sbandag

[sbandag]

WARNING: If any of you are trick or treating PLEASE be careful we just found this in my little sisters bag and now she has no hair left! she’s comepletely bald! please stay cautious and safe everybody!

[sbandag]

Ignore the mess but I'm REALLY proud of my after baby body (sometimes)! It's not quite where I want it to be yet but it's DEFINITELY better!

[sbandag]

Custody

Me and her dad officially broke up when she was 3 months old, and we had to settle it ourselves because neither of us can afford lawyers/court. We have it now set to where we each get her a week because "that's what's fair" even though my bond with A (as her mother) is stronger than her dad who's there..but not /there/ if you know what I mean. Well I had her for two weeks while he "worked" and his family went to Florida and now he's had her for two weeks to be "fair" (conveniently when his mom got back) and I've been miserable. This is the longest I've gone without seeing her. BUT I get her back tomorrow afternoon and I'm so excited I can't sleep

[sbandag]

Pregnancy

My pregnancy was never really a happy thing. It was very stressful from the beginning. I was only 19 when I got pregnant, but I was 20 when I had her. My family was fake supportive. By that, I mean that they said they had my back but always found any and every way to make me feel unwelcome and unwanted. Whether they did that intentionally or not, I felt uncomfortable. I lived with the father for basically my entire pregnancy. As much as I loved her dad and wanted to make it work as much as I possibly could, I knew in my heart that it wasn't what I wanted. I knew I would be absolutely miserable being there. I knew we were only making it work for the sake of A. We had that discussion once, too. His parents were very supportive and great, but they collectively (mom, dad, stepmom, stepdad) raised a son with an entitlement issue. Even though he is young, the oldest of 6, and the only boy...he still feels as if everything should be done for him and he will do the least amount of work to gain as much as possible. He acts one way in public/around his family and friends but one way behind closed doors. This has always been a problem. A is almost one year old, and this is STILL an issue. There were a lot of times I felt very alone during my pregnancy. When I wasn't working (which I tried to work as much as possible so I could earn my own money and actually DO something), I sat at his house and I waited for him to come home. I sat with his family or I sat in the room for HOURS waiting to talk to him or spend some time with him. Mind you, the family also had doubts about whether he was the father or not. Which I can say with 100000% confidence that he is. Anyway... I would sit around and wait. And when he'd get home. I'd be SO happy to see him. I'd wanna talk and hang out. But the first thing he'd do was get on his cousin's PS4 that he borrowed and talk to his friends. The ones he just got off work with. Overtime that became a GIANT issue and was a point of a bunch of fights. This is when money started becoming tight. He worked at our local Home Depot in the receiving department working 5-9PM Monday thru Friday. I worked at our local JCPenney maybe about 25-30 hours a week. Every cent I got went towards my gas, food, my maternity clothes, and items for our daughter. (Who remembers when I spent my entire paycheck on bedding for her crib and he still has it at his mom's house and uses it LMAO) I got WIC but he felt as if he needed to pick out the items based on what his family needed. And while I agree with that to an extent, I also watched his stepdad eat 2 cartons of strawberries in one sitting. I also had a bag full of snacks that I had been craving that I wouldn't allow anyone to touch. I also saw his sister dig through it and laugh. I was definitely a pregnant woman who was VERY protective of her food. So I stopped letting him do that. He just got a new car because he old truck 1) was TINY and couldn't fit a car seat 2) gave up on him while he was driving. So he was paying a $200 note and $200 insurance every month. I was blessed with parents who paid my car off and pay my phone bill so I can focus on spending my money on AG. Money was so tight it got to a point where we had to work our schedules around each other so we could carpool to save gas. I closed every night so I could ride with him or he could ride with me. I couldn't afford clothes that fit me for a while. Neither could he. It was bad. After a few months he still had this PS4. I said "wow he's let you borrow that for a while now. When are you giving it back?" and he told me that it was his. I said "wait what? He gave it to you? That was nice" (because his cousin was in the military, I thought maybe he'd given it to him bc he never got to play) he said "no, I bought it from my friend" I asked him how much he spent, he said $200. I was LIVID. I cannot tell you how mad I was in that moment. I had been working my ass off just to SURVIVE and he was wasting his money on dumb shit he didn't need. Also, he's a giant proven liar. He lied to me about a bunch of other purchases. Things kept happening. He started becoming super sketchy and VERY protective of his phone. Like take it with him to pee protective. Like I wasn't allowed to know his password protective. I wasn't allowed to know his but he HAD to have his thumbprint in my phone. Then on top of that, my "friend" tried spreading lies about me at my job. Then she sent texts to my actual friend threatening harm to me and my unborn child. It caused a lot of unnecessary stress and drama. She's now ruining some other young mom's life by screwing her baby daddy for no other reason other than pure spite. Whatever. She's just making herself look worse and worse so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Anyway, my pregnancy was nothing other than stress, drama, and emotional abuse. But I got through it. It all got better. Next post will be my delivery story! All of these other stories in this one will develop with other posts

[sbandag]

I made this blog to tell my story! I plan on uploading a story a day about my journey from about midway through my pregnancy until now. That's not a promise, just a goal. But as a working mom, life gets busy and I'll forget.