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We looked inside some of the posts by saturnsaturn and here's what we found interesting.
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"Inside, we’re ageless. And when we talk to ourselves, it’s the same person we were talking to, the same age, when we were little, and it’s the body that’s changing around that ageless center." -David Lynch
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Maybe it’s my evilness thinking that comes when my period start but omg I FEEL LIKE SHIT
Got a headache
Felt stupid again at work
Didn’t want to be at work
Thought about how once I was 7 years old and I lived near DTLA and looked out my kitchen window only to be faced with the brick wall of the hotel that was next door to us or the sunsets at 5pm on a weekday and how thefuck im here now despite it all in a career that’s so draining but somewhat fulfilling. That’s all I thought about today. How I’m so insecure I believe I deserve to isolate and not exist (iykwim) . How despite my disgust with myself someone else desire my existence and here I am hating it. How cruel I am to feel anything, that I was born to learn lessons and be only disgusted with my feelings (Saturn rising).
I am so …so.
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ALL OF SUDDEN
Ugh I really hate you, like I do. Nothing irks me more than when bitches like you think you’re so cool because you think you’re the ONLY one who grew up in the hood. Bitch we all did and guess what we can like multiple things, I like kpop, anime, 70s music, Spanish music, I like flea markets, I have a degree, I like Taylor swift, I love Kendrick Lamar , I know oldies and 90s rap! Of course someone can be into so many things.
Now it’s corny when I post about Taylor swift and then post about Kendrick??? That’s corny?!!!! So mad. I hate you.
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I think all I wanted was to be in love with
I think I do want to get married maybe have some kids ….maybe.
I had a dream. I was with someone I was fond of because he was so nice to me and even then I did picture us together a sweet thought at 16. He was in a picture laying down next to our small baby, it was a daughter she had yellow striped onesies and a duck on her. They were sleeping together and I was admiring our little family together. He wasn’t cruel, he wasn’t how is now. He hadn’t turned into a conservative man (which he is now, sucks). It was so sweet and made me feel so guilty so mad at myself for thinking a little life like that isn’t what I wanted, but deep down I do maybe not with him, but someday.
I still get so anxious about what’s going on and wonder will it ever be, so sweet?
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Something I noticed today and it’s something I hate to admit but, I don’t like cloudy days or rainy days anymore. I used to but lately I haven’t. I miss the sun,the warmth even if I get sweaty and sticky, I miss it and somehow prefer it more
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What do I do? I feel still. Nihilism? I hate it because nothing is nothing life is nothing. Why do feel like this. I have something to live for. To sit down and drink tea. I need to feel the rain on my skin. I have this wave of nothingness right now and I hate it. I will do things and die one day but I did things I didn’t just wait and die, I fucken hate Nihilism
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