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Last Saturday, we saw each other again. And God, I missed everything, his touch, his hugs, the way he kissed my forehead, his kiss… him. Every bit of him. 🥺

Pero hindi kami. 🥺

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It’s my birthday today. His greetings made my day. Nasave niya na sa phone niya Birthdate ko. Kakakilig naman.

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I’m craving intimacy.

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Dear God,

I don’t even know if this prayer will reach You, but I’m writing it anyway, through tears I’ve shed countless nights. I cry for a kind of pain I can’t even name. It’s not the kind that disappears by morning; it visits me every day without fail. It hurts when I’m alone, but it hurts even more when I’m surrounded by people. Because even in a room full of laughter, I still feel alone in this pain.

Please help me accept the things I can’t change, the things I’ve prayed for that may never come true. Help me surrender the desires of my heart that You did not intend for me.

Help me accept that maybe I will never become a mother. I ache when I hear my friends talk about their children. I try to be happy for them, but deep inside, I grieve for something I may never have. Maybe You know something I don’t. Maybe You know I wouldn’t be able to care for a child the way they deserve. If that’s why You’ve withheld this from me, help me trust Your reason. Help my heart let go of what it longs for.

Help me accept that maybe I won’t find a partner in life. That maybe I was meant to go through this journey alone. Teach me how to hold myself, to find joy in solitude, to be my own home even when everyone else seems to have someone to come home to.

Help me release the one my heart still longs for. If we’re not meant to be, please take him away completely, because loving him from afar is tearing me apart. Even if my feelings run deep, let me find peace in the distance.

Help me accept that I may never be “enough” in the ways the world measures people. That I may never be the best at work, or in school, or even in my own family. Help me accept that I have limits, and still find worth in myself despite them.

Forgive me for all the questions I keep throwing at You, why this, why me, why now. I just need You to hear me. I need You to stay. Because my heart is so heavy and I have no one else to hold it with me.

Please give me peace. Not in the form of answers, but in the kind of silence where my heart can finally rest.

Love,

Pam

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Last night was not a good cry. It was so heavy that I begged God to remove the unknown pain.

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Saan at kanino ka lumalapit kapag magulo na ang mundo at di mo na kaya nararamdaman mo?

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—Fyodor Dostoevsky

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Salma Deera, "Salt"

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Sylvia Plath, from "Three Women," featured in The Collected Poems of Sylvia Plath

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Sobrang sakit nanaman Lord.

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Iniisip niya kaya ako gaya ng matinding pagiisip ko sakanya araw araw?

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megan lynne

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happy valentine’s day!! 💌

Victorian puzzle purse | Vladimir Mayakovsky in a letter to Lili Brik | Lindsay Bird | @waferqueen | @inkskinned | @anxeious | @/my-teen-quote | Langston Hughes | @/thelist

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I saw you in my dreams, you’re kissing another girl. 😭

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Kapag nakakakita ako ng anything related sa Wedding. Sumasakit dibdib ko. Happy akong hindi ako makakasal sa ex ko. Pero yung thought na nagplan na ako ng future sa taong yun sa extent na yun then ginago lang ako. Sobrang nakakatrauma yun.