rowancrowe-blog

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It wasn’t unusual for Rowan to skip on a party-- Despite having a knack for drinking, it simply consisted on drinking in her own room, getting sleepy and calling it a day. Maybe she was miserable like that, and what about it.  The look on his face had her wondering exactly what was about to expelled past his lips. Whatever it was, she wasn’t exactly expecting that. “Hm.” she hum after a beat of silence, “yeah, that’s exactly why I skipped it, I knew the planners didn’t know the definition of real fun.” The words said almost as serious as his, an expert on playing along. 

              ❝ You know , I’m UPSET. ❞ Cyrus states out of nowhere , setting his pencil down on the table and looking towards the other. ❝ That was the most boring party I’ve ever been to. Deadass. ❞ He doesn’t actually think so , but let him finish his BIZARRE statement. The look in his eyes signals only hell is sitting on the tip of his tongue. ❝ Like , YEAH I had a great time with who I went with n’ all - but like , every party I’ve been to has had a SEANCE or a DEMON SUMMONING or some shit. And not this one ?? Come on !! That shit sucks. I’m so disappointed. ❞ It’s a joke , of course , but the worst part is that he sounds entirely serious.

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“kinda wanna throw this at the person that made it. this isn’t my order, but whoever’s order it is, would probably be really pissed or has no taste buds cause… this is nasty. if i’m gonna spend an arm and a leg for a route 44 of something, i’m at least gonna make sure it’s something i like,” she said, setting the cup down. “all i got was a mouth full of chocolate sauce. who the hell puts chocolate sauce in their pop?”

“I got with... no taste buds. the employee was probably as weirded out.” she shrugged, before frowning at what actually the other girl had tasted. “clearly someone who wants to die of sugar rush.” rowan liked sweet things, but even that was too much. “can you go change it backso they give you the actual order?”

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“uh. nu-huh.” rowan shook her head with a short chuckle. “you really expect me to try something after you just said disgusting?”

“ugh,” she grimaced. “this is disgusting. taste it,” she said, holding a sonic cup out to the other.

@rowancrowe

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text — levi p

levi: there's no better use of money than drugs and alcohol rowan please

levi: eh it's fine

levi: if someone wants to kill me they'll do it anyway

levi: and i have enough alcohol for the rest of the night dw

rowan: okay you got me there sort of

rowan: i'll keep you company over the phone

rowan: but if you're starting to pass out or something at least give me a heads up so i know you didn't actually die?

[rowancrowe-blog]

The Perfect Date (2019) Directed by Chris Nelson

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text — levi p

levi: thanks im an optimist

levi: i wish they werent this sucks

levi: i dont want psychos to be getting money from my friends over some bizarre threat

levi: and they keep redonating it??? its fucked

levi: no

levi: but its cool im not rly feeling the party mood fr some reason

rowan: i'm pretty sure it would've gone to drugs and alcohol either way

rowan: at least is being used for a better reason now

rowan: even if it shouldn't be happening in the first place, yes

rowan: so you're all alone? i don't think thats a good idea...

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text — levi p

levi: some girl just came up to me and gave me ten dollars w a pat on the shoulder i

levi: im drunk bt clearly some are drunker

levi: obviously i took them if i dont die ill be ten dollars less broke! silver lining tbh

rowan: good to know you're looking at the glass half full

rowan: levi you won't die jesus

rowan: there's people donating

rowan: i am

rowan: is someone with you?

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her advice to get it off his mind had him snorting, but it was mostly in amusement, still grateful she was actually trying even when the situation was so ridiculous it seemed impossible to do anything about it. “thanks — just tell me if i’m filling them with too much angst and i’ll zip it,” he said with a nod, mimicking the zip over his lips with a hesitant smile. “i don’t know, i really hope it won’t be addy, she’s nice and she’s… she’s always staying out of drama, i don’t see why she’s even on there,” he shrugged, a helpless sigh falling off his lips. he didn’t know dante that much either, but he couldn’t bring himself to find comfort in someone else winning, not even if it was for his own sake. he’d voted for himself the first time, when tati had been up, without knowing what it was for, an instinct to offer himself up for punishments ingrained in him since childhood. now that he knew what the stakes were, he was more dubious about the self sacrifice, death always terrifying, but he still leaned towards it when he thought of anyone else having to suffer again, when he could just take it himself and be done with it. “i think it’s the not knowing that’s hard to bear, you know, just… the waiting,” he nodded, circling the rim of his beer with his thumb. “and there’s this — like, you know when you say you don’t wanna do anything for your birthday and then someone takes it literally and doesn’t even text and you’re like, mad, but unfairly so? that kinda feeling, like — i don’t want pity, and i know i’ve, uh. burnt some bridges lately, but it still feels nice when someone shows up to make sure i haven’t died, you know,” he said, eyes on the drops of condensation going down the bottle. “did you vote? i’ve always wondered what happens if someone tried not to vote, but it would require not using my phone for like, a day or two, and i’ve never had it in me to do that.”

��it’s okay, levi. there’s nothing as too much angst in this kind of situations.” rowan added, and if there was, she frankly didn’t know. there wasn’t really a right way to react, was there? “whoever is doing this is just choosing them at random, it seems. i don’t think they actually make an strategic background check on who to pick.” it would be too much time an effort for someone. rowan wondered if whoever was doing it had such a sad life that they’d take all of this time and effort to affect other’s. fingers lightly tapping on the rough and wooden surface of the table, the chattering in the background not going amiss, but not being loud enough as to not being able to hear him. head tilting with a short nod to what he mean, lips going to the brim of her glass for the first time that night to sip on the sweet beverage she’d chosen. “no one else has reached out?” rowan asked with an arch of her eyebrow. she found that to be odd, and while she wasn’t aware exactly on what levi had done to consider like he’d burn some bridges, she still thought he was nice as to not have people checking on him. rowan figured it should’ve made people forget differences and care about their well beings, but maybe she was wrong. at this pondering, rowan couldn’t help but release a short laugh, one that probably shouldn’t taken place in a situation like this, but she brought out her phone and set it on the table. the screen frozen in place as the app remained there. “i refuse to take part on that. it’s been frozen since the voting took place, and it’s always that way since it started.” a shrugh soon followed. “it’s not like i really do use my phone either way. kind of gets annoying that spotify is a big no but-- i guess that’s what laptops are for in the end.” 

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people either liked to tell him he was one of a kind or they considered him shallow and clueless about how the world worked, and he was fine with both of those responses, as he had learned they defined exactly what kind of people they were used to have around. “no problem,” cas responded and gave her an encouraging smile as he intentively watched her put the page away, this slight and seemingly innocent action made him assume she wasn’t one to like showing her art to others. “you should definitely keep on doing it,” he responded and let another smile slip, relating to her words quite a bit. except for him it was the thing that made him like it so much. messy was something that described him as well. “painting has to be a little messy. i don’t think i’ve ever walked out of a class without finding out that i still have some paint on me somewhere,” he explained. “and oh yes, i do… i do a lot, i do almost everything. visual arts. but painting has to be my favourite.”

rowan looked back at him a she spoke. words so encouraging that it made her smile. the kind of smile that felt more natural intead of the rehearsed ones she usually shared to the majority. she wondered if he’d be saying the same if he knew why she really did it. either way, she gave a slight nod, a slight teasing tone in her words. “maybe i will.” because she would, she didn’t see a moment she’d stop. since starting she never had, instead the projected art simply evolved with the years. “let me guess. ruined a lot of good shirts?” rowan asked with a tilt of her head. “so you’re an art major.” it was more of an observation than a question. she could be mistaken, after all-- she had taken architecture instead. “what do you like painting about?” 

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           When she asked what really plagued his mind , he almost felt EMBARRASSED.Foolish , even , for letting his mind go back to her even when she wasn’t relevant. It made him feel like a lost puppy , not knowing exactly where to go except to look for her – but it’d only lead him to her grave , replacing the flowers and speaking a few words he’d onlywonder if they’d reach her. Or , if she listened from the afterlife enough to care. ❝ I just keep going back to the first victim of all this bullshit. ❞ Dakota breathed out , never one to lie as he took another drag of his cigarette. ❝ I knew her pretty well. – Or , maybe not that well – don’t think anyone here can say that anymore. But … ❞ He sighed. ❝ Just jumpin’ immediately to thinking about her feels kind of pathetic. But it’s hard NOT to do it. ❞

“Tatiana.” Rowan confirmed with a short nod. She hadn’t known her that well, but she figured there was something about her that simply brought people in, like moths to flames. Hell, maybe that’s why her own significant other cheated on her with the same girl in question. Maybe she would’ve been brought in too if she wasn’t so busy shutting most of those who got near proximity out. There was some bitterness that came with the name, one that Rowan couldn’t exactly push away, even if she knew it hadn’t solely been the other’s fault. “I wouldn’t call it pathetic.” A slow shrug of her shoulders as she disagreed. “You were close to her. I think it’s pretty normal to go back to what youre used to. Or at least want to.”

[rowancrowe-blog]

starter call !!

give me a  👻 for a starter from rowan (who stayed back at campus because she’s no fun) or if you want willow throw me a  💩

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the sight of a new drink almost had him smiling, his glass having been empty for far too long given the circumstances. he’d been drunk and sobered up already in the many hours he’d spent at the pub, and he intended to repeat the cycle for as long as his body allowed him to. “feels like it’s gone on for weeks now, definitely doesn’t make it scarier,” he said, a deadpan clear in his tone as he sighed, taking a swig from the beer. company was welcomed, even if he wasn’t sure he could manage much small talk right now, but rowan never pushed him for it, so maybe she was just the perfect person for this moment. “thanks. the — you know, the whole bella thing left me spooked, i think,” he shrugged, sniffling slighty as he leaned back on the booth. “i always thought it’d be different if i ended up there, you know, that there wouldn’t be anyone as familiar as addy on it with me — i kinda hoped it wouldn’t come right in the middle of my life already being such a mess, you know, but — whatever. it’s whatever. thanks, though, for coming over here. feel like i’ve mostly been getting avoided, i see why now. cannot stop ranting,” he said, a half smile as he looked back at her.

rowan couldn’t even begin to think what it was like having your name up to have your fate decided by the rest of the student body. the not knowing would definitely be excruciatingly painful. wondering if it’d be a secret or straight for the kill. realistically, she didn’t even know what she’d be exposed for if the time even came-- she wondered if she was well under the radar for her to even be there. it wasn’t like she was important. still she felt powerless, not being able to protect her friends. first indira-- now levi. “just try not to think on it, it’ll be over before you notice.” that was as much as any advice she could offer. rowan listened to anything he had to say, because that was the best she could do at any given moment. always being there to listen, perhaps she didn’t know how to do the whole word comforting thing-- but she mastered on not judging. “hey, you put up with my silence while you fill up the blanks. that’s how we work.” she offered with a light tone, offering back a gentle smile. “i don’t personally know her, but who’s to say it won’t be her? or i heard this other guy is basically asking for the votes.” something odd for rowan but she guessed everyone coped with it in their own way.  

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andré realised belatedly that the girl had earphones in and probably wasn’t listening to a single thing that was happening. it was a relief, but also made him feel bad for drawing her attention away. “oh shit- sorry. god. i didn’t mean to interrupt you. i didn’t see the headphones.” andré winced, pulling a face at himself for being so clueless. he glanced back at his now dark laptop screen, and nodded. “yeah… i don’t think he’s excited for the SCHOOL aspect of it all, though.” he admitted. “are you studying? i feel really bad for interrupting you. i hope it wasn’t like… someINTENSE mathematics or science formula.”

rowan gave him a smile, one that said it was okay and that he shouldn’t worry. “downside of these things-- AirPods. get lost between all the hair, i’m starting to think it’s better to switch back to the regular ones.” they’d at least keep her phone SAFE from meeting an unofortunate fate to the ground. though it wasn’t like she it a lot to begin with, sometimes it was like she even forgot it existed. “oh, let me guess. cute people, gossip and parties 24/7? everything but the actual STUDYING part?” a tilt of her head as she guessed. “don’t worry i left those FUN BITS for later.” a slight joke in between her words, because truth be told she knew she wouldn’t even finish doing anything like that. “i’m just looking around this whole trip to Amsterdam. are you coming?” 

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hadn’t the page fallen in a way that picking it up castiel couldn’t not see what was on it, maybe the encounter would have been way shorter. but as castiel was making his way to his car, appearing quite chipper and whistling a tone, his eyes quickly caught onto the female appearing to go after a piece of paper that was flowing in the wind right towards him. “oh, hey!” he greeted back, wanting to be polite as always and squatting down to pick the paper up, when his eyes noticed the lines and the whole drawing. it seemed no wonder why the girl was desperately chasing it now, it looked impressive. but he didn’t want to seem rude, staring at it. “of course,” he handed it over to her, giving her a smile. “it’s very beautiful. is it a hobby of yours?”

as she was closer to him and stopped, her eyes carefully followed his movements. silently wishing he was one of those careless students that only went on about their days, right now was the right time for him to be one of those-- but alas, he wasn’t. a silent sigh as he stopped to look at the surface of the sheet, she was at least grateful he didn’t just stand there staring at it. she carefully took it from him and offered a quick thankful smile. “thanks.” more at his action than at his compliment. perhaps any other person would’ve beamed at it-- but rowan had vowed to never let those drawings being seen by anyone else but her. a quick look down at the gray lines that adorned the white surface, mostly to see which one it was the one that had slipped away from the stack of papers she was putting in her bag. “uh, you could say so, yeah.” at this point it was more a release than an actual hobby, rowan wondered constantly if she had ruined it for herself. “i used to paint but i found it to be too--” colorful. happy. not as reflecting of how she really felt. “messy.” she finished with a smile, meeting his eyes as she finished putting the paper away. “do you also draw?”

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 Another drag of the cigarette was given as he carefully pondered the response. Instead of Arabella , his head shifted to Tatiana. Hesitance was caused by his own thought -did he know her ?? There was so much apparently he didn’t know about her - the secrets she kept , everything she so meticulously hid from her loved ones. He wanted to believe he knew her well ; as much as he wanted to believe she thought of him as highly as he did her. - But then , he remembered the girl of the subject was different. Did he know Arabella. ❝ Not that well , no. ❞ He shook his head , finding that easier to reply to. ❝ But she’s nice. Everyone who knows her talks about how nice she is. ❞

Rowan could tell the simple question had send him somewhere else that wasn’t there. Not that bench, not in front of the mural, and definitely not next to her. She wondered if even to the girl in question. “She is.” she concluded with a gentle shrug of her shoulders. “I don’t know her that well either, but even then, I know she is.” The kind of niceness people seemed to lack in general. The kind of niceness that was much needed. “I don’t mean to pry-- But what are you really thinking?” she asked before elaborating, “you looked like your mind went somewhere else entirely just earlier.”

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he’d almost been on a daze when she saw him, and she couldn’t even play fool as to why. rowan felt bad for him, the fact he’d been thrown into that chaos. hell, she felt bad for anyone getting involved in that voting, but like almost any other emotion, she didn’t outright express it. mostly keeping her thoughts to herself. “sorry.” she said with a slight grimace as she slid in the booth besides him and placed the beer in front of him, taking a sip of her own drink. mostly to make him company with the drinking since she knew she’d probably have to be the sober one. she wouldn’t blame him if he got absolutely wasted. that’s what she was there for anyway.“it hasn’t.” gaze going up figuring if she should even attempt to say something to make him feel better. “hey, you won’t die. okay?” words barely promising, only based on hope and maybe a bit of logic. besides tatiana no one had been killed from the voting-- she could only hope it stayed that way.   

sat on the booth at the very back of the pub, levi wasn’t sure when exactly he’d made his way here, but it had been at least more then thirty six hours since he’d left his room, an instinct to flee overcoming him the second he’d seen his name on the vote. people were growing used to it, he could tell, pressing a name at random and moving on, and it made sense. what else could anyone do, when it seemed to keep happening and getting worse no matter what anyone tried? but he couldn’t help being slightly scared, the mix of natural fear and his constant state of being on edge making him jump the second he felt someone nearing him. “jesus, announce yourself — some of us are on a death roll here,” he said, blinking at the familiar face. “did it end? i left my phone in the washroom, i couldn’t stand it.”

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Rowan looked up from her own laptop screen, confused for a moment, before she gently smiled and liftted her hand in a single wave at the boy on the screen. The rest of the words muffled by the soft tune coming from the earphones attached to her ears. It wasn’t until she noticed him turning to her, laptop closed, that she pulled them off and closed her own. “Don’t worry,” she shook her head slightly, “wow, he sounds like one of a kind, probably the only kid i’ve heard that seems excited for school.”

“i’m not gonna say that- drew-” andré had his laptop close to him, shaking his head and sighing, as a younger boy’s laughter could be heard coming from it. facetiming with his brother ALWAYS meant trouble of some kind. it was andré’s fault for doing this in a public forum. he KNEW what drew was like. with another sigh, andré turned to the person behind him. “my brother wants me to let you know that he thinks you’re cute.” he said, before looking back at his laptop, where a goofy faced younger boy was grinning all too widely. “he’s also FOURTEEN and should be studying.” andré added loudly, causing his brother to frown and roll his eyes, cussing, before disconnecting the call finally. andré stifled a small laugh, before looking back at the person he’d bothered. “sorry about that. the idea of college always excites him.”