sammos-shitpost-central

[sammos-shitpost-central]

ok reuploading started (going from oldest to newest)

[sammos-shitpost-central]

Guys… I have something to confess.

Im bisexual and might as well also be dead because of school even though it basically just ended.

[sammos-shitpost-central]

"favorite trick of the mind" - self aware yandere!shadow milk cookie x reader

‪‪✧︎‬‪‪ ‪‪✧︎‬ ‪‪✧︎‬

the first time your game glitched, you didn’t think much of it.

maybe cookie run was just having server issues. maybe it was just your phone acting up.

but then it kept happening.

at first, it was minor. your pulls in the gacha system were awful, comically so. ten draws, nothing but commons. another ten, still nothing. every time the cookies lined up, their silhouettes warped, their forms flickering with something... off. and in the briefest moment before they solidified, you swore you saw a pair of luminous, mismatched eyes peering back at you from the void.

then, you started losing in the arena. it wasn’t just bad luck; it was cursed. your team refused to attack, your opponent’s cookies moved erratically, and your health bar drained within seconds, like some unseen force was sapping the life from your game.

it was almost like someone was toying with you.

and then shadow milk cookie spoke.

you had just finished retrying an arena match when your screen froze on him. his model stood alone, but his gaze felt direct, piercing through the screen as though he knew you were watching.

"why do you even bother with those gnats?"

you frowned. that wasn’t one of his official voice lines.

brushing it off, you restarted the game. but the moment you logged back in, there he was again, lingering at the forefront of your kingdom, his mismatched eyes gleaming through the pixelated dusk.

"i’ll just have to make you forget about them all, won’t i?"

the words scrawled across your screen in jagged text before the game crashed entirely.

from then on, he demanded your attention.

every time you tried to focus on another cookie, the game would stutter, freeze, or forcibly drag the screen back to him. attempting to build something in your kingdom? shadow milk cookie would appear, waving his staff, and the structure would glitch out of existence. if you left the app open for too long without interacting with him, the game would suddenly lock you into his most recent beast yeast episode, his eerie form looming far too close to the screen.

when you tried to ignore the game entirely, your phone would not stop buzzing.

notifications flooded in, one after another.

"come back, won't you?"

"there’s no need for your silly mind to think about anyone else."

"i’ll find a way out of here… one day."

at first, you silenced them. but then they started popping up even when your phone was on do not disturb. even when it was powered off.

you tried to uninstall the app.

you tried.

the option was grayed out, unresponsive. your storage settings claimed it wasn’t even installed anymore, but the icon still sat there, pulsing, like a beating heart. then, your screen flickered, and before you could react, the phone burned in your hands.

you gasped, dropping it, and as soon as it hit the floor…

something stepped out.

he was taller than he had any right to be. no longer a tiny cookie, no longer bound to the screen. he towered over you, all sharp edges and shifting shadows, his hair curling like the claws of something eldritch. those eerie, watchful eyes, so many of them, blinking open in the depths of his hair, bore into you with something sickeningly fond.

"ta-da!" shadow milk cookie spread his arms wide, his grin gleaming with too many teeth. "i've finally arrived! applause, applause!!!"

you were frozen. this can’t be real. this can’t be real.

"oh, what’s with that expression?" he pouted mockingly.

"not thrilled to see me? i went through so much trouble to make you notice me, and yet..."

he was in front of you in an instant, his fingers curling under your chin, tilting your face up to meet his mismatched gaze.

"...you were planning to leave me? just like that?"

your breath hitched. you wrenched away, stumbling back toward the door, fumbling with the handle, but it wouldn’t turn. a shimmer of cerulean light locked it in place, his magic sealing the exit with ease.

"ah-ah,"

he tutted, stalking closer, his laughter low and velvety.

"that won't do at all."

you turned, pressing your back against the door, but he was already there, towering over you, caging you in with a smirk full of dark amusement and something far more dangerous.

his fingers ghosted over your wrist before latching on with a grip that was gentle. too gentle, considering the unnatural power he radiated.

"you'll never try to leave me again, my doll. i'll make sure of it."

the whisper of his breath against your skin sent a shudder down your spine.

his smile widened.

the screen had never been enough. the game had never been enough.

now, you were his audience. his obsession. his favorite trick of the mind.

and he had no intention of ever letting you go.

‪‪✧︎‬‪‪ ‪‪✧︎‬ ‪‪✧︎‬

‹𝟹 ‎ ⠀⠀ˑ˚₊ ·⠀interested in requesting? check out my pinned!

© 2025, iheartmira

[sammos-shitpost-central]

🩷The hero queen welcomes your enthusiasm for her antics🩷

FINALLY FREE FROM DEVELOPMENT HELL. Only took like, what? A year? :P SDFGHFGHJ This one was a doozy bc while the majority of it was complete, I had to go back and touch up a lot of things. Σ(っ °Д °;)っhell, the file even got messed up a little but thankfully, nothing too important got mangled, just had to re-do some lineart. ANYWAYS, I hope you guys like this one <:P

[sammos-shitpost-central]

CRK Incorrect quotes #5 Him:...WOULD

Dragon!Y/n*Floating above him* Be not afraid.

Royal Margarine: Raw. Next question

Dragon!Y/n:....

Dragon!Y/n*Looks at him, and blushes* Be a little more afraid...

So i just got him yesterday...and i knew...I KNEW...the moment he talked, he was gonna living rent-free next to mammon from obey me in my head-

[sammos-shitpost-central]

can you guys help me find that one fic where the lords in black are reacting to grace and max doing it 😭😭😭

[sammos-shitpost-central]

HAPPY BEING GAY MONTH GANGALANG

Time to RUB IT IN rhat women are hot to people

HEHEH >:)

[sammos-shitpost-central]

its that time of the year

[sammos-shitpost-central]

“i asked ChatGPT" well I asked Linda Monroe and she said that she hopes that you don't get a Wiggly and that she hopes you fucking die

[sammos-shitpost-central]

if i don't my mommy will be mad at me 😓

never understood students who willingly attend their own graduation ceremony. the entire point of graduating is they can't force you to attend shit anymore

[sammos-shitpost-central]

what if i just started posting random gacha life screenshots

[sammos-shitpost-central]

just your typical day in the black in white (they're in their doll forms because wiley decided to hang out there)

[sammos-shitpost-central]

drew them with the "hair styles" i gave their doll forms

[sammos-shitpost-central]

Beware of scents

[sammos-shitpost-central]

Okay I might have gone a little overboard. This is what hyperfixations do to a man

[sammos-shitpost-central]

I'm having a normal time

[sammos-shitpost-central]

can you guys help me find that one fic where the lords in black are reacting to grace and max doing it 😭😭😭