rxshelleinhell

[rxshelleinhell]

This is so fucking funny I got diagnosed with big tiddy goth gf 😔

[rxshelleinhell]

I had to move a few months ago. I had a gym membership with LA fitness. I've had a gym membership with them before, cancelling was a humiliating process. Call the gym, receive orders to speak to a representative in person. Receive some pre-planned speech about how they have special offers this month. Drive to the gym, ask to cancel, receive an arcane set of instructions for cancelling. I must return home, log in to my computer, I must wait for the full moon and find the lake beneath it. I must row until I cannot see the shore, where I must light a candle and whisper secrets to the flame as if it were my lover. Then, I must fall fast asleep. Only then will a representative from LA fitness call me back to ask if I really really really want to cancel my membership. I must not be swayed by offers of jewels, or women, or effeminate men, or discounts on the personal training program. I must cancel.

Not this time.

By twist of fate, It was time to replace my credit card anyway. So I cancelled nothing. Their disgusting little dog of a computer system slammed its pleas into a retired credit card number over and over, barking it's lungs raw that a single twinkish customer might not pay them 30$ a month anymore. The calls began.

Hi! --My phone shows me a transcript of an unanswered voicemail-- It's Jeremy from LA fitness! Just calling to say that theres a problem with your credit card! Call us back and we can straighten this all out.

I cannot help but smile. There is no LA fitness near me now. I will not patronize them ever again.

Hey it's Ignacio calling from LA Fitness. Just calling to say there's a problem with your credit card. If too much time passes without payment, you could invite additional fees but I can help you with that.

Claw your fingernails to bleeding stumps at my door. You will hear nothing from me.

The Esporta Fitness department called me. Yes, you worms, that's the problem. I don't speak Spanish. I hope the poor sap who called me got paid for every second spent composing this voicemail. Burn another dollar on her altar such that she might commune with me. She will receive everything, and I will give you nothing.

Call me again you mewling beasts, leave another voicemail. Writhe untouched by the grace of my credit card information. You deserve nothing but my silence.

[rxshelleinhell]

You should be able to rot in bed for 2, maybe 3 hours after waking up before it starts affecting what time it is. If I wake up at 8:30 and lie in bed for 2hr it should still be 8:30 when I get up

[rxshelleinhell]

[rxshelleinhell]

in a kinder world i live in an i spy page

[rxshelleinhell]

Lucy Liu by Warwick Saint for Esquire Magazine; May 1, 2006.

[rxshelleinhell]

家主とのくらしも　10ねんめにはいるです

はやいものなのです

I will start the tenth years now... It has been fast...

[rxshelleinhell]

someone: so how are you?

me: *tries to recall the 734 feelings i’ve cycled through that day* uh

[rxshelleinhell]

Art by Justine Thibault

[rxshelleinhell]

The CIA tries to kill Clark Kent, not because they know he’s Superman, but because he’s a really good journalist. They keep making it look like an accident, but every plan fails. It’s a comedy as the CIA can’t figure out why their attempts always go wrong.

[rxshelleinhell]

disney concept art: the most beautiful dynamic original thing i have ever seen

disney finished project: rubber same face minimalism regurgitated plots 

[rxshelleinhell]

[rxshelleinhell]

[rxshelleinhell]

the great slumber; aka blood puddle pillow by keetra dean dixon, 2004

ongoing series initiated in 2004. inspired by those suspenseful moments when a sleeping loved one is a little too still for a little too long. project goal: taking ownership of morbidly intrusive thoughts through humor & play.

[rxshelleinhell]

A dystopian sci-fi where the “opressed” cave dwellers rise up only to find out the city-people had no idea they were there and are more than willing to help.

[rxshelleinhell]

10 TV Episodes for Halloween (part one)

[rxshelleinhell]

Dante's Inferno (1861)

— by Gustave Doré