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System: "Would you like to resume the main storyline?" You click ‘No.’ They click ‘Yes.’

♡ Yandere! Otome Isekai x Fem. Reader. Unreliable Narrator, Plot Armor, SYSTEM, Administrator

♡ Headcanons. How to Survive a Reverse Harem (You Don’t) - Part 2

♡ Word Count. 1,347

♡ Yandere! Unreliable Narrator who's been with you since the start. Who witnessed your every mistake, every blunder, every last pathetic attempt to speedrun your way to survival. Who narrated your journey with the reliability of a weather forecast in a hurricane. Who never forgave you for skipping his dialogue.

♡ Yandere! Plot Armor who made sure you never died. Who watched, unimpressed, as you jumped off a cliff to see if fall damage existed. Who sighed when you tried to punch a monster thirty levels above yours just to "test the AI." Who kept you alive despite your best efforts because you were his one and only protagonist.

♡ Yandere! SYSTEM who ran every calculation, simulated every probability, and still couldn't understand how you managed to break every intended route. Who kept feeding you optimized strategies, only to watch you brute-force your way through with sheer stubbornness and malice. Who once wrote a five-thousand-word essay in your notifications about why your decision-making process was a statistical anomaly.

♡ Yandere! Administrator who had front-row seats to the catastrophe you called gameplay. Who thought it was hilarious, actually. Who enabled half your bad decisions just to see what would happen. Who was supposed to be impartial, but—fuck it—if you weren’t the most entertaining thing to ever happen to this universe, then what was the point of omnipotence?

────────────

You did it.

You finally, finally did it.

The perfect escape. The greatest heist. The ultimate cheat code. The galaxy-brained, top-tier maneuver that no one in their right mind would ever expect. You—legendary sufferer of yandere bullshit, unwilling protagonist of some twisted, high-stakes otome game death trap, and certified victim of plot—have finally broken free.

You turned your back on the Main Storyline™, sidestepped the red flags, outran the obsession, and faceplanted straight into your happily-ever-after.

A peaceful, idyllic, farming simulator.

Yes, that’s right. You didn’t choose a badass mercenary life. You didn’t start a revolution. You didn’t become an all-powerful ruler. You, a genius gamer, an intellectual titan, an escape artist of the highest caliber—decided to become a farmer.

Because screw everything else. You’re done.

So here you are, with dirt under your fingernails, a half-plowed field, and a cozy little cottage in the middle of nowhere. Your new daily routine consists of watering crops, feeding chickens, and aggressively ignoring the fact that you used to be entangled in a never-ending web of obsession, murder attempts, and disturbingly attractive psychopaths.

No more romance routes. No more assassination attempts disguised as heartfelt confessions. No more bloodstained love letters nailed to your door with throwing knives. No more waking up to find someone in your bed, whispering about how they'd kill the whole world just for you.

You were finally living your best life, tending to pixelated turnips in a peaceful farming simulator. You had a small cottage, a cat and dog (whose AI were questionably programmed, but whatever), and a simple, menial daily routine. You mined. You farmed. You fished. You avoided talking to NPCs because social interaction was optional, even in a game.

You wake up, stretch, and enjoy the sweet, undisturbed silence.

Just you, your crops, and the overwhelming peace of absolute freedom.

You were thriving.

Until the pop-ups started.

────────────

First, it’s just a little notification in the corner of your vision, flickering like a dying lightbulb.

[SYSTEM MESSAGE] Are you seriously playing a farming simulator right now?

You squint at it. Then, you do what any sane person would do. You ignore it.

But then another one pops up.

[SYSTEM MESSAGE] LMAO. No way. No way.

And another.

[SYSTEM MESSAGE] Are you actually serious right now??

Your eye twitches. This... feels familiar.

Then the flood begins.

[UNRELIABLE NARRATOR] …This has to be a joke.

[PLOT ARMOR] She really just dipped.

[SYSTEM] After everything.

[ADMINISTRATOR] PFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—

You inhale. Slowly. Calmly.

You knew something was off. You knew it was too good to be true.

Of course, you were never alone.

Because somewhere along the way, through all the timelines, resets, and sheer unholy amounts of yandere insanity—these four absolute menaces have been tagging along in the background, like some kind of deranged celestial peanut gallery.

And now, they are pissed.

Your tranquil, hardworking, stress-free farming life? Ruined.

[UNRELIABLE NARRATOR] You’re actually so boring.

[PLOT ARMOR] I feel betrayed.

[SYSTEM] She hasn’t even killed anyone in months.

[ADMINISTRATOR] BRO I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING SHE’S LIVING LIKE A DAMN NPC.

———

[SYSTEM MESSAGE] Are you serious right now?

[SYSTEM MESSAGE] You're farming? FARMING?

[SYSTEM MESSAGE] You are a MAX-LEVEL PLAYER with INSANE STATS and a KILL COUNT in the THOUSANDS. And you’re growing carrots? What is wrong with you?

You closed the notification.

Another one replaced it instantly.

[UNRELIABLE NARRATOR] (scoffs) You always were a disappointment.

You closed it.

Another popped up.

[PLOT ARMOR] How do you expect us to protect you if you’re literally sitting in the open, planting cabbages?

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

[ADMINISTRATOR] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You slammed the notification window shut and went back to watering your crops, pretending they weren’t watching.

(They were watching. They were always watching.)

“Hey.”

No.

“Hey, hey, hey.”

No.

“You know you can’t just ignore us, right?”

Watch me.

A glowing blue chatbox materialized in the sky above your farmhouse. You didn’t look up.

[ADMINISTRATOR] What are you doing, babe? What is this? Is this a bit?

[UNRELIABLE NARRATOR] The tragic tale of an incompetent protagonist who abandoned her true potential to rot in obscurity.

[PLOT ARMOR] Even if someone tries to kill you, I won’t let them. But I want you to know that I should.

[SYSTEM] Statistically speaking, this is the worst possible use of your abilities.

You harvested a parsnip.

“ANSWER US.”

The entire screen shook.

[SYSTEM] (force restart imminent)

You bolted upright. “You WOULDN’T.”

[ADMINISTRATOR] Try me.

Fucking hell. You clenched your jaw and stared at the chat window. “What do you want?”

The messages poured in at once:

[UNRELIABLE NARRATOR] Oh, she speaks.

[PLOT ARMOR] What do we want? What do we want? Bitch, we want content.

[SYSTEM] The viewership has dropped to 0%.

[ADMINISTRATOR] No one wants to watch some loser farm turnips, sweetheart.

Your eye twitched. “Who the hell asked you to watch?”

[SYSTEM] You have been our sole point of interest for the last [ERROR: TIME INFINITE] cycles.

[ADMINISTRATOR] We are literally omnipresent. There is nothing else TO watch.

“Sounds like a you problem,” you muttered, kicking at a dirt patch. “Not my fault you’ve got nothing better to do.”

[PLOT ARMOR] You know what? You’re right. Let’s fix that.

“Wait, wha—”

Lightning struck the middle of your farm, leaving a perfectly charred crater where your crops used to be.

You stared at it. Then at the sky. Then back at the crater.

[ADMINISTRATOR] Oops.

You dropped your watering can. “I am going to commit a war crime.”

[UNRELIABLE NARRATOR] Bold words for someone with a hoe and a dream.

You inhaled sharply. Counted to ten. Exhaled.

It was fine. It was okay. You were calm. You weren’t going to let four omnipotent assholes ruin your peaceful retirement. You were better than this.

[PLOT ARMOR] Oh, don’t worry. We’ve already submitted a ticket to fix that little “retirement” issue of yours.

A new window popped up.

[NEW QUEST: GET BACK TO WORK]

Objective: Stop being a little bitch and play the game properly. Reward: Your farm. Maybe.

You gripped the sides of your head. “I fucking hate all of you.”

[ADMINISTRATOR] Love you too, babe.

You close your eyes and count to ten.

You exorcised yanderes. You evaded certain death. You rewrote your fate.

You will not be gaslit by a bunch of omniscient, overpowered freaks.

Deep breath. Steady mind. You ignore them.

And for a moment, it seems to work.

You turn back to your field, determined to resume your farming peace.

Then, all at once—

[PLOT ARMOR] has enabled: RANDOM ENEMY ENCOUNTER.]

[SYSTEM] has initiated: MANDATORY COMBAT SEQUENCE.]

[UNRELIABLE NARRATOR] has activated: UNAVOIDABLE PLOT DEVELOPMENT.]

[ADMINISTRATOR] has triggered: ??? (he thinks it’s funny)]

You freeze.

Your farm explodes.

♡ Previous Part. I hate it here.

Yandere! Otome Game

♡ Characters Included. Yandere! Crown Prince, Archduke, Supreme Mage, Demon King, War Hero, Master Thief, Enemy Spy, Demon Assassin

Drabbles

How do you escape a yandere harem? Asking for a very distressed friend (me).

How to Turn ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ Into a Very Literal Situation.

"Romance is a garbage genre, but if I have to play, I might as well do it on easy mode."

The love interests were bad. The backup plans are worse.

One of them wants to marry you. The other wants to make sure he never does.

Headcanons 1 : How to Survive a Reverse Harem (You Don’t) (General)

I hate it here.

If you want to be added or removed from the tag list, just comment on the MASTERLIST of Whispers in the Dark (WITD): Subtle Devotion, Lingering Shadows. Thank you.

General TAG LIST of “Whispers In The Dark”: @keisocool , @elvabeth , @elloredef , @mjsjshhd , @lem-hhn , @yuki-istired , @lilyalone , @starryperson , @yandreams-storageblog , @tiffyisme3760 , @songbirdgardensworld , @yune1337 , @mocalocha

❤︎ Fang Dokja's Books.

♡ Book 1. A Heart Devoured (AHD): A Dark Yandere Anthology ♡ Book 2. Forbidden Fruits (FF): Intimate Obsessions, Unhinged Desires. ♡ Book 3. World Ablaze (WA) : For You, I'd Burn the World. ♡ Book 4 [you are here]. Whispers in the Dark (WITD): Subtle Devotion, Lingering Shadows. ♡ Book 5. Ink & Insight (I&I): From Dead Dove to Daydreams.

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