. âThat feel good baby?â You whisper into his mouth as your lips brush, but you didnât kiss.
âS-so goodâŚâ he matched your tone, strained. âMy poor husbandâŚso touch starved..â you giggle wickedly but it was still so, so hot to him. âYou missed me muntaxtan? Missed the way I touched you? Stroked your cock?â Your words were hot down his throat he couldnât breathe, so he nodded against you, brushing your skin close, quiet, hot. Like youâd just created a whole world for this moment. âWanna fuck me muntaxtan?â He nodded again, hand running down your body to grip his out cock over your hand, âyea? Do itâŚfuck me, put it in muntaxtanâŚâ you edged him as your jaw went slack as he entered you. Slowly, like he was memorizing how ever ridge on his cock, how every bugling vein felt going into your sweet, hot, cunt.
His jaw matched yours swallowing all the moans you let out, with every inch of his thick cock stretching you open. His eyes shut to calm himself, he felt like he could cum on the spot. âOhâŚEywaâ you moaned and his eyes darted open, taking in your furrowed brows and heavy panting. His cock was only halfway in at this point, and he stopped, moving back and forth giving you a few shallow thrusts, âcalling for God baby? Eywaâs not fucking you, my cock is fucking youâŚsay my name.â His voice was soft but commanding. Your legs wrapped around your waist, one over the other on his back, his tails wrapped around your ankle and yours around his thigh. Neteyam dug his cock deeper in, until he was fulling you completely, cock snug in your cock, âf-fuckâŚNeteyam.â You whispered into his mouth making him smile, âthatâs my good girlâŚso perfect for meâŚso good at taking instructions.â
Your eyes rolled you swear you was your brain when he started to move, shallow thrusts at first, balls slapping your skin softly as you took him in. âah, ah, ahâŚâ you went softly moaning against him. Your hands went up and over his shoulder to his back, digging into the skin as he started to spreed up his thrust. Your moaned start to get louder but he smiled and locked your lips in his kiss, swallowing all your noises, âshh babyâŚgonna wake the kids and I donât wanna stopâŚâ his tongue invaded your mouth quickly finding dominance over yours. It was sloppy and wet; you could barely kiss him back feeling him drag his cock against your sweet spot. His thrusts continued to get faster and faster until he was pounding into you, your entire body shook with his movements, but he kept you grounded, complete covered by him.
Your back arched off the soft mat, bringing your chest closer to his. His elbows hit the mat next to you bringing himself impossibly closer. âOhâoh just like thatâŚplease teyâteyam..â you moaned into his mouth, and he let out a grunt. âJust like that?â He repeated moving a little harder and you lost the ability to kiss completely, as you nodded against him. Then suddenly he pulled out completely, you let out a whine in frustration, but it didnât last long, his hands moved you without a thought, pushing you over onto your side and sliding into the spot behind you, back pressed against his chest facing the fireplace. His hand moved down to grip your right thigh pulling your entire leg up into the air as he effortlessly slides his cock back into your warmth with practiced ease.
Your stomach did flips when he started fucking you again, your hands gripping his arm that ended up under your neck and around the upper half of your body and you bit down on his bicep to keep from getting too loud. Your eyes were teary at this new depth, the way he just fit so perfectly into your cunt like you were made just for him. You sniffled leaning back against him wanting to be as close as possible while made him chuckle, âkeep your leg up.â He commanded and took your hand bringing it down to your lower stomach where his cock bugles out and pressing down. You chocked on air feeling his cock move in and out of you, heightened the sensitivity, it was as if he knew (which he did) that spot would over activate your sweet spot. Your eyes widened and your jaw went slack once more; you couldnât help the moans that escaped you. But he could, he gripped your lower face turning you to kiss him again swallowing up your moans, âfeel that baby?â He whispered against your lips, âthatâs how good I make you feel, you love it when I pump this cunt full huh?â He asked and you nodded frantically, âyesâŚyes yes yes feels so goodâŚâ
Neteyam smiled into your lips once again, âfuck youâre clenching so hard babyâŚgonna cum on my cock?â He asked speeding up his thrust once more, he was close too he wanted you to cum with him, and when you confirmed through a heavy moan you were close, he fucked info you faster. His grip tightened and so did yours, his hand that was in your stomach movedâwith yoursâ back around your right thigh intertwining your fingers together as he fucked you. Your release hit you like a rough wave as he emptied himself in you at the same time. Neteyam came so much while his cock was thrusting more and more cum into you, he filled you to the brim, so much so that it leaked out the sides of your cunt even though he was still inside you.
You both came down from your high, cock still snug in you, and his hand rubbed up and down the side of your body, then he stopped and wrapped around you even more holding you there against him, the way it was always meant to be. âThat was incredibleâ you bummed out making him chuckle. âI love you muntaxtanâ you whispered to him, eyes closing. âI love you more tĂŹyawn.â He said as he kissed your skin softly.
The fire crackled softly in front of you, casting flickering gold over the quiet curve of your back. The thin woven sheet barely covered the two of you, tangled between legs and limbs as you lay tucked between Neteyamâs arms, your back to his chest. His breath brushed the curve of your neck, slow and even now, but his fingers hadnât stopped tracing patterns into your skin. Outside, the night sang with insects and the oceanâs lullaby. Inside, it was still. Warm. Full.
Neteyamâs voice broke the silence gently, quiet and husky, his chin resting just above your shoulder. âI used to think home was a place. Forest. Sky. Clan.â You hummed softly, fingers brushing over his as they danced across your stomach. He paused, then pressed a kiss to the back of your shoulder, reverent and slow. âBut I know now⌠home isnât a place.â He paused. âHome is who you fight for. Who you crawl back to. Who you breathe for.â Another kiss, this one behind your ear. You felt the lump rise in your throat. He whispered it into your skin like it was prayer. âHome is You.â
You turned your face toward him, eyes full and glistening, and he kissed you. A soft, sacred kiss â not rushed, not fiery â just full of love. Of peace. Of truth. In that moment, with your body tucked to his, the fire warming your feet, and the stars peeking through the cracks in the thatched ceiling, everything was exactly as it should be. You smiled against his mouth, your voice a whisper. âAnd youâre mine.â He pulled you closer. Held you tighter. And there, beneath the soft songs of night and the gentle crackle of fire, the story that once felt like it shattered â finally felt whole again.
đ Likes comments and reblogs are always appreciated.
đI hope you all enjoyed reading this, honestly I tried to make it as realistic as possible, relationships are messy, especially when trauma is involved. So please any feedback Iâd love to hear, and any ideas are welcome!
Taglist:Â
@rivatar @delusionalwh6re @strongheartneteyam @xylianasblog @nilahsstuff @inlovewithpandora @m1tsu-ki @xrollingmyeyesx @goofygremlin123 @quicktosimp @r11k4 @its-jennarose @anonymuslydumb @winterhi09 @teymars @kylimarz @jakesullyfatjuicypeen @unholycheesesnack @pandoraslxna @pandorxxx @majestickitty @plantgirliewholovespandora @thisaintredwine @kodzuminx @avatarobsessedgirly @kdacase @dayyzlol @beautifulglitterwombat @spideyweirdo @angelita-uchiha @himikoquack @inutheangel @teyamsgrl @tallulah477 @tiredmamaissy @labelt-san @eliankm @jackiehollanderr @siljuskaz @bubblegum-chewing-gum @gezelligs-world @tsuraika @dongyoungknows
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YESSSSA
when i want fluff/angst fics and all iâm getting is smut


the struggle is real
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Someone give me good Paul atreides fics WITHOUT PURE NSFW CONTENT I WANT AGNST TRAUMA GRIEF PLEASSSSEEEE
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Iâm working on something again after years⌠my bad it was requested lonnnnnggg ago and im stuck because Iâm not feeling it but I will give it my best ARGEHHHHG
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Period
Do I like my own posts? Yes
Am I ashamed? No
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I am in my Dune era why didnât I start sooner someone explain ?!
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JEURNWNDMCMCMCMALE

Based on some comments from one of my posts about Rhaenyra and Alicent paralleles and the double standard of how the fandom treats them.
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So Iâm rewatching the vampire diaries and why does it look like Jeremy drew sasuke đ

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Iâm such an idiotâŚ. Keyword: laptop I knew it was gonna be laggy BUT NOT LIKE THAT GURL I donât know sheet about pcs đAND A GOOD ONE IS EXPENSIVE AF
AFTER YEARS OF PLAYING FAKE MINECRAFT OR ON MY CONSOLE I FINALLY HAVE IT ON MY LAPTOPPPPPPP
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AFTER YEARS OF PLAYING FAKE MINECRAFT OR ON MY CONSOLE I FINALLY HAVE IT ON MY LAPTOPPPPPPP
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Guilty
if i post a fic and get no kudos or comments in the first fifteen minutes iâm a failure and should never write again. but the moment i get 1 comment iâm the next stephen king
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SOMEONE
I want to see feral Aemond. Aemond who gets his first taste of bloodshed and war and is immediately addicted to it. Perched up on Vhagar watching over his army as they slaughter their enemies and smiling. I want to see his eye light up with the thrill of killing. Feeling the bloodthirst he wasn't even aware of having.
I want to see war corrupt him. See him try to be a dutiful son, try to prove himself as a better option than Aegon only to be seduced by his family's centuries long vice - fire and blood.
Breathe in the smell of smoke and destruction and revel in it. Slowly lose himself and what's important to the excitement of being so formidable.
Want him to start his journey focused on what needs to be done for his family's survival only to completely forgo them when they need him the most because he can't resist the pull of death.
Struggle with killing because he was raised by Alicent âReluctance to murder is not a weaknessâ Hightower just to turn his back on her when she needs him the most because something inside of him won't let him leave the battlefield.
Want his conscience to eat away at him for even thinking of choosing the destruction of Riverlands over his family and still being unable to choose going back to KL. Fighting with himself to choose the right thing and failing to do so.
Let murder become his drug. His addiction that is making him forget who he is. That is reshaping him into a monster his own mother could no longer love and recognize.
Let him become a true Targaryen who burns the world down just to feel the high of it. Just to feel powerful. To warm a hidden monstrous part of himself that's been revealed. Let it get to his head and cloud his judgement to the point where he wouldn't choose anything over the satisfaction of taking a life he finds less worthy than his own.
Let war be his making and his downfall.
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I tried building a castle inspired by GOT it ended up looking like a stick of cheese đ
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I LOVE IT đ
Y/N: *stubs her toe* Ow! Son of a bi-
Maggie: Y/N! Thereâs a child! *gestures to Judith*
Y/N: âŚiscuit⌠Son of a biscuit
Glenn: Nice save
Y/N: Yeah. Fucking nailed it, man
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Since no one is saying it I will do it
Viserys is such a cutie poo I donât care how bad he was to his children and or good, look at him enjoying life
He has no opinion neither do I so Iâm team viserys whoâs gonna stop me EXACTLY THE CANâT

#team viserys#viserys#house of the dragon#aemond targaryen#aemond#alicent#lucerys#aegon#another day another slay#jacaerys#queen rhaenyra#daemon targaryen#house of the dragon x reader
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