sampoundisnumberone

[sampoundisnumberone]

rich people i hate u also let me swim in ur pool

[sampoundisnumberone]

A tribute album to Weird Al that features the actual bands covering their own parody covers.

[sampoundisnumberone]

[sampoundisnumberone]

mom: go to bed me: there is a new meme mom: its 4 am me: i must capitalize on its success

[sampoundisnumberone]

psa. if we’re mutuals, we’re automatically friends. u don’t need to say things like “sorry to bother” or “sorry im annoying” bc ur not. ur my friend. u can come to me for anything. u need help? im here. wanna chat? hmu. just wanna gush abt your muse? go for it. we’re friends. ily.

[sampoundisnumberone]

writer from 200 years ago: heres a simple story about a man on a boat with no underlying themes

english teachers:

[sampoundisnumberone]

[sampoundisnumberone]

@ anybody trying to give me verbal instructions

[sampoundisnumberone]

[sampoundisnumberone]

[tries to crowd surf at a TED talk]

[sampoundisnumberone]

(my old username was phils-thicc-eyelashes) love you too bb

Thank you @phils-thicc-eyelashes for appreciating my blog. I like your blog too. love you bb

[sampoundisnumberone]

stop exposing me like this @usuallyweepingnacho

People: *showering me with compliments* Me: okay but what about that one negative comment I received June 6th 2003 ? Im trash sweetie

[sampoundisnumberone]

[sampoundisnumberone]

Me: WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY oh there it is

[sampoundisnumberone]

“What’s that musical? The one where we see a teenager’s life go downhill after the death of a classmate?”

“No, I mean, uh— the one where technology basically fucks up with everyone”

“Actually, I mean the one in which a kid almost destroys the school”

“No wait, the kid let’s themselves be influenced by something that no one else can see”

[sampoundisnumberone]

dirt is basically crushed up rocks right

and. salt is a rock

so is granulated salt…….. dirt?

[sampoundisnumberone]

*initiates bank robbery with a rubber band*