runtosleepdreamer

[runtosleepdreamer]

Student 1: I think I have hallucinations

So I teach on the weekends, and sometimes my students are… chaotic

[runtosleepdreamer]

Student 1: my reaction to everything is to laugh. My parents told me my aunt’s dad died and I chuckled

So I teach on the weekends, and sometimes my students are… chaotic

[runtosleepdreamer]

Our theme is “responsibility” at my school right now, and many students have made posters. This one is my favorite:

[runtosleepdreamer]

Student 1: why do people do it (hookah)

Me: why do people do drugs

Student 2: to feel good. To go to another world

Student 1: to die

So I teach on the weekends, and sometimes my students are… chaotic

[runtosleepdreamer]

Student 1: I turn red when I’m laughing cuz I can’t breathe.

Student 2: *deadpan* then don’t laugh.

So I teach on the weekends, and sometimes my students are… chaotic

[runtosleepdreamer]

Student 2: I’m cold blooded

Student 1: you’re not cold blooded

Student 2: I have a cold heart

Student 1: that doesn’t mean you’re cold blooded

Student 2: I will punch you in the face

Student 1: you see these threats she’s making!

Student 2: … *tonelessly* I love you. *hugs her*

So I teach on the weekends, and sometimes my students are… chaotic

[runtosleepdreamer]

Student 1: she’s laughing

Student 2: she’s not laughing

Student 1: of course she’s laughing, does it look like she’s crying?

Me, trying so hard not to go “BITCH I MIGHT BE”

So I teach on the weekends, and sometimes my students are… chaotic

[runtosleepdreamer]

Me: do you remember your homework? (She’s been “forgetting” her homework for the past couple of weeks)

Student: *nods*

Me: ok point to the line you’re supposed to read

Student: *points to a line*

Me: no, that’s line 6. You’re doing lines 5-6

Student: *points to line*

Me: no that’s line 4

Student: *blanks*

Me, emphasizing: lines 5-6

Student: *blank*

Me, pointing: if this is line 4 and this is line 6, then where’s line 5?

Student: *blank*

Me: do you know how to count?

Student: no

Me: …okay. Uh. *gives in* This is line 5

… do you know your numbers? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6?

Student: *nods*

Me: okay… what comes after 4?

Student: ..9!

So I teach on the weekends, and sometimes my students are… chaotic

[runtosleepdreamer]

So I teach on the weekends, and sometimes my students are… chaotic

[runtosleepdreamer]

Some of you have never had to mutter a word to yourself to practice the proper pronunciation of it and it shows

[runtosleepdreamer]

@kaennomai

[runtosleepdreamer]

a dude came into the library stoned out of his mind and was like, “do I need a library card to look at books?” And I said, “to take books home, yes. To look at them, no” and he looked so relieved. bro was staring at a fish encyclopedia for like an hour and then just left.

[runtosleepdreamer]

No see I used to get porn bots on tumblr all the time when I was more active a few years ago.

Now, they took over my Snapchat.

I’m not even on Snapchat except for the streaks.

are we sure the pornbots aren't actually the new users migrating over from twitter

[runtosleepdreamer]

Doesn’t matter what your height is if you’re afflicted with the tendency to slam your phone into the wall in an attempt to try and catch it

People who are shorter are less likely to break their phone screens if they drop their phone.

[runtosleepdreamer]

Please don’t touch is the only thing that can’t be written in braille

[runtosleepdreamer]

CPR is percussive maintenance for humans.

[runtosleepdreamer]

met a new kinda guy on twitter today