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My friend's playlist

My friend’s playlist

My friends playlist My friend has a playlist in Spotify titled ‘I have come a long way just to stand there and not tell you how I feel’. It is filled with songs written and sung beautifully expressing how they feel about someone and not be able to say. The songs were beautiful but when I started listening to them I could never relate for a long time. I don’t remember the day, but there was this…

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Schitt's Creek

Schitt’s Creek

The show you didn’t know you needed As usual, I don’t have words when I need them. I want to express all that this series has made me feel. But I’m not able to, but I’ll take the liberty and courage to write something with my sloppy ability to express things.I’m told often that movies are just stories, it’s not ideal enough to go beyond and romanticize what you see. Leaving it at something that…

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Surrender in the name of 'Peace'

Surrender in the name of ‘Peace’

Observation on how peace is used as form of oppression

A young lady confronting the police during the protest of BLM for George Floyd.

When someone starts protesting the perpetrator of oppression always tries to suppress the motive of the collective resistance. They use police to “bring peace” they announce “everyone to be calm” One might have seen this everywhere, university protests,…

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Ignored Dignities

Sonu Sood biding farewel to the migrants

I am sure everyone has come to this realisation that, when an actor can single handedly act as an helpline with his phone, using his resources he is able to send those humans home safely. His replies to the people were never vague or ambiguous but it was a manifestation of hope that people wanted to be fulfilled, where unfortunately our governments…

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Surrender in the name of 'Peace'

Surrender in the name of ‘Peace’

Image from a BLM protest on George Flyods death

Surrender in the name of ‘Peace’

(Observation on how peace is used as form of oppression)

When someone starts protesting the perpetrator of oppression always tries to suppress the motive of the collective resistance. They use police to “bring peace” they announce “everyone to be calm” One might have seen this everywhere, university protests,…

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Hello from Hello Point

For some signal to make a call we have to walk/travel 5kms to the nearest ‘Hello Point'(network zone) in Gopalpur. This is just a one and half month old luxury of having a hello point in 5km from Kumudabahal my office. Before that Thuamul Rampur was the only point people relied on. Thuamul Rampur is 13km from here and we mostly get network there or we get constant network at a hill viewpoint 3…

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How can we trust them? So I was stopped by this man who seemed to be a professor/employee in our university, asking for a lift to the gate to go to xerox shop outside.

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Innocence

Innocence is a lost story you trying to figure out. You’re coagulated with delusions but reckons that as your identity. False philosophy clear blasphemy, slow drama and melancholy.

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I became comfortable in the silence they left me.

now it’s difficult for me to get up and be normal

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പക്ഷെ ഞാന്‍ എന്നേ ചത്തവന്‍ അയിരുന്നു

പക്ഷെ ഞാന്‍ എന്നേ ചത്തവന്‍ അയിരുന്നു

വൈകിയാണ്‌ തിരിച്ചറിഞ്ഞത് ഞാന്‍ എന്നെ ചത്തവന്‍ ആയിരുന്നു. ജീര്നിച്ച്കൊണ്ടിരികുന്ന ഈ ശരിരം ഒരു ഭാരമായി കഴിഞ്ഞു ചുറ്റുമുള്ളവര്‍ എങ്ങനെയൊക്കെയോ ഇടപ്ഴുകി എന്റെ പഴുകിയ ഈ ദേഹത്തില്‍ സ്നേഹ ദ്രവ്യം നിറയ്ക്കാന്‍ ശ്രമിക്കുന്നുണ്ട്. പക്ഷെ ഞാന്‍ എന്നേ ചത്തവന്‍ അയിരുന്നു

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എപ്പോളും നിങ്ങളെ ബോധിപ്പികനമല്ലോ

അത്ര എളുപ്പമല്ലാത്ത ജീവിതം മരണത്തിലേക്ക് ചുരുക്കുന്നത് ഭിരുത്വം തന്നെയാണ്.

പക്ഷെ ജീവിക്കാന്‍ തോറ്റ് കൊണ്ടേ ഇരിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ മരണം എളുപ്പമായി തോന്നുന്നത്. ആ ഭിരുത്വം കൈ എത്തും ദൂരത്ത് ഉണ്ട് എന്ന് പേടിപ്പിക്കുന്ന സത്യത്തില്‍ നിന്നാണ്.

അപ്പോഴും ഒരു ചോദ്യം ബാകി, ഇനി അവര്‍ എന്ത് പറയും? നിങ്ങള്‍ എന്ത് പറയും? എപ്പോളും നിങ്ങളെ ബോധിപ്പികനമല്ലോ

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Death was not an amuse anymore

Death was not an amuse anymore

Keep on failing further As the words were taken away anyway Still didn’t give up to death. Your life is remnant of prayers, they keep reminding me that. Death had something to tell me, Maybe it wanted to take me before I desperately failed, Then they shushed away death with prayers. If animosity is collected they might not pray anymore. Before the death come let me say, He will not amuse anymore.

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Stranger's story

Stranger’s story

Let the story be incomplete here. Where it ends has no meaning from the beginning itself.

It’s all the same, a vague idea of existence in our own selves. The purpose was unknown as obvious.

Then the protagonist went forward alone, even when the story was not written for him. Might have thought that he will be knighted with the glory but sorry,

He was still a stranger to the character of his own…

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Void

അര്‍ത്ഥമില്ലാത്ത ശുന്യതകളില്‍ നിന്റെ നിശബ്ദ്ത.

Your silence in this inane void

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I thought to drop out I have been struggling to pay my fee from my admission time here. My parents and some of the good wishers who really cares and loves me found ways to help with my needs with my education here till date.

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Run peacock through the fields ________ You know the grudge of your truth makes me a liar? I cut my ears & shut my mouth to give that smile. ‎I mean just take it like I made it to please your ignorant heart. I want to sound much more mean. Your hypocrisy, I mean your realness. I should 'Man Up' to get over my clumsiness but be a brother/nice guy to run your errands? Their presence, absence & care touches but mine became irrevertably wrong/irrelevant? Run dear peacock through the field. Rain don't give a damn about your dance prequel. & This Red is much more Red-der than your fake food colouring agent. These meaningless words are my creation, but it wasn't so hard now that you're so predictably meaningless.

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"Friend of all best of none" I was outside circles before, I was built like that. The Last & first time when I put myslef around in a 'set', I really messed up. Rather putting blame on anyone I say I didn't fit in a 'set'. within those 'brackets' I couldn't see all of others or their existence. but them who were inside with me could see others out of those brackets. May be I was not understanding the 'set' as I should have. Anyway it was heartbreaking to be thrown out & left to dry the fires on my chin in own tears. Still I wish to say I walked out to freedom. I knew later what I miss among all those others when I was just confined in a 'set'. From that day on I've decided I will never be in 'set' or confined to be in a position where I'd lose my wings. I am close to those who are close to me, I'll share with a friend/person maybe before the friend/person does. but I trust it in a way that we have our own thing. But this can be misunderstood by me being with one friend only. Why? My Answer is, My character is not like that. Atleast ‎as I've noticed myslef, I try to be with everyone at one time. I want be with each person I met which is wierd and at that process I lose the closeness of being with a group of friends or a friend. I know that they haven't felt good when I was not able to be theirs all the time they wanted. It didn't occured to me when I realized yes I should let people understand this is what I've become or this is what I'll be. ‎ I really appreciate people and wonder at who are confined to be with one or two friend/person with they have a strong relationship. In end they will have lifelong deep friendship to keep. compared to mine which can be short-lived after the busyness in a current existence. It hurts to the people who are closed to me. in fact I'm more posseive like them. But before I hurt them, before I mess with 'you are only mine thing' I move to a space with a hope I'll manage the closeness. which often fails because the my friend doesn't needs to understand that I've never understood myslef. Who am I seeking for? I am not searching for any perfect thing in world to settle down. don't get me wrong, its just m...(C comments)