Sage || Professional Bullshitter & Writer || Ikimaru did my icon!! Absolute Voltron trash đź’ś Â || I have a writing blog lance-mcpain-is-my-mcgain! Thanks for visiting my blog!
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Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.
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Edit: pls stop liking and reblogging, I’m so tired of seeing this in my notifications
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I GREW UP ON THIS FUCKING GAME GUYS THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE CAN'T HAVE GOOD THINGS
Since a bunch of you are seemingly into tall, skinny dudes with questionable fashion choices, I present your next crush:

Mr. Mint ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh...hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????
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Older KL - Lost and Found [1]→https://x-unky-x.tumblr.com/post/186238867622/older-kl-disturbing-sign-this-is-my-au-not - I draw in pieces sometimes bc so long story.  this is kl Path to Marriage. 3-5years after S8. Keith meets Clone shiro on a planet and gets injured. Bc he was acting secretly, separated from cosmo. Lance sleeps tired after using power. his wakes up later than keith bc wounds are so deep he used a lot of power. he first time aid was the kid’s scuff. With great power comes great responsibility, must sacrifice lance vitality to use allura’s power. he somehow understands in heart. he used a little power only twice in the past. He is forced to launch Castleship but She doesnt respond quickly.
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Don’t let people make fun of you for liking japanese culture.
I am living in japan right now and let me tell ya:
There are people here who can’t speak or understand English who play nothing but Missy elliot and ludacris, even in businesses like housing offices and restaurants.
There are people who have cowboy hats and dead cow skulls in their home because they idolize what they assume American homes are like.
There are people who learn English strictly through music videos and American television shows.
There are entire karaoke bars with english songs often sung by people who have no idea what the lyrics mean.
Japan often takes American shows like the powerpuff girls and make japanese versions of them.
They often mistake common Americans for celebrities. I have been mistaken for Micheal jordan, tiger woods, Shaquille o'neal, Tyler perry, and saddest of all: queen latifa.
The act of sprinkling English into your japanese sentences is considered cute and cool and is popular with teenagers. Bonus points if you happen to use it correctly.
Japanese stores sell shirts with english on them and people buy them not knowing that most of those word combinations are nonsense.
Don’t let someone shame you for singing an anime opening, using japanese in your sentences, wearing clothing with japanese on it, ect. If anything, this is just one more thing that you have in common with them.
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if you’re gay for werewolves hit that morherfcukjnf reblog button
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i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second
anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk
and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something
paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.
i say, paul.
is that a nerf gun.
yeah, says paul.
i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.
he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?
and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–
a foam dart hits me in the leg.
i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.
i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.
no dart this time. okay. sweet.
so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about itÂ
anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.
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some customers: oh my god i’m so sorry i have to ask you a question i feel so foolish for not knowing this already please help me but i’m so sorry forgive me other customers: answer this question before i’ve even asked it or i’ll kill you where you standÂ
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My wife and I were were talking the other day and, I don’t remember what we were even talking about, but the idea came up that we would need an oreo for. I joked about getting one from my secret stash. This is where she made her mistake. She said “oh right, like you could have an Oreo stash without me knowing about it.”
I’m sorry?
That’s a challenge.

Oreos aquired.
I’m going to hide them in a super simple place at first

But be sure to follow this post while I chronicle all the ways and places I hide them and also how I plan on taunting her with cookies while she can’t find the package
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Professional commission work: 400-550 bucks Tumblr commission work: 70 bucks
some of you: OMG UR COMMISSIONS ARE TOO EXPENSIVE WTF it’s almost like you value your time >:( not cool dude
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