roll4angst

[roll4angst]

Work has finally calmed down after almost a week of being busy. Gonna hopefully get some writing done

[roll4angst]

Overworked

I made this very uh… caster friendly because I've never played a sorcerer and don’t know how to write for one.

You sat staring at the book. Reading and rereading the spells trying to commit them to memory. Rubbing your hands over your eyes you sigh, the words were becoming jumbled and blurred and you really couldn't make any sense of them. You lay your head on the book, maybe they’ll just. Absorb into you. You stay like that for a minute before you shake yourself awake. No, you had to get these couple down, then you could be done. You sigh and go back to your attempt at reading. 

After who knows how many minutes you feel two hands start rubbing your shoulders softly. You groan and try to wriggle out of the soothing touch but the grip is tight. You hang your head, you had hoped he wouldn’t come looking for you. The impromptu massage continues with soft added kisses to your neck. You let out a quiet noise of disapproval but knew you couldn’t really stop him. He eventually rests his head on yours, violet hands moving to embrace you from behind. You let out an annoyed sigh and feel him chuckle behind you.

“Did you really think I could fall asleep without you?” You sigh again moving your head back to lay on your book. You feel him shift around you and his hands are guiding your face to look at him. “My love.” You make some noise of response and he frowns lightly at you. “Come on, you’re exhausted. Learning new spells right now is pointless.” You shake your head into your book.

“I gotta get these memorized.” You lift your head and continue staring at the pages, knowing if you look at Essek you’ll go straight to bed with him. He sighs and stands. You don’t hear him leave but you hear the door shut beside him. You groan quietly and let a few tears stray out. You know doing this to yourself is also stressing him out but you can’t fall behind. He is already so smart and then he goes and makes friends with Caleb who is beyond brilliant. You see the tear drip onto your book and sigh, maybe a small break would be okay. 

You head to the kitchen to see Essek pouring tea into two mugs. He looks up and smiles at you. “Great minds think alike I see.” You smile softly. He finishes your tea and brings it to you. You thank him quietly and he grabs his and leans against the counter. Watching you, no, studying you. You sigh and sip at the tea enjoying the silence. When you finally decide to meet his eyes they’re intense.  You keep eye contact as you take another sip of your tea, he raises an eyebrow and your eyes widen. 

“You. Bastard.” It’s quiet, but he hears it and smiles. You pout at him and put the mug down crossing your arms. He floats over and behind you before wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling your neck while you pout. How tired you were was really hitting you now. No thanks to the sleepy time tea Essek had slipped you. Asshole. You let out a yawn. “I… really hate you.” He kisses your neck softly.

“No you don’t, come on it’s time for sleep.” You shake your head and feel his arms shift around you and suddenly your feet aren’t touching the floor as he carries you to bed. He sets you down and you don’t even have the fight in you anymore. You curl under the blanket and pout again. His arms snake around you and he peppers kisses on your neck and shoulders until you give in and turn to face him. He kisses you softly and pulls you into his chest. “I love you. I want you to improve in your craft. But I will not let you kill yourself to do so.” You sigh and nod snuggling into him before sleep takes you, safe in the arms of the man who loves you most.

[roll4angst]

Hiii its me again!!! I would like to request sorta like a fluffy moment of essek with workaholic sorcerer reader Its been a hard day today tbh im sorry if i am asking too much

Never asking too much!! Working on it now!

[roll4angst]

Make or Break

Warning: this has a lot of internal hatred so please read carefully, I love y’all.

You brushed your outfit down again, that being the only thing keeping you from pacing the floor. When the knock to the door came Jester was answering it before you could turn around. Moving your hands to your hips you glance over Essek. He looked great, not that you were expecting any less from him. When you meet his eyes he smiles softly and steps to you, his hand brushing your cheek lightly 

“You look… Beyond words, my love.” You blush and lean your head into his hand. He lightly rubs his thumb over your cheek bone scanning your body. Probably checking for any imperfections, a meeting with his family called for absolute perfection. This would be your second meeting with his family and to say you were nervous was an understatement.

“It’s… it’s not too much? Or too showy? I just want to make sure that-” His other hand comes up to also cup your face forcing you to stare at his now concerned eyes. 

“You look stunning. Absolutely perfect. I promise.” He smiles and kisses your nose as you nod and take his now offered hand. The trip there wasn’t too long, but long enough for you to get lost in your thoughts. 

The last time you had visited his family you had been pulled aside by his mother. She had gone over all of things you would need to improve if you were to ever get her approval. And it was a big if. It was safe to say if you and Essek ever wanted to move forward in your relationship, his mother would have none of it. The rest of that night you had felt the females of his family glaring at you whenever your back was turned. He of course didn’t notice. He shook you from your thoughts as you arrived. 

Walking into the event you felt the shift once you had entered. Essek left you to your own devices as he went to talk with some family and you kept to yourself, figuring trying to socialize was pointless. The whole time you weren’t next to Essek you could feel the eyes on you. Someone was always watching you, waiting for you to mess something up and it normally was his mother. With a deep breath you continue your fiddling of your fingers and focus on Essek, he’s laughing at something someone said and it makes you smile softly. 

After a while he came over to you, arm wrapping around your waist pulling you closer and resting his chin on your shoulder. You want so badly to melt into him but you feel the glare from his mother and instead opt to detach yourself and take a step away. He looks confused and a little hurt but brushes it off, holding out his hand for you to take. You smile as you do and he takes you with him this time to talk with his family. The entire time you’re with them you feel the glare intensify when you speak, or laugh, or even react at anything that is said. It’s becoming too much and you can’t take it much longer. Leaning closer to Essek you whisper that you’re going to take a breather and when you’re shutting the door you swear you see his mother with a victorious smirk on her face. 

Roaming around the garden you sigh, finally letting out all the stress of the night, slouching your shoulders just a bit and just breathing without being watched. You wandered the gardens before sitting at a bench near the estate. Bringing your legs up to sit criss cross and look up at the sky. You had lost track of time so when a figure sat next to you, you weren’t surprised to see a concerned looking Essek. Except… he looked mad. Had you finally done it? Messed up bad enough for him to leave you? The nein would have a fit but they’d get over it. 

You kept watching the sky, afraid that if you looked at him not in your peripherals you’d start to cry. Unfortunately, you could feel the anger radiating off of him. You closed your eyes and sighed feeling the tears building in you already and you met his eyes, or tried to. He was staring at the ground, fists clenched. You feel one tear slip down your cheek, you caused this. He was stressed and upset because you weren’t good enough it was all your fault and- 

You feel yourself choke back a sob and his head snaps to you. His eyes go soft and he goes to cup your cheek but you move away, moving your head to stare at the ground. Gods how pathetic are you? He hasn’t even said anything and you're crying like a child. His hand grabs your chin lightly and forces you to look at him. Your eyes are watery and he’s wiping at your cheeks. 

“Y/n… My love-”

“Don’t. Essek please just. Just do it. I know why, and it’s okay. Just please don’t hurt me like this. I know i’m not the kind of pretty you need and I won’t live long enough to be with you forever, I don’t come back so you can’t have me in the next life. I can’t provide you kids that will live nearly as long as you. I can’t be the kind of person you deserve and I can’t make myself become that and I just…” You trail off eyes on his chest, too scared to look into his eyes. “Just, tell me it’s over and i’ll go, but don’t tease me like this.” You close your eyes and you feel more tears come out. What you weren’t expecting was his lips to close over yours lightly, both hands cupping your face and pulling it closer to you. The kiss is one of the softest you’ve ever received from him. Esseks kisses are normally full of passion even when they’re soft but this one feels like he’s scared of breaking you. He pulls back and lightly peppers kisses down the tracks your tears left leaving one more light kiss on your lips before fully pulling back, still holding your face in his hands. You look at him shocked and he looks… angry again. You’re ready to pull away but he hold your face firmly. 

“When were you going to tell me.” You look at him, genuinely confused and he sighs and moves one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Y/n, when were you going to tell me what my mother said to you?” Your eyes widen and he looks at you a little shocked. “Were you just… not going to tell me?” He says this softly, he sounds hurt, and it's your fault. You start to tear up again and hes immediately shaking his head. “No, no no no no. My love, it’s okay. I promise. I just.. I can’t believe you kept this to yourself. She said terrible, completely untrue things to you. How could you not tell me about this?” He sounds so broken. 

“I… She’s your mother Essek… She also… She’s not wrong..”

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare tell me she was right.” He looks angry again but it’s not aimed at you. “I love you. I am in love with you. I’ll be in love with you the rest of my life, no matter how long you’re a part of it. I will always love you. You are the only person I want to give my love to and thats that. If you stop loving me, fine. I’ll accept that. But you are not leaving me because someone else told you how our relationship works.” The look in his eyes intense and you know he means every word out of his mouth. “Please, tell me if something in our relationship is bothering you.” He kisses your forehead and stands offering you a hand which you take. He leads you around to the entrance of the estate and kisses your hand. “Give me one moment okay?” You nod softly and he goes inside. You hear.. Yelling of some sort but can’t make out the words. He comes out and smiles at you softly. “Shall we?” You nod softly and he starts the journey home.

Essek barely has reason to go to the estate after that. Only when it is absolutely required of him. When he finally proposes his mother was informed, after the fact.

[roll4angst]

May i request an essek fanfic that is about having to comfort a low-self esteemed and suddenly aloof s/o after having to deal with a negative backlash from the dynasty court (this request was inspired by one of the headcanons of maroonwave)

working on this now!!

[roll4angst]

I’m hopefully gonna get some writing done today. My motivation has been trash recently.

[roll4angst]

Jealous Reader

@fanfictionenthusiast this took so long i’m so sorry

You watched as she giggles at something he says. Your eyes trained on them yet you can’t bring yourself to go over there. The sips from your drink are turning lukewarm and you sigh chugging the rest of it. Jester now hanging off of Calebs arm while he turns a dark shade of crimson. Fjord leaves his spot with Caduceus to sit by you. 

“Ya know. If you told him how you feel he wouldn’t let her do that.” You roll your eyes turning to look at him. 

“He likes her far to much to even consider telling her no. We both know that.” You move to get another drink but Fjords hand on your arm stops you.

“Hey, we all really care about you. Jester asked me the other day if you were upset with her, I told her you were just tired but…. We notice when you’re off.” Your heart tightens. You love the blue tiefling like she was your sister. To hear that she thought you were upset tore you apart. You blink a little processing and looking at Fjord. 

“I’ll… I’ll talk to her. She didn’t do anything and she doesn’t deserve to feel like she did.” He nods at you smiling softly. You look over at the two in question to see their faces close together whispering at who knows what. You look back down at your cup and sigh. “Actually, I think i’m done drinking for the night. I’m gonna get some rest.” Fjord looks over at them then back at you with a soft smile. Before nodding and taking your cup to have washed. You sigh as he pats your shoulder lovingly before letting you start your trek to your room. You’re part way down the hallway when you hear the familiar voice call you.

“Y/N?” Turning you see Jester at the top of the stairs. You smile at her and she grins and runs over standing next to you. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Jes, just tired.” She pouts at you while you smile, and though you try you know it's a sad smile. 

“I think you’re lying but still... “ She fiddles with her fingers and you sigh grabbing one of her hands. 

“Jester, i’m not mad at you i’m just.. Sorting some feelings out.” Her pout deepens and you sigh again. “Jester..” You look at her and she’s already hitting you with the puppy dog eyes. “I.. Look you don’t have to feel bad or anything I just… I really like Caleb. I know how he feels and I just… I’m trying to get over it.” You sigh and looks at her. She looks, confused but looks over your shoulder and smiles. You raise an eyebrow at her and turn to see a blushing Caleb looking at the stairs, one foot still on the last step. Your eyes widen and you move past Jester and into your room, shutting the door and sliding down it. You can hear them talking but you’re too panicked to actually listen. You try to calm your breathing. Once its settled outside your room is quiet. You sigh and give yourself some time to think. You eventually hear everyone else head to their rooms. You sigh again standing up and heading to the kitchen, you needed tea if you were ever going to sleep. 

Stepping into the dark kitchen you sigh and let your eyes adjust when a light floats above your head. Caleb is sitting at the table with a book and one of his light globes has been sent over your head. You stand there frozen. He didn’t look up from his book he just kept reading. You finally move yourself over to the sink to start making tea when you hear him clear his throat. Turning to look he has two cups of tea sitting with him, His hand on one of the cups. You put the kettle back where it was and head over, mumbling a quiet thank you. You grab the cup and take a sip, it’s perfect. A shock to no one that Caleb knows how everyone takes their tea. You hold it for a moment and notice he hasn’t turned the page of his book since you came into the kitchen. You sigh and sit at the table with him. 

“Caleb-”

“Nein, you don’t need to say anything.” He continues staring at the book infront of him and you silently sip at your tea. He finally flips the page and you look at your empty cup. A hand is on yours and you look to see Caleb still reading his book. “I uh.. My feelings for Jester..” You move your hand from his and wave it.

“Caleb you don’t need to explain or apologize or whatever you’re gonna do. It’s okay. I can’t ask you to stop your feelings or-”

“Let me finish?” The request is soft and his eyes aren’t meeting yours. You stay silent and nod, even though he isn’t looking at you. “My feelings for Jester… were complicated. But we talked about them and I realized it wasn’t as romantic as I thought. I realized that because I met you, and you captured my attention and thoughts in a way Jester never could.” His eyes don’t meet yours but they snap up when your hand goes to wipe your eyes. His hands cover yours as he moves them. He moves his hands back to your cheeks and wipes the pads of his thumbs under your eyes, trying to catch the few tears that had slipped. “Please… Don’t cry, i’m sorry I made you think I didn’t return your feelings I just didn’t want to push anything onto you and with-” You move a hand over his mouth and you feel his mouth shut behind your hand. 

“Caleb, I care about you so much. I should’ve never assumed anything about you and Jester.” His eyes softly look at you and you move your hand to rest on his shoulder. His thumbs now rubbing your cheek bones. 

“We both were acting… uh, pretty silly ja?” he smiles softly and you chuckle and kiss his nose.

“Very silly.” His face is red and you smile softly. His head tilts to the side and he leans slightly closer to you. “Caleb…” His eyes meet yours and any words you were going to say die in your throat. His eyes seemed to delve into your soul and you couldn’t find words, you instead glance down at his lips which had a small smile and he moved the slightest bit closer to you. His eyes now almost shut and you move both your hands to his shoulders. 

He moves his head to connect your lips and your eyes close and you kiss him back softly. His lips are chapped but this kiss is soft and sweet and you probably could kiss him for hours and not notice. You want to kiss him for hours and not notice. He pulls back and you lean forward in an attempt to catch his lips again but he uses his hands holding your face to keep you in place,

“I uh.. I know i’m not a eh perfect person. So if you at any point feel different I would completely understand and respect your decision and I-” You lean forward and kiss him softly. 

“Caleb, I know the kind of person you are, I fell for you either way. Just… Let me care about you?” He nods softly and kisses your forehead, resting his against yours. “Caleb,” He moves back to meet your eyes. “I’m exhausted and it's really late, we should get some rest.” He nods and stands offering you his hand which you take. He walks with you to your rooms and stops in front of yours. He brings your hand to his lips and presses a kiss to your hand before turning it and also pressing one to your wrist. He lets go with a squeeze and stands awkwardly at your door, unsure if he should turn and go or follow you in. You sense his uneasiness and kiss his cheek.

“You’re more than welcome to come in with me but I’m warning you, once I hit the bed i’m going to be out like a light.” He nods and follows you into the bed. Once the two of you settle in some form of cuddling, you knock out and just remember the feeling of his lips pressed to your hair right before you fall asleep.

[roll4angst]

Cuddly Fjord

This is really short but I was soft this morning when I wanted to go back to sleep so take some soft soft warlock boy. 

It had been around a month since you and Fjord had confessed to each other, the nein knew, you weren’t going to try and hide it from them. It was nice, holding his hand. Occasionally kissing his cheek in public. The two of you had decided for the time being to stay in separate rooms, neither of you wanted to rush the relationship or put pressure on the other one. Plus, having separate spaces is good for a healthy relationship.

It was cold this morning. The cold in the night had caused you to toss and turn keeping you awake and currently exhausted. You sighed again and sat up, sleep clearly wasn’t coming to you anytime soon. You stumbled your way to your door debating between making food or trying to sleep in the hammock on the rooftop garden when you hear a snore from the room next to you. It’s not loud, but in the silence you can hear it. You look at his door before making the decision to open it. 

Fjord is knocked out, still enjoying his rest. You smile softly and watch him for a moment before going into the room and shutting his door behind you. Still in your sleep clothes you sit on his bed careful not to disturb him. You rearrange him softly so you’re nestled in his arms and nuzzle his chest sighing happily. You feel him move and it hits you that you may have crossed a line. You feel lips on the top of your head.

“Mornin love.” You sigh again keeping your face hidden in his chest. “You okay?” His tone is less sweet and far more concerned. You shake your head before mumbling into his chest. He chuckles and you feel it before his hands go to your shoulders and he moves back to look at your face, you pout at him upset with the lack of heat. “I can’t hear you if you’re hiding your face.”

“I couldn’t sleep last night, i’m exhausted.” He nods and moves so you’re back to being nestled in his arms. He kisses your head every minute or two whispering some kind of compliment. You smiles softly.

[roll4angst]

If you follow me youre probably already following this lovely but just in case their writing makes me 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Masterlist

Caleb:

Keep You Safe

Do That Again

Home

I’ve Got You

Behind Closed Doors

Comfort

Haven’t Lost Me

Good Looking

Fire and Water

Is That My Shirt?

Dancing

Please

Pomegranate Tea

D (Alphabet Prompt)

Early Gray Tea

B & J (Alphabet Prompt)

K (Alphabet Prompt)

X (Alphabet Prompt)

W (Alphabet Prompt)

Needy 

Mollymauk:

Darling

Dating Mollymauk

Show Me 

In the Morning

No Rush

Comfort

Found

Insecurities

Breakdowns

T (Alphabet Prompt)

Milk Tea

Earl Gray Tea

X (Alphabet Prompt)

Needy

Caduceus:

Spring

Right Here

Sleepy Kisses

Even Now

H & U (Alphabet Prompt)

Lemon Tea

First Time

J, V, & X (Alphabet Prompt)

D (Alphabet Prompt)

Rosehip Tea

G & M (Alphabet Prompt)

Hibiscus Tea

I & W (Alphabet Prompt)

Yasha:

Dance with Me

Loss 

Thunder

Promise

Captured

Cuddling HC’s

Pomegranate Tea

Matcha Tea

B & K (Alphabet Prompt)

Q (Alphabet Prompt)

Beauregard:

Luck

Insecurities

I Can’t

Comfort

I & K (Alphabet Prompt)

A & P (Alphabet Prompt)

Nott:

I’ll Try

Revived 

Backstory

You Owe Me

Jester:

Comfort

B & K (Alphabet Prompt)

Lemon Tea

Harvest Spice

D & Z (Alphabet Prompt)

Fjord:

Everything

Keep Your Guard Up

Mind If I Join You?

Modern AU

Shadow Form

Spiders

Dancing

Z (Alphabet Prompt)

Lemon Tea

Earl Gray Tea

X (Alphabet Prompt)

F, J, & K (Alphabet Prompt)

Mighty Nein:

Cuddling with the Mighty Nein

Cuddling with the Mighty Nein pt. 2

Injured in Battle 

Jealousy

Between the Sheets

Teeny Tiny

Resurrection

When You’re Sick

Accidents and Apologies

Shopping Trips

Singing

First Kiss

Winter Crest Festival

College Majors

Small and Angry

Mighty Nein as Text Messages I’ve Sent

Heart Eyes

E for the Mighty Men (Alphabet Prompt)

Mighty Nein as Text Messages I’ve Sent pt. 2

Essek:

Spicy HC’s

[roll4angst]

Resurfaced Cont.

Y’all just want soft Caleb don’t you? Understandable I love him very much. Welcome to Mac can’t write people looking each other in the eye because they themself is very bad at eye contact.

It had been months since you last saw Caleb. Well… months since he knew you saw him. You tried your hardest but somehow you always ended up in the same place as him and his friends. Seeing him happy and at peace made you feel better and you didn’t mean to find him but somehow you did.

You had just seen him with the “not” goblin and had turned immediately around and walked the other way. How did this keep happening. You were ready to go back to the room you were staying in, collect your things and leave again. When a hand grabbed your shoulder and dragged you into a room that definitely wasn’t yours. When you looked up you saw the rest of Caleb's friends. 

“Why are you following us?” A girl in a blue vest, coat thing was staring you down while a green half-orc had a hand on her shoulder seeming to keep her at bay. 

“Easy Beau.” He said, grip tightening on her shoulder. Tugging her back slightly he turns to look at you. “Are you following us?” You shake your head looking at them, a little to shook up to speak. You’re ready to yell at them for even assuming such a thing when the door open then slammed shut. You could hear bickering about the wrong room outside the door untilit opened again and Caleb walked in eyes angry and landing on you. They soften softly before turning into a glare at the group that had pulled you into the room. 

Still shaken up you look between them trying to decide if escaping was even worth it. While losing yourself in your head you fail to notice Caleb crouching down in front of you.

“Did they hurt you?” He speaks in zemnian, you assume it’s to give you some sort of sense of privacy. You shake your head and he sighs, standing and shooing his friends out of the room. “I’m sorry about them I don’t know what got into them, I knew you were here but to be following me?” He shakes his head refusing to make eye contact.

“I don’t know how we keep ending up in the same town Caleb.” He raises his head and smiles softly. 

“You noticed too?” You nod and slowly his hand creeps to hold yours. He looks you in the eyes. “You’re still traveling alone ja?” You nod again as he brings your hand to his mouth kissing it softly. Your face goes bright red.

“J-Ja…” He smirks softly, lips still close to your hand.

“You should travel with us. It’ll be much safer for you.” His eyes bore into yours and you tilt your head.

“Are you sure they won’t try to beat me up again?” He chuckles softly and shakes his head, moving his hand to cup your face, stroking his thumb on your cheek bone. 

“I won’t let anyone hurt you.” You smile without meaning too as he smiles back. “I... “ He sighs and moves to be sitting next to you on the bed “Beau” had shoved you on. “I shouldn’t have let you run away from me like that. Not before responding.” He takes his hands in his lap and fiddles with them, a habit he’s had since the academy. “You weren’t wrong. I loved Astrid.” You feel your heart drop, you knew. Everyone had, but to hear it out loud? It stung.

You nod as a response not meeting his eyes. In your peripherals you see him stop fiddling with his hands and one goes to reach for you but stops. 

“But, I don’t. Anymore. Astrid no longer holds my heart and I don’t think she can again. But… I couldn’t stop thinking of you, even before our last…” he trails off not finding the word. You nod. 

“Caleb,”

“Nein let me finish, please.” You stay silent as he continues. “I, I think I always loved you. But my infatuation with Astrid got in the way of me realizing it.” It’s your turn to fiddle with your hands as you stay quiet. “I, You should travel with us because… I… I will feel better knowing I can keep you safe.” You look at him and he’s looking at your hands before his eyes raise to look at you. “Please?” You focus on him, his face, for just a minute before you nod. He smiles and leans in to kiss your forehead. 

Leaning your head on his shoulder you sigh happily. “Caleb?” He hums in response. “I love you too.”

[roll4angst]

Resurfaced - Caleb

This is... far too angsty. I’m sorry. @fanfictionenthusiast You wandered the streets silently avoiding eye contact and pulling your hood further over your face. Slipping in between people you move across the city. You sigh as you move into a tavern and sit in a corner of the bar, attempting to blend with the shadows. You’re quietly sipping at your drink and listening to your surroundings. 

You bask in the quiet and really focus on the noises, seeing if anyone is having a conversation worth listening to. You’re listening to someone with a strange accent talk about some kind of… Candy? Maybe it was code for drugs you honestly couldn’t tell when a voice caused you to freeze. Shaking your head you go back to your drink and listening to anyone else but your focus goes back to his. But, there’s no way. He’s off with Astrid and Wulf doing Trents’ dirty work and- you stop your thoughts focusing on your drink and how bitter it is.

You close your eyes and breathe deeply. He can’t be here. You know telling yourself this won’t make it true so slowly you raise your head to look in the direction of the voice. You’re in shock. It has to be him. No one else can look that much like Bren. You hear someone call him Caleb and shake your head to yourself. Bren didn’t have a twin. Is he undercover? You’re thinking to yourself so much that you forget you’re staring at him until he makes eye contact with you. And those are definitely his eyes. You catch yourself still staring and move your eyes to stare at your drink. You can feel his eyes on you, studying you. You know the feeling all too well. 

You focus on finishing your drink before you put the cup and your payment down before turning to leave the tavern, you can feel his eyes on you but you didn't expect to run into him when you turned around. He whispered an apology in Zemnian which you quickly returned, eyes widening and cursing yourself for revealing it. You go to move past him when he whispers again in the same language.

“It’s been awhile.” He’s not holding you by any means but you can’t force yourself to move. You want to rebuttal, to scream but you just stand there, staring at the door. He’s not watching you, you can leave but, you can’t. You sigh and turn sitting back at your spot, waiting for him to join you. He sits quietly next to you and you stare into the empty cup that hasn’t been cleared yet. He sits silently as you stare at your cup, memorizing every single droplet. “How have you been?” You almost miss it. You laugh loudly then cut yourself off.

“Ive been.. Fine. I suppose.” You move the cup in your hands, not trusting to look at him. He fiddles with his bandages and nods. “So… Is Caleb an undercover name?” You say it quietly, even if he does work for Trent you don’t want to get him hurt or killed for blowing his cover. He tenses a moment, then shakes his head. 

“I uh… I no longer.. Um..” He fumbles over his words and you move your eyes to look at him. He looks up and meets your eyes. “I um, left. The academy.” Your eyes widen. 

“Bren…” He shakes his head.

“Please call me Caleb.” You nod softly. The name feeling weird. “We should.. Talk.” You nod again as he pushes himself off his chair and offers you a hand which you don’t take, still a little warry. He leads you to one of the rooms the tavern has available upstairs and opens the door. You go in and lean against a wall. He enters and shuts and locks the door behind him, still speaking zemnian though. “You ran away?” You nod, staring at the floor.

“You became a scruger.” You mumble it but the tone in your voice shakes Bre- Caleb. “You became someone to be feared.” You say it a little louder but not much.

“I did, but I left. He.. I can’t begin to describe what he did to us and… I couldn’t do it so I left. When I heard you were gone I got so scared that he did something to you as punishment for me leaving and I-”

“Caleb,” He stops and looks at you panic settling in his face. “The academy wasn’t worth it when everyday I was wondering where you were and how you were.” You mumble under your breathe and he raises a brow at you. “I didn’t like thinking that you were always with Astrid. How close you were getting by spending so much time together I mean, I was in love with you Bren!” Your voice had slowly gotten louder, not yelling but no longer whispering. “I still am. I don’t think I can ever stop you know? It’s like… the way you looked at Astrid.” You tear up a little at the nights you spent longing over him while he watched Astrid. “I knew it was the way I was looking at you and, and when you left I couldn’t take it. It was so… unhealthy how sad I was about it. So I left. I just left one night and they didn’t look for me I wasn’t important enough.” You sighed and looked up at him. He looked, shocked to say the least. You look back down at your feet. “Look, we can just. Forget this ever happened. We both got out. You’re safe, I don’t have to worry anymore.” You push yourself off the wall and start heading to the door ready to flee town and try not to think of Caleb ever again. 

You’re almost out the room when his hand is touching you. It falls off quickly but you stop turning to face him. 

“I… I don’t want to lose you again. I can’t lose you again. I’m not going to take you from your life but please… Just, keep in touch? Please?” You smile softly at him.

“Caleb, I don’t want to lose you either but we’re different people now, I… I can’t promise anything. But i’ll try. Okay?” He nods softly his hand now playing with yours. You smile again and cup his face. “Caleb?’ He looks at you, his eyes are soft and somewhat sad. You push forward and kiss his forehead. “I will always love you.” His eyes are shut and you detach from him and slip out the door and hurry yourself out of the tavern ignoring his friends eyes on you while you leave.

[roll4angst]

Ummm... Hiiiii I really love your stories.... Ummm... May i request a Caleb x Reader fanfic or headcanon wherein both of them knew each other during the academy but the reader disappeared after he was choosen to be trained as a Scourger... Then they saw each other again after being with the mighty nein... Im sorry of its a bit long but i want love the way you put your flare into these stories... So yeah ^^;

Currently working on it! You are so sweet!!!!

[roll4angst]

Or well nvm I can find jt on your blog, but it disappeared from the tags

Yeah I noticed the tags on it arent like. Coming up when searched but it’s still up 🥺 I’m sorry idk why tumblr hates it 🙃

[roll4angst]

Hidden Relationship with Essek

Aight. This boy is long. And kinda angsty but its happy I promise. @terrainhead gods I hope I wrote him well You stretched your arms after a minute or two of being awake. Your hand hit skin and you turned over smiling softly. Essek was still asleep. You softly ran your hands through his hair. He grumbled softly and rolled over so you faced his back.

“No i’m going back to sleep.” You pout at his back and turn crossing your arms backs now facing each other. The pout fades when an arm is wrapped around your waist and your pulled into a warm chest. Kisses are lightly placed on your neck and you sigh happily. The noises of the rest of nein getting ready to start their day. You sigh happily. Wait..

“Shit. SHIT Essek get up.” You whisper but enough to get his attention. He looks at you eyebrow raised. “Essek we fell asleep. The rest of the nein are getting up.” He closes his eyes like he’s going to back to sleep then his eyes shoot open.

“Oh fuck.” He hurries out of bed shoving you out in the process falling to the floor with a thud. A minute passes and his shirt is barely in his hand when the you hear the knock.

“Hey uh… We heard a thud. Are you okay?” You hear Yasha through your door. You and Essek look at each other in panic as you get up and run to the door opening it a little peeking your head out.

“Yeah I’m okay just uh… rolled out of bed… on accident. I’m fine. Thank you Yasha i’ll be down in a minute.” You shut the door when you see her head off towards the rest of the nein. You sigh and put your head in your hands. You feel soft hands on top of yours and move them off your face. 

“Hey… i’m sorry I shoved you off the bed.” You shake your head and move past him going to change into your everyday wear. You hear him sigh and continue to get himself dressed. After the basics of your outfit are on hands grab your waist and pull you into a now clothed body. “Do you need me to kiss where you fell?” You can feel him smirking as he rests his chin on your shoulder lightly kissing your neck and jaw. You sigh and move yourself out of his arms to sit on your bed.

“Essek, what if they had caught us?” You don’t make eye contact, your hands suddenly becoming the most interesting thing you’ve ever seen. 

“I wouldn’t have let them see me you know this I told you that-”

“What if I want them to catch us?” Essek stops and looks at you. You're shocked at yourself for finally saying it but still shocked. He sighs and starts to go on and you space out. Its a conversation you’ve had before. The den… The dynasty… Too many things in his opinion for you two to be together freely. You feel yourself getting emotional and fight the tears as you nod. “You’re right you’re right. Ignore me.” You smile softly and push yourself off your bed. You get to your bedroom door and open it ready to slip out but you turn to him. “You know your way out?”

He looks surprised. You almost always kissed him before he teleported away. Yet here you were openly bidding him goodbye. He took a step forward to get some sort of affection before he left but you smiled sadly and left the bedroom. He sighed and when you reopened the bedroom door a minute later he was gone. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had been off all day. Everyone in the nein knew yet none of them knew how to help. When asking what was wrong you shrugged it off. 

“Everyone has off days guys. I’m allowed.” You had said quietly and when you looked sad in that moment they decided dropping it for now would be ideal. At some point or another you had ended up on the rooftop with Caduceus. He was tending for the garden while you watched quietly. Occasionally he’d ask you about general, easy topics. He wasn’t pushing your dilemma. You listen as he rambles off another story about his siblings and you hum once and awhile so he knows you’re somewhat listening. You keep replaying your conversation with Essek that morning. 

You probably could’ve handled it better but also you had every right to be upset. You loved him. He knew that. This wasn’t just some… physical thing. You had real feelings for him and you couldn’t keep bottling them up. You don’t want to lose him but you couldn’t keep being this upset every time you had this conversation and then not talk to your friends about it. You decide that next time you see him, if you see him before the nein takes off again, you’re going to give him the choice. You really don’t want to give him the choice. He hasn’t chosen you yet and you highly doubt he will.

“You’re thinking too hard to be listening.” You shoot your head up to look at Caduceus who looks concerned and amused. 

“Sorry Cad, lost in thought today.” You smile softly and he nods going back to his story about his family and you intently listen this time. You hear the door to the garden open but don’t pay much attention, focusing on Caduceus and his story. He however looks up, looks back and you and stands. 

“I should uh… Go make tea. I’ll be back.” Confused your eyes follow him as he leaves only to land on Essek standing in the doorway. You sigh and go back to staring at the plants, you feel like sit cross legged near you and you continue focusing on the plants. You knew you had to give him this choice but you didn’t think it would be this soon. You sigh and look up at him. His eyes are soft and there’s an emotion in them you’ve never seen. He moves a hand like he’s going to touch you but stops himself eyes darting between you and his hand before moving it back down. Your eyes move away from him at this. You already knew the choice he was going to make. You just wish it wouldn’t hurt as much. 

“I uh… I should’ve have asked. Before just coming over.” You smile softly.

“That’s never stopped you before.” Your eyes focus on the plants swaying slightly in the breeze. You hear him sigh again. 

“Look, we should really discuss-”

“I was out of place Essek.” His face changes with the tone of your voice. “I know why you want us a secret. I understand and I respect that. But… But i cant keep doing this. I can’t keep beating myself up because you’re not allowed to love me. I love you. I love you so so much and I just can’t do this to myself anymore Essek.” Your eyes move to your hands which you fiddle with. You want to look at him. You owe him that much but you can’t. You see his hand cup your cheek and move so you look at him. You made a point to not cry about the secrecy of the relationship in front of him but here you are, tears slipping out against your will. His thumb wiped one away before continuing to stroke your cheek bone. 

“(y/n), my love. I love you. You know that right?” You nod softly, seeing where this was going you attempt to blink back the rest of the tears. “You know that regardless of my den… my status.. Any of that I love you with every life I have?” You nod again unable to meet his eyes. “You know that… I. I told my den. That I was in love with you?” You go to nod but stop eyes meeting his as he smiles at you softly.

“What?” If you hadn’t been the one to say it you wouldn’t have knows the words slipped out of your mouth. He kissed a tear that slipped out of your eye. He continued kissing all over your face placing his forehead against yours before he kissed your lips. 

“I love you.” He pulls back to look into your eyes. “I love you so much.” You put your hands on his face and stare into his eyes. 

“Can I… Can I kiss you in front of people?” Your eyes are wide as he smiles at you fondly.

“If you’ll have me tonight I won’t have to shove you out of bed, your friends can see us.” You feel yourself tearing up again as he wipes the tears again. “Are you still that upset about me shoving you out of the bed?” You giggle and shove him lightly his hands stay glued to your face as he moves back to you. “I’m going to kiss you now, is that alright?” You nod and move forward smiling into the kiss.

[roll4angst]

11 with Essek?

Oh gosh okay I’m gonna write this. I’m gonna do it. I really hope I write him well 🥺

[roll4angst]

Roommates to More Fjord

@ladymogar 14 with our favorite green boy  You couldn’t pinpoint it if you were asked. You didn’t just wake up one day and realize you were in love with him. It just sort of… happened. 

Moving in with The Mighty Nein was easily one of the best decisions you had ever made. Having your room be right next to Fjords, was something else. He was the first person you saw in the morning seeing as you both woke up around the same time, and he was the last person you saw before letting yourself sleep. Him shooting you a soft smile before he walks into his room. 

You hit your bed with a sigh and the ache from the battles of the day finally settle into your body, adrenaline wearing off. Without moving your covers to actually cover you you curl up and just lay there, thinking. Fjord had seemed bothered during the day but when brought up he brushed it off with a comment that he couldn’t sleep the night before. You roll onto your back and stare at the ceiling. You close your eyes and prepare to let sleep take you for the night. 

You feel yourself drifting off when you hear it. The opening and closing of a door followed by footsteps. You sit up and move to your door peeking out you see Fjord closing the door to the roof. You stand there for a moment, door not even fully open wondering if you should follow him. He could be sneaking out, to no success because of Caleb's protection of the house but still. You sigh and open your door, following the half orc to the rooftop. You quietly open the door and quickly shut it behind you. Not wanting to startle Fjord but also not wanting to immediately alert him of your presence. 

He was sitting, cross legged, near the shrine to the Wildmother. You watch him for a moment before sitting near him, glancing around the garden Caduceus had been growing, eyes finally landing on the stars. You sigh quietly and hear Fjord breath heavily, 

“I don’t know which one of you it is but I know you’re sitting there.” You smile softly as you move to stand moving toward the edge of the roof to watch the city at what you assumed was night. After a few minutes you heard shuffling behind you and saw Fjord sitting next to you. “Fancy seeing you here.” He says with a soft smile bumping your shoulder with his. You roll your eyes and bump him back lightly.

“Everything okay?” You look over at him softly and his gaze moves from you to the ground. You look back out over the city basking in the silence for a moment. “You don’t have to tell me, I don’t want to push.”

“You’re not pushing, it's just, hard to find the words.” You nod at this and continue to sit in silence with him. The stars are bright in contrast to the always dark sky and you study them to avoid his eyes and pestering him about his problems. “I uh.. Had a dream.” You look over and his gaze is still stuck on the ground. You stay quiet but keep your attention on him, a sign he should continue. “I was.. I wasn’t swimming but I wasn't drowning? I was in the ocean and I couldn’t figure out how I had gotten there or where I was and I could hear Ukatoa, taunting me. He, he had you. All of you and I just panicked. I woke up and I couldn’t figure out if it was sweat or sea water or both so I came up here and I just… I meditated. For a minute. Then… Then you sat down and everything got even calmer and I just felt better and now. Now…” He trails off eyes finally glancing up at you. You smile softly.

“I’m right here and I guarantee the rest of them are all passed out inside.” He nods and looks down again. You gaze back out at the stars. “You did great today by the way. Probably saved my life without me knowing it.” You continue staring out. “Though… Caleb needed the protection more.” He chuckled under his breath and sighs.

“Well. I can’t help you’re where my focus is.” You look over at him and his eyes are wide like he can’t believe what he just said. He’s still staring at the ground. You keep your eyes on him waiting for him to say something else, but he doesn’t. He just stares at the ground and avoids your gaze. Sighing softly you go to stand. 

“I’m gonna get some sleep. You should too okay?” He nods still staring at the ground now fiddling with his fingers face looking sad or confused.. You can’t place it. You smile sadly and head to the door. “Fjord?” You call out to him with the door back inside half open. He doesn’t respond. You sigh and head inside heading back to your room. When you hear the rush of air and a hand holding your wrist tugging on you lightly.

“Why… why do you sound sad. You didn’t just accidentally confess your feelings to… You didn’t… Why are you upset?” You look at him for a moment.

“Fjord. I can’t even begin to tell you when I realized I was in love with you.” His hand falls from your wrist. “I guess I just thought if one of us was going to say something we wouldn’t look like we regretted it right after.” He starts to shake his head but your hand on his cheek stops him. His eyes meet yours and you just take in his full attention for the moment. 

“If I uh.. Kissed you. Would that be okay or.. Because I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or..” You laugh softly at his rambling before rubbing your thumb on his cheek bone. 

“If you want to kiss me you can.” You speak softly. Worried it’s a dream and if you’re too loud you’ll wake up. He puts both of his hands softly on his waist and you wonder if he fears the same thing. You look at him as his eyes close and he takes a deep breath and moves closer to you. You shut your eyes and let your lips meet his. 

Its soft. If you didn’t know any better you’d say you weren’t even kissing. You move the hand on his cheek to the back of his head and pull him into a harder kiss, which he reciprocates immediately. When you pull away his eyes are still closed as he puts his forehead on yours. 

“Just… tell me this isnt a dream?” You smile and pull back and he slowly opens his eyes to look at you. You pull your head back and flick him in the forehead. His eyes widen for a second before you start giggling at him. He smirks softy and pulling you closer again, scanning your eyes before kissing you again.

[roll4angst]

14 with our favorite warlock Boi? 👀 (also hi it’s a-menagerie I cant wait to stalk your blog 💕💕

This may or may not be over two pages of google doc but after last nights episode I am IN MY FJORD FEELS ill tag you in the post <3