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I’m reading on old superstitions and: “Do not go out collecting nuts on Sept 14th, holy Rood Day, as the devil will be out nutting too!” September 14th: the day the Devil nuts

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Does anybody else remember that episode of Justice League where Hades promises Felix Faust unlimited knowledge in exchange for freeing him from the Underworld but then uses a spell to rapidly age Faust and give him unceasing agony because "All Man can ever know is suffering"? Because I think about that scene a lot.

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If you really want to know what type of person I am, look up DSM-5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, criterion B #4

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Happy Mother's Day to all the single dads out there.

Every single year on Father’s Day, I see dozens of posts and tweets and statuses about the single mothers who had to be both parents for their kids. And they certainly deserve that recognition. But so do the single fathers who had to be both parents for their kids. I don’t remember ever having seen a posts or tweet or status on Mother’s Day for the single dads out there. So happy Mother’s Day, single fathers!

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the most obnoxious part of the holiday season is commercials that try to sound like ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas and have a dinky xylophone playing in the background while the narrator tells you in rhyme to buy a Ford

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When the French and Spanish teachers decorate for Christmas.

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once again it’s that time of year where my brother puts up the Holiday Decoration

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Merry Christmas from the 99 to you🎅🏻🎄💕

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last christmas i told you my kink

but the very next day you shamed it away

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the reason i secretly like holiday meet-cute movies is not because they're romantic. it's because of their ludicrous, BALLS TO THE WALL insistence that there are VERY REAL and VERY POWERFUL SUPERNATURAL FORCES that will go to ANY McFUCKIN LENGTH to make wishes come true. like i have seen less commitment to magic as a plot device in actual genre fantasy media. almost literally every holiday movie is like:

secretly tenderhearted heroine who puts on a chilly facade because of her previous Disappointments: oh well. i know it's silly to dream, because.... because holiday magic isn't... real

holiday magic, bolting upright in rage: the FUCK i AIN'T

secretly tenderhearted heroine who used to love christmas but hasn't been back to the farmhouse for years: i just don't have time to fall in love, especially not... at this time of year...

holiday magic, flinging her soulmate from a whole other century bodily over the windshield of her car: INCOMING, BITCH

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She really just was like

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Date a boy who sends you stupid Christmas memes

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Ok, so I’ve been thinking about Spiderverse, right? Like how people have this really awful headcanon that Miles steals his art supplies for whatever reason. But Miles has a really nice drawing desk in his room, right? And those things are really expensive, so his parents give him an allowance that let’s him buy art supplies and save up for a $300 drawing desk, or they bought it for him for his birthday or Christmas.

But I want to expand on that headcanon some more, because his mom and dad are a policeman and a nurse. Those aren’t high paying professions. They live in a nice house in a good neighborhood and send their son to a private school. This means they have a ton of bills and probably don’t have a lot left over.

While they can give him an allowance to spend on markers and sticker paper and stuff, they probably can’t afford to spend money on a fancy drawing desk, especially if he already has a perfectly good desk already that he does homework on or whatever.

But you know who doesn’t have those bills? Who in Spiderverse doesn’t have kids to send to private school and who lives in a really nice place that screams comfortable wealth? Who loves Miles and wants to support his hobby and has $300 to spend at the drop of a birthday?

Uncle Aaron.

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Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.

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it’s the holidays again and it’s time to bring back this bop!