scorpcorpse

[scorpcorpse]

In case you need this today

- you are not a failure - you are not a waste of space - you are loved - you are wanted - i believe in you - you can do it

[scorpcorpse]

i think i might get my nose pierced. im going to call a couple places to see if they have an availabilities

[scorpcorpse]

i uploaded my last post i my ig spam & fuck i really regret it now

[scorpcorpse]

3/5/21

i tried to have a normal day of eating but i couldn’t do it.. i threw up after 1 meal until i almost fainted & felt so weak.. now i’m drunk & eating chips i hate this..

[scorpcorpse]

@_usa9i

[scorpcorpse]

3/2/21

when was the last time you guys asked me how i was... i can’t remember. you guys don’t talk to me & i really feel like you wouldn’t if i didn’t ever reach out. growing up there was only a small amount of communication & i always tried to have more communication between all of us & i thought it would get better as i became an adult but it’s only got worse. there’s so much going on, always, i have always felt like i was on the back burner.

[scorpcorpse]

Timothée Chalamet in Beautiful Boy (2018)

[scorpcorpse]

i got drunk like blackout drunk. i do not remember anything that happened that night. i told my best friend that i wanted to unalive myself. my anxiety is off the rails from my family. i also told my other best friend that i want to be with her. i don’t know how to feel ab it. i’m just trying to forget ab it all but i can’t. i feel embarrassed..

[scorpcorpse]

spending the winter/holiday break with my family im feeling very emotional... plus im on my period so makes sense

[scorpcorpse]

i need to get fucking skinny again what the fuck

[scorpcorpse]

i’m

so

upset

[scorpcorpse]

i need lose weight and i need motivation that isn’t only from my fucked up head constantly telling me that i need to never eat again, that i don’t deserve it. i can’t do this shit anymore

[scorpcorpse]

I’m 21 now and on my birthday I got so much alcohol I have been trying now to drinking it fast but I was to drown myself. I am trying to be okay. I stopped drinking because it was bad last year but I feel myself spiraling because this has been a bad year and now I can go get alcohol whenever I want

fuuuccccckk

[scorpcorpse]

I would love to hug corpse! I would just want to make sure he’s okay. I wanna take care of him and show him love. aw

[scorpcorpse]

drinking and feeling v sad while listening to agoraphobic by corpse

[scorpcorpse]

10/31/20

it’s me feeling guilty about asking my parents for money. They were suppose to send me money to buy a plane ticket to go visit them for Christmas. But they wanted me to buy it ASAP so they wanted me to pay for it (if I had the money) I did so I got the ticket. It’s been a month. They said they would try to pay me back. I told them to not worry about Christmas gifts for me they said I’m the best daughter ever. I’m amazing & they appreciate it. I said of course that’ll be my gift. I asked my mom if they would be able to send me money as a text before she never replied to me just left me on read. Then on the phone I asked her about sending me the money she was silent for about 2 minutes then said money for your birthday (which is tomorrow) I said no not my birthday but the plane ticket money. She said uh we will try I don’t know yet. I said okay send it when you guys can. Whenever you have the money. She didn’t reply and said I love you. My chest hurts I hate this. I shouldn’t feel guilty. I won’t bring it up again. I really need that money but it’s fine I won’t worry them about my financial needs. Ugh

[scorpcorpse]

For the past week or 2 weeks I have barely ate anything but...

Yesterday 9/24 ate a banana, 2 cups of coffee, and a ton of water.

Today 9/25 half a donut bc I didn’t want to eat it all. 2 cups of coffee, a ton of water, small handful of grapes, bite of rice, small corn on the cob

I actually feel so drained and upset. This has happened so fast. I have been so busy that I haven’t been eating. This has been full of midterms that it’s taking a toll on me. I’m drained. My period has been the worse. Im exhausted. I need to get a better eating schedule down :( but I need to lose weight