sakura4891

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As an exercise in overcoming the fear of writing in public, I'm going to start thinking of my blog as a commonplace where I think through ideas and try to make sense of the world.

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"You live in the grief and then the grief lives in you."

“Growing Around Grief”

Lois Tonkin, 1996

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― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Gentle Spirit

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This reminds me of the doors (gateways) in Makoto Shinkai movies.

René Magritte, La Victoire

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The comments!!!

When Eminem said “I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like” was that an endorsement of Kant’s distinction between noumena and phenomena?

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Joan Didion writes, in On Keeping a Notebook, that the purpose of keeping a notebook, or a journal for that matter, isn’t because you simply want keep a personal record of things; but because you want to remember the person you were at that specific moment. we write things down on our notebook/journal/diary (whichever one of those you keep) because we want to remember. we want to remember what specific people meant to us on a particular day or hour. or minute. we want to remember our first impression of something (or of doing that something), possibly of someone, too. sometimes we think we’ll “always remember” important events: “I’ll make a mental note of that” etc etc. but in reality everything is fleeting. so Didion says write it down. keep a journal. that way, people, places, and certain events will always be there in case you ever want to come back to them sometime in the future. but also so that they don’t ever haunt you.

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“My friend, to love people as they are is impossible. And yet one must. And therefore do good to them, clenching your feelings, holding your nose, and shutting your eyes (this last is necessary). Endure evil from them, not getting angry with them if possible, ‘remembering that you, too, are a human being’.”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Adolescent

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whatever i literally dont care 😎 <- cares so much that it feels like my organs are tearing themselves apart in my chest

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i know kindness exists because i am kind

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"I sit with my grief. I mother it. I hold its small, hot hand. I don’t say, shhh. I don’t say, it is okay. I wait until it is done having feelings. Then we stand and we go wash the dishes. We crack open bedroom doors, step over the creaks, and kiss the children. We are sore from this grief, like we’ve returned from a run, like we are training for a marathon. I’m with you all the way, says my grief, whispering, and then we splash our face with water and stretch, one big shadow and one small."

— Callista Buchen, Taking Care

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what is your favourite word? (and why?) (sincerely, anon)

the first word that appeared in front of me was karot ("կարոտ"). It means missing something/someone you once had. It's much more than missing, actually, it's a melange of yearning with a heavy handful of nostalgia 🌼 another word that I really like is lusin ("լուսին") — moon. I like how it sounds and I love that it's derived from the word luys ("լույս"), which means light in Armenian. Perhaps because it illuminates the night, perhaps because it illuminates my darkness ... probably both 🌼

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Need to paste this on my wall.

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staying up til 4 AM doesnt hurt in the moment but it does in the longrun meanwhile waking up at 4 AM hurts in the momentbut less in the long run. additionally staying up til 4 AM feels like an extension of the day but suddenly things get A Little Weird whereas waking up at 4 AM feels like entering an alternate dimension briefly and then slowly re-entering normality as the sun rises. hope this helps

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Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.

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what is it like living in Tokyo? how do you think it would be for a woman of color (black) to live there from your perspective?

1) Living in tokyo is awesome. I could talk about many aspects of why I love tokyo but i’m gonna focus on one, because it’s the first thing that came to my mind.

I lived in a few places before coming here, and one thing I love about living in a big city like tokyo is movility.

You don’t depend on commuting by car, you can walk around, the city is pretty much walkable, and that’s fantastic. And public transportation is also fantastic.

2) This question is a little bit tricky, I know for starters this is a misogynist country, so expect maybe to win less than a man for the same job.

Expect people, specially elders not to treat you with the same respect just for being a woman, but I don’t feel it’s as bad as Latin america for example.

Regarding being a person of color, no matter your color, just by not being Japanese we are different, and that’s a mark to carry, always.

You can speak the best japanese and you are still gonna get japanese people being like “what?” or trying to speak to you in broken english because their brain doesn’t compute your ability.

There’s always gonna be some racists jerks mistreating you. (which is the same for white people)

That said, I haven’t encounter as many troubles as when I was in north America.

I think Tokyo is a multicultural city, with a lot of curiosity for people from outside, and in general people are not really rude, but brusque in the way they communicate because they are not used to the cultural shock.

Something I usually tell to anyone asking me for advices to come and live here, is that if you are struggling in your own country to make friends, and find a social group, don’t expect japan to fix it for you, it’s probably gonna be worse here.

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And this just inspired me💛

What's the beef between engineers and physicists and even mathematicians.

Why physicists mock mathematicians: Because playing 51 dimensional chess against your own brain seems silly to us when there's a whole cosmos to explore.

Why mathematicians mock physicists: The universe can only be understood because some nerd spent the time playing 51 dimensional chess and in the process they created some useful stuff for the physicists to steal and abuse the hell out of.

Why everyone mocks the engineers: π=e=3 is an abomination before God and those pencil pushing dorks make more money than us so we feel the need to vindicate our $75000 student debt.