saltosalts

[saltosalts]

priorities

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hi guys i was in jail but then the guards felt bald for me because i’m so handsome & special so they helped me escape. hope that’s ok

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imagine going to a house party and ask to go to the bathroom and like theres a dark souls silver knight guarding a chest in there. and like you ask him to not look but he doesn’t respond at all. He’s not like agro, or staring at you with intent, but he’s FULLY aware of your presence and watching you like you intend to steal

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If you mess up a social interaction you can say "Failed Experiment" and move on

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Redditors are struggling in ways that we cannot even imagine here on tumblr Island

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mustelids are the best animal because they are fucking brutally efficient predators but they're also just absurdly cute

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starting a collection

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one of the funniest things abt this white collar job so far is that i get to see how fucking long people take for the tiniest things. "please paste this text into a separate document and send it to me whenever you're able to this week" i mean shit, man, i know what it's like to take weeks for a 2 minute task, but that's wild even for my standards. like yeah i can probably find the time to press the copy and paste buttons sometime this week

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I actually do feel like the "unemployed friend on a Tuesday" meme actually helps de-stigmatize unemployment because it frequently affirms that when you don't have a job you're more likely to be getting up to some weird shit rather than just lazing around. But I also feel like the unemployed friend is frequently up to some random shit because there's a whole pile of miscellaneous life tasks that full-time employment keeps people from. The unemployed friend is helping their cousin move, or babysitting, or checking in with a neighbor with mobility issues. The unemployed friend is a walking thesis on the inflexibility of our current labor landscape and just how much work exists outside of work.

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and they say white people can’t cook

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this headline feels like something someone would post on this website completely devoid of context and get 5000 notes for