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04082025|2115

I am still reeling from this weekend’s GP. Charles did not deserve to have his pole position ruined by the engineers, he lost his cool and nearly caused a crash in his desperation. I havent seen a most depressing weekend in ages. And i happened to have watched Olympo before the GP which made me realize how depressing and desperate some athletes get to for a chance to win. (Highly recommend the show despite its flaws)

📺: Mary & George episode 2

📖: a couple Spideypool 2021 fanfics

👾:Marvel Rivals / FFXIV

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27072027|1436

Watching Spa Belgium F1GP

Suffering from day one period cramps

Catching up to FFXIV content

A good afternoon made better by the news that i can possibly start a new major and work on my second degree which could potentially change my career course and the delayed national exam that give me more time to think about what to do. Pursue the second degree or go further in my initial one.

I’ll start my study journey here, logging every task and study session i do so that even if i decide against taking the national exam i would at least have spent the summer doing something productive and not waste it on screens and rotting my brains out.

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03062025

A special day yet it feels dreadful, it’s meant to be celebrated and enjoyed but all i feel is fear and contempt.

They say family helps with hardships but in my case my family is the hardship, surrounded by those who hear and don’t listen. Those who impose and force you into molds of their own doings, those who slither their ways into every crevasse of your life to control and manage it like you’re not a human with free will but a doll to break in.

I wont dwell on the big looming dark cloud today, i spent the night leading to this morning watching 9 1 1 lone star and enjoying the characters interpersonal relationships. It gave me a fuzzy feeling that dampened down the sore numbness i’ve been feeling all this time.

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01102024

First day of october, the year went by fast, my exam is fast approaching and i still feel as lost as i was 8 years ago. I wanted for the first of October to be a special day, where i get to draw, study, go out but all i did was watch a couple episodes of FTWD (will post a summary abt my thoughts regarding them tmrw nchlh) and read a quite delightful Dead boy detectives fanfic, which honestly took me around 5 hours to read in total.

Maybe tmrw will bring something new and refreshing for me to get out of this slump

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Back to Fear The Walking Dead

29092024

so i went back to my rewatch party and reached season 3, i dont have much to say regarding season 02 because i kept skipping most of but i did watch the last two episodes again. am still saddened by Travis's death but understand why the actor wanted out and tbh i can see the effort the showrunners put in not letting his death affect the show immensely even if it did affect it, he could've been the voice of reason with Taka's people and just overall gave a really good show regarding the Otto's racism and savagery towards the natives and mexicans, sadly we got to see Madison turn everything upside down for her own self serving needs. to me Madison this season was great only because of how bad she tapped into her controlling side, everything she did from the first moment she met Troy to the very end was for her own sake only, using Travis's death, downright disrespecting his sacrifice to save Nick as repentance of his failure to protect Chris was foul, after all this years i still feel angry that she used his death to earn sympathy from the Ottos. i like how Troy mentioned that, i really like what they did with Troy and i swear if Madison didnt pull half the shit she pulled he would have been reformed but no her manipulation caused the downfall of the ranch as well as Troy causing a lot of trouble to earn her motherly approval, the same approval her own kids no longer want to seek. i like that dichotomy they showed with Nick and Alicia seeing their mother for who she is and thinking about wanting Out and away from her compared to Troy's feelilngs and actions towards Madison to want her to be with him.

am only up to episode 10 and the episodes 8 9 and 10 even their titles were amazing, the conflict was great i hate Jeremiah and i hate that his racist pride and ego got everyone he didnt like but everyone he wanted to control killed. i love the final words he stated and why Nick shot him, he refuses to believe his mother is exactly like Jeremiah even though she truly is. i'll continue watching the rest of the episodes. Nick, Alicia, Jeremiah and Troy's actors were all amazing so far, not much so Jake's and Madison's

Strand's moment with the astronaut was wonderful but i didnt like how they used strand in these random events to get him to drive the story, once he is at the hotel next the dam then the bazar? why it just felt forced, especially the bazar place.

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i put my medicine in my bedside table drawer, i dont trust the humidity of the bathroom nor the safety of someone else accessing it in the kitchen or being heated when i use the kitchen. only medicine i put in the kitchen are the ones that need to stay cooled in the fridge.

recently saw ppl discuss whether they put their medicines in a kitchen cabinet or a bathroom cabinet and i was shocked by the fact that many ppl said kitchen cabinet. so now i need you to reblog this and say where you keep yours

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Dead Boys Detectives final thoughts

27092024

i finished the show last night at midnight and it left me buzzing! i loved every aspect of it, Crystal's dynamic with Charles, the slow build up of Edwin's coming into the understanding of who he is and who he loves as well as the confession, i havent enjoyed a confession this good in ages where yes it took a lot of courage to get his feelings across but it looked and felt so easy for Charles to understand it and take it all in as it is and accept him and his feelings for what they are ' have forever to figure out what this is between us' just paraphrasing it since everything is all jumbled is the best open ended rejection i've seen and it's so well delivered and would have loved to see them explore it in future seasons but we all know that won't happen sadly. i loved Esther as the final boss she is just so good at delivering her lines and straight up being evil for the sake of it! yes Cat king told us the why she became a witch but that really is just that, it doesnt absolve her of all the horrors she put people through and the pleasure she gets from it. i've missed a good villain who is just that, a villain and goddamn was she a great one.

i love how the show didnt shy away from giving Crystal something to think about other than being a mary sue with powers that just come in handy at any moment but actually make her a flawed character who wasnt really someone good in the past and used her powers for her own gains, that she learnt to accept her past and work on her present as well as showcase her struggle throughout the show in getting her memories, fighting off david and failing a lot of times as well as how she gained her powers back. I was one to hate on any Netflix female lead character because of how they would write them as all powerful righteous quirky female characters who do no harm but no Crystal did harm but she did as much if not more good as she did harm because she's just a teenager! they are all teenagers navigating a chaotic world. and i really love the actress's portrayal of her and just how she delivers her lines with raw emotions, loved her a lot!

this one is personal but call me prude i dont care however i really loved the minimal PDA and sexual actions in the show it really made it feel comfortable to watch and the kissing scenes were there to aid the narration, Crystal and Charles's relationship as well as Monty and Edwin's they werent just kissing scenes for the heck of it for the viewers to take pleasure in but for the characters to develop and grow

now to my favourite characters Niko! i kinda laughed at the understandable lack of proper manga and anime references due to liscening and copyrights issues but they did their best in showing her nerdy shut in style as well as make her a character who grows out of her hikikimori problem into someone who loves to help everyone despite failing at times, they didnt make her stupid comic relief but an actual smart awkward female character, a good friend to Edwin i honestly loved every scene of them both together.

the cat king was a fun watch whenever he came on screen and he had his own goals instead of just 'use him to progress the plot forward', he did what he did and he was the start of the main storyline of the show Locking the boys in the town as well as kickstarting Edwin's journey in self discovery. and his final interaction with Edwin was really lovely and sincere.

Am quite upset knowing that i will never see the cast again because netflix cancelled the show but in another hand am satisfied with this one season, they told everything they had to tell about the characters each one of them was given the spotlight they deserved even Tragic Mick and it ended well for a season. Aside from the ending where they show Niko and the dandelion folks who were funny to me btw, unlikely friendship haha, i could live with just one season.

i would love to see Niko come back and for Edwin to have his friend around, they make a great quadra team with their own respective personalities but i am satisfied with just this one season in fear that netflix would ruin the show like how they did with Umbrella Academy. Honestly if it werent for a tumblr post talking about Dead Boys Detective i would have never given it a chance or had this much fun watching it. Loved it to bits! ps: i also really like how all the actors are adults, they looked like teens so i had to google their ages considering the issue film industry is going through with child actors exploitation and all so am glad they hired adults to act in this. also didnt Finality? i forgot her name the one who came with the Night Nurse in the end to let the boys continue their work say the same sentence Tragic Mick told to Niko before they went to help out the boys at the witch's den? i really loved that tid bit, i loved the dialogue, gosh i love the scriptwriting of this.

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Dead boy detectives Episode 6

i just had to quickly jot this down because so far i truly loved the show the storylines the emotions the interactions but i had to take a pause here because WHAT IS THAT ROOFTOP SCENE? i noticed some jarring cg work and set design in the show but none of them was as horrible as the rooftop scene at the 9 minutes mark, the whole rooftop and background is so ugly! anyway loving the story and development i just had to state my distaste for that as if the showrunners ran out of budget as the episodes went on

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Dead Boys Detectives

26092024 Hi! it's been hectic couple days since i had to travel to sign up for an exam i'll be taking in a couple weeks which means no time or internet access to stream FTWD like i intended but curiously i had saved Dead Boys Detectives after weeks of reading on the cancellation of the show, curiousity got to me and ta-dah! am watching it now! am three episodes in and i already understand the uproar the fandom is rightfully having due to the cancellation, i haven't had this much fun watching a netflix show in ages! i love the premise of the show, the dynamic of the team and most importantly the acting of all Charles, Edwin and Crystal they really know how to land their emotions right and most important of all so far the dialogue has not suffered one bit? surprising since that was my biggest gripes with netflix as of recent years. I am indeed looking forward to watch the rest of the episodes and write my thoughts about the little details regarding the characters that i perceive. take care!

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24092024

I forgot to update yesterday, i binge watched the totality of season 1 of ftwd, and tbh it stood the test of time not sure if it's because of the low quality shows in recent times or because of nostalgia.

I really liked the dynamic each character has and the setting up for the apocalypse but that's basically it, still dislike Madison and i think Exner should've had more potential as a character instead of her ending like that.

Debating if i should watch season 2 or jump straight to season 3.

After all these years i am still upset at the light signal house plotline where i wished it was Tobias or something much more than just "oh this is a wake up call for Travis to not believe in the military because he sees that house being shot up after he tells Moyers abt it"

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Fear The Walking Dead

29092024 it's been nearly 10 years since the release, i followed closely the franchise from the parent season to the other spinoffs but for some reason i've been itching to rewatch FTWD more recently, and today i started with season 1, sorta debating on if i'll continue with S2 or just jump to S3. i have had a lot of criticism for it before but i am fond of the nostalgia and feelings i used to get tuning in every monday at 4am my timezone to watch the latest episode. i wont deny i was disappointed in S3 ending as well as the remaining seasons, but i pulled through up to S5 then dropped it. this rewatch fest i might be inclined to give the rest of the seasons a chance or just relive the memories i had with S1 up to S4. As i am writing this am not even halfway through the first episode and i already see the potential it had, the actors expressions and line deliveries, it turly was a good first episode. i will update at a later date about my 10 years later review of FTWD season 1 and see if my thoughts changed from when i was a teen or not.

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Ramble

23092024 i am starting this blog to just ramble and pour my thoughts in since i've noticed that my creativity, attention span and overall just happiness and thinking dwindled over the years. hopefully i'll be able to update this blog like a daily journal or diary to just talk to myself into the void.