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sadistically-switching · 8 years ago

Text

My Answers

The Most Comprehensive NSFW Ask Around

About You

What is the size of your penis/breasts? 36D

Does your penis curve? N/A

Are you circumsized? N/A

Have you ever had an STD? No

Have you ever been pregnant/gotten someone pregnant? No

What type of underwear are you wearing? Blue boyshorts

What is your favorite type of underwear? Sexy: Lacy thong, Comfy: boyshorts

When was your last erection/arousal? An hour ago 😂

Have you ever had an erection which someone noticed? N/A

Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself? Yes

Explain your ultimate fantasy. I’m not sure, but just take me however you want to be honest. I don’t really have any fantasies.

What are your turn-ons? unfinished list here

What are your turn-offs? anal. thats all i can think of.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever been turned on by? jawlines and voices

Have you sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr (Anonymously or Not)? yes

Have you sent a nude photo or video to someone? yes

Did it include sexual acts? yes

Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? no

Did it include sexual acts? no

Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? maybe? idr

Did it include sexual acts? see above

If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower? i mean sure depends on who you are

What was your latest sex dream about? some nice morning sex to wake me up

Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? yes

Was it about anyone other than your lover? yeah

What was the last fantasy about? getting tied onto someones new bedframe

Have you ever fantasized about someone older/younger than you? How much older/younger? yes, 4+ years older

Have you ever told any of these people that you fantasize about them? im sure they know

Do you have a favorite person or few people to fantasize about? yes

How often do you fantasize about other people? not very often

Have you ever showered with someone? yes

Have you ever confessed you were aroused by someone? yes

Are you open about your sex-life and sexuality? yes

Do you orgasm easily? not really

Have you ever played “7 minutes in heaven”? Explain the experience. nope, besides when i was a kid

Have you ever played “spin the bottle”? Explain the experience. nope

Have you ever played “Truth or dare”? Explain the experience. yes. ended in a skype session

Have you ever played strip poker/strip beer pong/etc? strip truth or dare. if you refuse to answer/do a dare you strip

Do you shave your pubic hair? yes

Have you ever had your pubic hair shaved? yes

Do you prefer clean shaven or unkept? trim the hedges

What is your favorite type of underwear for the opposite sex? boxers

Do you own any lingerie? yes

How much lingerie do you own? various sets

Whats your favorite lingerie outfit? batman slip, fishnet thigh highs and heels

Do you like the way your genitals look? sure??

Are you comfortable naked? yes

Masturbation

Do you masturbate? yes

How old were you when you first masturbated? uhmmm idk

How often do you masturbate? 3+ times per week

When is the last time you masturbated? this morning

Do you masturbate to any stimulus? pornhub/erotic stories

What do you think about? honestly my mind travels

What is the last thing you thought of or masturbated to? tits

Have you walked in on or caught someone masturbating? yep

Have someone ever walked in on or caught you masturbating? nope

Have you ever had cyber sex? yep

Have you ever had phone sex? yep

Have you ever had a wet dream? yep

What is your method of masturbation? (i.e. Hands/Toys/Lotion/etc.) hands and toys

Are you loud or quiet when you masturbate? quiet

Has anyone ever watched you masturbate live online? yep

Has anyone ever watched you masturbate in person? kinda

Have you ever masturbated with someone? (Mutual masturbation) im not sure

Have you ever watched someone masturbate live online? yep

Have you ever watched someone masturbate in person? yep

Have you ever masturbated to someone? kinda?

Who do you like to think about when you masturbate? various people

Have you ever told them you think about them while you masturbate? uh no

Whats your most embarrassing masturbation story? i’m not sure, uh i broke a vibrator once while using it?

Whats your funniest masturbation story? see above 😂

Have you ever used something unique or strange to masturbate? yes

Is it easy for you to orgasm or do you have to work for it? work for it

Whats the easiest way for you to get off? using toys while reading an erotica or

Is there only one way you can get off? (i.e. Vaginal/Clitoral/Toy Use) toys on clit mainly

Does anyone know you masturbate? How did they find out? yes, because i was dating them

Have you masturbated because your partner wasn’t around to help? Where were they? yes, and they were at their house rather than in my bed

Have you ever masturbated to a fictional character? you betcha

Are you able to achieve orgasm through only non-conventional or indirect methods? (Breast Play/Hands-Free/Anal) i’m sure if i tried but on my own i’n\m not very patient

What is the strangest object you’ve used to masturbate vaginally or anally? uhm. face massager as a vibrator????

Do you ever double penetrate while you masturbate? no

Do you ever suck on a dildo while you masturbate? i have, but not while masturbating

Do you edge when you masturbate? (Get to the point of orgasm and stop repeatedly to enhance the experience) yes

What position do you typically masturbate in? on my back in my bed

Describe a typical masturbation session. lights off, door locked, pornhub or tumblr queued, vibrator ready

How often do you usually last? on my own some times 10, sometimes 30-45 mins

Whats the quickest you’ve ever been brought to orgasm? 6 minutes

What’s the longest masturbation session you’ve had? an hour and a half

What’s the most amount of times you’ve cum in a day? 2 or 3 :( pitiful i know

Relationships

Are you straight/bi/gay/etc? bi

How many relationships have you been in? one serious one

What has been your longest relationship? year and a half

How old were you when you had your first relationship? we dated for a while when i was 13, then started again when i was 15

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? a non serious one

Have you ever used an online dating site? no

What do you look for in a partner? funny, attractive, kinky, nice to be around

What do you look for in a hookup? kinky and not sketchy

Have you ever had a one-night-stand? no

Have you ever been a booty call? yes

Have you ever had a booty call? yes

Who was it? some chick from school

Have you ever had a friend-with-benefits? kinda sorta

Who was it? friend from school

Have you ever cheated on a partner? Explain. no

Have you ever been cheated on? Explain. no

Would you ever be in an open relationship? Have you? yeah i’d be down. i havent before but id try it

Porn & Sex Industry

Do you watch porn? yes

How often do you watch porn? fairly often

What is your favorite category? masturbation or toys

When is the last time you watched porn and what was it? last week, lesbian

How do you feel about hentai (Anime Porn)? sure

How do you feel about gang-bang porn? no thanks

How do you feel about cumshot porn? sure

How do you feel about lesbian porn? 😍😍

How do you feel about amateur porn? 😍😍

How do you feel about cuckold/cuckqueen/swinging porn? no thanks

How do you feel about threesome porn? eh it’s okay

How do you feel about teen porn? yes

How do you feel about Japanese/Asian porn? eh

How do you feel about mature porn? no

How do you feel about ebony porn? sure

How do you feel about bondage porn? yes

How do you feel about masturbation/solo porn? 😍😍

How do you feel about rough/violent/humiliating porn? yes

How do you feel about BBW porn? sure

How do you feel about orgy/party porn? sure

How do you feel about trans/shemale porn? eh

How do you feel about POV porn? eh, sure

How do you feel about blowjob porn? eh, sure

How do you feel about bukkake? uh not really

How do you feel about extreme porn? sure ig

Have you ever tried to recreate a scene? yep

Have you ever used porn to show a partner what you like/want? yep;

Has a partner ever used porn to show you what they like/want? yep

Who is your favorite pornstar(s)? piper perri

Have you considered getting into porn? yep

Have you considered being a webcam performer? yep

Have you watched cam girls? yep

Do you have a favorite cam girl? nope

Have you ever watched porn with a partner? Describe the experience(s). yeah, and it was fun. we ended up copying it and it was interesting to say the least

Have you ever watched a cam-show with a partner? Describe the experience(s). yep, and it was fun

Have you ever performed in a cam-show with a partner? Describe the experience(s). yep, it was fun

Have you ever been to a strip club? nope

Do you frequent strip clubs? N/A

Do you have a favorite strip club? N/A

Do you have a favorite stripper/dancer? N/A

Do you get lap dances or just watch the performances? N/A

Whats your best strip club experience? N/A

Most embarrassing strip club experience? N/A

Funniest strip club experience? N/A

Have you ever orgasmed from a lap dance? Describe the experience(s). N/A

Sex

Are you a virgin? Nope

How old were you when you lost your virginity? 15 by choice.

If you haven’t, when would you like to? N/A

Explain your first time in detail. We were making out in my kitchen (i was sitting on the counter) and he picked me up, carried me to my room and dun dun lost my v card

How many sexual partners have you had? i’ve only had sex with one guy

Who was your best sex partner? only had one so him by default

Did you tell someone after you lost your virginity? Who? yes, best friend

Do you give oral sex? yes, duh

Have you received oral sex? yes, duh

Do you prefer to give or receive oral sex? i like to give and receive, give because you can make them a mess with just your mouth and receive because it’s just great.

Have you had anal sex? How was your first experience? no

Do you have any friends you would hookup with? yes

Have you wanted to have sex with someone, but couldn’t? Why couldn’t you? yes, distance

Do you like dirty talking? yes

Do you like being called names? yes

Do you like being called obscene names? (Bitch/Slut/Whore/Sissy/etc) yes

Are you loud or quiet in bed? mainly quiet, but i can get loud

Whats your favorite position? ass up face down

Have you ever invented a position? no

Whats the strangest position you’ve tried? standing. i’m 5′2 and he’s 6′2. didn’t work

Have you ever been caught or walked in on while fucking? nope

When is the last time you had sex? Describe the experience(s). it was a quickie, wasn’t very good for me but he got off so. a few months ago, i think

When is the last time you received oral? Describe the experience(s). long time ago, wasn’t very good

When is the last time you gave oral? Describe the experience(s). not too long ago my boy lmao let him cum on my face, it was nice

When is the last time you had anal sex? Describe the experience(s). N/A

Which celebrities would you want to have sex with? jensen ackles, jared padalecki, misha collins, david tennant, daniel howell, phil lester, shane dawson, benedict cumberbatch shall i continue

Any fictional characters you want to hookup with? dean winchester, sam winchester, castiel, the doctor, sherlock

Have you ever had shower sex? How was it? yes. it was fine but i hate the the feeling of wet skin on skin so besides that it was pleasant

What is your favorite position(s)? already answered

Where is the strangest or wildest place you’ve had sex/oral? his living room couch with all his family home

Have you ever broken up with someone because they couldn’t satisfy you? was going to

Have you used anything to improve sexual performance? (Penis Extenders/Tingling Lube/Cock Rings) nope

Whats your most embarrassing sexual experience? he was fingering me and slipped and accidentally rammed my ass

Whats your funniest sex experience? see above

Have you ever had any performance issues? What were they? nope

Are you on birth control? nope

Do you use condoms? eh, sometimes

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Describe the experience(s). yes. i just wanted him to stop because it was so uncomfortable and unpleasant

Can other people get you off? yeah

Is there only one way you can cum? (i.e. Clitoral Stimulation Only/Anal Only/Toy/Specific Position) nope

Have you ever been rejected? Have you ever rejected someone? yes and yes

Have you ever been stopped mid-sex? Describe the experience(s). the doorbell rang and my dog flipped out so we had to quickly fix ourselves

Have you ever had sex outdoors? Describe the experience(s). i gave him a hand job while we were stargazing on his trampoline

Have you ever had sex in public? Describe the experience(s). nope

Have you ever had sex in front of others? Describe the experience(s). my friend was afraid of my house and it was night, boyfriend came over for a quickie and i thought she was asleep in the living room but she came in while i was riding him and she sat in the closet because she didn’t want o be a lone. we just sat there and didn’t continue

Have you ever had sex in a car? Describe the experience(s). I want to

Have you ever given or received road head? Describe the experience(s). nope

Have you ever had sex/oral/manual sex in a movie theater? Describe the experience(s). i fingered a chick infront of her boyfriend in the theater. both he and i were torturing her, making her cum and cum

Have you ever had sex in a fitting room? Describe the experience(s). nope

Have you ever had sex in a plane? Describe the experience(s). nope

Have you ever had sex at work? Describe the experience(s). nope

Explain your best sex experience in detail. i was left passed out because he needed to go to work. i didn’t mind, i was just out of it

Which non-genital parts of your body do you like being touched or stimulated? neck, hips, back, thighs, etc

Do you ever take pictures or videos when you have sex? Explain the experience(s). yes. i like watching them and sending them to some people

Have you ever given a strip tease to a partner? yes

Have you ever given a lap dance to a partner? kind of

Have you ever received a strip tease from a partner? nope

Have you ever received a lap dance from a partner? nope

Have you ever “titty-fucked” before? yep

Has someone ever “titty-fucked” your breasts? yep

Do you prefer your partner to be vocal/moan loudly? im down

Do you enjoy having your nipples played with? im down

Do you ever role-play? not really

What situations or themes have you role-played? N/A

What would you like to role-play? anything ig

Do you role play with costumes? N/A

Do prefer lingerie in the bedroom? yes its so fun

Do you enjoy rough sex? yes

What would you like to improve about your sex life? more toys

Have you ever gone into public with hickeys? Did you know they were there? yes, but i am good with makeup

Have you ever had a threesome? Describe the experience. nope

Would you like to have a threesome? i’d be down

Who would you like to have a threesome with? i have some people in mind

Would your partner be okay with a threesome? depends

Would you like to be with two men at the same time? yes

Would you like to be with to girls at the same time? yes

Would you like to be with more than two girls at the same time? yes

Would you like to be with more than two guys at the same time? sure

Have you ever been double penetrated? Describe the experience(s). nope

Have you ever had every hole filled or been involved with filling each hole? Describe the experience(s). nope

Have you ever tried ’69’? Explain the experience. yeah. doesn’t really work when you’re tiny and he’s huge

Do you like cum or is it gross? i will not swallow 😂

Have you ever tasted cum? Do you like it? I hate it, the taste and texture

Where is your favorite place to cum or receive cum? cum on my face or tits idc

Have you ever had sex while on a period/with someone on a period? nope

Do you listen to music while you have sex? What kind? i have a radio in my room that is on 24/7 so country

Have you ever used a buttplug while having sex? no

Have you used any form of sex furniture? What kind? no

Have you ever brought toys into the bedroom with a partner? What kind? Describe the experience(s). yes, vibrator. it was nice, i was a happy camper

Do you eat ass? no

Do you like to have your ass eaten? no

Have you ever anally fingered your partner? no

Do you like prostate play? no

Is it gay for a man to enjoy anal stimulation from a woman? no

Have you ever experienced a prostate orgasm? no

Have you ever double penetrated/been double penetrated with the assistance of a toy? no

Have you ever experimented with the same sex? Describe the experience(s). yes. as i said before i fingered her in the movies and i made her cum on the way back in the car

Do you prefer sex with a man or with a woman? either or lol

Have you ever had sex with another couple(s) monogamously? (Not touching the other couple(s)) another couple invited me for a threesome

Have you ever watched another couple have sex? yes

Have you ever gotten cum in your eye? almost 😂

Has anyone ever cum inside you on accident? How did you feel about that? no

Have you ever cum inside someone on accident? How did they respond? N/A

Have you ever cum in your pants? Describe the experience(s). nope

Have you ever sexted? yess

Do you like to play with balls/have your balls played with? ill do it because he likes it

Are hand jobs boring or are they underrated? underrated

Describe your average orgasm. loud moaning, back arching, squirming

Describe your average cumshot. N/A

Whats the quickest you’ve ever been brought to orgasm? already answered, but 6 minutes i believe

Whats the quickest you’ve ever brought someone else to orgasm? two minutes 😂

How long are you usually able to last? quite awhile

What’s the most times you’ve had sex (or sexual contact with a partner) in a day? once

Whats your longest sex session? an hour

Toys

Have you ever bought a sex toy? yes

What is the last sex toy you bought? handcuffs

What sex toy do you currently want? vibrating dildo

Would you let someone buy you a sex toy? yes, and i have

How many toys do you own? five

What kind of toys do you own? cuffs, body pens, blindfold, vibrators

What is your favorite toy? vibrator

Have you ever used a washer/dryer as a sex toy? yeeep

Have you ever used a shower head as a sex toy? yeeeep

Have you ever used a pocket pussy or Fleshlight? N/A

Have you ever improvised a sex toy? (Cucumber/Banana/Etc.) yep

What is the strangest sex toy you’ve ever used? idk

What is the strangest improvised sex toy you’ve ever used? face massager

Do you prefer sex toys or the real thing? depends, i like toys but the real thing is so nice

Do you own any buttplugs? nope

Do you ever wear a buttplug in public? N/A

Do you have any vibrating panties? no but that sounds great

Do you ever wear vibrating panties in public? N/A

Do you like nipple clamps? havent tried them

Fetishes

What fetishes do you have? linked above

What is your favorite fetish? dom/sub

Have you indulged in all your fetishes? nope,

What fetishes are you yet to experience? sharing,coming without being touched, friends with benefits

Are there any fetishes you don’t have yet, but may be interested in? not sure

Have you experienced BDSM? Do you practice it? yes, yes

Are you a top/dominant a bottom/submissive or a switch?mainly sub, but i switch now and then

What is it about BDSM that you like? being controlled and having rules, being able to serve

Have you experienced being tied up or restrained? Describe the experience. only being cuffed and it was nice

Have you experienced rope play? Describe the experience. nope

Do you enjoy long, extended teasing/edging sessions? yes

What is the longest you’ve been teased/edged? not very long, unfortunately because he couldn’t help himself

Do you enjoy tease and denial? yes

Do you like to be denied? yes and no 😂

Do you have a panty fetish? idk

Have you ever purchased panties from a woman online? no

Have you ever used panties to masturbate? (Stuffing/Wrapping/Etc.) no

Do you have a hosiery fetish? i like wearing fishnets so 😂

Do you like pain? a little bit

Do you like spanking/being spanked? yes

What do you prefer to use to spank? (Paddles/Hands/Whips/Etc) hands

Do you like to hit or be hit? How hard? no thanks

Do you enjoy choking or being choked? How hard? light choking

Do you like to bite or be bit? i love biting oml bite me all you want

Do you like to slap or be slapped? no thanks

Do you like pulling or having your hair pulled? yes and yes

What is your safe-word? i don’t have one, so “stop”

Have you ever done a cum-walk? (Walking in public with cum on your face/clothes/etc) no

Would you do a cum-walk? probably not

Are you an exhibitionist? i’m down

What was your best exhibitionism experience? not sure

Are you a cuckold? no

Are you a cuckqueen? no

Are you a hotwife? no

Are you a bull? no

Would you like to watch your partner have sex with another person? maybe

Would you like to have your partner watch you with another person? yes

Have you ever been cuckolded? Describe the experience nope

Explain your best cuckold experience N/A

What is it about cuckolding that you like? N/A

Do you like to be humiliated? a bit

Do you like to humiliate your partner? no really but i’ll try

Do you like to be humiliated while cuckolding or do you prefer a friendly environment. friendly

Do you like to be forced into crossdressing? i’ll do it anyway lmao

Do you like to be forced into feminization? N/A

Do you like to be forced into sissification? N/A

Have you ever fisted? Explain the experience. no

Do you like extreme insertion? Have you ever experienced it? never tried it

Are you a swinger? no

Do you soft-swap or hard-swap? n/a

Have you ever been to a swingers club (with a partner)? no

Would you ever go to a swingers club (with a partner)? maybe

Explain your best swinging experience. n/a

Would you ever participate in an orgy? (4 or more people) maybe

Would you ever participate in a gang bang? (4 or more people) whats the difference between orgy and gangbang? maybe

Have you ever pegged/been pegged? Describe the experience. nope

Do you peg often? n/a

What is it about pegging that you like? n/a

Describe your best pegging experience. n/a

Do you enjoy large strap on dildos or smaller? n/a

Do you enjoy sucking or having your strap on sucked? n/a

Do you like incest? no

Have you ever experienced incest? no

Do you like face-sitting/smothering? yes

Do you have experience in face-sitting/smothering? yes

Do you like weapon play? not really

Do you like forced cum eating? no thank you

Do you like rape play? no thank you

Have you experienced rape play? no

Do you like to be dominated? yes

Have you ever been dominated online? yes

Whats the most humiliating thing you’ve been forced to do? nothing really

Do you enjoy pet-play? yes

Do you like daddy dom/little play? Describe the experience(s). kind of, i like the titles, other than that not really

Do you like to be worshiped? never really tried it

Do you like to worship? the lord can i get an amen

Do you like to be spit on or spit on your partner? no ew

Do you like to keep the slave play in the bedroom or carry it over to real life? i’d carry it over

Have you ever been suspended while having sex? nope

Do you like ball-busting/CBT (Cock and Ball Torture)? never done it

Do you like to be told what to do? yes

Do you enjoy giving/receiving JOIs? (Jerk Off Instructions) sure

Describe your best JOI experience. he came quick

Have you ever given or received a foot job? i did it ironically because he was whining about being hard and then i got fucked

Would you ever swap cum with your partner? nah

Have you ever tried fetching? (Sucking cum from a partners anus or vagina after finishing) no

Do you like watersports? no

Do you like sounding? no

Would you participate in a bukkake? maybe

Do you enjoy brat play? sure

Have you ever participated in chastity? no

What is the longest you’ve been locked up or forced a partner to be locked up? n/a

Have you ever cum while in chastity? n/a

Have you ever experienced a full friction/lap dance? no

Have you ever cum or made someone cum from a full friction lap dance/grinding? yes

Do you enjoy outercourse/hotdogging/pussyjobs? yes

Do you enjoy cumming or watching someone cum over strange objects? idk

What is the strangest way anyone has made you cum? not sure

What is the strangest way you’ve made anyone cum? with my feet

Do you enjoy forced cum eating? no

Do you enjoy premature ejactulation? no

Have you ever experienced a ruined orgasm? Describe the experience(s). yep. doorbell rang right before or he came right before

Have you ever had your prostate milked or milked a prostate? no

This or That

Vaginal or Anal vaginal

Vaginal or Oral both

Oral or Anal oral

Handjob or Oral oral

Handjob or Anal handjob

Handjon or Vaginal vaginal

What feels better, masturbation or sex masturbation

Rough Sex or Intimate Sex both

Car Sex or Outdoor Sex car

Dominant or Submissive sub

Spit or Swallow spit

Facial or Cum on Tits both

Facial or Cum in Mouth facial

Facial or Cum on Ass both

Facial or Cum on Belly both

Cum on Tits or Cum in Mouth tits

Cum on tits or Cum on Ass both

Cum on Tits or Cum on Belly both

Facial or Creampie facial

Facial or Anal Creampie facial

Vaginal Creampie or Anal Creampie neither

Circumcised or Uncircumcised doesnt really matter

Boxers or Briefs boxers

Tits or Ass both

Ruined or Complete Orgasm complete

Vaginal or Clitoral Orgasm clitoral

Prostate Orgasm or Regular regular

Cuckolding or Swinging swinging

Pegging or Grinding grinding

Lap Dance or Strip Tease tease

Grinding Orgasm or Titty-Fucking Orgasm grinding

Be Humiliated or Worshiped either

Footjob or Hotdogging hotdogging 😂

Lace Panties or Cotton Panties both but lace

Latex or Leather leather

Silicone Dildo or Glass Dildo silicone

Dildo or Vibrator vibrating dildo

Hitachi or Sybian sybian

Real Cock or Sex Toy Cock both

Real Pussy or Fleshlight/Pocket Pussy real

Cam Sites or Porn Sites both

Strip Clubs or Porn porn

Dirty Talk or Loud Moaning both

Faked Orgasm or Premature Ejaculation faked? idk

Cum on Clothes or Cum in Hair i’ll take it in my hair because it’s easier to wash out

Lingerie or Naked i mean both

CFNM or Naked naked

Corset or Bustier corset

Thongs or Cheekies both

Porn or Sex both

JOI or Lap Dance both

Fishnets or Nylons fishnets

Big Dick or Small Dick big

9" Dick or 4.5"Dick either one

Length or Girth length

Big Tits or Small Tits big

Petite or Chunky petite

Muscular or Average both

Beard or Shaven both

Pubic Hair or None none

Thigh Gap or Thick Thighs both

Twerking or Slow Tease slow tease

Prostate Orgasm or Frenulum Orgasm neither

Anal, Clitoral or G-Spot Orgasm clit

Big Ass or Tight, Toned Ass both

Skinny or big both

Nerdy or Preppy both

Cheerleader or Nurse cheerleader

Firefighter or Cop firefighter

Sex on the Beach or Sex on a Plane plane

Sex in Public or Sex in a Car car

Vibrating Panties or Butt Plug panties

Ball Licking or Rimming ball licking

Nipple Stimulation or Neck Stimulation neck 😍😍

Hair Pulling or Spanking both

Choking or Slapping choking

Big Dildo or Small Dildo big

Realistic Dildo or Smooth Dildo realistic

On Top or On Bottom bottom

Long Hair or Short Hair long

Giving Head or Receiving Head giving

Getting Anal or Giving Anal neither

Pussy and Anal Penetration or Ass and Mouth Penetration neither lol

Two Girls or Two Guys girls

Bukakke or Glory Hole glory hole

Reverse Gang Bang or Male Gang Bang ??

Doggy Style or Missionary doggy

Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl cowgirl

Cuckold or Be Cuckolded neither

Cum On Someone or Be Cummed On be cummed on

Drunk Sex or High Sex drunk

Slow or Fast slow

Veiny Dick or Curved Dick curved

3 notes · View notes

sadistically-switching · 8 years ago

Text

Traditional Weddings and Little Toy Rings

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 4,683

Author: Ruby 2.0 [daddyslittleraven]

Quote: "I'm actually kind of drunk. Me likey."

A/N: This fic is for Lau's AU Funny Quote Challenge. The challenge was to incorporate a quote that we chose into a AU fic and submit it. If you like this, there will be more in the future. :) Also fair warning, I am absolute shit at writing smut, but here it is.

AU: There's actually a bunch of au's that I'm mashing together, so I'll just throw all of the main ones into one big sentence: "Our apartments are across from each other so we always see each other in the morning, and I always see you with your partner and then I saw you really sad because they stood you up at dinner and I haven't seen them for weeks and I just wanna see your smile again so please let me come over."

Warnings: Huge drabble? Swearing, drinking, smut more than likely, cheating boyfriend (not Dean-o), angsty-undertones.

@dancingalone21

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The air was cold on the balcony, the crisp September air biting at my exposed skin as I stepped out to water my flowers. I inspected an amaryllis as I watered it, trimming off a dead stem while humming to myself. The view I had from my balcony was beautiful. To the east and west was beautiful skyline, to the north was more buildings, and to the south was even more buildings. The southern buildings were different: the occupants stirred greater interest in me. I reached for my phone to send a text to my boyfriend, Joe, making sure plans were still on tonight to celebrate our anniversary. I can't wait to see you tonight, I texted.

I smiled at my phone as I headed indoors to get ready. Joey had seemed to distance himself from me lately, but hopefully this would bring us closer together. I selected a nice cocktail dress, one he had complemented in the past. I went through my usual makeup routine, spritzing a light amount of perfume on my neck. As I headed to the kitchen, I looked through my window and saw my neighbor, Dean. This was abnormal, as I typically saw him late at night through my windows.

He was an attractive man: candy apple green eyes, tousled brown hair that was just light enough it would trick you into thinking he was a dirty blonde with freckles speckling all over his tanned skin. He was muscular, and tall. He waved to me, smiling. That smile. I was a taken woman, but that smile. That was the type of smile that would make buildings bend to its will, the type of smile that would make even the most stubborn of people weak at the knees. I pushed my kitchen windows open, leaning out until he did the same.

"Date tonight?" He yelled across the way. Having an apartment on the top floor in one of the windiest cities had its disadvantages.

"Yeah," I smiled. "Are you going out tonight?"

"Just hitting the bar."

"Sounds like fun."

"You'll have to join me sometime that you aren't on a date." He chuckled and my grin broadened.

"Speaking of, I better start heading out. I'll talk to you later!" He nodded a farewell and we closed our windows. I slid on my flats and grabbed my purse, heading down the stairs. I hailed a cab and headed to the restaurant, waiting for Joey to show up.

The city rushed by in a whirl. Sometimes I couldn't believe I made it here: I was just a florist- an entrepreneur in the larger world of business. I opened my shop on the strip, firstly living in a small apartment above it. Business started booming. Eventually I had earned enough to upgrade to something a bit more suitable for my tastes.

I was lucky. I could have moved into a building where across the alley way was a married couple into exhibition, or a man who was a white supremacist and into the third Reich. Instead, I got Dean. A man who, the first time he saw me, was confused. He had no idea as to why there was a girl sitting on her balcony, drinking straight from a bottle of champagne and crying.

"Uh... Are you okay?" He had asked, confusion and concern flooding his features. I had been stunned in that moment, seeing this extremely attractive man talking to me, asking why I was wallowing myself in my sorrows.

"I'm fine. I'll be fine." I had wiped at my eyes, scrubbing the mascara from my cheeks. "Just found my boyfriend cheating on me. Some chick named 'Veronica'."

"Oof, rough." I nodded in agreement.

"I jacked this from their room service tray. They don't need it. Wanna share? I don't backwash, I swear." Dean had chuckled, and I smiled in spite of myself. He agreed, and walked over. We drank and shared stories of woe, stories of love, and stories of glee. We stayed up until we saw the sunrise, learning who the other was.

Dean had introduced me to Joe. Probably the only bad thing Dean has ever done for me.

After three trays of free breadsticks, two glasses of water, a bunch of pitying glances from passersby and still no word from Joey, I put my head in my hands and started to accept the fact I had been stood up. I rubbed at my face, asking the waiter for my check. As I handed over my card, I grabbed my phone and dialed the number that was all too familiar. The number I wouldn't need anymore.

"Hey, uhm. I know you knew about the date, because I talked to you about it earlier today. I'm not sure if something came up for you or not, but usually you would text me," I sighed into the phone. "Joe, this is the fifth time you've done this to me... I can't handle it anymore. I would do this in person, I hate to do it over voicemail, but you aren't here. I think it's best to say it's over for us. I'm sorry."

When I got home, I headed straight for my balcony. I rested my arms on the ledge, breathing deeply. I wished for the cold air to wash away the sorrows I had prepared myself for months in advance.

Like he knew I needed a shoulder, Dean's sliding door opened and he came outside, sitting down in his lawn chair.

"I thought you were hitting the bar."

"Decided against it. What happened to your date?"

"I dumped him. He stood me up again." I sighed.

"I'm sorry." I shook my head at him. We sat in silence together for awhile. He sat back, watching me as the wind swirled around us, breathing in the refreshing air. Winter was almost here, there was a bite in the air that signaled frost. With winter came the end of old things. Soon spring would be here, to bring in the new.

"Are you busy tomorrow?" Dean suddenly asks. I shook my head quietly as he smiles. "I'll be right back." He heads back inside and I stay in place. I turn around as I hear the door click open, seeing Dean there with two wine glasses and a bottle of Pinot Noir. I laugh, confused.

"What's this?"

"Here's the plan. Tomorrow, you're going to come with me and we're going to go pretend to be engaged. I know how much you love wedding cake, so we're going to go and try different types. They'll give us champagne," his nose crinkles in mock distaste, "and we'll have some good ass cake. As for tonight, even though I'm not a wine guy, we're going to drink classily and watch some Skin Wars. So go get out of that dress. We're gunna party like we're rich."

"Dean," I laughed, but it was void of all humor, "you don't have to do this. I'll be fine, trust me."

"Look, Y/N, I see you almost every day through the windows. I saw you every day that Joe was here, how happy you were. Then all of a sudden he stopped coming, and you stopped smiling. I'll do anything to see you smile again. It kills me seeing you like this. So please. Let me do this."

"Dean..." I felt something slip down my cheek with his hand following it.

"Please," he whispered. I nodded, telling him I'd be right back. I headed to my room, putting on some jeans and a tee-shirt. I quickly scrubbed off my makeup as I heard Dean digging around in the kitchen for some food. When I came back into the sitting room, he had set up a small food tray on the coffee table, and was pouring the Pinot into the glasses.

"I thought you weren't a wine guy?" I asked as I took the glass he offered me, sitting down.

"I'm not, but I know how much you love wine, so I keep a bottle on hand." He smiles at me.

"Why?"

"Because. Now, let's judge some people."

"No!" I yelled at the TV as Dean laughed.

"I told you he would get kicked off!"

"But his was easily the best! How could they. I had faith in you, Ru." I folded my arms as I pouted and Dean continued to laugh at me.

"You always pick the people who get kicked off, it's cute."

"Shut up, you just like it because you win."

"I just like being right," he chuckled as we clinked glasses, drinking what was left. "I gotta admit, that was some pretty decent wine." I smiled, looking up at him. The way his eyes shined in the soft light, and how his cheeks grew slightly red from the wine was simply beautiful.

"What?" Dean's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Nothing, just zoning out. What time are we going out tomorrow?"

"Uhm..." Dean looked at his watch, "How does six sound?"

"Sounds good. So, since we're officially 'engaged,'" I said the word with air quotes around it, smiling, "won't we need to know a little bit of backstory? When are we getting married? How 'bout the ring?" Dean laughed at me as I wiggled my ring finger, showing it was bare. He pulled one of his off and put it on his ring finger, and handed me a small ring that was in a plastic ball. I looked at it, confused.

"It was out of one of those toy machines," he shrugged. I nodded and cracked the container open, sliding the emerald gem onto my finger. "How about a September wedding?"

"Ooh, I like. Outdoors?" Dean nodded. As we went over our fake wedding plans, we found ourselves speaking more so of things we actually wanted.

"The last girl I was with, she wanted an outdoors, March wedding." I sucked in some air.

"March? That's when it's all slushee out." I could feel Dean nod. I had shifted in my spot, leaning on Dean with his arm around me, staring at the ceiling. "You were going to get married?"

"No," he shook his head. "I didn't want to. She did, but we hadn't been together for even a month. She left me a week later, said I wasn't committed enough." We stayed quiet, enjoying each others silence. "Were you and Joe going to get married?" He asked quietly, as if he was afraid of the answer.

"I thought so," Dean stayed silent and still. "But then he started skipping dates, getting more and more distant. I found him out with another girl, but he promised she was a friend. They were catching up. I got tired of it. You know the rest." I felt him nod again.

"If you would have gotten married, what type of wedding would you have wanted?" I thought about it for awhile, long enough he thought I fell asleep. "Y/N?"

"I'm awake. I don't know, nowadays it's almost cliché to have a non traditional wedding. I want something traditional. White gowns, black tuxedos. Three bridesmaids and groomsmen. Not seeing each other until the moment of. Walking down the aisle of a church, or maybe outside. Probably a church, with a reception outside. Something in June, maybe August. Just something small."

"That's what I want, too."

We sat in each other's silence for a while, just enjoying the company of the other. Slowly, my eyes shut and I drifted into sleep.

I felt the coolness of my satin sheets, sighing as I stretched. Realizing where I was, I sat up and looked around. My alarm clock read 12:13 PM and I groaned. Rubbing at my eyes, I looked to my dresser. There was a glass of water and some Advil on it, as well as a piece of paper stuck to the mirror. I walked across the room and shook out a couple of pills, downing the water as I read the note.

"Y/N, we fell asleep on the couch. I woke up around seven and put you in bed before going home. I'll stop by around 5:30.. Don't forget we're supposed to be engaged." I placed the note back on my dresser, grabbing what I needed to shower. After making my bed, I went about my morning routine.

"Come in!" I yelled from my spot on the couch. I was curled up on the couch with a bowl of cereal, watching the morning news when Dean walked in.

"Someone woke up late," Dean smiled as he sat next to me.

"Shut up, I've been up since noon. Just now having breakfast," I said around a mouthful of cornflakes. "You ready to be engaged for the day?" He nodded.

"Yep! There's a cab waiting for us downstairs."

"Sounds good." I put my bowl in the sink and threw on my shoes, slipping into the jacket Dean held for me. He held the door open for me, and we began our day as an engaged couple.

"You ready?"

"For delicious cake? Hell yeah." When we got in the cab, we rode in silence for most of the way.

"Dean, how did you get an appointment for us? Aren't these usually planned out in advance?"

"That's my secret," he said as he winked at me. "You are just supposed to enjoy the cake and champagne and have fun with me." I smiled at him as we pulled up to the bakery. It was a small place, nestled between a book store and a pharmacy. Through the window I could see a petite girl working the register in a green apron as she handed change to a man. Dean got out first and held the door open for me, offering a hand to me as I stepped out. I smiled at him, and we walked into the bakery. Immediately I was hit with a warm breeze that smelled like freshly baked bread.

"Dean!" The lady spoke, smiling at him. "Sammy, Dean's here!"

"Wait, your brother?" Dean grinned at me as Sam stepped out. I had met him once before, but his size always surprised me.

"Hey, you two! Right back here," Sam lead us into the back of the bakery where a table was set up in a cream colored room that was loaded with various pieces of different cakes, as well as various bottles of champagne. He told us what each cake was, and poured us each a glass of the expensive champagne before leaving us alone.

"Well?" Dean asked after we tasted a few of the cakes.

"This is amazing!" I exclaimed around a mouthful of cake. Dean smiled, finishing off his second glass of champagne.

"I'm actually kind of drunk. Me likey." I laughed at him, taking a drink of my own champagne.

"Me too."

"Should we go get more drunk?" Dean turned to me, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows. I nodded, giggling. He stood up and offered me his hand, bending at the waist in a mock bow. "M'lady, after you." I laughed again, taking his hand and putting on a horrible accent.

"Thank you, my good man." He mimed tipping his hat to me as he lead me from the bakery, saying 'bye' to Sam.

"Alright, where should we go?"

"Uhm... There's that bar that's by our house," I suggested. "Or even a club."

"Let's go to a club," Dean grinned as he flagged down a taxi and opening the door for me. We slid in and he told the driver the name of the club and handed him the cash. We drove for awhile, still laughing. We pulled up to the club and I could feel the bass pumping in my chest, even though it was around eight and we were part of the early crowd, it was still loud. We walked in and found a booth the perfect distance from the stage and bar where we could people watch. I slid into the seat, Dean sliding in across from me as a waitress comes to us to take our order of mozzarella sticks and beer.

We watched the crowd start to grow as we chatted over our beers. I was watching the crowd when I saw a familiar face.

"Oh, no..." I half whispered.

"What?" Concern flooded Dean's face before he followed my gaze and it turned to one of anger. "I'll go talk to him."

"No, no," I stopped Dean as he started to stand. "Look, Joe and I broke up. The fact that he's here with- who is he here with?" My train of thought was completely derailed as I tried to look over the people to see the girl my ex-boyfriend was with.

"You've only been broken up for a day."

"I know, but I wanna see who he's with..." I muttered in frustration. Dean appeared to have caught a glimpse of the girl, whose hair was all I could see of her.

"You're not going to like this."

"What? Who is it?"

"Veronica." The name itself sent my head into a whirl. Veronica. The name sounded like poison on my tongue. She was the girl who I caught with my first boyfriend here in the city. I had seen texts between the two of them before, hoping and praying it was someone else. But, it had been the same girl.

"Fuck."

"What do you want to do?" I sighed, running my hands through my hair.

"You're right, we've been broken up for a day. I don't care who he's with." Dean smiled at me.

"I'm glad, 'cause you're with me tonight. Let's go dance- get your mind off of it." He offered his hand to me and I grinned up to him. I drank the rest of my drink and took his hand as he lead me to the dance floor. He pulled me close to him and we danced for song after song after song. He spun me around during a slower song and I laughed as I ended up flush to him.

"Joe's watching." I stiffened slightly as Dean said these words in my ear. "Relax, don't let it show you know." By this time, the alcohol had hit me enough that all inhibition had been thrown out the window carelessly, and I knew Dean was the same.

"Well, let's give 'em a show," I grinned up at Dean, who smirked back at me. He pulled me even closer, which I couldn't believe was possible and dipped me low, beginning a dance that I knew. I threw my head back at laughed, recognizing the tune from an episode of "How I Met Your Mother". We continued the routine, in a fit of giggles. The last move was a lift, and when Dean slowly lowered me down at the end, we were both breathing hard. I smiled, as did he, before returning to our booth.

"Hey, do you maybe wanna go back to my place?" Dean said after awhile of catching our breath. "It's getting late."

"Sure," I smiled, taking Dean's outstretched hand, and followed him past Joe. Dean winked at him and I stifled a laugh at the look that crossed Joe's face before we rushed back out. We laughed the entire way back to Dean's apartment, which wasn't far. When we arrived, I flung myself onto his couch.

"Do you want some sweats?"

"You read my mind," I smiled at him.

"I'll grab you a pair," he laughed as he left to grab them. I slid off my shoes, rubbing my feet. He brought the pair to me as well as a sweater, before going back to his room to change. I slid into the clothes quickly, discarding my dress over the back of the couch. By the time Dean had returned, I already had the TV on Netflix and was finding something to watch.

"Wanna play a game?" Dean asked suddenly.

"Sure," I smiled. "What's the game?" He took the controller from me and pulled up a raunchy movie, full of sex scenes. I raised a brow at him before he settled behind me, pulling me to him to rest on his chest.

"First one to touch themselves," he whispered into my ear, "will lose. Winner has their way with the loser." I shivered and nodded.

"You're on." I managed to squeak out the words as Dean rested his head on my shoulder, watching the movie.

Around the third or fourth sex scene in the movie I started to shift in my seat, closing my legs a little tighter as I felt Dean chuckle behind me. I knew this was all from the alcohol, but I didn't care. I didn't think Dean did either. I jumped as I felt Dean's lips press against my neck. Kissing up to my ear and nipping my earlobe before going all the way back down to my collarbone made me shiver. I let out a quiet moan that did not go unnoticed.

"Enjoying the movie?" Dean murmured in my ear, continuing his torture.

"Mm..." I moaned, trying to focus my attention back on the movie. He won't get away with this, I thought. I stood up, pulling myself from Dean's arms before resituating myself over him as I straddle him. He stared up at me, biting his lip as he placed his hands on my waist. I card a hand through his hair and speak in a low voice, "Did you think you'd get off scot-free?" I gently pull at his hair as he groans.

"You want this?" He asks me in a sultry and restrained voice.

"Yes," I whisper into his neck as I nip at him. He brings a hand up to my face, cupping my cheek as he pulls me to look at him. Slowly, he leans toward me, the hand on my waist bringing me ever closer. The movie and challenge long forgotten, he presses his lips to mine slowly, kissing me tenderly. It quickly grows to more as his fingers cling to my hips tighter and mine pull on his hair. He moans, wrapping my legs around his waist as he stands. He carries me to his room, laying me out on his bed. He positions himself over me, kissing me as he grinds his hips into mine.

I moan into a kiss as he trails down my jaw and to my neck, nipping and sucking. I knew he was leaving marks as his trail, and that I'd have a hell of a time covering them but I didn't care. My back arched into him as he slowly peeled off the sweater I was wearing, kissing at the new skin Dean was exposing before resuming his trail down to my sweats. I shivered as he kissed around the waistline of the sweats, slowly peeling them off. I let out a whine when he stared up at me as he kissed me through my panties. He came back up to kiss me, tangling a hand in my hair as he did so.

"Fuck," I moaned as he rubbed me through my panties. He chuckled at me as I kissed his neck and tugged at his shirt. He sat back and pulled it off, allowing me to take it all in. I had seen him shirtless before, but never like this. I ran my hand over his stomach and chest as he kissed me again. I was fueled by this, flipping us as I ground my hips onto Dean's. He groaned, kissing wherever he could reach. I moaned loudly, my head tipping back and he gripped my breasts.

"Lose the pants," I groaned, sliding off of him as I searched in his bedside drawer for the familiar foil package. He complied, quickly pulling them off as I tore open the package. I crawled back onto the bed as he pumped himself, biting his lip. Oh, fuck me. The way his body shone with the thin layer of sweat, it was like something out of a teen girls fantasy. His chest heaved as he panted, lips slightly parted. His hair was disheveled, as I was sure mine was. Our eyes met, and we both laughed. He leaned forward and kissed me while I slid the condom on, taking over his job of pumping him. I laid back on the pillows, watching him as he lined himself up.

Dean looked up at me, smiling. I smiled back, and he took my hand in his as he slowly pushed himself in, both of us groaning in pleasure. As I adjusted to him, he laughed again, pressing his forehead to mine as he kissed me. I smiled up at him as he started thrusting, setting a nice pace. Dean was gentler than I expected, going slowly. We stayed at this pace for awhile, only picking up speed when Dean was about to cum. I was a moaning mess, groaning and cumming shortly after Dean before falling asleep in his arms.

I awoke the next morning on Dean's chest, hearing his heartbeat and feeling mine in sync with his. I didn't move, just basked in the early morning sunlight and the warmth of his body. I could feel the sheets wrapped around us and could hear the morning traffic outside the apartment. I smiled to myself, knowing what I did the night before and not regretting it. I felt my eyes shutting again, willing myself to go back to sleep when I felt Dean stir.

"Y/N? You awake?" His husky morning voice asked me, rubbing his eyes. I nodded.

"Mhm... What time is it?" I yawned as I asked. There was silence as Dean looked at the clock.

"Eleven," he groaned. I did the same, before getting up and off Dean. As I stood, I caught a glance at myself in the mirror- I had hickies all over, my hair was a tangled mess, and there was a handprint on my hip. I watched Dean eye me, before smiling at him. He came and stood behind me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my collarbone.

"I'm sorry," He whispered as he nuzzled me.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," Dean repeated his statement, meeting my eyes in the mirror.

"Why on Earth are you sorry? I've had one of the best nights of my life, Dean."

"And you owe it all to me?" He grinned cheekily as I swatted at his hand.

"Yes. You have no reason to be sorry, I loved it." There was a long silence as we stood in each others arms. We were bare- open to each other like we had been to others, but also different. Others had seen our bodies and glimpses of our souls, but Dean and I had opened ourselves up fully to each other. We saw one another at our best and our worst. Nothing in the world could change what happened. Dean took another glance at both of us.

"Y/N...?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"One day, I'd like to have a wedding. Something traditional, with white gowns and black tuxedos. Three bridesmaids and groomsmen. All of those traditions, like not seeing each other until the moment of. Walking down the aisle of a church with a reception waiting outside. Something small in June, maybe August." I smiled, recognizing the words I had said to him not three days prior.

"That's what I want, too."

"Would you maybe give that to me sometime?" He asked quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I want you to be the one. You are the one. I want to have a traditional black and white wedding with you. What do you say?"

"Yes. I say yes." We kissed, and from that moment the little emerald ring from the plastic ball in a toy machine became more. We never dated, but we didn't need to. We would have a traditional wedding, with white gowns and black tuxedos. Three bridesmaids and groomsmen, with all of the silly traditions at a church with an outdoor reception in June or August. And I was happy with that. I needed nothing more. All I needed was Dean.

#dean winchester #au #supernatural #dancingalone21 #laus quote challenge #lau's au funny quote challenge #reader insert #dean winchester smut

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