sapphic-book-bean

[sapphic-book-bean]

My Eng Writing Assignment that I totally didnt use to tell my teacher im gae

The Red Haired Girl

It was a February day. The ashen clouds spread out like a poorly-made blanket on the sky, and the sun blinked through as ripped holes would allow the cold in.  The sky had a brisk and curt wind to it, and as I walked outside, my arms coated themselves in  goosebumps. The air smelled of faint traces of rain and salt, from the beach I lived a mile from. I stepped with my holed running shoes down the wooden porch steps, sparing a glance at the porch swing. I had helped my father nail those chains into the ceiling and I had held those sturdy white pieces of cedar wood as he screwed the structure together. It feels like a lifetime ago. I had the persevering soul of a hero in those days. Slowly I strolled down the reddish brick of the walkway, coughing slightly in embarrassment when I tripped over an uneven brick, despite the fact that nobody was around to watch me make a fool of myself. I quickened my pace after that, my eyes sweeping up by the symmetrical bushes at the end of the path. They had small, vibrant, green leaves with a sandpaper texture. Tiny yellow-orange flowers bloomed almost year round on it, and they grew in little tidy  bouquets. When I was ten, I used to grab a clump of the miniature trumpet-shaped gold flowers and throw them up in the air, like snow falling around me. I traced my hand over the leaves as I got to the bush, passing my fingertips over the felt-like leaves.

Just as I reached the bush, I saw a golden retriever. Grey hairs poked out of his snout and he moved slowly and clumsily, but his eyes were a vibrant brown and glowed with youth his aged form did not display. A new, bright red collar was around his neck, and despite his slow pace, this dog held himself with a dignified pride, like an elderly soldier walking in a military appreciation parade on veteran’s day. Right behind the golden retriever, a small, grey dog with lazy eyes padded along. I believe it was some kind of wirehaired terrier. This little dog did not walk with dignity or poise, but like a 8 year old boy whose mother is dragging him on a hike, and he wants nothing other than to go home. The little grey dog wore a blue collar, but it seemed faded, worn as though it had lived a thousand years on that runty dog. Neither dog wore a collar, so I was worried for a moment that they were loose, or strays.

A few seconds or maybe a millionth of a second passed, I am not quite sure which it was. Time seemed to slow, like in those cliche movies where you see the main character’s crush and they walk slowly with sparkles behind them and their hair bounces and they smile or laugh. I am no main character. But, as I looked up from the dogs to see their person, my eyes locked on this girl. A girl from a polaroid picture. Shoulder length, reddish brown hair that had a slight bushy-ness to it, making it poof out like that cave girl, Eep, from one of my favorite movies as a kid, The Croods. Freckles dotted the red haired girl’s cheeks, and her hazel eyes shone with more light than a flashlight to the face. Her lips were in a soft, natural smile that made my chest tighten. She was wearing a faded brown vintage Beatles t-shirt, with an unbuttoned, button down, long sleeve shirt with a pattern of brown and yellow flannel over it. Her Beatles t-shirt was tucked into her straight, striped pants that were held up with a belt of smooth black leather. Her flannel sleeves were rolled up slightly around her forearm, exposing her hands with old bracelets that jingled and little silver rings around her fingers. Her hands looked soft and her fingers fit her perfectly. They weren't oddly long or dainty or chubby, they were nice and practical. She wore black leather combat boots, laced up tightly. The leather looked so smooth, I longed to touch it and obsess over the silky feeling of the combat boots. The red haired girl was not tall, probably around 5’2. Her shoulders were rolled back and she was walking carefully behind the elderly dog. I stared at her enchanting eyes. They weren’t enchanting because of their color or size or shape, but because of the soul that gazed out of them. The red haired girl reminded me of home. Not the kind of home I live in currently, or any kind of home I have ever known. Not a home with your parents and brothers where it's loud and there is fighting and chaos but still close ties. Not a home with your friends where there is joking and teasing. She was the home I have longed for all my life. She was the home of peace and reading your favorite book by a fireplace, with nowhere to go and no things to do besides just be. She was a home of calm beauty like lapping waves. And I will never know this home, not as I long to.  

I broke the millisecond of eye contact with the red haired girl, feeling my cheeks heat up and my heart beat so loudly I was afraid she would hear it. I turned to the opposite direction that she was coming, perpendicular to the red brick path. I ran away from her, spreading my stride out and making sure I didn’t trip and embarrass myself again. This girl will never know how I felt seeing her, nor feel this way about me. Sunlight glared off of a car as it stopped at the red stop sign in front of me. The wind swirled leaves above my head in a pepper tree. I stopped and panted for air suddenly. My heart thudded fast and loud from my chest, sounding like a drum beating to the tempo of Come Together by the Beatles. Good song, but it reminded me of the red-haired girl. I stared at my shoes, contemplating the idiocy of what I had just done. A bird chirped happily behind me, and my head snapped up to glare at the yellow winged creature. It tilted its head to mock me. I spun around, hoping that the red haired girl would be behind me and I could ask her the million things on my mind. My breath hitched as I realized she was nowhere to be seen. The creaking of a worn, out of shape heart, exhausted with a dramatic flurry of emotion when it had not felt in ages. This heart of mine gasped and wheezed, amazed at how it must feel to meet a soulmate. The wind sent another gust, echoing the silence in my ears. The mocking yellow bird flew away, taunting me with it’s freedom. My goosebumps reappeared as I stood there, my mind still infatuated with the red haired girl. Billions of thoughts raced through my mind as I stood like a statue. I wrapped my fingers around the corner of my shirt, shame washing my mind like a bucket of ice water. I rubbed the linen between my fingers, it was smooth and light but the crease in the fabric was rough like sand. Stray strands of hair fell in my face, poking my eyes and tickling my forehead. I pushed them behind my ears, looking up at the sky and cursing the fate that hated me. How dare this world introduce me for so little of time to a beautiful girl I long to know but will never?

[sapphic-book-bean]

dude the number of times i have done this :0

starting a new tv series like

**straight people can reblog but don't add anything**

[sapphic-book-bean]

dude im kinda getting some lowkey gay panic vibes from this also the girl with glasses is really pretty dunno who she is tho

WONDER WOMAN 1984 (2020) dir. Patty Jenkins

[sapphic-book-bean]

booookkkkssssss

flashback to freshman year in highschool when i was supposed to write about someplace i would want to go (anywhere in the world) and i wrote 300 words on a bookstore in paris... honestly i looked it up it was really cool - writers could stay there and volunteer and live in a bookstore while writing a book anyway im insane have a nice day

[sapphic-book-bean]

dude i have like 100 books where main characters are gayyy :0

Enjoy this homemade meme

[sapphic-book-bean]

dude i had an obsession with artemis as a kid reading percy jackson and everything and my friend once asked me when we were talking about who/what we would be in the series and i say hunter of artemis and she ask me ‘what will you do without boys’ and i say i dont need them girls are cooler --- and that was before i knew i was gay lol

[sapphic-book-bean]

i- i dont even - i cant.... all of them......... oh no

[sapphic-book-bean]

i have 55 everything but dyed hair - because my parents wont let meeee :(

what's your gay score??

cannot sit correctly +10

emotionally unstable +10

dyed hair +5

boots +5

deeply invested in politics due to your very rights being constantly questioned +10

iffy relationship with father +15

has a Tumblr +5

addicted to either iced coffee or energy drinks +10

[sapphic-book-bean]

Hi

hi hi

me Aj

pls have nice day :)