sassymikka

[sassymikka]

I know my sadness isn't beautiful—it consists of nightmares, moments of being jaded, and times of getting so down and exhausted—that it's filled with thorns that might cause me to just bleed again and again; but I have learnt how to embrace its pain. Not because I want to stay on that phase of my life for so long, but only to understand why I must have and feel it. Experiences taught me that in order to have a meaningful life, I must feel both sadness and happiness; be in torment and in the process of healing; be on my own, but also reach for people once I need it. 🤍

[sassymikka]

"NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, SEE YOU AT HOME."

A lot of people think that living as a couple is always peachy, but this is the real reality.

Living with the person you love is not what everyone thinks it is. You don’t wake up early in the morning for breakfast together in bed every morning. It's not snuggling in bed together until you sleep peacefully every night. It's not always having the house clean and food freshly made every day.

Living with the person you love is arguing for simple things, like who forgot to take out the trash, it's sleeping because the day has been hard and you're exhausted, it's arguing over financial issues, it's someone who takes your bedsheets away when you sleep and you wake up in the cold.

But despite everything, every day you expect to see that person eagerly or go home everyday to meet that same person you know loves you and cares about you. You laugh together the moment you do something funny, it's intimacy with each other, it's cooking dinner together as you talk and making it easier because you both had a complicated day.

It's living an emotional crisis and having someone who sits next to you, hugs you and tells you that everything will be fine and you believe it.

It's loving that same person even when it drives you freaking crazy and pulls you out of your box.

Living with the person you love is arguing for silly things constantly, but it's also having a love that many people spend their lives looking for. It’s the times that people try to break you up, but the love was stronger. It's not perfect and it's very difficult to keep it balanced every day, but it's wonderful and the best you can experience, because if it were easy it wouldn't be worth it. That's why every day you think,

”NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, SEE YOU AT HOME.” ❤️

[sassymikka]

Iba rin talaga ang kapangyarihan ng musika. Kaya ka nitong dalhin sa mundong tanging ikaw lang ang makaririnig. Tangan mo ang bawat salita na pupukaw sa iyong damdaming tila sumasabay sa indak ng bawat pintig ng iyong puso. Alam mo ba na ikaw ang aking musika?

Ikaw ang pagtakas ko sa reyalidad na punong-puno ng pagbabago. Ikaw ang nais kong kapiling, gaano man kadilim ang aking tatahakin. Ikaw ang aking pahinga, ang dahilan ng bawat pag-ngiti at paminsan-minsang paghikbi, ang puno't dulo ng aking pagpapatuloy.

Ikaw ang aking musika— mapagpalaya at makabuluhan.

[sassymikka]

Happy Birthday Almar ♡

Dear past stranger, future husband, to my boyfriend who i still kinda love but totally hate.

As I am about to go to sleep tonight, I look at my phone and found you and your smiling face. Accidentally, I smiled too.

Guess you never heard me tell you how blessed I am to be your other half. I’m shy, y’know were not that showy to each other, but just to let you know though you may not be the most handsome guy i’ve met, the richest man i could ever imagine, you’ll remain as the luckiest man that i had, am and will love.

I admit that there are times that I tend to be weak and just wanted to give up, leave and forget all there is about us. But you were always there, your mere presence feels like telling me that I shouldn’t for we’ll be spending the future together. Yes Babe, I know we will despite of all our problems and challenges facing right now.

You had seen me at my worst, my best and my hottest, (rawr) haha! And you appreciate all of it. You never fail to tell me how good I look, I dress and how great I talk and do stuffs. You make me feel as if I am a likable person. You make me feel woman. You make me feel blessed. You make me feel loved.  You make me happy..

I seriously cannot imagine my life without you. I know it’s cheesy but I am telling the truth. And the truth does not hurt, it’s a preparation for us to be healed. To grow and to start again..

Cliche as it may sound but you are one of the best things that happened to me. I love you, Through ups and downs.

Stay with me, I want you to be the witness of my success, my battles, shoulder to cry on when i failed, the man I will see waiting for me at the altar someday and eventually be the man of my future kiddos. My poetry would serve as a reminder that once in my life, I was able to feel deeply and was able to pour all my emotions on writing. It would be the most painful, yet wonderful reminder that once in my life, I was able to do things I never thought I could. That once in my life, I've fallen truly, madly and deeply in love. And it's all because of you.

I love you Daddy, will forever do. I wish nothing but the best. Happy Birthday Almar Jerome P. Dela Cruz ♡

[sassymikka]

To. Almar,

Thank you. You showed me the thousand capacities in me. You showed me I can be me, once again. You showed me that a simple place can be extraordinary if you will just give it a chance. You made me realized that I'm missing a lot while keeping myself in my comfort zone.

Thank you. You showed up when I thought I am the only one in the dark. You held my hand when I don't even want to reach yours. You stayed when all I did is push you away.

And I'm really sorry. People don't like messy, after all. It took me months to realize that I need to understand you more— when I thought I already knew everything about you. With this, please let me stay by your side. Please let me understand how you feel, how I can deal with every emotion you have, and how I can love you more, and better.

I am thankful to have you, I love you, my bright place. Looking forward, no lies, no secrets. New beginnings 🤍

[sassymikka]

Our New home 👩‍❤️‍👨

[sassymikka]

My Safest place.

We all have these downfalls, failures, defeats, and heartbreaks. We have these days when the universe seems to conspire against us, like it enjoys playing a trick over us and we're allowed to feel bad about it, to feel sorry for ourselves, and to feel miserable..

But in between these days, I hope we still find the strength to allow ourselves to feel good, to breathe well and smile. Just because the world puts you in an unlikely situation, doesn't mean you can't make the best out of it.

Allow me to tell you this: you are allowed to be happy, no matter how unfortunate events seem to be. I am the luckiest girl in the world because I have the bravest, strongest and lasty the best boyfriend. I am grateful to you for changing my life. Sorry for all the mistakes, for being a childish brat, for all the burdens i caused you.. Thank you for accepting all my flaws; my imperfections. For sticking around, and reminding me that even broken things can be loved. I promise that I’ll stay by your side most specially to your hardest and lowest point of time.. Thank you for everything you do, and everything that you are.. I Love you.

25th of August 2021

[sassymikka]

I keep disappearing whenever I feel like I'm shattering inside. Not even a single person can ever talk to me, because no one can handle my raging emotions when I'm at the edge of falling apart. I keep disappearing and nobody knows how miserable I am during these times. It became a habit to me, to disappear every time I don't have the courage to face the world.. And then I'll come back as if nothing happened. I come back as if I never cried alone in the dark.

I keep disappearing whenever I feel like I'm about to give-up. The more I feel tired, the quicker I disappear. It seems like it became my escape from everything, and sometimes, I just don't want to come back anymore. I just want to disappear and never come back again.

[sassymikka]

I don't think many people around me know how hard I am to myself. How there are so many days when my frustrations would get to me, and more often than not, how I would just keep all the broken pieces inside my head and let them eat me from the inside. That is why I will always have a special place in my heart for the silent cheers. For the corny jokes to perk me up, the warm hugs. Those simple gestures, those beautiful people—they're the ones that pull the pieces of my world back together. And I know for a fact that even after winning all the battles I have in life, they're the ones my heart will always remember.

[sassymikka]

To, A

"How does it feel like falling for a strange?" I have been asked so many times.

Falling for you feels like reading my favorite book for the very first time. Its exciting, and i read every single page thoroughly, word by word it feels like it has always understood the way I feel, pages are like stories of both baloney and sorrow, and every chapter are secrets we kept and tell each other. All this time I felt like its better to love someone where you dont even have to try, but with you, I tried and took time to know what bothers you, what you hate the most, the things your uncomfortable with, your favorite food, your dream destination, your pet peeves and anything that makes you, You. I want to know every detail, from how you like your hot choco in the morning to how you like to end the day. It looks like it needs a lot of work or effort, but it never felt like its something I needed to do, its something I wanted and Im passionate about it. If this is how it feels like to fall for someone new, then it felt great..

And im glad that its you now. And I'd love to know how far this will go. Because until now, nothing excites me more than listening to every little thing about you that just made you a whole lot special. I will always love to hear your voice every time you sang your favorite rap songs in-front of the ocean. I will never get tired of listening. I will always be here. In front of you as I stare in how your eyes sparkles with excitement. Thank you for giving me a home when I felt alone. I will love you whole heartedly, in all ways possible. To the moon and back. ♡

[sassymikka]

I know I shouldn’t be, but there are times when I feel jealous of the people who have it all figured out already. I don’t know — I guess I’m just tired of waking up in the middle of the night, asking myself a hundred questions over and over while staring at the ceiling, listening to some piano music which never fails to calm me and my anxious mind.I guess I’m just tired of browsing the internet and silently comparing my life with that of my friends’, tired of having to count the days till it’s Friday again or till the next payday so I can buy myself something that’ll make me happy for a little while.

Funny, but I really can’t seem to figure it out.

When you’re young, people would say “Dream big!”, then you go on to see a lot of people die a dreamer. Such a thing makes us change because we eventually learn that the key to happiness is achievable dreams, so what happens is that we dream, we grow up, and then we change our dreams. We settle for less and forget about finding out what’s on rainbow’s end.I see a lot of people every day — street vendors, carpenters, drivers. I’m sure that they’re not living the life they dreamed of when they were little, but every day I can tell that they’re happy. I can see it from the way they smile when they talk to people, or when I say “thank you” to them. I guess it’s safe to say that yes, I’m jealous of those people.

I hope that if one day, life tells me that my dreams aren’t written in my star, I can find the courage to accept it with an open heart and still be able to look at the night sky and see the beauty in this universe. ♡ 09-Jul-2021

[sassymikka]

Pipiliin ka sa araw araw ❤️

[sassymikka]

Mikkaela’s 💭

I am an extrovert type of a person, I tend to have a lot of friends, I laugh a lot, I easily find happiness even to small stuffs. But these days and age, I noticed myself stuck in a dark room fighting the shadow of me almost every night. I always felt this strange feeling and I hate that I constantly get sad in life, like, where did my enthusiasm go? I wanna go back to the old me because I feel like this isn't me anymore.

But I'm thinking, maybe these are part of being a human. Being happy, getting sad and hurt, sometimes strong then weak again. Maybe this cycle is purposely being repeated to mold me, to make me give up from detesting myself and just love whatever me "being I am". I don't know if these thoughts are just here to lessen this heaviness but I hope one day, I'll learn to love myself - both the jolly and the overthinker one.

[sassymikka]

Kapag nagpumilit kang habulin ang pangarap, doon mo lang malalaman na hindi pala tumatakbo ang oras, kundi pinaiikot ka lamang nito sa kinatatayuan mo— hanggang sa matutuhan at maunawaan mong sadyang mabagal ang ating pag-usad at may masasayang kang oras na dapat mong bawiin sa bagong darating na bukas.

[sassymikka]

Let God Fight your Battle 💚

Sometimes, when it’s raining, I look at the window and think of the dreams I was never able to achieve. I'd look at my feet and wonder how I never made it off the ground when I’ve always wanted to fly, then I'd think of all the opportunities I know I deserve but I was never given. I don’t know, I guess it’s life living up to its reputation of being unfair and so it made it rain luck on the other side of the street instead. Maybe I had been busy with things I’m not supposed to be busy with that before I knew it, time has already flown and everyone has already gotten the best of me. Or, you know, maybe I’m just not good enough. But whatever the case is, I know that I will always be fine.

I may sometimes look at the rain and think of those pipe dreams, maybe feel a little sad, but I’ll never get tired of dreaming. I promised myself that I never will no matter what happens. That’s what we do, I learned, those of us not lucky enough to have everything in our hands. We dream, we grow up, and then we change our dreams. We figure out that some things are just not possible to get no matter how hard we work for them, so we just accept it and go for the smaller, more achievable ones instead—and there’s nothing wrong with that. One can't scale contentment based on how simple or grand a dream is, after all. So I guess I’m just looking forward to the day when my heart will be filled with happiness and satisfaction that I don't have to wander anymore, but for now, I’ll just carry on and promise to never lose hope. I can do that. How can I not, when the stars above me are always so beautiful?

People say that when it’s time, all the stars and the universe will conspire.

[sassymikka]

No matter how life beats you up, we have to wipe the tears off our face and stand up for a new day..

[sassymikka]

HBD MARIS : You Deserve the World ♡

Dear Bestfriend,

I think you deserve the world, yet somehow I don’t think you always see that. But I want you to know, I often find my own self wondering what I did to deserve you as your bestfriend. You taught me what a soulmate really is, and I wouldn’t be able to survive without having you in my life. Remember college days? Haha You come in to people’s lives with a purpose and you change them. You make every single person around you better, without even realizing it.. Because you’ll hold them while they cry, and then be ready to beat down the person that made them cry ten minutes later (social media hate haha) You’ll make them laugh even when they’re sad and you’ll forgive them for what they said when they were mad. You believe in them even when they don’t believe in themselves. You’re there for them even when they haven’t always been there for you. And you care for them before you even care for yourself. 💯

But you’re not only what everyone else around you needs. You’re all that you need. Because you are so much stronger than you have even begun to realize. You’re honest and caring. You’re hilarious and intelligent. You’re strong and compassionate. You’re beautiful inside and out. You change people, but you don’t let people change you. And don’t ever let them. Never let any single person come in to your life and make you believe that you ever have to be more of anything because you’re already more than all of us combined. And I know you will never see yourself in the way that I have written here, but just know that I see it in you every single day. It’s why you deserve the world. Because you change it. Happy Birthday Maris! Thank you for always reminding me that life is not only be happy all the time. Purpose of life is to feel. You must understand that happiness and pain are both essential. I love you so much to the moon and back.

Love,

One Of The Many Lives You’ve Saved