bri / 20+ / any pronouns / multi (realm smp, hermitcraft, life series, crit role, pjo etc.)
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im gonna be so honest i dont think the lawyer fic will ever be finished but i do want to like write something of an outline of what i wanted to do with it cause ive had like a vague idea of the future of it since its initial inception
#lawyer fic rambles#like idk maybe i like write it on ao3 or maybe i just do it here#but like the main issue i had with the fic is that i had the initial events laid#but i had no idea how to actually get pangkey to actually fall in love lmao#idk i think i was too fixated on the legal research and less so on how tf are these two people gonna end up kissing#but also thats just me with fic writing in general like unless youre an established relationship i have no idea how to write proper yearnin#or realization of feelings or anything along those lines lmao#also did not help that i mentally told myself that i was gonna post the next chapter after the realm ended#and the realm is currently in the depths of limbo so idk lol#also the fact that i think ive drifted away from pangkey in general#like i still care about the content but like i dont care about lifesteal or bitsmp all that much#like currently ive just been watching couri midoff training vods with jumper lmao#havent watched any of the recent lukey streams besides clicking on it to keep my stream streak#so yeah idk i dont love leaving fics unfinished#i wont delete it but i might just orphan it#but yeah i think its run its course yk
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i need more people to look at tertel's photography because it's so so good, if you have instagram it's here and if you don't you should still open it to look at the photos they're gorgeous
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the shitty thing about building experience for things like masters applications or even like just uni applications in general is that i feel this need to like join clubs or societies or associations but i genuinely just have no interest in them at all... like im an english major right? one of my closets uni friends is literally the president of my uni's english society. they're hiring for the fall term and i know i could probably get in and it would be great experience as its relevant to my academics and would allow me to build connections. but i simply dont want to... i dont want to be designing insta posts in canva, i dont want to communicate with different clubs to help with the newsletter, i dont want to work on merch or events and like... its a choice on whether i do this thing that i'll probably be fine with but have no vested interest in for the sake of the cv/resume or if i just dont and instead focus on my academics that i know will be a heavy time load this term
#me complaining about real life stuff lmao#like i know im a lazy person ngl#i dont put effort into things unless i am like fully hyperfixated or have some sort of genuine interest in it at the moment#and i know that this is an issue of mines in general#and its not like if i do join i would produce shitty work#cause no i respect the time and effort of the team and i would do my part completely#but also like... idk im just iffy#ill probably apply ngl#i am planning on doing masters and i do need some more relevant academic experience besides my tutoring
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Couriway it seems I’ve grown quite fond of you tho there are no sexual urges or desires you come to me as a long lost friend whom I once picked apples with in papa’s orchard
#ive only been watching couri and hgb content for the past 2 days#ive grown immensely fond of these speedrunners but esp couri
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The clip from the end of stream for those who might've needed proof
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Oh! okay then.
[Transcript: Alright, the Pangi and Lukey fans are gonna love this one. This is so funny. So after Lukey put his performative male test, Pangi responded with "You identify as feminist and kiss boys?". [Long pause] Anyways. Now we get to move on]
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its sad but i feel so disconnected from the realm to the point that i feel no need to watch any finale streams at all (not aimsey, not pilis current one, not krow etc.) cause i think subconsciously (and this is only for me), the realm ended on that day tr!lukey died to tr!bad cause ngl all the lore after that moment is just so disconnected and up in the air (like the strands are there but im not confident on any of them properly latching in a way that is satisfying) and that moment, for me, was like the last moment with any sort of narrative cohesion and stakes
#this is a bit of a ramble and im not sure if im making sense#also this is all just my opinion too#like i still love the realm but also like when smps start to fizzle out i tend to like see the first signs of it and like dip#cause i did the same with dsmp and qsmp where i fully like jumped ship at this “final” canon arcs cause i just had a gut feeling#and theres pros and cons of that yk#cause yeah for me when i get to this point i just live through fanon content#so canon just becomes more malleable and if i dont see a satisfying finale ill just make it up in my head and deem it as canon#theres def something here about the intersections of narrative and canonity in this form of transmedia storytelling#cause the line between audience and author is ngl a bit blurred with livestreamed media#cause influence is a thing and inspiration on both ends of fanon and canon exist#idk im not making sense im just rambling more in these tags#bringing up my academic fan studies bs#but yeah im most likely jumping ship from realm lore and going into being a general lukey viewer
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Update 2 for the second oneshot: party essentially got tpked but i was the only character that was actually able to survive (succeeded the death saves) and because of my cover, i was the only one that could return to the mainland (cause the setting of this was a prison heist)...
peep the tr!lukey inspired D&D character that I made for my 2 one-shots this weekend
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btw this is what pangi said about realm - if anyone is curious
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i think im falling into the hbg/mcsr rabbit hole...
#idk ive been aware of them for a while and i sometimes watch couris no reset invitational videos#but now after the midoffs... i feel endeared to them ngl#would anyone like to infodump to me about these guys /lh
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pangi said he might just wait for season 2 of the realm…i’m so fine. like sooo fine…like it’s fine like it’s so fine. i am totally okay. mhm soo okay about this
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pangi talking on stream like "i can't be slacking, i should give myself punishments if i don't keep daily streaming and if i don't upload weekly"... Girl you know you don't have to throw yourself in the Torment Nexus right? you have a vacation ahead of you why are you wanting to immediately get back on that grind after... Nobody will kill you if you slack a little...
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thinking of "i am the one (reprise)" from the next to normal musical and how i can relate it to the realm characters
#in my head this song has a lot of parallels with pangili#but there is something that makes me not want to say its them but i cant identify it#i can also probably relate this to bbh but with him as well its complicated#im like at the state where i really like this song and i see some vague connections but i just cant get the final puzzle piece to fit
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Update on the oneshot: My guy got his fox familiar killed twice, fought some fucked up bears, cast fireball, killed the 5 mummies that were the source of the fungal corruption, counterspelled the decaying big bad wizard and dipped.
peep the tr!lukey inspired D&D character that I made for my 2 one-shots this weekend
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