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my favorite thing is drawing janeway if she were really cool (out of the closet)

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How’d you get into weaving/fiber art?

you've activated my trap card

I was in a toxic yaoi relationship with crochet for a good 6-7 years. I needed something to keep my hands busy (I otherwise would just rip apart my nails/mindlessly destroy whatever I'd be holding), and liked using colorful yarn, but I never felt good enough at my skills (or, importantly, a drive to improve my skills) and progress past, "let me just crochet this rectangle until I'm out of yarn". I was very adamant that I was decent at rectangles, but if you asked me to make a square you might as well have asked me to do rocket science. (granny squares are fine, they just get boring and I don't like having to do color changes all the time).

Here are some of my crochet creations. You will never see me make any of these again:

^^^ scarf (2 skeins of Mrs. Crosby 100% merino superwash in color 'A New Leaf', for those wondering) for my mom with the moss/concrete/linen/woven stitch, whatever it's called when you do a single crochet, chain, repeat. Whenever I'd do any other stitch pattern I'd fuck up my ends and make trapezoids instead of rectangles. the important part to know about this is it took 24 straight hours of constant, 110% speed to make this, not including breaks. remember that for the test later

^^^ Same type of scarf (I lost the label for this yarn, most likely a merino Madelinetosh unfortunately) I made for myself. Eventually I sold it at an art fair for double the price of my other WOVEN scarves because again this takes One Million Years to make

^^^ made this for a friend in a blind, shakespearean frenzy over a winter break (meaning I had to start and finish it within 2 weeks). Don't Fucking Ask Me To Ever Do This Again. My dear friend loves it very much which is always worth the effort. Made of like $75 of Bernat blanket yarn (10 gauge I think), then used pixilart dot com to map out the design. there are actual good stitch counter/design tracker websites if you're Normal.

I never got into knitting because knitting requires math and foresight and I'm a nearsighted english major.

To answer the question of how I got into weaving,--

In spring of 2024, my best friend's-dad's-client's-sister unfortunately passed. The client didn't want the yarn to be donated randomly or go to waste, so he asked if my best friend (who's also crafty) wanted it/wanted to be a Yarn Dealer and said yes and immediately contacted me if I wanted some. This is thousands of dollars worth of yarn (more offscreen), and apparently this was only a tenth of that lady's collection. My bestie got 3 tubs and I got four vvv

I have five of those ikea decorative cardboard storage boxes FULL of yarn, both from Yarn Lady and from me forgetting I have plenty yarn and buying more anyways. For a crocheter, this would be a lifetime supply. But I Hated Crocheting despite doing it all the time, and I wanted a different way to 1. do something with my hands and 2. get rid of all this godt dang yarn.

I had always been intrigued with weaving. In my head, it would be approximately two hand movements to make a whole row, rather than a single stitch. Winter break of this past year (2024), the idea of weaving got really into my head. When I got back to college (WSU not UI), I immediately went to the local yarn store of the area (The Yarn Underground in Moscow, Idaho, by beloved). I had already been in the store a couple times, mostly just following my friend around while she picked out yarn and supplies for herself, but this time I was in for me. I had already done research online but I still wanted to ask the Super Nice And Fun And Bantery Owner what extra bits I would need to make quality-of-life easier. I got an Ashford 10 Inch Sample-It loom and some other bits for around $210 and that loom has been my ride or die since. (I have recently gotten a Bergman 4-shaft floor loom but I haven't set it up yet, it's a bit scary tbh).

Weaving is so much more rewarding than crocheting imo. I'm still baffled despite weaving for 9 months now that I can get a full-length (7 foot long) scarf done in 24 hours total, with like sleeping and eating and working and living and all that. When I was still in school I would warp at around 9pm at night, sleep (8-10 hours), wake up and do classes, take my loom to work (I worked at a very laid-back espresso bar at closing, they let me get away with a lot of shit), and I would be taking the scarf off the loom at 9pm and warp for the next day.

Weaving is super rewarding and I'm also the kind of person that has to constantly be doing something. I don't rest well; even on my days off I'm still doing and working and moving. This has helped me so much in terms of focusing that restless energy. I get to sit, do repetitive motions, watch tv and eventually get paid for it. I've signed up for two craft fairs later this year so I'm currently working on building stock for those. Idk it's especially rewarding for me because when I was in elementary/middle school I wanted more than anything to be an entrepreneur (big word for a 10 year old), like I love the logistics of small-business maintenance. It's a weird thing because ethically I'm Not A Capitalist but I'm so autistically wired to be one. Inside of you are two wolves--

If you don't mind some shameless plugging, here's my Etsy and Instagram:

And then here's a sneak peak at this week's products (it's entirely possible that I take this first orange-yellow-olive one for myself. I'm pretty good at not "foster failing" considering I don't really like wearing scarves that often, but fuck dude I love this first one too much).

Most of my long-stretches-of-fabric can either be used as scarves or table runners (or whatever you need long fabric for), I usually differentiate the two based on material and not length. I've also got some drink coasters but those are a bit tedious with tying the fringes, and I'm just trying to bulk up my products for the aforementioned art fairs.

so yeah. that's how I got into weaving.

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Torri Higginson in Stargate Atlantis: Season 1 Episode 3 "Hide and Seek" (2004)

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Steve: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

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middle aged woman superhero. a vigilauntie if you will.

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Thinking about them to this song makes me ill 😦

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"why did you stop writing your story!!! never stop writing!!!!!!!!!!!" well you see the character had to drive one mile to a new location and the sentence "she got into the car" was quite simply my undoing

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okokok so because i was taking all these darn notes while watching s1 of due south I feel like I should share some of my favourite ones.

the full list went like this:

fraser gets hurt/puts himself in danger

some fraser quirks

fraser is kind

ray does things for fraser/is emotionally affected by fraser

fraser's guilt/shame/lack of introspection

magical realism

things they do together casually

institutions/organisations are callous/uncaring/corrupt

every time fraser is uncomfortably hit on/doesn't realise flirting is a thing

bob fraser and benton fraser

ray family lore

ray is a good investigator

misc notes

can't claim i caught every moment, but certainly... Patterns 👀

SO: ONE - - fraser getting hurt/putting himself in danger. not all of these are his fault, but certainly... some of them make me (and ray) want to shake some self-preservation in him. perhaps some self-care. self-awareness. self... self. (see also, fraser's lack of introspection, which really... sir. you're so good at making connections, right up until it's about your own personhood)

(didn't count every time someone's shooting at him, that's just... pretty much every episode).

- PILOT

- - - - goes out in below 50 to catch a criminal - - - - thrown out of a window (by ray, to get out of a bomb blast) - - - - throws himself onto several cars heavily - - - - then lets himself get dragged by a van - - - - then knocks into several signs as he’s on top of the van - - - - then is bodily thrown off the van when it crashes, but does do a drop-roll to break the fall (pretty cool) - - - - a general amount of getting shot at being counted, because he deliberately invites the bad guys to come for him - - - - throws himself off a sled to lure a man off a cliff - - - - waits for gerrard to make the decision whether or not to shoot him, (although this is different to most of his "standing in front of a gun" examples, in that he didn't do this on purpose) - EPISODE ONE: FREE WILLY

- - - - tries to enrage a bad guy enough so that she'll try to shoot him, in order to give ray time to stop her - EPISODE TWO: DIEF’S DAY OFF

- - - - throws himself into a room with a bunch of bad guys without thinking in orer to save a little girl – gets beaten up - EPISODE THREE: MANHUNT

- - - - gets hit over the head with an iron bar - - - - gets his hand smacked with an iron bar (ow) - - - - gets stabbed in the thigh (owwww) – - - - as soon as possible goes out to fight again, although at least ray gives him aspirin. Gets punched a bunch during these fights - EPISODE FOUR: THEY EAT HORSES - - - - frozen in a meatlocker - EPISODE FIVE: PIZZAS

- - - - throws himself on a moving car - - - - is thrown off the moving car - - - - stands IN FRONT OF a car coming at him - - - - THEN AGAIN THINKING RAY WILL GET HER (SIR!!!) NOTHING IN EPISODE SIX (?) - EPISODE SEVEN/EIGHT: CHICAGO

- - - - gets thrown off a taxi after it makes a sudden stop - - - - gets thrown off a bus after he gets blinded by cameras - - - - urges a woman to shoot him with her final bullet to get the girl to safety NOTHING IN EPISODE NINE (?) - EPISODE TEN: WHEELMAN

- - - - thinks nothing about stepping into a gasoline soaked trap - EPISODE ELEVEN: REMEMBER

- - - - threatens to jump out of ray’s moving car if ray doesn’t stop - EPISODE TWELVE: HAWK AND A HANDSAW

- – - - climbs out a window to stop a man from jumping off a ledge - - - - allows himself to get institutionalised (although doesn't swallow the unknown pill he's given, since it's evidence) - - - - dislocates his arm to get out of a straitjacket - - - - is at-risk of getting injected with... poison? - - - - bursts through a window to stop another man from jumping off a ledge, hanging over the edge, gripping him by the ankles (ray also climbed out next to him) - EPISODE THIRTEEN: EYE FOR AN EYE

- - - - steps in front of another person with a gun to stop him shooting someone (does then step aside to let him make a moral choice on his own) - EPISODE FOURTEEN: THE MAN WHO KNEW

- - - - hangs onto the back of a car and gets dragged along a gravelly snowy sludgy road for a bit - EPISODE FIFTEEN: THE WILD BUNCH

- - - - TECHNICALLY NO BUT THE EMOTIONAL HURT HE WAS DOING TO HIMSELF COUNTS!!!! - EPISODE SIXTEEN: THE BLUE LINE

- - - - stands in front of a man with a gun AGAIN (played for laughs, because this time the danger is from all the other people in the store with guns) - - - - then gets hit in the head with a bottle (ends up with visible wound on his ear) - - - - lures the bad guys towards him to save the mean hockey player - EPISODE SEVENTEEN: THE DEAL

- - - - falls through a glass door in pursuit of bad guys - - - - gets beaten into near-unconsciousness - - – - and then almost shot to death. Very saintlike of him - EPISODE EIGHTEEN: HEAVEN AND EARTH

- - - - runs towards a car about to explode and gets thrown back NOTHING AS SUCH IN EPISODE NINETEEN TECHNICALLY ALTHOUGH THE HAVING TO SURVIVE THIS WOMAN’S WHOLE “THING” SURE IS HARD FOR HIM, NOT TO MENTION THE GARBAGE TRUCK, SO KINDA.... HE DOES GET SHOT AT BUT IT'S NOT REALLY ALL HIS THING. LIKE A LIGHTER VERSION OF THE WILD BUNCH, SIR YOUR IDEALS AREN'T WORTH THIS - EPISODE TWENTY/TWENTY-ONE: VICTORIA’S SECRET

- - - - EMOTIONALLY!!! PUTS HIMSELF THROUGH THE WRINGER!!!! BECAUSE HE “OWES” HER!!!! DAMMIT FRASER (see point 5) - - - - the whole story about how he nearly froze to death while pursuing her (also mentioned in you must remember this and invitation to love) - - - - (insert debate about whether having sex with her is self-harm or if this is a super chill not at all dubcon-like thing for him to do) - - - - puts himself in danger to “save” her from getting stabbed at the zoo and gets his hand cut - - - - and then immediately gets thrown down a fake waterfall - - - - the amount of danger when he’s getting the diamonds - - - - jumps off a roof to escape and nearly gets run over by victoria - - - - stands in front of her gun twice - - - - gets shot by ray (for good reasons) - EPISODE TWENTY-TWO: LETTING GO

- - - - a lot of talk about scars, including the one he got in “manhunt” and (possibly?) “the deal”? (jumping through a glass plane of some kind, that one did seem like the most aggressive one) - there’s also one where he jumped off a cliff as a younger man. And the otter bully from when he was ten (mentioned in "the deal") - - - - refuses to acknowledge pain with the physiotherapist, but luckily she keeps an eye out for his nonsense - - - - slams a wheelchair into Stuff and knocks his head quite severely - - - - drags himself up a series of stairs - - - - puts himself in front of another gun. Dammit fraser! STANDS IN FRONT OF GUNS DELIBERATELY: 6 or 7 times (not counting the times he’s not doing so Very Deliberately + in the pilot when it’s his own gun and he knows there are no bullets) THROWN OFF CARS/DRAGGED BY CARS/STANDING IN FRONT OF CARS/CAR NONSENSE: 12ish times (counting several incidents as one if involving the same car, also including the garbage truck) MOST OUCH: Shot in the back, beaten half to death, stabbed in the thigh, serious emotionally hurt over the course of two episodes and ten years.... this not even counting the serious emotional hurt caused by his father over the course of his whole life

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rewatched the due south pilot again with someone new. gradually pspspspspspssss at everyone i know about this show.

but yeah, two scenes really stick out to me this time about ray in terms of core features in how i come at him:

the second time they meet: their first meeting did not go well, he thought fraser had ruined his case, he was generally quite done with Stuff (and later on of course we will learn more about why he's so run down), there's this stranger demanding his time, and oh- oops he's just insulted his dead father accidentally and, huh, this oddity of a person is taking it pretty well to be honest... the second time they meet is entirely on ray. he seeks fraser out having done research on the case, but first he apologises to him very sincerely for having said those words. that is the first, big thing that ray offers fraser (the next, of course, is giving over his entire life and soul to him, but i don't think he realised that in that moment...)

after he gets blown up and is lying in hospital: he apologises again, this time for screwing things up. we know by now that he had a bad relationship with his own five-years-dead father who never thought he was good enough, that he's struggling under his caseload at work, we've got a sense he isn't super respected there either, and although we've met his family which is actually very loving (if loud and argumentative) he's giving a sense of being pretty lost in the world at that point and nothing that happened before was his fault. he's been helping fraser, against his superior's wishes, done some good sleuthing/detective work, and saved fraser by putting himself in front of the explosion. and then he apologises

I feel like a lot of the time ray's thought about in terms of his abrasiveness with people generally, his shield against the world he's quick to assume the worst of people and doesn't let others in, but fraser neatly bypasses those walls. on purpose? by accident? bit of both? i think he does sincerely See more to ray in their first scene, the "like you, he is pretending to be someone he's not" line feels like it's talking about more than just ray having been undercover in the previous scene, and because he's fraser he never belittles or mocks or gets aggressive about ray's behaviours throughout their first meeting, which probably also draws him in on top of the need to Make Things Right

i think beneath some of the goofier stuff (which, honestly, i dont think theres thaaat much of, but id have to do a proper count and parallel how many times he's there as "comic relief" vs when fraser is, and also times where ray is shown to be extremely competent which is often -- maybe i'd wish for more dramatic episodes for him but that's more to do with how good marciano's acting is than a real disservice done to ray himself) and the more petulant/childish manifestations of insecurities (it's hard being friends with a Saint, as he puts it very fairly in my opinion, although i also think that line partially relates to some other stuff he'd said about Fraser Please Taking Better Care Of Himself throughout the whole season) there's this ray, and that core is quite obvious pretty much from the get-go

a ray who meets sincerity with sincerity and takes fraser in with honestly barely any prompting at all on fraser's part. a man who maybe was desperate for something/one to believe in, who isn't super macho about admitting fault, and then -- in the hospital scene -- a man who's so used to thinking of himself as a screw-up to the point that he'll apologise for getting blown up to save fraser

there's a lot ray gives fraser. for one thing, fraser would be dead multiple times over without him. but ray Needed him to appear in his life in order to get through the damn day. he saw some storybook larger-than-life weirdo and grabbed hold of him immediately and then realised that the rest of the world seemed to want to eat said weirdo alive and pretty much said over my dead body and he's done pretty well living up to that

did, though, very much appreciated fraser finally properly telling him in red white or blue how much he means to him and how valued he is, because ray doesn't always see it. (funnily enough, they had another bomb threatening to detonate at the time. almost a full circle)

two scenes in which ray says sorry, one in which he was right to do so and one in which he was wrong. there's more to it, but that's the... Thing im thinking about

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Today I got to see my book on the shelf of my childhood library.

It was quite emotional haha

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no such thing as wasting your 20s your 20s are for recovering from whatever the fuck happened to you as a kid so that youre ready to get weird with it in your 30s

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23 years old and I just made the connection that people on the northern hemisphere have a different view of the moon than people on the southern hemisphere.

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Juliet is Bleeding (02x07)