samsbastardzone

[samsbastardzone]

[samsbastardzone]

I never add to reblogs but Jesus this was easily my favorite concert I’ve ever been to. Band of all time

I swear to god I have not lied

[samsbastardzone]

as a cis guy, when presented with the "99% you get a ton of money, 1% you turn into a girl" it honestly would be dumb to not hit that button until it breaks. like ok now i have 100 bajillion dollars and gender dysphoria. big deal. i have all the money in the world to turn me back into a guy. like with that kind of money i could have obama do me a phalloplasty. he wouldnt be able to do it as he isnt a surgeon but the point still stands

[samsbastardzone]

spoke deeply to me.

[samsbastardzone]

latest character dynamic im obsessed with. do you see my vision

[samsbastardzone]

if you’re white and wanna write a poc character and feel awkward about it i implore you to ignore any twitblr stuff treating it as a massive ethical burden and instead come in more with the same mindset you’d have if you wanted to write about idk firefighters but didn’t know anything about firefighters so you do... research. Like fuck off with the weird kinda creepy calls for spiritual introspection you’re not writing about god damn space aliens you’re writing about humans and if you think you need more perspective of different life experiences just read?

[samsbastardzone]

Imagine what it must be like for your first name to rhyme with your second name. Like, why would anyone do that to their child? The only examples I can think of at the moment are fictional and sound awkward or cringe as hell: Ronald McDonald, Luke Duke, Kevin Levin, Amelia Bedelia, Georgy Porgy, Humpty Dumpty

[samsbastardzone]

thinking two characters have had sex does not equal shipping at all… i dont have to like it i just know it happened

[samsbastardzone]

the tv show cash cab used to give me anxiety because it made me think about this situation where i would be having a really shitty day like i just got yelled at at work or something and when i’m trying to get home this bald dude and his disco ceiling would drive me around in a circle and force me to answer trivia questions

[samsbastardzone]

The temptation, when adapting a really iconic detective, is to delve into his personal backstory. That's the devil talking.

[samsbastardzone]

Plot twist: the two boys you're choosing between are polyamorous, but they also hate eachother's guts so you still have to pick one

[samsbastardzone]

Soulmates as a horror concept.

You WILL love this person. It doesn't matter who you loved before; any feelings you had, any promises you made, they will become inconsequential as soon as you lock eyes with the stranger Fate has picked for you.

There's no way to stop it.

There's no way to say "no."

You will meet someone and with a single glance, both of you will become someone new, someone who's now bound to this stranger whether you like it or not, want it or not.

Trapped in a dance together until the day you die.

[samsbastardzone]

The first time you hug her, she’s just saved your life. Again. You’re not really "still kids" anymore, but fuck it, you feel like one again as you look up from the forest floor and see her still standing, breathing hard, no sound but calm wind and the dying gurgle of some unlucky owlbear. You stagger to your feet and over to her, mumbling "thank god you're OK," mumbling "my head hurts," drape yourself across her shoulders from behind, just seeking some comfort--

You are back on the forest floor.

The second time you hug her is also the first time you see her cry. She doesn't know yet how light your sleep is becoming, how watchful you must now constantly be at all hours, and so she fails to quite hide her ugly, wretched, silent cry. There's only one shitty floor mattress- again- so you can't help but feel her holding still as she tries to hide it, tries her hardest not to wake you. Instead, you roll a half turn to face her and wrap your arm around her.

She freezes, all sniffling vanished, stiff as a board. After a long, tense moment, she gently removes your arm from her torso and places it back at your side.

You wrap her in it again.

This time the rebuff is immediate and firm. Raini likes to sleep on her back on these shitty beds, but she curls on her side to face away from you, practically fetal. You can hear her taking deep shuddering breaths, trying to get herself under control. You're under control all day, Raini, you don't say to her. I want you to know I will never truly judge you. I want to see you sometimes, you don't say because you know she'd slap you.

So you put your arm around her again instead, and this time she lets you, curls tighter into a ball and wails until she's dry. You're not sure what brought this on, but you figure the girl needs some sort of release once in a while, least you could do is not say anything about it. Not out loud, at least.

Too bad she's a divination wizard.

The third time you hug her... well. We don't talk about that one. Zaini asked why you had a lump the size of a golf ball on your forehead. "Raini hit me with the floor" was the right answer, technically. You conveniently left out what you'd been in the middle of when you attempted a rare bout of genuine affection.

Zaini knows, though.

The [------] time you hug her, she's weak. So frighteningly weak that you don't know what to do with yourself, let alone this frail stranger by your side, staring up at an insurmountable tower topped with what can only be the literal sun. You're not that strong (what are you talking about? You're plenty strong!), and in fact, handing this pale waif off to the giant floating fish person with upsetting muscles is looking more appealing by the minute.

When she sags, though, it's you she sags against, and you fold her into your arms easily. Her head comes to rest on your shoulder, easily despite the rough pace of the climb you're settling into, and a sudden spike of pain and confusion pierces your skull.

Not the time. Later. You begin to climb.

The first time (in so long) that she hugs you, it's dark. The Neilia port district is cursorily bedecked with lanterns, but no more than any other part of the city that's not the palace. The royal wedding revels spin on into the wee hours, somewhere fifteen minutes' walk or more away, shouting their joy into the night sky.

She may be the divination wizard, but she could never sneak up on you, either. "I never thought I'd see this day," you tell her without turning around.

"I need you to stop being sappy before I smack you. I came here to watch the fireworks."

"Oh shit, really? Now? I must've lost track of time." You can see it now, as you turn fully around: all of Neilia's citizenry, arrayed on rooftops, terraced streets, hillsides, gazing expectantly up at the sky. It's jarring to see that many people at once, period.

They can't see you, though, and they aren't looking. As the first stars wink to life, as the first crimson and gold and deep purple wheels burst in the sky, a small body sits carefully cross-legged on the dock beside you and leans her whole weight into you. "Just here for the fireworks," she says, by way of explanation.

You manage to watch the show in silence for a few minutes, her head pillowed on your shoulder, this time perfectly still for her.

"Hey," and she looks up at the disturbance. "Thanks for giving our memories back."

"Don't make me push you in the lake."

"You couldn't."

She doesn't dignify that with a response, and she lingers with you far after the crowds have dissipated, leaving just the smell of gunpowder and the lingering hint of wonder in the air.

[samsbastardzone]

Still obsessed with Arthur Conan Doyle’s letter to Bram Stoker gushing about how wonderful a book Dracula is, but particularly how it makes such a good template for leaving fic comments, so I’m gonna to a BREAKDOWN:

Just say you loved reading it - “I am sure that you will not think it an impertinence if I write to tell you how very much I have enjoyed reading Dracula.”

Comment on a detail of the craft or structure that impressed you - “It is really wonderful how with so much exciting interest over so long a book there is never an anticlimax.“

Comment on how it emotionally affected you - “It holds you from the very start and grows more and more engrossing until it is quite painfully vivid.”

SHARE YOUR BLORBO FEELINGS - “The old Professor is most excellent and so are the two girls.”

Show appreciation for them as an author - “I congratulate you with all my heart for having written so fine a book.”

Next time you don’t know what to say on a fic you enjoyed, just use the ACD method~

[samsbastardzone]

tag the oc who would result in the most discourse if your ocs had an extremely popular fandom on tumblr