satiricaladvice

[satiricaladvice]

Coworkers owe me money because they’re bad at their jobs

Coworkers owe me money because they’re bad at their jobs

Hi I’m not wrong,

I’m preparing to ask for a large raise – one that would likely not be feasible across all the teapot manufacturers at a small department of a large company that has a culture of consistent pay by job title. I have a few examples of doing additional work because my coworkers were too busy, even though I’m objectively busier than them. Is there a polite way to say that I do more,…

[satiricaladvice]

My sexually active daughter wants to have sex!

My sexually active daughter wants to have��sex!

Today’s letter is from Dear Prudence: Hypocrites: I have had a huge fight with my college-age daughter over her boyfriend coming to visit her at home this summer. She wants him to be able to stay in her room rather than with her brothers. Her dad and I are not comfortable about her having sex under our roof. She blew up and said that all the adults in our family are hypocrites about sex—she…

[satiricaladvice]

If you’re vague about chores, I’ll be vague about doing chores

If you’re vague about chores, I’ll be vague about doing chores

A letter that is not wrong to Captain Awkward: Dear Captain, Every year I go on holiday in a cottage somewhere with the same group of 10 people. It’s lovely and a really important chance to catch up with old friends I don’t see enough. But every year I end up resenting the half of them who don’t pull their weight with the chores. Not all of us are decent cooks, and it seems perfectly reasonable…

[satiricaladvice]

Daughter Remote Controlled by Mom Needs to Hack Mainframe

Daughter Remote Controlled by Mom Needs to Hack Mainframe

A letter that is not wrong, from Captain Awkward: “Dear Captain Awkward, I did not grow up in a house that did conflict- I joke (but not really) that I wish my parents had fought in front of their children. Because there was never an emphasis on healthy conflict, all conflict equals bad conflict. While I feel that I can talk to my dad about issues, the real problem is my mom. When my mom calls…

[satiricaladvice]

I deserve this job!

I deserve this job!

Today’s letter comes from Ask a Manager: I have been going through a very rigorous interviewing process for a permanent job in a firm where I have been undergoing a two-month post-college training program/paid internship which is very prestigious and only very few trainees are offered the permanent job. It would be my first proper job after finishing university. I have worked very hard during the…

[satiricaladvice]

Text Messages Control Your Life and You Can Never Escape

Text Messages Control Your Life and You Can Never Escape

A letter that is not wrong from Miss Manners: DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the appropriate action to take when one receives a text message that obviously was meant to go to someone else? I’ve always deleted them as soon as I realize they’re not for me, but I’ve been told recently I should be replying with a “wrong number” message. I must admit that part of the reason I simply delete them is that I…

[satiricaladvice]

A letter from Dear Wendy: “I think my boyfriend and his sister are TOO close. His Instagram is covered with pictures of her (she’s in about 90% of the pictures he posts). He doesn’t even post pictures of the two of us despite that we’ve been together almost a year. When he gets good news or something cool happens he speed dials his sister to tell her, even if he is with me. He calls her multiple…

[satiricaladvice]

How could 20 years of experience possibly compare to the piece of paper I got after 4 years of study!?

How could 20 years of experience possibly compare to the piece of paper I got after 4 years of study!?

Today’s letter is from Ask a Manager: I work in the business/finance office for a large health care system that has hospitals in 5 different states. It is driving me insane that my regional director of finance does not have any sort of finance education. She started out as a call center rep and has been around for 20+ years. Even the VP of finance has a “computer science” bachelors degree. My…

[satiricaladvice]

No poor kids allowed!

No poor kids allowed!

Today’s letter is from Dear Prudence: Dear Prudence, I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets—mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I have noticed that on Halloween, what seems like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly…

[satiricaladvice]

The Ultimate Betrayal!

Today’s letter comes from Dear Prudence: Stolen kitchen dreams: I’ve always loved cooking and design, so when I told my best friend about my dream stove, she must have known I really had a special place in my heart for it. Imagine my surprise when I found out SHE had bought my dream stove before I could save up for it! Needless to say, I felt incredibly betrayed. I’ve basically been giving her…

[satiricaladvice]

Rude Religion Justified Because We Forgive Your Sucky Sin

Rude Religion Justified Because We Forgive Your Sucky Sin

A story from Internet Monk: My daughter, taking a break from her pursuit of a graduate degree, is a server at the Chili’s a few miles down from our house. Like many others her age she is already pretty critical of the church and its obvious hypocrisies. Her cynicism, that to say, is neither atypcial nor incomprehensible. Nor does this kind of thing help–her or others. A group of six church-goers…

[satiricaladvice]

FOMO! Teacher is talking to their fellow teacher without inviting me

FOMO! Teacher is talking to their fellow teacher without inviting me

A message board post from Etiquette Hell: Hello. DH and I have found ourselves in a predicament involving another family. Because we feel emotional about the situation and don’t wish to come off childish due to that, we could really use some non-biased insight as to how to move forward in a civilized way that will possibly still allow us to remain acquaintances and occasionally have play-dates…

[satiricaladvice]

Completely unbiased manager needs to protect daughter

Completely unbiased manager needs to protect daughter

Today’s letter is from Ask a Manager: I am the director of operations for our practice. I have a daughter who is one of our employees, and I am her manager. She has a seven-month old baby and works part-time from home for our publicly traded company, doing administrative work. She brought her baby to work recently while she ran by to get some supplies and send an email. A coworker – unbeknownst…

[satiricaladvice]

Leave Advice Giving to the Expert: Yourself!

Leave Advice Giving to the Expert: Yourself!

Dear Not Wrong, I started a satirical advice column with my friend and lately this friend, let’s call him Brian for anonymity’s sake, hasn’t been writing anymore. He says he’s busy with real life things like his job and freelance work that make him money, but I really feel like I’m more important than those silly things. How do I get my friend to reprioritize and make his life revolve around what…

[satiricaladvice]

My coworkers have no chill

My coworkers have no chill

Dear Not Wrong, I work in a field I am really passionate about with people that I dislike. It is about noon, and one of my coworkers is not here. He didn’t call in sick and is usually punctual (we are supposed to be here at 9), so my coworkers are concerned. So concerned, in fact, that they have called the police and insist on going to his house to ensure he is alive. He is young, with no medical…

[satiricaladvice]

Why don't my coworkers lunch breaks don't revolve around me?

Why don’t my coworkers lunch breaks don’t revolve around me?

A letter from Ask A Manager: I started working in this company four months ago. At my previous job, I had a very bad office climate with a horrible boss so I appreciated the relaxed climate here. Also, at this new company I am acquainted with quite a few people because we went to college together, so I expected a more friendly environment. When I first started to work here, everyone was friendly…

[satiricaladvice]

Help, my wife hates that I'm just a nurse!

Help, my wife hates that I’m just a nurse!

Today’s letter is from Dear Prudence: I am a nurse who is male. Not a male nurse (that term is considered offensive). I have been married for over a year. When we were dating I got the feeling my now wife wasn’t too thrilled with my job choice. She teased me about it, saying things like how I must really have wanted to be a doctor but didn’t have the brains. I talked to her about it. I told her…